SpaceChem, World of Goo, Zuma and Peggle? Any sports simulation or management game. Space Rangers 2 (2D Elite-lite space trading game with quirky text adventures - can be played non-violently - well OK, not easily. I admit I only included it because I think it's hugely under-rated and I am a real Elite fan)
SpaceChem is a real revelation for me (thank you Steam Summer sale!). For my kind of puzzle-obsessed analytical mind - it is, without doubt, one of the most compelling, open-ended puzzle games with real arm-pumping completion satisfaction. Not for everyone I suspect - but for the money, well worth a look.
I wouldn't worry too much about the proportion of games that use violent conflict as the primary mechanism to instill dramatic tension. It's common in tabletop RPGs too - another /interactive/ pastime. Games, as a medium, have some interesting limitations, not shared by books, TV or film. Life-death struggles are compelling and deeply embedded in the human condition - which is why it is attractive and effective. Also easier to portray interactively than, for example, someone's inner struggle between love and loyalty in gritty inner Glasgow.
Also, would the ratio you saw in films, TV and books be any different if you only looked at those specifically aimed/marketed at a male audience aged 10-30?