Really Lame Jokes

[havass]

OOO lame jokes! I love them. I have a ton of corn ones.

Spoiler: Where do you keep corn?

In a container!

Spoiler: Where do you hide corn?

In a corner!

Spoiler: What do you call a smart corn?

Confucious!

Spoiler: What do you call a dumb corn?

Silicon!

Spoiler: What's the hardest corn in the world?

Concrete!

Spoiler: What corn protects you?

A condom!

Spoiler: What'dya call a corn in jail?

A convict!

Spoiler: How do you compare two corns?

In a contest!

Spoiler: What do you call a female corn who has the wrong idea about everything?

Misconception!

I have more, but this post is way too long. So I'll end with:

Spoiler: You think these jokes were corny?

*points at eye* This is cornea!

 

[chinangel]

a man walks into a bar. Ouch.

 

[spartan1077]

A cloud of helium walks into a bar- the bartender says, " sorry but we don't serve noble gases here"- the helium doesn't react.

Schrodingers Cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.

Awesome jokes by: Brian Malow

 

[0bserv3]

an Infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders one bear. The second one orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The Fourth is about to order when the bartender yells out "You're all idiots!" and pours two beers.

how do you get pikachu on a bus? you poke-him-on

how do you get lady gaga on a bus? p-p-p-poke-her-face

okay thats the worst I got.

 

[tombman888]

"Every day a 'gabe is fat' joke is made, Episode 3 is delayed by one more day. The amount of days has exceeded the number that is the weight of Gabe."

actually that one is quite good, but i needed to post it somewhere.

 

[Numachuka]

OT: Two antennas got married. The ceremony was poor but the reception was excellent.

 

[Ace of Spades]

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? All the sailors were marooned. *BA-DUM-TISH*

 

[Steppin Razor]

What's ET short for?

Spoiler

Because he's got little legs!

 

[gibboss28]

Q. What noise does a cat make going down the motorway?
A. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

I saw a man stealing a gate once, I didn't say anything in case he took afence to me.

And of course:
Q. Why was 6 scared of 7?
A. Because 7 8 9

 

[NewYork_Comedian]

A psychic dwarf escaped from prison yesterday.

Police say there's a small medium at large.

Oh god dammit ninjad!

Mine was gonna be instead of dwarf its midget.

Alright guys you ready for this.

Guess what?

What?

CHICKEN BUTT!

Brilliant.

 

[Peteron]

Q:Whats red and goes BGYGYFHFGHFYTH
A: A baby in a blender.

But thats a really good joke! I guess its just me

 

[The Paradigm]

Why did Jesus go to the Japanese restaurant?

Spoiler

Because he loves miso

 

[bluemistake2]

A cloud of helium walks into a bar- the bartender says, " sorry but we don't serve noble gases here"- the helium doesn't react.

Schrodingers Cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.

Awesome jokes by: Brian Malow

Oh god! make him stop!

 

[drbarno]

What's a rare mythical creature?

Spoiler

An honest politician

 

[Ldude893]

Knock Knock

 

[GrinningManiac]

Did you hear about the sentient bookcase?
It was Shelf-Aware

(I made up that one myself)

And the classic:

"Noone drives in New York 'cus the traffic's so bad!"

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

Bub Corn turns to Ma Corn and asks, "Where's Pop Corn?"

And Collingwood players cant read or write, but they can draw! (Undecipherable unless you're an Aussie)

Collingwood: Australian for "near enough is good enough" since 1884.

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

Well this isn't really a lame joke but its pretty funny.

I was walking by a baseball field right next to a school the other day with my friend.
I happened to notice that that baseball field had the first and second base but no third base.
So i turned to my friend and asked him why it doesn't have a third base.
He replied...
Its a catholic school.

 

[the lapalminator]

Q: what does a gay horse eat?

A: HAAAAAAAY

now lets hear yours.

that one was funny as shit!

QTE: your so fat your hair is fat!

 

[Lambi]

A dyslexic walks into a bra...