Reasons why Oblvion is better than real life

[Lukirre]

For the Khajiit women.

...
...
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...You were all thinking it.

 

[cloneblade]

I shall start us off...



You can memorise entire books in less than a second... how I wish I had this skill in school

The gods actually do stuff

Deadric armour beats jeans and t-shirt hands down

Crouching in a corner makes you invisible, great for when the Jehovas witnesses call round

You can tell what you're about to say will piss someone off before yuo say it to them

Major blade and axe wounds leave no visible scars

When the weather's shity you can wait a day for it to clear in a matter of seconds

You can beat your friends up as much as you like and they'l never hit you back

ok firstly am i the only person i know who can memorize any passage from any book i've read instantly?

also i must tell you i've never played oblivion but i play rpgs so im not completely oblivious to what hes talking about

second The gods actually do stuff i have nothing to say about this

Deadric armour beats jeans and t-shirt hands down? who in their right mind wants a set of armor from a video game? can dearic armor stop bullets? i know kevlar can id rather have kevlar than dearic armor any day

You can tell what you're about to say will piss someone off before yuo say it to them? so you don't know when your gonna piss somebody off when you say something? wow are you a robot or something? you honestly don't know when your gonna hurt someones feelings far out man learn to be human

Major blade and axe wounds leave no visible scars? this one really gets me going so your saying that you run into people trying to kill you with an axe every day and you just wished they didn't show visible scars? how the f**k does that work?

You can beat your friends up as much as you like and they'l never hit you back: why are you beating up your friends?

 

[bodyklok]

Also you got soapy tit wanks from foxy night elves.

EDIT: Don't give me that look, someone had to say it.

That...was purely awesome. Wrong game, but still funny.

Why thank you, I agree. Quoting Yahtzee is always awesome.

 

[hannahdonno]

I like how you can just rip a bear's/wolf's pelt of with your bare hands as well.

Yeah that was pretty cool, but what got me was the fact that you could do that and the Wolf/bear/imp/whatever still looked excetly te same.

Yerr, seeing a mutilated imp corpse would really brighten up the game.

You ask me those Imps were born mutilated, ugly mofos.

Nothing beats that hound you get given in Shivering Isles. I got so paranoid when it followed me aorund, I never knew it was mine, but it was so disgusting I killed it anyway.

Shivering Isles never went on PS3 (Which is what I played oblivion on) *Single tear slides down cheeck*. I have it on PC though, just never had a PC that could run it properly.

Ahh, you missing out ya know. Sheogorath is a legend.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

I shall start us off...



You can memorise entire books in less than a second... how I wish I had this skill in school

The gods actually do stuff

Deadric armour beats jeans and t-shirt hands down

Crouching in a corner makes you invisible, great for when the Jehovas witnesses call round

You can tell what you're about to say will piss someone off before yuo say it to them

Major blade and axe wounds leave no visible scars

When the weather's shity you can wait a day for it to clear in a matter of seconds

You can beat your friends up as much as you like and they'l never hit you back

ok firstly am i the only person i know who can memorize any passage from any book i've read instantly?

also i must tell you i've never played oblivion but i play rpgs so im not completely oblivious to what hes talking about

second The gods actually do stuff i have nothing to say about this

Deadric armour beats jeans and t-shirt hands down? who in their right mind wants a set of armor from a video game? can dearic armor stop bullets? i know kevlar can id rather have kevlar than dearic armor any day

You can tell what you're about to say will piss someone off before yuo say it to them? so you don't know when your gonna piss somebody off when you say something? wow are you a robot or something? you honestly don't know when your gonna hurt someones feelings far out man learn to be human

Major blade and axe wounds leave no visible scars? this one really gets me going so your saying that you run into people trying to kill you with an axe every day and you just wished they didn't show visible scars? how the f**k does that work?

You can beat your friends up as much as you like and they'l never hit you back: why are you beating up your friends?

I find your erratic rant amusing, funny little man.

Now go to dictionary.com and search for 'irony' and 'humour'

 

[Serious Samuel]

You can tap a bunch of scrolls twice and the next thing you drop will duplicate itself.

 

[Booze Zombie]

Getting hit in the neck won't behead you and headshots are not fatal.

 

[Kajt]

M'aiq knows much, tells some.
Mudcrabs.
Invisibility.
Teleporting.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

[]Yer, my favourite Oblivion weirdness moment came when I was just prancing about the countryside filling in the map. I went into a house and the moment I stepped out a freaking unicorn was there, waiting, facing me and ready to attack. My horse was miles away, so I fought him. "Unicorn is unconscious", the game gallantly said to me. I hadn't realized he was a Quest NPC. I take my chances and run away (I was near Chorrol at the time, so I map travelled to Cheydinhal). Would you believe that when I left the town THE FREAKING UNICORN WAS THERE. He attacked me again. Since I couldn't fight him, I ran. I couldn't map travel because I was still under attack, so I had to run. Perhaps I could've cheated, used a mod or something, but the whole situation was so hilarious that I just kept running. The Unicorn of Hell chased me through forests, mountains, hills and swamps. It followed me into an Oblivion gate. I took the Sigil Stone from the Oblivion plane and the Unicorn still hadn't had enough. I eventually went far, FAR into the mountains (the place you have to go to for the Lifting The Vale quest) and when I returned, the Unicorn was thankfully gone. 3 hours spent doing NOTHING except leveling Athletics indirectly, but the best 3 hours of my gaming life.

I don't usually read walls of text but I'm glad I read this one made me smile

 

[Darkintent]

In real life you dont have the magical ability tO MAKE WHOLE HOURS PASS IN SECONDS
GOD that would help at your Auntie Carols parties eh?

 

[painfull2006]

I think i like the permanent 100% invisibility clothes

or destroying hell from the inside

 

[Kinguendo]

Never farting.

 

[jaammiie]

I haven't read the whole thread but did everyone miss out the fact that you never get tired or need to go to sleep?

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

Magic>>>>>>>all

So...Many...Crazy...Spells...

Magic had cooler effects in Morrowind, though. Levitation! Levi-fucking-tation!

 

[FadedMemory]

This is directed at cloneblade who is ridiculing the first post.

Hi, uh yeah I'm sorry but you seriously need to stfu because it is obvious that you don't know what you're talking about. You're just making yourself look stupid so stop trolling and try to join in without being a dick.

 

[Darkhill]

Also you got soapy tit wanks from hot dark elves.

EDIT: Don't give me that look, someone had to say it.

Dunno what version you played but I want it.

I second that.

Why is Oblivion better than real life? You can stop playing.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Never farting.

But also no girlfriend to push under the blankets if you did

 

[Darkhill]

Never farting.

But also no girlfriend to push under the blankets if you did

No girlfriend in general over here

 

[Izakflashman]

I use my paint brushes to get on top of my roof.

Although I hate it when I kill people and they biff their stuff into the long grass.. Never to be seen again.