Question about sexuality.

[MasterOfWorlds]

As I'm sure many of you have seen, there are a ton of threads about sexuality on here. Now, I'm not trying to start a flame war or anything, but I'm genuinely curious about sexuality and the average person, whether that person be hetero, homo, or bisexual, as well as transgender, pansexual, omnisexual, and the like.

My question is fairly simple, I think. When did you realize that you are the orientation you are? Were you always that way, or did you wake up one day and realize that you were one or another?

As a former psychology major and current sociology major, I find this question very interesting since sexuality seems to be a hot button issue. So I'd like to increase the discussion value of this thread by adding, "Does sexuality really matter?" to the mix.

Please, do try to be calm and reasonable. If someone says something that offends you or tries to troll you, just report them, and don't flood my thread with meaningless semi-thought out rants.

So, I suppose I'll start first. I'm a heterosexual male, have never had any interest in men sexually, and have always (at least as far back as I can remember) had an interest in women. As for the sexuality and it mattering? I don't see how it should affect me unless someone of non-heterosexual orientation hits on me, in which case, I politely decline. I don't see the huge fuss about it.

 

[deathninja]

Reasonable question, reasonable answer...

I'm Bi, but only really accepted that in the last few months (after talking it over here, of all places). I didn't really develop much in the way of sexual tastes until I was late teens, but always had as much an admiration of men as I did an attraction to women.

The final push was that there was a massive domestic issue in my family last Fall, I ran away for a bit and it gave me time to think and come to terms with various aspects of my life. The label's not important, but I found understanding myself was.

 

[linkvegeta]

Sex ed, I learned that males have sex with females to reproduce. I never questioned it.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

I like to say "Love the person, not the gender/sex."

What does that say about my sexuality? I do not know.

According to my understanding of pansexuality, I believe that you fall into that category. I could be wrong, so don't quote me. XD

Captcha: otethere (Theory

 

[RountreeUSMC]

I am a heterosexual male who has had a number of homosexual and bisexual friends of both genders. As a former thespian I hung out with very promiscuous people and really never questioned my attraction to women. There were some times when I was in the Marine Corps when I actually questioned my sexuality but mostly due to the environment I was in as opposed to any real sexual confusion. (I.e. 3 month long boot camp with 74 other guys, no women and communal showers)

 

[Tharwen]

I'd like to take this opportunity ask another question which has interested me for a while...

Do gay men like the same men as straight women do (and vice versa)? Disregarding the fact that you're likely to be more interested in someone who is oriented towards you, do they find the same things attractive?

Anyway, for my answer, I don't think it's possible to be absolutely oriented in one sexual direction. I think you just find specific people attractive and your sexuality acts as nothing more than a bias.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

The label's not important, but I found understanding myself was.

I think that this pretty much hits the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned. As long as they're not hurting anyone, why bother them? I believe that people have the fundamental right to live life as they choose unless they have caused harm to other people, which is semi-relevent to this thread, but does have a tendency to open up a can of worms in that direction.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Well, I can right away answer "yes" to "does sexuality really matter?"

It matters to the person who's it is, and the person they'd be with.

If a guy likes guys and goes out with a girl, they'll obviously fail as a relationship, as sex is a big part of 99.999999999% of romantic relationships, whether it's actual sex or just sexual attraction.

BUT, someone's sexual orientation shouldn't matter to the general public.

As for your original point, I'm straight. I considered that I may be gay at one point, as everyone does, but then I, to put it as bluntly as I can, realized I didn't like penises, and I did like breasts and vaginas. Really, that's the only way I can put it. I think I may be the ever-so-slightest-bit-bi, but I would never act on it, simply because it's nothing beyond pure curiosity.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I'm a straight guy. I just grew up that way, and I've always been interested in women. I had a few quibbles with bicuriosity in my teens but nothing even remotely serious. Other peoples' penises are one of the most repulsive things I can think of, besides squid or octopi. Even from a non-sexual standpoint, guys have different personalites to women, even homosexual guys. I couldn't really see myself forming a romantic relationship with a man.

I think the bicuriosity was because at the time there weren't any girls that I was particularly attracted to. I realised, shortly after, that porn and mainstream media had given me unreasonable expectations, so all the girls I knew looked pretty average to me. They might have had a cute face or something, but they didn't have any of the bodily features that I was after, because we were all halfway through puberty. Unless a girl's got at least one perfect feature I find it hard to really get going, so I was a bit aimless in my pubescent ogling of women.

I don't see sexuality as an issue. I know a couple of homosexual guys and they're not alike at all (for example, one is your stereotypical camp guy and the other is a muscly sex obsessed jock), so I can't see sexuality being a big deciding factor in how I react to people. Some of my friends feel a bit threatened by gay guys, but I'm not quite sure why.

 

[Best of the 3]

I think Sexuality does matter because if it didn't we'd all be bisexual which I am btw.

I don't think anyone is born gay / straight etc etc but is raised and experiences a load of things, (usually straight orientation), grows up having that as the norm and therefore the majority are straight. To me it was only when I was about 12-14 I realised I was bi and had a sexual attraction to both boys and girls (being only girls first).

I really should be putting more psychological gabble in this as a student in it myself, but I'm really slow and tired today for some reasson.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

I think you just find specific people attractive and your sexuality acts as nothing more than a bias.

I'm not sure if that's true, but I suppose that it becomes an argument on semantics then. For example, I'm a heterosexual male, so I don't find men sexually attractive. That doesn't mena that I find all women attractive either though. I don't find women attractive based solely on the fact that they are female either.

Taking this argument further, however, reveals interesting tidbits. I would, in theory, be able to have sex with any female of legal age, because they are women, and as such, I'd be more attracted to them sexually, and thus able to perform.

On the other hand, I'm not in the least bit attracted to males, so I wouldn't be inclined to perform with them. This is assuming consentual stimulation and such. Everyone should know by now that even if stimulated involuntarily, the body is going to react the same, despite sexuality.

 

[Best of the 3]

I'd like to take this opportunity ask another question which has interested me for a while...

Do gay men like the same men as straight women do (and vice versa)? Disregarding the fact that you're likely to be more interested in someone who is oriented towards you, do they find the same things attractive?

I can try to answer that as a Bi. I say yes. I look for things in guys that probably women do too. I think it all depends on both what the man and woman want in a guy. If a woman wants a good looking guy there is probably a gay guy loking for the exact same thing. If a woman is looking for someone with a great personality there is probably a gay guy looking for the exact same thing again.

So, short answer, yes, but it depends on what both parties are looking for.

 

[Dags90]

Do gay men like the same men as straight women do (and vice versa)? Disregarding the fact that you're likely to be more interested in someone who is oriented towards you, do they find the same things attractive?

There's really way too much differences of opinion within each group to make any meaningful comparisons between the two groups. I think gay men have higher physical standards though, generally.

I was ~11 when I started having sexual urges.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Heterosexual bi-romantic male.

I don't really know. I tried homosexuality when I was younger, but it never really appealed to me, but I did still know that I liked guys in something like 'that way.'

I sort of settled into my sexuality fully when I was 17/18, but had basically known since I was 14 (when I was experimenting primarily) and then around when I was about 20 I actually found the definitions of romantic attraction and realised that was probably the best fit of what I was.

For those confused by my terms (who obviously have never seen me discussing my sexuality in the many many other threads about it) I actually fuond the best simple definition here on this website:

'I want to sleep with Stephanie but cuddle with Stephen.'

Note that I said bi-romantic, I still have romantic relationships with women, it's just that I want to sleep with them as well, men it's all about the romance. And I'll admit that when it comes to men I am shamelessly shallow, much less so than with women. For a woman I genuinely look for personality etc, with a guy I'm mainly interested in how they look and wow this got weird all of a sudden.

 

[New Troll]

I'm hetero and have been for as long as I can remember. Have always been fascinated by the female body, especially the rear area. A nice, hard curved ass is the quickest way to get my attention. Nice breasts, not too big, and long flowing hair are also appealing. I remember looking through the comic book rack at a book store when I was very young and running across a Playboy. Definitely the highlight of that shopping trip!

As for other people's sexuality, to each thier own. I've befriended many gay guys whom I've geniunely enjoyed thier company. I've also met a few who annoyed me just like most anyone else. I used to date a lesbian in my earlier days too. I was basicly her "make sure" guy, but unfortunately she was definitely gay. She tried too cause she really was into me, but after a few months it was obvious it wasn't meant to be.

And as for gay guys hitting on me, I find it flattering. Hell, I've probably had more gay guys than straight women hit on me in my lifetime, so I relish the attention. Did have a gay friend who use to tease with me constantly, but I always left him disappointed by never letting it get to me. Once he did get me though when I forgot who I was talking to and he looked over my shoulder and said "Oh wow! Check out that ass!" Ended up admiring a behind I was not prepared for, to say the least. And there was one time a gay guy did get under my skin with the amount of attention he was giving me. But I've felt that exact same way with several women I've also found very unattractive.

The big question to me... would I date someone who's had a sex change. First thought is no, for once a male, always partly male. But I honestly don't know. Would depend entirely upon attraction I guess.

Does sexuality matter? It does to the individual, but shouldn't to anyone else. As long as children or illegal activities aren't involved.

 

[OctoH]

Male. Definitely not straight. Figured it out in high school, but I always knew something was different from my straight friends.