Problems that men have to deal with

Recommended Videos
Oct 2, 2012
1,267
0
0
When I was younger I was raised to solve all of my problems with violence.
I was raised to feel only anger and indifference, sometimes joy was allowed.
When I got sad, when I was in pain, when I cried I was told "Buck up" or "man up" or "grow a fuckin' pair" and to quit my whining.
I was told to turn my sadness into rage and carry out revenge against who or whatever hurt me.
If I couldn't do that I was told to ignore or lock up the feelings. Cuz thats what "real men" did.

Needless to say I now have a severe rage problem and a complete inability to actually handle sadness.
When I cry its uncontrollable and messy sobbing. If I try to reign it in or do anything I start to get very angry and become a danger to myself, others, and my walls.
My family are also mostly against any kind of mental health care because they're horribly selfish fucks.

"You don't need any therapy. Thats all bullshit. All they do is blame the mother anyway. You'll go there and they'll make you hate me with their bullshit"
- My grandmother (who raised me) when I suspected I might have been Bipolar.

Let me tell you, it made friendships and romantic relationships hard. I'm still making terrible mistakes because of my anger or runaway emotions or by not showing enough emotion.

And I was so against mental health care when I was actually eligible for it that I missed out on a chance to maybe get better.

Now I know better, I see through that bullshit.
Still have trouble with my emotions but I have some insurance and a job and can actually go get some pretty damn needed mental care.
 

Skatologist

Choke On Your Nazi Cookies
Jan 25, 2014
628
0
21
A few things actually: Having generally shorter lives, a lack of funding/charity work on illnesses that more commonly affect men[footnote] but Hobby Lobby was completely willing to cover Viagra and Vasectomies over morning after pills. *Sigh* [/footnote], people viewing men with interest in taking care of children as creepy and almost automatically assuming pedophilia, lack of help/recognition/respect for men who were on the receiving ends of domestic violence, rape, homelessness etc., chances that you will get a much larger jail time as a man or even things like work time accidents or murders being higher in men.

I am sure there is more, I just can't list all of it. However, I will state, I do not feel the argument made by many MRAs of "financial abortion" is a good one.
 

Erttheking

Member
Legacy
Oct 5, 2011
10,845
1
3
Country
United States
Westaway said:
erttheking said:
Westaway said:
Threads like these are the symptoms of a dying society
I'm not sure I follow what you mean by that.
Weak men complaining to other weak men on a video game website about how they're inadequate and wished society didn't ask them to actually act like men.
...If you're just going to insult people for not wanting to conform to stupid and pointless gender stereotypes, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of this thread.
 

Drake Barrow

New member
Jan 10, 2010
107
0
0
I don't have a lot of them, mostly because I'm careful with who I take on as friends. I have very long hair, favor fedoras and trench coats without apology, and very rarely get shit for those things.

However, I do get crap for not liking beer. Seriously, I can't stand it. Most beers taste like some combination of sweat socks and licking hot aluminum to me. If there's one thing a man is "supposed" to do, it's enjoy a cold beer. It also leaves me out of the beer discussions for the most part, as my contributions consist of, "Well that label doesn't taste quite like Cthulhu's pit sweat."

Also the whole "men are to initiate all romantic overtures" business constantly gives me grief. I wouldn't mind being the one pursued instead of doing the pursuing.
 

Westaway

New member
Nov 9, 2009
1,084
0
0
the December King said:
Westaway said:
Threads like these are the symptoms of a dying society
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying men are obsolete, or that their problems are?
I'm saying psychologically and physically weak men, such as those posting "man problems" are obsolete. A man problem is not making enough money to support his wife and children, not "Oh my gosh! I just hate these sports! I'm no meathead!"
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
15
43
this obsession with being a "homo"

I mean it seems girls get a lot of leeway when showing affecting in same gender platonic relationships, but guys? they have to constantly re-assert their hetero-sexuality.....its actually rediculous

I once heard this kind of thing has its roots in mysogany, the idea that a man allowing himself to be like a woman is the worst thing ever
DrOswald said:
Men's fashion is shit. Women get all the pretty and fun stuff. They get interesting boots and colorful tops and jewelry and makeup and dresses, my god, don't get me started on dresses.

But no, I'm a man, so if I take an interest in dresses I am at best a pervert. God forbid if I actually would want to try wearing a dress some time, even thinking that makes me not just gay but a pervert and a freak as well.
I think this is a frsutration many feel depending on what end of the "spectrum" they sit

like I'm jealous as fuck over all the T-shirts and awsome sneakers and fucking hats guys get....though to be fair theres little to stop me going that way (not to mention the options intended for women)...its just a bit annoying when going clothes shopping, an actual T-shirt is a rare thing

we definitely have dress privalige though
LeQuack_Is_Back said:
Mostly the "men don't deal with emotions" bit that trips me up. The hell am I supposed to do then, ignore them until something breaks upstairs? No thank you.
condense them all into anger!

Westaway said:
A man problem is not making enough money to support his wife and children, not "Oh my gosh! I just hate these sports! I'm no meathead!"
pffffftttt its 2014 dude...this is an "everyone" problem
 

Westaway

New member
Nov 9, 2009
1,084
0
0
insaninater said:
Westaway said:
the December King said:
Westaway said:
Threads like these are the symptoms of a dying society
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying men are obsolete, or that their problems are?
I'm saying psychologically and physically weak men, such as those posting "man problems" are obsolete. A man problem is not making enough money to support his wife and children, not "Oh my gosh! I just hate these sports! I'm no meathead!"
Because we need more braindead and emotionally broken people in the world, that's what's going to fix all our problems! Being physically strong doesn't mean shit in a post-industrial society, go back to the 1800s.
But being psychologically strong is the polar opposite of being brain dead and emotionally broken. Being strong is always relevant, from performance in sports, to having a physical presence when you walk into a room, to getting girls. Being strong will always garner respect, just as being intelligent does. Being physically strong shows dedication to working on yourself and will always be attractive.
 

Saltyk

Sane among the insane.
Sep 12, 2010
16,755
0
0
Well, we are expected to know about cars. And frankly, I don't know shit about cars. I know some things, but when my car wouldn't start a while back, I was at a loss. Turned out the battery had died.

ThingWhatSqueaks said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
Testicular cancer, doing more push-ups in physical ed and being the last to evacuate a sinking ship.
You should be much more worried about prostate cancer. While the five year survival rates for both are very similar (~95%) the incidence rate for prostate cancer is many (xN) times higher than testicular cancer.

On the topic of cancer in general I would argue that the amount of funding being thrown at breast cancer has reached a point of diminishing returns. According to the National Cancer Institute breast cancer gets around twice the funding as any other cancer (2nd is lung, 3rd is prostate). There are a few other types of cancer (notably lung and colorectal) that receive significantly less funding than breast cancer but that have incidence rates ranging between significant to similar who wish that they had the five year outlook that breast cancer currently has. Breast cancer's five year survival rate is ~90% while lung cancer is at ~17% and colorectal is about 65%. When funding is viewed as a pie with a limited number of slices, to me it makes more sense to put the money towards issues where it will make more of a difference. It's not (or at least it shouldn't) like the survival rate on breast cancer is going to backslide if some of the excessive funding it receives is put towards more dire conditions.

Hypothetically if you had a $100 million and you could put it towards breast cancer to raise the survival rate from 90% to 91% or you could put it towards lung cancer and raise the survival rate from 17% to 40% which one of those is going to save more people? The answer to that is 'duh'. The reason that doesn't happen is that lung cancer is viewed as (largely) being a self-inflicted disease whereas we have an entire month devoted to breast cancer awareness (i.e. it's a very public cause).
Did you know men can get breast cancer? And no one mentions that. Yes, it's rare, but it happens. Heard of a guy trying to go to a doctor during the Free Breast Cancer Screenings, and they refused to see him. It seems they thought he was trolling them, but he was legitimately concerned about a lump on his breast.

Hell, as a man, I'm sort of expected to tough everything out. Even illness. Now, I'm cheap, so I don't go to the doctor unless I am really ill, but I've literally been told to take Pepto-Bismol and come into work.
 

Rahkshi500

New member
May 25, 2014
190
0
0
@ OP: In my experience, liking "girly" stuff, being emotional, unfortunate real-life circumstance still having me live at home with my family, and that my sexual preferences, while being the accepted norm in society, are also seen and treated as dirty, creepy, and/or wrong.
 

cleric of the order

New member
Sep 13, 2010
546
0
0
I am expected, as a man to surrender my life to save others.
As a man i am expected to bear the brunt of responsibility for everything that can be defaulted for me.
As a man I can be forced to pay child support if i date a single mother for 6 months even if i was not introduced or informed about the child
The foreskin actually matters, no seriously.
Femacide is a thing while as a man i am likely the largest target for murder and physical violence
The battered woman defense, as displayed here on this channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVRQqUgDRBevsDGOeE1DL3A
I have had few actually male role models in my life until highschool and i think id be fucked up if i did not have those positive male figures.
I will be called a white fat neckbeard, 1 1/2 out of 3 anyway but the point remains.
Terms for consent are weird
naturally men end up with worse prison sentences
men are misrepresented in domestic violence, It's almost even in split.
False rape charges is a potential problem now more then ever.
I am more likely to be homeless
People keep telling me that sensitivity is the right why, while as an emotional man I prefer to work that out inside myself, t feels better and people can become irritated with that.
misogyny's definition has been forgotten and is used as a silencer, see tumblr for examples of this, It's like nazi turning into a mythical daemon and does not question why a person is distrustful of women.
on personal levels i had to battle with self hatred for my maleness for years, having been raised in an abusive household.
I valued neither my self or my sex as valuable and silently hated myself.
As for gender, the modern, post atomic family rendering has been negative, thusly the brute has overtaken the man and It's hard to explain to people that manhood is more then unthinking violence or social ignominy.

as a foot note the reason why i placed so many global talking points is I myself have not payed much attention to my sex nor my treatment because of it.
I am not necessarily here to complain about my personal oppression, I pretty damn close to ASD (literally i can't believe it's not aspbergers) and that's likely caused be more problems the gangly bits handing off of my pelvis but as it stand you have to play the hand you are dealt, either get busy dieing or get krackin'.
erttheking said:
*Sigh* You know there's kind of a generally "accepted" mindset of what a man should be in society, at least in the united states. We're supposed to be tough, we're supposed to be crude, we're not supposed to get upset at anything, we're supposed to play sports and we don't do "girly" shit, because obviously we're gay if we do. Every single fucking day people ask me "do you play basketball" because I'm tall. And then I tell them I prefer to write and they act like I just told them the sky was purple. And I have to bite back telling them to go fuck themselves because I am tired of being asked that. No I don't play basketball, in fact I hate basketball with a burning passion. I find writing stories to be a much more productive way to spend my time. But I'm tall and a guy, so therefore I must want to play basketball because it's hardwired into my DNA, at least according to the cunts I talk to. It's very telling that I can look at another tall man, say "So how often do you get asked it?" and he knows exactly what I'm talking about.

But it doesn't stop there. Gym in high school was a bit of a miserable experience for me. Because there was a non-competitive side and a competitive side. All of the guys were on the competitive side, with the exception of me and about three others who were with all of the girls on the non-competitive side. I hated sports but I didn't want people to think I was a wimp so I stuck with the competitive side, until the teacher saw how underpinning I was (I was pathetic) and told me to go to the non-competitive side. I never exactly got made fun of for it, but I always did feel insecure about it. Something about the way society saw men made me feel ashamed for not being on the tough manly side of things, and it made gym a miserable experience. There's also how I thought 90% of the guys at school were all douche bags and had been conditioned to think that acting that way was acceptable, but that's a whole other can of worms.

That's not even getting into the fact that I suffer from bouts of depression at times and how society deals with men who feel sad a lot. They get called pussies. Thankfully I lucked out on that end with a pharmacist for a mother and an understanding family. We live in MA too, which is a bit more progressive than the rest of the states, so I wasn't just told to take it like a man in suck it up. If I had been born somewhere else though...I don't want to think about it.

So. Other guys out there, what bullshit have you had to put up with because of your gender? And ladies, any that you have noticed?
If i could go through as a check list, don't worry, under no circumstance is that the description of man, i suggest man for all seasons Saint Thomas Moore is a good example of a true man.
Being tall people assume you would be better at it, we have persona identification for a reason, walking up t oa person with no understand of what they are translates to death in the wild, being able to see patterns is hwy were are what we are, sad but true.
Perhaps in America gym-rats are jerks but up here they are not bad, i took two weightlifting courses in my day and they were definitely better then gym. You have free rein and the competition you find is one you make. Those gym rats tend to give you a bit of a hand if you don't go out of your way to be a dick and you get to see a different side of them, they can be pretty cool, or stoned 24/7.
Girly is undesirable in a man, It's simple, just don't be girly. instead be yourself in every aspect and accept it all.
(even then if you have the stereotypical male tendency to want to fix/provide solutions to things (part of the reason why I'm responding to you) then you should be fine).
Watch the edge man.
Aren't we all gamers/nerds here, I can personally recite the rules to 40k and my army-list by heart. ask me to describe any sport and I'm goign to fumble, hard. ask me to play, see above. Not to say we don't have athletes, just saying the choir doesn't need a preacher man.
I'd have to ask you about your symptoms of depression, i myself may be and have been suffering from Dysthymia, as i await a full examination i hoped to ask you about your experiences as to it and to the severity of it if you ware willing to share.
Also suck it up is a good phrase, pragmatic in the simple working class way but important none the less. You need to be strong in this world three's a reason we say that. Take it as a perceived act of mercy, when zen teachers would smack students over the head with bamboo it was see as an ack of mercy as well, a painful cleaving of vanity or failure.
There is a reason sin is sin, it carries a consequence. And all the beautiful monsters and beasts that terrorize you in both the human skin and the cloak of mind, all of them are bread from you, they are your blood and bone. Love them, hold them in high regard if you can and best them. and the best way to do it is to take a deep breath, spit out that blood pooling in your throat and charge.
Man
that's some text eh
 

Robert B. Marks

New member
Jun 10, 2008
340
0
0
Not a lot - frankly, I think Canadian society is a lot more laid back than American society about this stuff - the general reaction to "I'd rather write than play basketball" is a "That's cool," and the question that tall people tend to get asked (and joke about) up here is "Could you please reach the top shelf for me?"

But, this one was a gendered thing, and it drove me crazy when I was still in the dating pool - being tiptoed around when it came to rejection.

Imagine this - you go out on a date with somebody, they seem sort of cool, and you think you'd like to have date #2 (or #3). But, they're not interested, so they say "No." No problem so far - not everything is going to click, and if it was a good date, at least you'll be able to remember it as a good time, right? And then they follow it up with something like "Besides, I'm not really what you need," or "Besides, you really need X."

I mean, I know that it comes out of a place of not wanting to hurt somebody, but I always found it seriously insulting (and more hurtful than just being honest about it). Rejection isn't something I have trouble handling, and I'd much rather somebody be straight with me than tiptoe around me. At the very least, if somebody just says "I'm sorry, I'm not really into you," then at least you know they trust you enough to take the rejection in stride. And this "I'm not really what you need" happened often enough that I put up a blog post about it in frustration. I'm just a guy - I can take "no" for an answer.

Still, it happened a lot, and I have a feeling a lot of men have had a similar experience.
 

Erttheking

Member
Legacy
Oct 5, 2011
10,845
1
3
Country
United States
Westaway said:
the December King said:
Westaway said:
Threads like these are the symptoms of a dying society
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying men are obsolete, or that their problems are?
I'm saying psychologically and physically weak men, such as those posting "man problems" are obsolete. A man problem is not making enough money to support his wife and children, not "Oh my gosh! I just hate these sports! I'm no meathead!"
In the 1950s maybe. But not all of us want to fall into line with stereotypes because "society says so"
 

Westaway

New member
Nov 9, 2009
1,084
0
0
erttheking said:
Westaway said:
the December King said:
Westaway said:
Threads like these are the symptoms of a dying society
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying men are obsolete, or that their problems are?
I'm saying psychologically and physically weak men, such as those posting "man problems" are obsolete. A man problem is not making enough money to support his wife and children, not "Oh my gosh! I just hate these sports! I'm no meathead!"
In the 1950s maybe. But not all of us want to fall into line with stereotypes because "society says so"
But it's not society. It is biology. And even if it were purely society, the strong male is something almost every society across the globe throughout history has encouraged. Strong men have been protecting homes and nations for hundreds of thousands of years. They always have and always will be relevant. "Boys do sports" isn't some asinine rule Europeans came up with one day.

Always relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiJVJ5QRRUE
 

Guy_of_wonder

New member
Aug 28, 2014
50
0
0
I am a shy 20 year old and my family constantly gives me shit about it. Its not like i can stop it whenever i feel like it, its a natural reaction. When i am not comfortable or do not want to be there, i don't want to be friendly. When people get to know me, i am a good friend and a cool person to be around.
I also do not care about any sport whatsoever. i see them as boring and over hyped as hell. I understand why people like them, i just can't care for them.