Rejection

[Sticky Squid]

I don't care.

 

[FamoFunk]

Suck it up like a Man.
And have a good drink

 

[Random Argument Man]

Step 1.Mass consumption of alchohol
Step 2. Go to sleep.
Step 3. Wake up with hangover

Results: You forget the girl since you're occupied with your body.

 

[Brandon237]

I have been rejected once... and knew it would happen, I was more just informing the girl that I had a thing for her, and I took it well, as in "got that done, bravely too, now to enjoy my weekend"

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

We've all been through it, we all know the pain.

Wait, what? That's not true at all! I've certainly never had to deal with being rejected...

Nope, never been rejected. I find that not asking is a good way to avoid this entire fiasco of rejection.

... because like RanD00M I systematically avoid scenarios where rejection is a possible outcome - it's pretty much impossible to reject someone who hasn't ever actually made any overtures. Yay science!

But seriously, I honestly have no idea what the hell being rejected feels like, I'm solitary and reclusive by nature, and I actually like being alone so I've never gone particularly out of my way to behave in a manner that contravenes my innately introverted nature. I don't even really have any friends out here in meatspace - acquaintances and people I'm friendly with sure, but I never just "go out and do stuff with friends" unless I'm tagging along with one of my siblings on the rare occasions where they convince me to leave the house for purposes other than 'gainful employment'. Consequently the social interactions I do experience tend to be uniformly positive, if only because other people are the ones who mainly go about initiating them.

As for romantic overtures, I never make any, and since I'm a guy I don't really have to worry much about women hitting on me all the time, so I've never had to do any rejecting of my own. There are social settings where that might not be the case of course, but those also tend to be the type of social settings where you will absolutely never find me under any circumstance, so that works out well.

Soooo... I don't really have any advice for handling rejection to offer to the people who find themselves dealing with it, since I live my life in a fashion that neatly avoids it entirely; telling people "Don't define yourself through others" and/or "Learn to be happy when you're alone" is all well and good, but depending on how you're wired it probably isn't going to be particularly helpful - some people just need the sort of human connections that I find almost entirely extraneous.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Sleep it off. The true coward's way. That, or I get very drunk and play through Portal for the umpteenth time. Or read some Wodehouse or Durrell, because they make me laugh.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.

My self-esteem is in the shitter, as this being a common occurrence for me, so I just sit and sulk. Oh and I either play a game like God of War until I feel better, or something mindless like Pokemon until I forget why I was sulking in the first place.

 

[Palademon]

I've been rejected once and from that experience I can say handling it involves being fine with reasonable terms, getting on fine as friends, then her lying, then a feeling of injustice, then depression, then lose further faith in humanity, then lose a friend.

 

[PixelKing]

I come in, Down a bottle of coke, Put on really loud music and just forget the world around me.

 

[Dark assassin for hire]

What I did when my girlfriend broke up with me was:
Push my self away from lots of people
Become slightly suicidal
Scream and cry
hate everyone
and more....
this... did nothing for me... avoid doing those things.

 

[WendelI]

I would make a turn gay comment but it's been done... So my real advice here is go smash something of little importance in an isolated place. It works for me it might just work for you.

 

[Mister Benoit]

I try to do stuff that exhausts me and stops me from thinking.

After a 4 year relationship ended about 4 years back I ended up picking up a gym membership and went just about every day for 2-3 hours.

Try to keep myself busy as much as possible and stop myself from having too much time to think to myself.

 

[WingedIncubus]

Pain from rejection? Nah, I just skip to the next piece of ass giving me eye contact.

Don't give them this satisfaction that they can hurt you. Without that power there's nothing she can do to you. Being hit in the face hurts, being rejected by a broad who doesn't know better doesn't.

 

[Sir_Auron_the_Badass]

We've all been through it, we all know the pain. What do you, my fellow Escapers (not sure about the actual term for this) do to dull that pain?
For me, its some chilled music and games. Chatting to mates can also help a lot.

I accept that I was rejected, put a smile on and move forward? That person may be nice, attractive, or unique, but no means no. Also, there are plenty of other people out there I could be pursuing and wasting time being all hung up on rejection doesn't seem smart to me knowing that.

I wish I had your optimism, but being 0 for 10 for even getting a first date is taking its toll on what confidence I have and makes me start thinking that I'll always be alone. The thing is, I don't just go asking out girls just because of their looks (the one time I did, she way OVERREACTED by slapping me and kicking me in the crotch in the middle of school), so I don't think I'd ever be the type to go to bars to hit on girls. I try to get to know them a bit for their personalities and interests to see if we'd be at least a bit compatible. The few times I actually find these type of women they're either already in a relationship, genuinely not interested in dating at the time, or pull the "friend's zone" bullshit. It doesn't help that I'm dense when it comes to reading body language, so if any women have been subtly flirting with me, they're waiting for me to make the first move and I blow it.

OT: Probably sulk a bit more than most people and play some mind-numbingly violent games to dull the pain. I don't have any friends close enough to help me sort out my messed-up emotions unfortunatly.

That is a good way of doing things though. Asking out people solely because of how they look usually offends them because there is more to a person then what you see on the outside. I don't believe in the friend zone, to be honest. I feel it's a nicer way of saying "I like someone else and in reality I am in your position". 9/10 of the girls I know and the ones I have asked about this simply say they'd rather not be mean and tell someone outright that they like someone else, and using the friend excuse is a lot better. Personally, whenever I was asked out by someone, I told them no and I told them the real reason why. When it comes down to it, some people are just into someone else by the time you get to them, and that can't be helped or fixed by any kind of looks, body language, or any attribute on your end. You know?

Don't let it get to you. It took me 2 years since I started looking, from the age of 16 to 18, in order to find my first boyfriend. It takes time and lots of other circumstances can influence someones decision as well.

Thanks for the feedback good madame. The big things that I've been through though that kinda keep me down is that I've been at it nearly 10 years with no success, most of that time I suffered from clinical depression and a sever anxiety disorder, but now that I've mostly gotten over those personal issues, it seems that engineering students at college aren't allowed to have a life... It's hard enough finding time to meet with friends now, let alone look around for potential girlfriends.

P.S. to anyone that thinks I shouldn't be looking for a relationship when I'm this busy should hold their tongues. I don't deal with extreme loneliness that well, and I've had an "itch" for companionship for a bit now that a normal friend wouldn't be adequate enough to help.

 

[Kraj]

Has never happened to me honestly. EDIT sounds pretentious, and for that I apologize.

Guess I'm lucky like that.

Now loss. That's certainly a pain I'm familiar with. /thread.
manly tears, pool at the bar with my best friends, more manly tears...
swim laps a while.
that usually fixes it within a month or two.

 

[Feralcentaur]

Move on and don't get obsessed and depressed over it? (hehe that rhymed!)

 

[Snake Plissken]

Booze.

Booze fixes everything.

 

[loserpersona]

I've never been so interested in pursuing relationships that I've had the experience of being rejected much. Just the once. Took a very long time to know how to react because the rejection wasn't really direct so much as him floundering in indecision over the years over whether he liked me or whether he considered me just a friend. Still, it's been a long time ago (damn near a decade ; ) - he's one of my best friends still - I'm over it - and I don't regret one second of it, even if it resulted in nothing, because the minute chance of having him as my own was worth the heartbreak.

If I ever actually fall in love again, I'd do it all over again even. If it's worth it, the rejection doesn't matter to me much.

But I'm pretty oblivious on the lovecraps so I don't see much of that happening. I might accidentally trod all over anyone else's feelings with my obliviousness though. =.=;;