Psst he is in the friend zone

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The Night Angel

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I don't believe in the 'friendzone'. It's just something people use as an excuse so they don't have to hurt someone or feel hurt. It only comes up when one, or both, of the people involved are too afraid to express their feelings. Also, enough of the friendzone threads please??? >.>
 

370999

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May 17, 2010
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SirBryghtside said:
These threads always boggle my mind. Has nobody else ever 'friendzoned' a girl before? Are you all really that desperate?
Look at this thread

zelda2fanboy said:
Where is this magic land where people have friends? I want to go to there....
...yeah
 

Mysterious Druid

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May 27, 2012
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It's like /R9K/ found its way onto The Escapist. In fact, it might be worth checking out some archived threads from there so you know exactly what not to do.
 

Loonyyy

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5ilver said:
TheRealJLars said:
2.) She was interested, but you were to dense/oblivious to notice, so she gave up.
Is it really the guy's fault in this case?
No, but neither is it hers. The tendency to view it in terms of guilt, and an Us Vs. Them mentality can be difficult to overcome. No-one is trying to cause harm in this case, so no-one's done anything wrong.
 

aba1

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Honestly if a girl is not interested, she is not interested. I don't see why people need to make it more complicated than it needs to be.
 

MASTACHIEFPWN

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Mar 27, 2010
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Young people are stupid.

Simplest answer. All our hormones drive us to do is to find someone attractive. It doesn't matter if they are the worlds most stuck up ***** or an uber douche, if they look nice to have sex with, we want them.

Shallow as it may seem, that's the reasoning held behind their shallow attitude.
How to fix this? Find someone smart, worth while, if you are really that tired of rolling your dice in this stupid game we play.
 
Sep 13, 2009
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I really don't understand the rationale for these kinds of things.

For the sake of argument, lets say that this woman is just as shallow as the self proclaimed nice guy claims. They're only interested in dating hot looking guys, regardless of how much of an asshole they are, and completely neglect the nice guys who would be perfect for them despite their subpar appearance. If they are SO in the wrong and so unbelievably shallow, why the hell would the nice guys (who are reportedly not shallow) be interested in dating them? It might just be me but there seems to be some kind of discrepancy in there somewhere.

As for being annoyed by their complaints about no nice guys, the problem is probably not that they're looking for assholes. When people are looking for relationships, intentionally or not people generally put on a face that they think the other person will like. If party A is a complete dick, party B will probably not be shown that side until after they start developing interest.

Plus... I'm sure that a lot of these "assholes" that they complain about really aren't. Just about everyone sounds in the right when you only get one side of the story. I'm sure that a lot of these "assholes" are ranting to their friends about her and calling her a ***** for it.
 

Emperor Nat

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I feel like this is going over a lot of what has already been said, but to simplify everything...

"Being friendzoned" is a term used to conveniently describe the situation wherein one person has a romantic attraction to another, but the second person has no romantic feeling for them.

What the term is often used for however is a strange view that being friends with someone entitles you to start a relationship with them. This is untrue, and regardless of the strength of your feelings for them you cannot force them to feel the same way.

There are many reasons for this, not least among them physical attraction - perhaps the other person simply doesn't find you aesthetically pleasing... or maybe isn't even attracted to your gender. You can't change that. Furthermore, they may seek personality qualities which you do not possess - for instance someone might want someone with an innocent, idealistic sense of humour and you possess a cynical, sarcastic one.

In the end, it comes to the point where you must either accept that they do not find you attractive, or cease contact with them. If the latter is your preferable option, you probably weren't that good friends with them to begin with.

--

Also, as a side note - I didn't use any gender-specific terms there. Why? It is not an exclusively guy-likes-girl situation, and the same thing has happened to many women over the years as well.

...We just used to call it 'having a crush on someone', rather than attaching an odd name to it.
 

Conn1496

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Apr 21, 2011
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In psychological terms, the "Friendzone" is basically a case of: too good to happen. To be honest it's a compliment with drawbacks, but probably still the best compliment a woman can give you. If you're literally too nice for a woman to go out with, then you can find someone else anyway, so no biggie. JUST SAYAN.
 

itsthesheppy

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It amazes me that some guys can't comprehend the possibility that they are likable enough to hang around with, but not as much to have *sex* with.
 

Aesir23

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Just because a guy is nice does not automatically mean that a girl should go out with him, she may not feel any sort of attraction to him or does not want to ruin their friendship should the relationship fail. To generalize women as conniving people because they just don't want to go out with you is petty at best.

Also, there's quite a lot of hypocrisy when it comes to guys whining about the Friend Zone. Believe it or not, they have Friend Zones of their own. Girls who appear to meet their expectations (they don't meet them entirely, obviously) but are delegated to being just one of the guys. Likely for the very same reasons that girls delegate guys to the "Friend Zone".
 

deathzero021

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Feb 3, 2012
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well here's my guess:
people have huge expectations. they want beautiful, charming, funny, smart and kind - all in 1 person. even though this is impossible, still many people chase after it. this is why the majority of people's relationship life is filled with short-nasty relationships. it's life in the fast lane apparently.

however, that's for young people, eventually they'll get older and hopefully learn a thing or two and settle down with a nice guy eventually.
 

Dags90

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Conn1496 said:
In psychological terms, the "Friendzone" is basically a case of: too good to happen. To be honest it's a compliment with drawbacks, but probably still the best compliment a woman can give you. If you're literally too nice for a woman to go out with, then you can find someone else anyway, so no biggie. JUST SAYAN.
That or they're just ugly. The OP spells it out right in the first post, the women don't find their guy friends sexually attractive. Or they have some quirk that makes them unattractive as a relationship partner.

I'm not sure how the OP can remember enough of those explanations to be able to reproduce them here without understanding how reasonable they are.
 

Whateveralot

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Oct 25, 2010
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In the past three years, I havn't met the friendzone. It's all the guys' fault that they're being friendzoned.

I'm not even kidding.

However, you are right about "you get what you pick". Making stupid decisions isn't justified by any reason.