Ok folks, this is a thread dealing with rejection. Its not a negative thread though, all I'm asking is if you've had a rejection of any type in life that taught you something about yourself or about life in general.
I'll give it a whirl with a High School story that affected my life later down the road in many ways and I only recently realized the weight of that experience and what it taught me.
I wanted to date this girl, but I guess she wasn't into me. I asked her to homecoming my Senior year and she said no, that she already had a date. I still went to Homecoming anyway, by myself I might add and who shows up without a date too but that same girl. I confronted her about it and she took disappeared into the crowd. After that I became extremely apathetic about life in general. It wasn't the rejection so much but a built up frustration of being rejected without any shred of honesty. Had she just said she didn't want to go with me, I may not have been great with that answer but I respect honesty. But she didn't and it made me quite depressed for a bit, which molded into anger and gave way to apathy.
I didn't really care about dating anymore and after high school just drifted for years between non-relationship partnering. I did have girlfriends from time to time but honestly I didn't care overmuch when they eventually ditched me (largely because I really didn't care probably).
Over time I realized how much I'd changed as a person because of that one event. Before that I really wanted to have a relationship with a female, really wanted to be with someone just to experience the whole part and parcel. I basically turned into a type of asshole that wasn't overtly a jerk to the women I dated but approached each relationship with little or no care at all. Makes sense why none of them really lasted more than a month or two.
What I really have learned from that is that honesty is important to me, and I still get a bit touchy when I know people are "just trying to spare my feelings" or some such bullshit. I find that phrase to be bullshit because it takes less effort to be honest than it does to concoct a lie and they aren't harmless. Anyone from family members, to friends to co-workers or the boss, I expect a reasonable level of honesty from. I don't expect people to spill their guts about themselves and tell me everything about their lives, just that if something concerns me they tell me right off the bat as opposed to lying to me or hiding something. I don't mean stupid little things like surprise parties either, I'm not that nitpicky.
But it has made me understand that there are things that I won't tolerate despite being very laid back and chill about life. It also taught me (and it took years to sink in) how exactly to approach a relationship by way of what not to do. It wasn't the event itself so much as the aftermath and only recently could I trace back through over 15 years of my life when the apathy really set in. I'd say it was really only like 10 years but a decade of apathy is still a long time to not really give a rats ass about something.
Thats my story. Yours doesn't have to be about relationships either, I've got plenty of other non-relationship rejections that taught me things and I might share more depending on reply rates and such.
So what rejection lessons can you bring to the table?
I'll give it a whirl with a High School story that affected my life later down the road in many ways and I only recently realized the weight of that experience and what it taught me.
I wanted to date this girl, but I guess she wasn't into me. I asked her to homecoming my Senior year and she said no, that she already had a date. I still went to Homecoming anyway, by myself I might add and who shows up without a date too but that same girl. I confronted her about it and she took disappeared into the crowd. After that I became extremely apathetic about life in general. It wasn't the rejection so much but a built up frustration of being rejected without any shred of honesty. Had she just said she didn't want to go with me, I may not have been great with that answer but I respect honesty. But she didn't and it made me quite depressed for a bit, which molded into anger and gave way to apathy.
I didn't really care about dating anymore and after high school just drifted for years between non-relationship partnering. I did have girlfriends from time to time but honestly I didn't care overmuch when they eventually ditched me (largely because I really didn't care probably).
Over time I realized how much I'd changed as a person because of that one event. Before that I really wanted to have a relationship with a female, really wanted to be with someone just to experience the whole part and parcel. I basically turned into a type of asshole that wasn't overtly a jerk to the women I dated but approached each relationship with little or no care at all. Makes sense why none of them really lasted more than a month or two.
What I really have learned from that is that honesty is important to me, and I still get a bit touchy when I know people are "just trying to spare my feelings" or some such bullshit. I find that phrase to be bullshit because it takes less effort to be honest than it does to concoct a lie and they aren't harmless. Anyone from family members, to friends to co-workers or the boss, I expect a reasonable level of honesty from. I don't expect people to spill their guts about themselves and tell me everything about their lives, just that if something concerns me they tell me right off the bat as opposed to lying to me or hiding something. I don't mean stupid little things like surprise parties either, I'm not that nitpicky.
But it has made me understand that there are things that I won't tolerate despite being very laid back and chill about life. It also taught me (and it took years to sink in) how exactly to approach a relationship by way of what not to do. It wasn't the event itself so much as the aftermath and only recently could I trace back through over 15 years of my life when the apathy really set in. I'd say it was really only like 10 years but a decade of apathy is still a long time to not really give a rats ass about something.
Thats my story. Yours doesn't have to be about relationships either, I've got plenty of other non-relationship rejections that taught me things and I might share more depending on reply rates and such.
So what rejection lessons can you bring to the table?
