QUICK! my essay is due tomorrow!

[Codeman90]

If you seriously can't finish a one page paper in a day then you're screwed. I've done 5 page papers in one night. C'mon man it'll take like 2 hours tops. Just think of something, ANYTHING. If you have no restrictions it really isn't that hard. In fact I'd have trouble only being limited to 1 page, that wold drive me nuts =/

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Compare the Doctor from Doctor Who with Batman.

They are actually quite similar.

Nemesis Is a symbol of insanity and kind of a genius? CHECK.
Won't use guns? CHECK.
Uses crazy gadgets instead? CHECK.
Detective? CHECK.
Iconic, multipurpose vehicle? CHECK.
Takes on multiple sidekicks, but one at at time? CHECK...I think.


OOH! Or compare V for Vendetta with Assassin's Creed. You know, that story about an assassin with throwing knives who takes down a massive, religiously-motivated conspiracy that aims to control free will in the name of safety and peace by killing it's most powerful members.

Spoiler: OH WAIT.

 

[Rarhnor]

Compare Tales of Symphonia and the history of Christianity. If you haven't played Tales of Symphonia do that and skip school.

I almost cried for second.

You go have an awesome day.

 

[Aetera]

Wait wait wait. This thing doesn't even have to be a page long? What the hell are you having a problem with, then? I was all prepared to offer sympathy as a fellow procrastinator, but one page of writing due tomorrow, and you're freaking out? I once wrote a ten page paper in four hours for the head of the English department at my highly ranked $35,000-a-year college and still got a B+ on it. If I can do it, so can you!

MAN UP.

Hm, churn out a page on the attitudes and actions concerning crime of two different countries and their comparative effectiveness/crime rate?

The genres of movies/books/plays that are the most popular of different time periods and the possible cultural explanations for said differences of popularity?

The similarities between whatever vice of different time periods was causing the biggest cultural outcry, such as alcohol during prohibition times, jazz music, violent video games, etc. Compare the similarity of the moral guardian outcry to ban said "evil" things, and the results of said effort?

 

[quantum mechanic]

If you're pre-IB, you can use this as practice for the writing on the IB (and AP) exams! Pick two books or two poems you've studied (this year or last year, but something relatively fresh in your mind). Compare & contrast, looking for central themes. Once you have something you can make a thesis out of (note: the thesis is VERY important), outline it and go!

Also, make sure you cite any sources you use, even if it's just the books/poems you're using. You'll have to do this in college anyway, it's good academic courtesy, and your teacher might be impressed.

 

[Delsana]

WAY TO PROCRASTINATE!

 

[RidetheLightning]

Do an essay about the Uncanny Valley and just copy what was said Extra Credits

 

[fix-the-spade]

I have to do a comparative essay and its due tomorrow. it doesn't have to be more then a page but i have no clue as to what i could do for a good topic, major brain fart. Any ideas or suggestions?

Effective time management and planning: An essay in how I managed to get it all wrong regardless.

Good luck!

 

[Maximum_Power_Cheese_Supreme]

30 September 2011 4:24 am - I have to do a comparative essay and its due tomorrow.

By tomorrow do you mean this morning? Haha, I am so you. I had to do a comparison essay, I did it on 1984 and Brave New World. I hadn't even read all of BNW. I also got an A for an essay on The Lovely Bones with only reading the first half of it. Just wasn't that interested in BNW or The Love-velly Bones.

 

[Koroviev]

Write about something that interests you. Carefully define each "object" and then compare and contrast their attributes and functionality as you would those of apples and oranges, authors and artists, video games and another form of media, etc. Break it down into a straightforward, analytical assignment.

 

[Frankster]

Lol at all the hating coming from people, because they've all never ever left anything to the last minute

To be fair, I think both the organized people who clicked on thread for a laugh AND fellow procastrinators who were drawn to the cries of help are hating in equal amount

Prim and proper organized people would moralize no matter what, but in the case of the other group: Procastrinators can't believe this laziness is possible, despite their name procastrinators tend to be GODS at damage control and emergency essay writing, and just dodging academic bullets in general. Being lazy requires more work and skill then people think.

When a procastrinator asks for help from his/her bretheren, we lazy people are eager to help as cooperation with others is one of our means of survival.
However OP litterally hands us the work and goes "here, do it for me" which is againt all procastrinator protocol.
"We are as lazy, if not lazier then you are, so don't ask things you wouldn't bother with yourself" is the rule. And no lazy person worth his/her salt is gonna do the full work of another person, it's against the code.

Edit: Am now extremely curious to see if OP pulled through or not.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING!
i have high 90's in all my classes so im not dumb or lazy, i just can't think of ANYTHING which is very weird so all i am doing is asking for your help!

You're on an internet forum when you should be working on a paper. You're a procrastinator. I should know, we can smell our own.

One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us.

Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble.

OT: I would compare Ninjas and Dinosaurs. It can't fail.

 

[Section Crow]

your essay is due tomorrow and instead of trying to do it you make a thread to see if we can help?

i see flaws in your logic my friend but for the sake of it, just focus on one idea and use that idea to branch it into others and try to keep the rhythm of that going.

 

[lacktheknack]

I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING!
i have high 90's in all my classes so im not dumb or lazy, i just can't think of ANYTHING which is very weird so all i am doing is asking for your help!

"I am not procrastinating, I just have an essay DUE TOMORROW"

Right.

Anyways, compare ceiling fans to standing fans.

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

He could compare Digimon to Pokemon?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/archive/7/73/20110128203738!Trollface.png

I wrote a two page paper on that last year. Got an A on it due to my objective way of comparing the two. It wasn't hard, they really are two completely different franchises. Go figure.

OT: Oh, I don't know. Compare apples to oranges or something. It's your homework, not ours.

 

[Aetera]

Oh! Also? If you're really having trouble writing a single page of bullshit, here are some tips from an English Lit major:

-Quotes. Seriously. Long quotes can really pad out an essay.
-Break your essay up into smaller paragraphs. It will take up more space.
-Restate your ideas in different ways for "clarity," and over-explain things. For example, instead of writing "X and X in fact have many similarities." Write "The juxtaposition of X and X, while appearing on the surface to be at opposite ends of the(subject genre) spectrum, in fact reveal numerous shared qualities upon closer examination. The two in fact share many similar and related elements, and their comparison reveals much about the nature of the two subjects."
-????
-Profit!

 

[The Random One]

Compare making an essay beforehand on a well researched topic to making an essay just on time without enough to do it well.

Ooo, better! Compare making an essay just on time to not doing one at all!

guys did you ever see tsuipli existence. i saw them live last week. they tune tribal instruments for three hours and then leave the stange. it's transcedental. the didgeridoo girl is pretty hot

 

[Randomperson9999999]

compare doing your work and not doing your work

 

[captainordo]

Compare the tactics used by the American Army and the Russian Army in WWII

 

[Pirakahunter788]

Oh! Also? If you're really having trouble writing a single page of bullshit, here are some tips from an English Lit major:

-Quotes. Seriously. Long quotes can really pad out an essay.
-Break your essay up into smaller paragraphs. It will take up more space.
-Restate your ideas in different ways for "clarity," and over-explain things. For example, instead of writing "X and X in fact have many similarities." Write "The juxtaposition of X and X, while appearing on the surface to be at opposite ends of the(subject genre) spectrum, in fact reveal numerous shared qualities upon closer examination. The two in fact share many similar and related elements, and their comparison reveals much about the nature of the two subjects."
-????
-Profit!

Pure genius my friend.
I must try these tips out sometime.