Reconciling Adulthood with Gaming

[Dirty Apple]

I've played video games my whole life. Most of the guys I grew up with played too. The difference is they grew out of it and I didn't. I've always defended it as my chosen hobby. It's relatively cheap, it keeps me around the house, and it's not unhealthy or dangerous. I thought I'd probably play games to one degree or another for the rest of my life.

Now, my wife and I have been talking about starting a family. This has begun a train of thought about my future responsibilities and what is expected of me. Up until now, my wife has been fairly understanding, but I can't help but think that she may not be so indulgent when there's a baby to be changed. And rightly so, having children sets priorities, and gaming will be way down the list. That being said, I'm sure other guys who've had to give up their band time or sports teams miss their hobbies. Can I be a good provider and father, while still playing video games?

 

[ArcWinter]

I suggest you get your kid addicted to video games, as you were, and mess up his psyche to a level akin to yours.

Although seriously, video games are a time-wasting hobby, like everything people do in life. Kids, your own genetic material, are more important than that.


But when you are not changing diapers, get some headshots.

 

[NeutralDrow]

Prioritize your kid, make time for both if you can. Depending on your tastes, you can even indoctrinate introduce them when they're old enough. Worked for my father, at least (though mom apparently had to talk to him about too much time on the computer).

 

[Ammadessi]

Being a father doesn't mean that you don't get entertainment ever again, it just means you have to reevaluated your priorities a little.

It's absolutely possible to be a gamer and a father, my dad introduced me to games after all.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

Yes, but your video game time will have to be cut back drasticly at first (not sure how much you play now, so it depends) or it may become a point of contention between you and your wife. What it comes down to is spending time with your family and not "checking out" when you get home from work each day to play video games.

Your game time will probally take a major hit, but if it's any consolation by the time your kids are old enough to take care of themselves (like 35 or something) video games will be seriously awesome works of virtual reality.

But yea, i have no kids (only three younger brothers) so I have no real point of reference.

 

[Thaius]

Can I be a good provider and father, while still playing video games?

Well for one, most husbands come home from work and watch the football game or something, so there's no real reason why video games should somehow be viewed as worse than that.

Beyond that, you may be able to legitimately focus on them even in marriage if yo ucan develop some kind of reason why they mean so much to you. For instance, I see video games as literature, just as important to life and culture as books or film. That's a pretty good reason to stick with it, especially if you can put that purpose to use somehow. I plan on it, when I am married, but hopefully I'll be able to get into the industry.

 

[Dirty Apple]

Prioritize your kid, make time for both if you can. Depending on your tastes, you can even indoctrinate introduce them when they're old enough. Worked for my father, at least (though mom apparently had to talk to him about too much time on the computer).

No, my first priority will be family, no questions. It's just that I don't know too many Dads who are excited about a game releases. Can Dads also be gamers?

 

[RicoGrey]

I am 27 years old, and married with one kid, 11 months old.

It is not hard being a husband/father and a gamer all in one. For the first 3 months the kid will sleep something like 20 hours a day. Months 3 - 6 the kid will most likely still take 1-3 naps a day for about 1-3 hours each nap. At 11 months old he still takes at least one nap that lasts between 1-2 hours. Gaming works out great, cause you can get in while he is sleeping, and then simply pause it when he wakes up.

Between spending time with my son and my wife, I still get in around an hour a day, but that includes time spent surfing the internet as well. Of course on my days off I get more time if I want it.

Oh, and despite what ppl may tell you, if you are an attentive father, and pay attention to your wife's needs, you will probably end up having MORE sex than before. Getting more sex, makes giving up games pretty easy. thesexisbettertoo

EDIT: I get excited about game releases, I just dont tell anyone, haha.

 

[zamble]

No, my first priority will be family, no questions. It's just that I don't know too many Dads who are excited about a game releases. Can Dads also be gamers?[/quote]

I guess they can. Actually, the next generation of dads will have to, since most of the kids will be playing videogames to one degree or another. playing with your children is an important part of parenting, it's not just about rules and obligations.
What will be cur down is the time to your own playing, and you'll probably adapt your taste a little, if you're into violent stuff, you'll probably drop that and prefer family-oriented games...

 

[Gene O]

I grew out of watching tv regularly and watching other (grossly overpaid) people play games that I'm not involved in at all.

Come on, two out of three isn't bad.

 

[Dirty Apple]

I am 27 years old, and married with one kid, 11 months old.

It is not hard being a husband/father and a gamer all in one. For the first 3 months the kid will sleep something like 20 hours a day. Months 3 - 6 the kid will most likely still take 1-3 naps a day for about 1-3 hours each nap. At 11 months old he still takes at least one nap that lasts between 1-2 hours. Gaming works out great, cause you can get in while he is sleeping, and then simply pause it when he wakes up.

Between spending time with my son and my wife, I still get in around an hour a day, but that includes time spent surfing the internet as well. Of course on my days off I get more time if I want it.

Oh, and despite what ppl may tell you, if you are an attentive father, and pay attention to your wife's needs, you will probably end up having MORE sex than before. Getting more sex, makes giving up games pretty easy. thesexisbettertoo

EDIT: I get excited about game releases, I just dont tell anyone, haha.

Thank you. I needed a little father thumbs up.

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

You shouldn't have to stop completely so long as you have enough sense of responsibility to run through your priority list properly. Pause screens will be your friend I imagine.

 

[badgersprite]

Well, I can only tell you from my own experience. My Dad was a gamer, and I have some great memories of sharing that with him when I was a kid. You see, he's a doctor, so, especially at that time, he worked really long hours, and spent a lot of time on call. By the time he got home, he was tired, and it was too dark out for a kid my age to be running around outside, obviously, so one of the ways we could spend time together was to play video games. I could click the mouse in Monkey Island or press the spacebar to jump. ^ ^

Of course, we did lots of other stuff together too, especially on weekends, but, you know, when the weather was bad outside, or we didn't have the time to make a day trip, we could always spend time together and have fun playing the PlayStation. One of the great things about video games is that it's time we've always been able to share - it's a hobby we've always kept in common, just like the fact we both love Led Zep and Monty Python, you know? So, even if you have to sacrifice video games a little for the first few years of your child's life, remember that they are a great way for you to have fun and spend time together, even when it feels like you don't have a lot of time on hand. =)

 

[Daniel Cygnus]

Can Dads also be gamers?

Hell yes. My dad's 50, and he LOVES Fallout 3, Metroid Prime, and Half-Life. He's been a pretty good dad to me over the years, and I can't honestly say that it's detracted from that at all.

 

[seidlet]

dads can totally be gamers. my husband and i definitely intend to keep gaming after we have children - like other people have said, plenty of people with families take the time to watch TV or go out to dinner. you absolutely have to make time for yourself, and if you want to spend that time gaming, go for it!

 

[Chipperz]

I can't say anything from personal experience, but my tutor at college has three kids and runs three clans (or at least he was at last count. I don't know if he's ditched Killzone 2. Even then, he's probably picked up Uncharted 2...)

It seems pretty easy to juggle, but then again, I just haven't seen the balls drop yet...

 

[Good morning blues]

I don't think that time management is that difficult.

 

[SimuLord]

I'm 32 and a big-time PC gamer. That said, when (if) the wife and I have kids, I can't imagine raising them to be gamers as well. I'm going to teach any sons I have all about sports and we'll probably spend a lot more time playing sports outside, watching sports, and generally being jocks than playing video games---although I'll likely have a console the kids can play when it's raining or snowing outside (the plan is to raise the kids in either my hometown of Boston or my wife's of Edmonton), and then only when the weather's just plain too lousy to go outside and get exercise.

Tidbit I learned in Nutrition 121 this morning: An estimated 70% of Americans under the age of 21 don't get enough Vitamin D, and the main reason for the deficiency is that kids are spending too much time indoors and not enough time out in the sun. There's only so much milk a kid can drink, they need the ol' sunshine vitamin, and you can't get it from sitting on your duff playing games.

 

[Jenkins]

fold your kids INTO gaming.