Random scenario Monday! The fate of the world is literally in your hands!!

[Glongpre]

I would get rid of mosquitoes. But I won't tell you the full extent of my plans because then you'd know too much.

I'd get rid of all the goddamn mosquitoes. Sons of bitches.

Hey guys, mosquitoes are an important food for some animals, you don't want them to starve do you? But I agree fuck those cocksuckers. Animals that depend on them will just have to adapt, and not be bitches about it.

I would probably get rid of those groups that came up to me, then give myself 99 virgins and taunt the fanatic muslims. Then I would give myself an everlasting quen sign, and make dumb thoughts give people a brain freeze. I would then rest.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Well, I'd get rid of all the humanitarian crises in third-world countries, undo climate change and help create the first viable fusion reactor, establish what I consider to be a free society in every country, alter myself to be more wise, understanding and altruistic (because I don't really trust myself not to start restricting freedom of speech for idiots or starting eugenics programs), then have clones of new, better self instated as the ruler of every country (but still seperate, so I can understand individual issues). Then focus on space exploration.

I would make it so Astronomy and Astrology have different names, so people don't confuse them with one another. Because that's kind of annoying.

How does Astronomy and Quackery sound? In a similar vein, I'd probably rename Scientology (which means literally 'the study of science', which even I originally misconstrued to mean atheism when I heard it) to Fictology.

EDIT: In case it isn't obvious, fuck groups. If I have the power to change the world, I'm changing it my way.

EDIT: And as my one concession to hilarity, I'd replace all American spellings (in speech, Scrabble, Microsoft Word, programming languages, Japanese (poor bastards)) with their English counterparts.

 

[rob_simple]

Oh, that one's easy:

Really I think I'd go mad with any little bit of power given to me, so absolute power would corrupt me in about five minutes.

 

[SD-Fiend]

1.I'd make it so various currently useless animals were beneficial to humanity by being able to thrive partially on pollution so they can clean up the oceans/land better.
2.Make mosquitoes directly beneficial to people... somehow.
3. Pokemon for everyone!
4.I'd then make my own world where I can use the device to it's full power and do whatever I want whenever I want.
5.Send chinangel and all the other furries to another (furry)world as well. Being a polar bear would be awesome and all but having it forced on me would be weird! I'll just terraform Venus for them and they can be as hairy and flea infested as they want.

 

[AidoZonkey]

1) create a personal army of Wookie mounted T-Rexs.
Joking

Nah if I had that power I would use it to strip all governments and armies in the world of their power and build a new world leadership from scratch
Also change the way pollution can be used so in practical terms it becomes beneficial to organisms

Oh and pokemon of course

 

[randomsix]

Fly across the Pacific Ocean.

Fly above a cargo cult.

Drop precious cargo.

???

Profit.

 

[bfgmetalhead]

Annihilate almost all organized religion, and make the world into one nation state and force them to transfer all military spending into science projects.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

I would bring about Armageddon.

Spoiler: How, you ask?

 

[Evil Smurf]

Instate communism: the working edition.

...What? I may be crazy conservative, but that's out of a sense of realism crushing my internal idealism.

Maybe I'd make the church and state united as well, just because I can now make it work.

I'd do both of these, as a communist and Christian I feel both need a little love.

Also I'd make my house taps dispense beer and drink free beer forever!

 

[Nickolai77]

Religion, i think, is the ultimate way to control the minds and hearts of other people. So if i were to go down the fun and evil route i'd invent my own global religion, perfectly customised to suit my own preferences to shape the behaviour of others and mankind as a whole.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

I'd get rid of almost everything that pisses me off, from ignorant/stupid people to mosquitoes (seriously, why do they exist?)

...Either that, or I'd give superpowers to people I think deserve it.

 

[tilmoph]

So I basically have God in a box? Like, full on reality warping to suit my whims? Well, shit, this is gonna be fun.

First things first; space colonies. We've had them since the 70's, a fuckhuge industrial plant on the Moon, powered by fusion, which we've had since the late 50's. Hell, the whole Moon's a giant super factory, because fuck yeah. Also, pollution control or some crap, but seriously, do I need to justify fusion powered moon-factory? Of course not.

In addition, there are at least 8 major, 10,000 or so pop international civilian colonies in space under UN mandate. Mainly used to study the effects of life-long zero-g on the human body, with a secondary effort on zero-g engineering studies and colony ship design. Their third role is cryogenic storage; in case the world nukes itself, the colonists are stored until the survivors can calm the world enough to be repopulated.

Barring that, tech three is artificial wombs. Full-on vat babies. Instead of pregnancy and childbirth, you just order up a kid, undergo some psych and financial checks, and nine-months later, the hospital calls you up and you pick up you're new baby. If the world blows up, we just start pouring out the babies by the truckload, let them be raised by nannybots. Of course, Mars is a giant repository of frozen sperm and eggs, from everyone we can get them from, ready to repopulate Earth or the stars. Also, mars has orbiting "colonies" staffed with some scientists and back up facilities, in case Mars gets nuked too.

Medical tech includes full bore nanotech, able to combat cancer, obesity, plaque build-up, repair massive internal injuries, basically anything involve precision internal destruction or rebuilding of a human body. Load 'em up in a syringe and wait a couple of hours. BAM! No more cancer and your body is sculpted to perfection. Also, your arthritis is gone. Have fun.

Lastly, mini-nukes, Fallout style. Military only, but yeah, they're a thing now. Just because.