Quarter To Three gives Lollipop Chainsaw a 2.0 out of 10

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Aug 24, 2009
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DVS BSTrD said:
Wow this guy thinks they're trying to combine Buffy with Bayonetta in this game? And he considers himself a serious reviewer?
http://www.dreamstime.com/large-swirl-lollipop-thumb7032713.jpgSUCK IT!


DX approves of your message.

OT: Eh, I don't care, I'm still buying it on the fact it appears to be over the top fun.
Also, most user reviews are better than that. Even mine are, and I suck at them. :D
 

Instant K4rma

StormFella
Aug 29, 2008
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Huh. Personally, from the gameplay I've seen, I'd give it a fairly low score, but a 2.0 for the vague reasons he gives seems harsh, to say the least.

I feel like I'll give this game a rent, just so I can say I played as a cheerleader with a chainsaw voiced by Twilight Sparkle. Then I can die happy.
 

JoesshittyOs

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Aug 10, 2011
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From what I've seen of the game, I absolutely agree with him.

There is not one thing redeeming about it. It's not funny (and by that, I mean it's really not funny, the gameplay mechanics looks really dull, and... honestly, why was it made in the first place? What about this seemed a good idea?

Edit: I don't agree with his review, just his score.
 

Dryk

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More Fun To Compute said:
Tom Chick's whole routine is that he puts one small aspect of a game that nobody else cares about under the microscope and judges it based on that. Then he waits for people try to work out what the flip he is thinking, if he is a dick or some sort of enigmatic genius.
He just wrote an imperfect but decent review of Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion... I guess he only wrotes a few vague paragraphs (read: shit review) for games he didn't like

EDIT: Yeah reading some of his other stuff it seems That he has a Rant/Blog-post/Real Review scale that matches pretty nicely to his 1-5 scale
 

Otaku World Order

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Nov 24, 2011
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Sneezeguard said:
this guy is terrible

http://www.quartertothree.com/fp/2012/05/30/what-if-electronic-arts-published-dragons-dogma/

look at this review, this isn't a review it's just him taking pot shots at EA.

Look at this, max payne review he gave 2 stars

Oh this is gold!

"Max Payne 3 mostly looks good, but it?s no Kane and Lynch 2, and not for lack of trying. It?s obviously attempting Kane and Lynch 2′s brilliant and subversive YouTube aesthetic without really having a reason to do it"

Wow this guy is insane.... He..I.. no.. I have no words.

This is either trolling or this is so bad it's hilarious
Wow... That's just....

I'm guessing this guy is the Armond White of game reviews.

As or Lollipop Chainsaw, I got it and I love it, so I really don't care what this doofus says.
 

Xaio30

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Nov 24, 2010
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Tara Strong as the protagonist. I give this game a 11 out of 10. I am not biased at all.
 

Woodsey

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Tom Chick is relatively infamous for hating Deus Ex when it came out, although I guess that whole ordeal has long-since faded.

Anyway, people have different opinions to you. Deal with it. If Metacritic choose to feature him that's their problem, and he shouldn't have to alter himself to accommodate them. (I mean really, have we not worked out that this whole review score business is fucking retarded yet?)

Besides, this game's been getting some pretty divisive scores. Saw someone give it a 3/10 yesterday.

Oh, and the complaints are:

- Shit, uninspired and poorly implemented gameplay
- It's inherently gimmicky
- It's got stupid, unfunny humour
- No interesting characters
- Sexism
- A weak mixture of two other properties
- There are better alternatives

So, a bit more than "not funny" and "it's not Bayonetta". I mean, for four paragraphs I'd say it's deceptively dense.
 

RN7

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Oct 27, 2009
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I got a better impression of the game from watching a preview of it done by this girl who worked for IGN a day or two before the public release than I did this review- and that was just the first 10-15 minutes of the game, not counting the cutscenes. The only reason I find this game appealing because it was made by Suda 51 and has that same raunchy humor as Shadows of the Damned. The game is not Shadows of the Damned, however. This game is more in the vein of bayonetta or God of War, in the sense that it's a spectacle fighter. It has a very 1950's feel to it, combine with elements of modernism. It may not be the greatest in terms of cinematics or writing, but if you want to just plain have fun and kill a bunch of zombies, this is the game for you.

I can also recommend it for those who liked Shadow of the Damned, though not for the atmosphere. This game is very bright, considering it's not set in Hell, but in an average California town, albeit in the midst of a zombie invasion brought about via an arcane ritual. However, the real brightness comes from the fact that as you cut through the zombie horde with your bedazzled chainsaw, the zombies explode into sparkles and rainbows. And gore. lots of gore and body parts too.

This game does not deserve the rating it got, especially considering the fact that the reviewer basically condemned it because he didn't think it was funny and that it wasn't bayonetta. It goes to show that the rating systems of today aren't entirely accurate of effectual. I just wish more people would realize that.
 

Nerexor

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Regardless of this review, I checked out some others (the Joystiq review is quite good) and based on them I'm picking up Shadows of the Damned today and waiting for Lollipop Chainsaw to hit the bargain bin. Given that most reviewers put it at having between 8 and 10 hours of content (and that includes achievement grinding), I'm not dropping $60 for that. Of course, because of the short gameplay and lack of online content, I can't imagine it will take long for used copies to pile up at your local game store anyways.
 

Eamar

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Feb 22, 2012
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I have no vested interest in defending Lollipop Chainsaw (didn't preorder and haven't bought it or anything), but I did check out Metacritic and was surprised to see that one massively negative review sticking out like a sore thumb, drastically lowering the overall score. Clicked through out of curiosity, expecting to see an interesting difference of opinion from Jim's glowing review and... yeah, no.

How does one become a "professional" reviewer for the purposes of Metacritic? Because seriously, if this really is his profession he's incompetent. Four tiny paragraphs of a blog post amounting to "I didn't like the jokes" and "it's not Bayonetta" do not a full review make. Who decided that this guy's opinion was worth more than the average blogger's?

As I said, I have no particular interest in this game, and I'm usually all for critics giving their honest opinions even if they're unpopular, but honestly. I expect to see some evidence of professionalism in a "critic" review.

Seriously though, anyone know how it's decided what counts as a "critic" review?
 

Tallim

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Xaio30 said:
Tara Strong as the protagonist. I give this game a 11 out of 10. I am not biased at all.
That sounds pretty low, you must be biased against Tara Strong......
 

targren

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May 13, 2009
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Jim just nails it right here:

This is, without a doubt, the stupidest game I have ever played.

I also think I am in love with it.

In three days, I've clocked 15 hours on it. Not bad for an OTS beat-em-up. I shall forever enshrine it in third place of my Goofy Holy Trinity with Bayonetta and Onechanbara.

Damn, but some of the cheevos are brutal, though. <_<
 

Tanis

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Aug 30, 2010
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Wait...this game isn't SUPPOSE to be like Devil-Sexy-Hair-Magic-User-Palin-Cry.

'Reviewer' is either trolling or retarded.
 

targren

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May 13, 2009
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Sober Thal said:
\
Please explain yourself.

What is OTS?

How can you compare Bayonetta with OneChanbara? Same idea but made in completely different ways, eh? Is this game a horrible tank controls hack and gash?
Sorry - OTS: "Over the shoulder" (the general location of the camera).

I compare them because they ARE the same idea. They're both over the top, campy, grindhouse fun. Onechanbara is pretty much a raw slasher, while Bayonetta is more of a DMC "Style" fighter, but both are stupidly fun to play over and over again. :) Lollipop Chainsaw is sort of am middle ground between the two, and almost as fun (although the levels are really, REALLY long which makes going back for completion sometimes a PITA).

One of my favorite parts of Bayonetta was the endgame sequence
where you play as Jeanne riding a motorcycle into space on the side of a rocket
.

It was good to see the same spirit here when you find out
the final boss is a 50-foot Elvis Zombie!
There are no words to describe my manic glee when I got to that!
 

targren

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Sober Thal said:
Anyways: I can't take you seriously if you relate to DMC and that Jap fan service hack and slash shit called Onechanbara. You obviously don't understand what the real game (Bayonetta) is all about. So I don't think you can tell me about the new Buffy game as honestly and coherent as I would like. It's not your fault.

Thanks for making the attempt!!

Sorry, but I'm done here it seems.

Bayonetta is on a whole different level than Devil is Emo shite.
I never said that DMC was good. I personally loathe the series (the first one was pretty good other than the godawful voice acting). I said that it was the same style fighter, right up to the "complements" that pop up when you get the long combos going. But you damn sure seem to be fanboying awful hard on Bayonetta. What it has in common with LC and Onechanbara is that I think they're fun to play.

If you don't think so, good for you. If that makes you "not take me seriously" then, dude... seriously, get over yourself.