Quitting smoking and why I can't do it.

[Random Argument Man]

Let me be clear. I used to love smoking cigars and tobacco in my pipe. 3 months ago, I decided to stop buying small cigars since I was starting to smoke more during the day. It was my first good initiative. However, pipe smoking was the only thing that kept me in the smoking clan. I had my small bag of tobacco and it was the best damn thing that I've ever smoked. However, all good things comes to an end and my tobacco bag ran out. The only good tobacco, that I know of, is in Montreal which is a good 15 hours of drive from where I am.

I decided it was a good time for my second attempt for stopping my addiction. Knowing that I can get very nervous and have little patience after a small break, I inform my roommate that I may get very cranky and maybe get very aggressive.

It sounds all nice right? The problem is my roommate. He's a anti-social, immature, strong-headed idiot. Not only that he doesn't care about my status, he's in fact trying to push me over the line. That guy has no (and I repeat "NO") sense of conscience and no form of social skills. He acts rudely, he insults me at every turn, he laughs at everything that say or beleive and worst of all, he thinks this is funny. My description does not make justice to the amount of things that he does.

I've managed to tough two weeks without smoking. However, last night, I had a big withdrawal moment and I was pretty nervous. To clear my head, I went to a friend's place for a video game night. Guess who came along with a bottle of rhum...(It his friends too, so I can't say no).

Now, my friends always jokes about me being "gay" because I didn't had a girlfriend for about 4 years. My roommate decides to play jokes and say that we're a couple. It got on my nerves, but I didn't do anyhting. Then, he decided to grab my ass. I snapped. I throwed myself at him, but luckily, I fell before I could do something serious.

I was already nervous and aggressive and HE KNEW ABOUT IT. For me, however, I knew that he would try something stupid again during the night and I had to find a solution to my nerves. I went and bought a pack of bulleyes cigars. I smoked a few and managed to calm myself. Later during the night, I've said to him "stop doing things likes this when I'm in this state. If I end up with something like a knife, I don't know if I would be dangerous". He replies "You can't stop me from doing things like that. It's in my nature".

My solution is probably change places and roommates, but my contract only expires if my roommate would find someone or I wait for 5 months. I know that he will never bother to find someone else. Everyone I know don't want to stay with him and I'm about to snap. The only thing I can do is to wait for that damn contract.

My question is: What the fuck can I do in a situation like this? I want to stop smoking. However, if I do, I end up being a dangerous guy because of him.

Also, is there something that I can do for those 5 months?

 

[farscythe]

eh tbh..if your gonne be stuck in that place for another 5 months then..youll either have to give up on quitting till then...or just go for it and let your roommate deal with it when you do finally try to kill him (tbh..one good attempt would probably make him see your point ) but yea.. if possible spend as much time as possible away from home and him.. thas about it.

sorry its not very helpfull

 

[ramboondiea]

cant you find the replacement yourself? what cant of contract is it?
best thing i can suggest is gum and patches, i know people its worked for, or get freinds to actively stop you smoking, a friend of mine told a few of us to not let him smoke, so every time he tried we would hit him, every time he turned it down we rewarded him (old school psychology ha)

 

[rokkolpo]

You could just get aggressive on his ass.
I don't see any reason not to hit him in the head every so often.

If he's a big a douche you say he is, it would be high time someone threw a bottle at his head.

 

[crudus]

I guess you could give nicotine patches or nicotine gum rather than going cold turkey. It isn't exactly a happy medium but does get you to quit smoking and prevents you from killing your roommate.

 

[manythings]

What kind of measures does the contract have? If you leave do you have to just pay a fine or is it something far more seriously like legal action for breaking the contract?

If it's just a case of you paying some money to get out of it then you should pay and go. You might miss the cash but getting rid of a fucker is always well worth it.

On the whole it sounds like he makes living there unreasonably problematic for you and you should just tell them to shove their contract and, if some kind of legal action is taken, make the case that you pay to live in comfort not to live as a hostage to an assholes whims.

You could just get aggressive on his ass.
I don't see any reason not to hit him in the head every so often.

If he's a big a douche you say he is, it would be high time someone threw a bottle at his head.

A bottle filled with (at least) piss.

 

[Random Argument Man]

What kind of measures does the contract have? If you leave do you have to just pay a fine or is it something far more seriously like legal action for breaking the contract?

It's a contract that even if I leave, I must pay my share until another tenant comes in or the contract expires. I can't kick him out. I don't want to pay bills for things that I haven't used.

A replacement or a contract expiring are the only two ways that I can get out of it. I tried to find someone to take my place, but "big suprise", no one wants to live with someone immature like him.

I signed the contract because he's the little brother of a good friend of mine. When I first knew him, he wasn't such a douche.

Note* A bottle of piss sounds like a nice idea, but I don't think a judge will think so.

 

[Ekonk]

Nicotine patches, get addicted to them. They don't ruin your lungs, you see. Nicotine rush, no fucked up lungs.

 

[manythings]

It's a contract that even if I leave, I must pay my share until another tenant comes in or the contract expires. I can't kick him out. I don't want to pay bills for things that I haven't used.

A replacement or a contract expiring are the only two ways that I can get out of it. I tried to find someone to take my place, but "big suprise", no one wants to live with someone immature like him.

I signed the contract because he's the little brother of a good friend of mine. When I first knew him, he wasn't such a douche.

Note* A bottle of piss sounds like a nice idea, but I don't think a judge will think so.

It would be an awesome judge who did think it was ok.

You really got screwed by your friend on that count and I think you should take it up with him. If he really is the super douche you say he is I think your only choice might be to try a lawyer and see if the contract can be nullified since he clearly makes your life a misery and freely admits he'll do anything he can to make you suffer.

 

[vrbtny]

What about those E-cig things?

 

[Olikunmissile]

Attempt to smother him in his sleep, you'll scare him so much he'll stop being a dick.

I'm currently quitting right now, it's tough but I'm doing it with my willpower rather than getting the industry's help. It's not the most enjoyable thing I've ever done, luckily I don't have a retard to deal with. In place of a some I just do something, go running, get a drink, anything to get my mind off it. It's working so far.

 

[TaboriHK]

Your addiction is your responsibility and no one else's. You have no right to place the blame on anyone else for the choices you make.

 

[LostAlone]

Kicking anything habitual is tough no matter what, and when you are in a stressful situation, to be quite frank, its straight up not going to happen.

My advice to you would be to save quitting for the next life-change you're coming up to. It sounds like your a student (living with a jerk, contract is up in May and a landlord who doesn't care), in which case wait either wait for the end of the contract, or until you graduate.

The only way to just push through with willpower is to make it part of a whole sale change to your life. ATM you're stuck wanting to quit but having nothing else to take its place in your life. Failing to quit stresses you out. Trying to murder people stresses you out. Living the same life in which you smoked stresses you out.

This is why most people fail at practically everything in the long term. Its not because they're weak, its because there's a reason why you do what you do, and that's not going to change just by wishing.

You either need to replace smoking with something else (I hear that exercise is good for kicking addictions) or change your life to the point where you don't feel the need to smoke.

So yeah... Pick a good time in your life, when you are positive and are starting new patterns. That way it'll actually take.

Good luck dude.

Edit -

Your addiction is your responsibility and no one else's. You have no right to place the blame on anyone else for the choices you make.

I strenuously disagree with this. Both the content and the sentiment are IMHO wrong.

The OP is not blaming anything on anyone, and is in fact asking how he can better take charge of his own problems. So you're way off base with the what you actually said.

The sentiment is also painfully wrong. The thing that you need when you are trying to get clean of anything is support. Its something to look out for you and save you from yourself, because willpower alone basically won't work without it. As the guy he's dealing with is making it worse, and indeed has no respect for the OP trying to change, I think he's justified in feeling like this guy is the cause of his problem.

To clarify, his problem is not that he can't stop himself smoking, its that he can't deal with the additional stress of this douche.

If you have never broken an addiction then you simply don't understand how hard it is to deal with life without whatever it was you leaned on for years. It makes everything in your life so much harder, so much more painful. It will push you beyond your rational ability to make decisions.

Imagine if you will, the worst itch you ever had in your life. It's driving you CRAZY. And it'd feel SO good to scratch it. And you are in a world of back-scratchers, fingernails and forks all of which seem to be begging to scratch you. It stops you sleeping, and thinking and doing anything. And you know you can scratch it if you want. No-one will stop you. You can... But you just keep screaming at yourself that you can't. Oh and that lasts for the rest of your life.

Basically, you are choosing to drive yourself insane when you try to break an addiction. That why you can end up hitting people, because the frustration and the internal struggle build up until you either go back to the behaviour (which you KNOW FEELS SO GOOD) or you find another outlet for that tension.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Speaking as someone whose given up recently.

My question is: What the fuck can I do in a situation like this? I want to stop smoking. However, if I do, I end up being a dangerous guy because of him.

Punch him. I'm serious. If he's deliberately trying to rile you, put you down and that sort of thing - Show him you're serious. Guys can usually get over that, but you've got to let him know how much this means to you - and he's not listening to reason.

Also, is there something that I can do for those 5 months?

One day at a time man. If you need a smoke, (And BOY, will you) have a glass of water. if it's still there, go for a run - anywhere.

Your timeline - if you don't already know it.

T-0 : Stop smoking
T+4 hours: First withdrawl. Irritable.
T+1 day: Ranty.
T+1.5 days: Intolerable.
T+2 days: Screaming
T+3 days: On edge.
T+7 days: Ridiculous pain.
T+14 days: Breath starts coming back.

It's those 14 (and especially the first 2) you have to get over. You WILL slip from time to time, but every time you do, slap yourself in the face and stub it.

It's not easy. Anyone who says it is is a damn idiot, but it is possible. I dropped from 20 Marlboro full strength to 0 without any help, and I'd been smoking 18 years.

As for gum and patches, don't bother. They're swapping one addiction for another and they're as bad. Patches give you mad hallucinations as they wear off in your sleep, and gum knackers your jaw.

Give up, expect the mood, destroy everything you will try and cannibalise for a smoke, lock yourself away, feel the pain....and then breathe free.

But, don't turn into an ex-smoker. They're awful. Just be someone who doesn't smoke anymore, but lets others do what they want.

 

[LiquidSaladDrink]

Depending where you live you could probably some of the few currently legal entheogens, they can suppress withdrawl.

 

[Treeinthewoods]

I've got to be honest, maybe you should quit smoking after five months when you get a new place. Consider it a fresh start, closing a dark and smoke filled chapter.

Also, get a girlfriend by any means necessary. You can crash at her place if she lets you or you can both crash at your place and be too busy to hang out where he can give you crap.

If not a girlfriend, maybe try making some other new friends who won't mind letting you couch crash every now and then just to get your head clear.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

Ok. So heres what you need: Bleach, good gloves, disposable clothes, bleach, a spade, a gun, a tarp, and an empty plot of land that nobody goes to.

Once you have all this, tell me and I will direct you along the next step.

 

[Tron-tonian]

Being a dick isn't someone's "nature". so, make it clear - he either steps back, or it'll be coming back tenfold. And stick to it. Make it clear that you will make his life pure hell - he's talking to a girl, you'll make sure to mention his STD tests. He's doing homework, you'll be practicing your yodelling. He's eating in front of the TV, you're bringing up the 2 girls, 1 cup vid. Make it clear that you will continue as long as he keeps being a douche.

Make it clear that it his own behavior being revisited upon him. Might take a bit for him to catch on, but if you use it as a replacement for smoking, I think you'll manage. ;-)

 

[LogicNProportion]

My grandmother, who is in her 80's, has been a smoker since she was 14. She would smoke two packs a day.

She quit just last months in little time thanks to those new electronic cigarettes. She was able to cut it down to a puff or two in the morning, and right after dinner, before she quit altogether.

 

[devnty06]

There are many natural herbs which contains no nicotine, which on smoking can reduce the craving of the smokers and is considered to be a useful method to curb the smoking tendency and to quit smoking.

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