Proselytize me! Yes, go ahead and try to evangelize me if you dare...

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

Some of us just don't get it, do they?

You can't just barge in my condominum knock violently at my door and tell me something "new" I should believe because it's an universal truth.

You neither can shove your blinking, absurd and ridiculous Avatar in my face and hope that I convert to your fandom.

No, sharing the same awkward pictures, memes or youtube clips to evangelize me doesn't help your cause neither. It makes you just look more embarassing.
But some of us don't get it, they try anyway. Maybe because they are thick, maybe because they are bored or maybe because they have nothing else to do in their pitiful life. Poor sods.

[hr]
Some of us need to learn it the hard way.
So let's try the other way round.

Go on, try it out.

Yes I mean it!
Give it your best shot. Try to evangelize me! Now! Try to see if you can indoctrinate the ultimate truth unto me.
Whatever you fancy, just see if you are succesful, I dare you.
You have what it takes to make me convert to your fandom? Go ahead and try.
But if you fail just leave me in peace with your dogmatic misbeliefs and insulting, narrowminded concept of being able to force your own opinion onto someone else.

[hr]
On a side note:
For those who want to express their sympathy because they have a mutual feeling of being vainly evangelized:
You may well come by my side so that together we can overcome this eldritch horror, I just summoned.
Oh, to the others, feel free to comment something else if you are more into a small talk like mood and are struck by lethargic apathy but still willing to type something, I won't be offended by apathy.

Now go on and do your worst!

 

[RatRace123]

Come to the dark side, we have cookies.
No man can resist cookies!!!

 

[BlueMage]

YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS A MORON! THEY DEMONSTRATE IT CONSTANTLY!

But believe that they are a moron, and their capacity to affect your life diminishes! You just need to believe. That is the ultimate truth.

 

[Giest4life]

You're damn right I hate those idiots who knock on my door, interrupt my Sunday morning wank, and ask me to embrace the "righteous path."

True Story:

Back when I attended community college, there were a lot of religious organizations and student groups that were active on the local campuses, I was approached by one of the missionaries/volunteers as I exited the elevator to go to my class. This bloke was handing out King James' version of the Bible, and as I walked past him, he thrust a Bible in my dangling palm before I could refuse. I simply accepted his "gift", walked down the hall and flung it in the trash. I heard whispers of "dickhead" and "asshole" as I made my way to my class.

Yea, sure. I'm an asshole for trashing something I don't need--something which I never asked for.

 

[Radeonx]

You should join the "Don't give a fuck club".
Ah, who am I kidding. I don't give a fuck if you join.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

I'ma be that guy and go for Christianity.
In a short short short short version, it's like insurance. Except it costs nothing at all in any way shape or form and the potential payoff is everlasting life. And if I'm wrong, then so what? What exactly will you have lost? Worst case scenario is that you live your life a little nicer to those around you. I do not get what is the drawback to it. There is not one thing mandatory about it, you are not judged like someone on trial (however much certain people think it is), there is no "heavenly report card" you receive each month. Also, you are then greenlit to date Christian girls who are awesome.

 

[ElectroJosh]

I'ma be that guy and go for Christianity.
In a short short short short version, it's like insurance. Except it costs nothing at all in any way shape or form and the potential payoff is everlasting life. And if I'm wrong, then so what? What exactly will you have lost? Worst case scenario is that you live your life a little nicer to those around you. I do not get what is the drawback to it. There is not one thing mandatory about it, you are not judged like someone on trial (however much certain people think it is), there is no "heavenly report card" you receive each month. Also, you are then greenlit to date Christian girls who are awesome.

To Singularity Datarific:
What have you lost? What if Christianity is wrong but another religion is correct and you get sent to hell for not believing in that one? The options aren't "Christianity vs no-religion"! Besides aren't you supposed to believe in the tenants of Christianity? Isn't faith part of it? I am sure god would know if you believed genuinely or whether you were just covering your ass and take that into account (or maybe not; god does seem love mindless rituals if you believe the bible represent's god's views).

Also, in my experience, Christian girls are less likely to think sex is a normal part of a relationship. So thats a negative right there.



To the OP:
So you see, OP, by me demolishing the arguments above you must now follow the viewpoint I wish to convert you to: Blackadder is one of the greatest comedies of all time (my avatar is a testament to its righteousness). You have no choice in the matter, fate has decreed that you will believe this truth (and you can't go against fate now, can you? Even god must submit to fate).

 

[staika]

You should join the "Don't give a fuck club".
Ah, who am I kidding. I don't give a fuck if you join.

Aww man I was ninjad so quick :/

OT: You should join the ninjad club, we always get ninjad but I'm sure someone would have probably told you that by the time this post goes up >.>

 

[HardkorSB]

Ultimate truth:
If you'll obtain a lot of money, shallow attractive women will want to have sex with you.

Also:
Shit stinks.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

I especially like how you are automatically worth less as a person when you don't do what they do.

 

[ElectroJosh]

Ultimate truth:
If you'll obtain a lot of money, shallow attractive women will want to have sex with you.

Also:
Shit stinks.

These are truths I can get behind. One caveat; if you are gay there shallow attractive women will be a drag, if you are straight this may be a good thing.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

I'ma be that guy and go for Christianity.
In a short short short short version, it's like insurance. Except it costs nothing at all in any way shape or form and the potential payoff is everlasting life. And if I'm wrong, then so what? What exactly will you have lost? Worst case scenario is that you live your life a little nicer to those around you. I do not get what is the drawback to it. There is not one thing mandatory about it, you are not judged like someone on trial (however much certain people think it is), there is no "heavenly report card" you receive each month. Also, you are then greenlit to date Christian girls who are awesome.

Obviously, I'm not the OP. Mind if I respond, though?

...Hopefully not, as I'm going to go ahead and not waste a post just asking whether I can respond or not.

Let's get this out of the way early. I'm an atheist. And I took a bit of offense to the fact that being religious means that I'm going to "live my life a little nicer to those around me." I was raised to be a good, kind person: not for the sake of appeasing some higher power, but just because that's the way I should treat people. Conversely, I had a friend who is a devout Christian. When she broke up with her boyfriend, she took it out on me, caused a huge argument, and stole several hundred dollars from me, as well as the last Christmas present my now-deceased father gave me. That's a pretty big generalization you're making, that Christians are going to be nicer people. And it's one that I've seen proven false.

I'm not going to proselytize about atheism. I honestly don't like getting into debates like that over the internet, as they inevitably descend into a giant hate-war. And I'm not the type of person that desperately tries to make people agree with me, either. I'm more the "agree to disagree" sort of person. If someone has religious beliefs, I respect them. I just don't share them. That's all.

Of course, feel free not to read this if it offends you, person I quoted. I certainly don't mean to offend.

 

[Dags90]

Yea, sure. I'm an asshole for trashing something I don't need--something which I never asked for.

Uh, maybe people were calling you an asshole for throwing away a paper product? There's this thing you can do with paper products that's good for the environment, but you've probably never heard of it.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

I'm not gonna try to Convert you, but this is what I would say if I did:

God doesn't care if your Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Buddhist, Pastafanarian, Black, White, Asian, Blue Skinned, Tree Skinned, Man, Woman, Gay, Lesbian, Transvestite, Asexual, or Reproduce by Budding. As long as you are good on Earth, he will welcome you with open arms as the Pearly Gates of Heaven open up for your eternal happiness. This, you have my word.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

In a short short short short version, it's like insurance.

I feel like deviating along those lines.

@OP (which is a member's name, cool!): Have you sir, ever heard of God raining fire and brimstone upon your area of residence?

Well don't you think you're overdue for it?

 

[DesiPrinceX09]

It's a trap!!

But seriously, if you are set in your ways and are so certain you can't be persuaded to join anything then more power to you; but what is the point of this thread besides complaining? All you're saying is "Everything you believe in is stupid and I pity you for trying to get others to join in the stupidity"

I don't believe in shoving any belief of any kind into someones face. If anyone is to join any fandom or convert to any religion, then they should discover it and join it on their own based on their own thinking and free will.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

How about I convert you into Chili and feed you to your parents. You know, for teh lulz and what not.

 

[SteakHeart]

I'ma be that guy and go for Christianity.
In a short short short short version, it's like insurance. Except it costs nothing at all in any way shape or form and the potential payoff is everlasting life. And if I'm wrong, then so what? What exactly will you have lost? Worst case scenario is that you live your life a little nicer to those around you. I do not get what is the drawback to it. There is not one thing mandatory about it, you are not judged like someone on trial (however much certain people think it is), there is no "heavenly report card" you receive each month. Also, you are then greenlit to date Christian girls who are awesome.

I'm not gonna try to Convert you, but this is what I would say if I did:

God doesn't care if your Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Buddhist, Pastafanarian, Black, White, Asian, Blue Skinned, Tree Skinned, Man, Woman, Gay, Lesbian, Transvestite, Asexual, or Reproduce by Budding. As long as you are good on Earth, he will welcome you with open arms as the Pearly Gates of Heaven open up for your eternal happiness. This, you have my word.

My thoughts exactly. You both are my favorite kind of person.

 

[Handbag1992]

I'ma be that guy and go for Christianity.
In a short short short short version, it's like insurance. Except it costs nothing at all in any way shape or form and the potential payoff is everlasting life. And if I'm wrong, then so what? What exactly will you have lost? Worst case scenario is that you live your life a little nicer to those around you. I do not get what is the drawback to it. There is not one thing mandatory about it, you are not judged like someone on trial (however much certain people think it is), there is no "heavenly report card" you receive each month. Also, you are then greenlit to date Christian girls who are awesome.

Oh Pascal's wager, every time I think people have outgrown you they bring you back, like an eighteen year-old girl clutching her favourite teddy bear from when she was three.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

I'ma be that guy and go for Christianity.
In a short short short short version, it's like insurance. Except it costs nothing at all in any way shape or form and the potential payoff is everlasting life. And if I'm wrong, then so what? What exactly will you have lost? Worst case scenario is that you live your life a little nicer to those around you. I do not get what is the drawback to it. There is not one thing mandatory about it, you are not judged like someone on trial (however much certain people think it is), there is no "heavenly report card" you receive each month. Also, you are then greenlit to date Christian girls who are awesome.

I'm not gonna try to Convert you, but this is what I would say if I did:

God doesn't care if your Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Buddhist, Pastafanarian, Black, White, Asian, Blue Skinned, Tree Skinned, Man, Woman, Gay, Lesbian, Transvestite, Asexual, or Reproduce by Budding. As long as you are good on Earth, he will welcome you with open arms as the Pearly Gates of Heaven open up for your eternal happiness. This, you have my word.

My thoughts exactly. You both are my favorite kind of person.

Sorry, but My thing is completely different from the other guys thing. Mine says God doesn't care: His uses a Fallacy that basically says "Since we don't know the answer, the best bet is to be Christian". And I am highly appalled at that kind of behavior. I am not Betting, I actually have faith that a Divine Creator set everything in motion. I'm not saying "Since I don't know, I should go with this or else I'll burn in hell." That's a terrible terrible argument.