relationship/ being single rants

[Captain_Fantastic]

im a single guy im average looking ive been told that im funny,compassionate,kind,smart,unique, and a few others that i cannot remember but i am and basically always have been single the only time that has changed was a year or two ago i was into a girl i asked her out she agreed then three days later she moved to another town and slowly cut off all connections and being the idiot i was i held on until the bitter end.



then once that was done and over with i was chatting it up with another girl we got to know each other the interest seemed mutual so again i asked her out( or whatever you people call it these days) she was then convinced by her friends that i was some sort of closet rapist and they got one of her guy friends to get me to back off THAT pissed me off so even if she was interested i was no longer

and the only others (livin in a small town without much for choice) are a girl ive been friendzoned by and that one im not really upset about and the girl who's ex is the one guy in this world i truly hate basically he had her convinced he was the best she could get and cheated on her by getting her best friends drunk while she was staying in the hospital for something unrelated she is now living in another town

so whats all of your stories go ahead let the world know or at least contribute something worthwhile

 

[Matthew Dunn]

That one who "friendzoned" you
talk to her become a closer friend dont expect anything from her just be nice to her
even if she gets a BF talk to her every so often make her think that she can talk to you about anything
I find that making them your friends is easier than looking for a relationship dont become every girls best friend tho thats just creepy
Maybe make her your best friend over time

 

[Thaluikhain]

"Eh."

There is way too much emphasis put on being "in a relationship". Being single has not been documented to have killed anyone. Being in a relationship does not give you access to some Holy Grail of happiness or somesuch.

It gets really creepy when people seem convinced that they "ought" to be in a relationship, and that therefore there is something deeply wrong and unjust with people who don't want to be the other half of this.

 

[Cheesus333]

I... am not tremendously bothered by it all. I was, certainly, but I've since realised that being single has its up-sides. And after all, I'm still young, I have a lot of time and a lot of opportunities to find a girl that I want to settle down with, and who shares that desire in turn.

Do I want a girlfriend? Yeah, I do. But I don't think it's anything worth getting too upset about. There's all sorts of other things in the world I could be upset about instead!

That's my contribution. I apologise if it isn't upset or tragic enough to be in keeping with the suggested tone, but at least it's there.

 

[HazzaH]

Being single has not been documented to have killed anyone. Being in a relationship does not give you access to some Holy Grail of happiness or somesuch.

I agree, and there's so much more that can go wrong IN a relationship than out of one.

Some of my old friends from high school have started contacting me again, and half of them are pregnant and/or have a baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're happy, and I'm sure they'll be great mums (well, most of them...) but after they're done telling me all about it, they go on to ask me how my love/sex/baby life is. Then when I tell them I'm single, they act like it's the most horrible thing in the world.

I'm 20. Not exactly on the verge of becoming a crazy spinster cat-lady here!

 

[HazzaH]

im a single guy im average looking ive been told that im funny,compassionate,kind,smart,unique, and a few others that i cannot remember but i am and basically always have been single

You sound a bit like my brother, he's a great guy but for some reason he thought he needed a woman in his life. Luckily Mum knocked some sense into him, before he could rush into marrying some crazy woman he met online. But hey, now he has a lovely wife and kids, so don't give up quite yet.

You can start worrying if you're still posting threads like this when you're 50.

 

[ultrachicken]

I've been single all my life, but then again, I'm fairly young, so at this point most "relationships" just mean being best friends with someone of the gender you fancy with the benefit of holding hands and the promise of intercourse if you stay together until you're old enough. Doesn't usually happen, though, because relationships blossom and die within a week very often.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I'm in a relationship with a fantastic guy, and I couldn't be happier. That doesn't mean I'm gonna try to matchmake or convince people to pair off if they're single.

Actually, that's sort of what happened with me. I had an interest in a guy who barely knew I existed. He was sorta dating one of my friends (they went out on one date). She decided that he and I would be better off together, and shoved him in my direction. He resented the living hell out of her for it... but he and I have been together for about a year and a half now; we make each other very happy, and he's told me that I've become an essential part of his life.

 

[Rawne1980]

I've had a few relationships.

I've had a lot of one night ones.

Been with my wife now for nearly 8 years and it's been fantastic.

My problem is I don't understand how people struggle with the opposite sex. I've never had a problem with it myself so it's probably a failure to empathise with something i've never had experience with.

 

[SckizoBoy]

My problem is I don't understand how people struggle with the opposite sex. I've never had a problem with it myself so it's probably a failure to empathise with something i've never had experience with.

Neither do I... though I have some idea as to why I have trouble taking things beyond the level of friendship with women, and it's nothing to do with confidence (crap though it is), ability to talk in a natural way with women, my possession of a pair of balls (questionable though that may be), my view of my self (crap though that is, as well) and how I present myself (... OK, not bad, but still).

Sort of on topic now: the one relationship that has defined a lot of my adult life would've sent many other men running within a year. I stuck about because, effectively, until I came onto the Escapist at the beginning of the year (at age 24, yes, how naive of me), that's how I thought all relationships were supposed to go.

Life threw so much shit at us over the course of six years I lost count of the number of the times we ended up in each others arms at midnight unable to speak because we're crying. Neither of us cheated on the other, we both loved each other more than I like to think possible, we always knew what the other was thinking, we synched creepily when playing co-op, we never asked anything of each other and yet gave nonetheless, we were so comfortable with each other that whole weekends could go without needing to exchange a word... and yet, why weren't we happy?

This is the woman I was so close to raising a child with, she helped me when my life had hit a new low and I helped her once when she doubted her value to me and again when she doubted her womanhood, this is the woman I would gladly pay any price to be with just to hear her laugh again... but why do I get the feeling that we are now both weaker for it all?

 

[Colour Scientist]

I'm gonna stop now because I'm gonna start hurling insults if I don't.
I leave you with this protip: You are the problem. But it is not insurmountable. Work on it.

It is insurmountable. I am beyond redemption. I simply do not have the mental fortitude or reasoning powers required to make myself a better person.

I really have to give you respect for your commitment to derailing relationship threads. You seem to have gotten more effective at it too.

 

[Bat Vader]

The only real downside I have found to being single is the amount of times my family have told me to find a girlfriend. No matter how many times I tell them I have no interest in being in a relationship they still never listen. I appreciate the fact they want me to be happy. They just don't seem to understand that being single is what makes me happy.

 

[Alexnader]

"Eh."

There is way too much emphasis put on being "in a relationship". Being single has not been documented to have killed anyone. Being in a relationship does not give you access to some Holy Grail of happiness or somesuch.

It gets really creepy when people seem convinced that they "ought" to be in a relationship, and that therefore there is something deeply wrong and unjust with people who don't want to be the other half of this.

Uh, actually loneliness or rather dissatisfaction with your social life has been linked to lower life expectancies. Basically your mental health can and will (through stress, behavioral changes etc) influence your physical wellbeing.

Anyway as for the "I ought to be in a relationship" thing I sometimes think that when I see women I'm attracted to, then I think in order to be in a relationship I'd have to like that person a lot and furthermore they'd actually have to like me a lot and then it just seems like too much trouble. This double-think overcomplication bullcrap could no doubt be fixed if I actually had a healthy relationship with women but when you've gone from an all boys high school to an engineering degree and you're not particularly attractive it isn't all that easy.

All in all my plan (and thus the one I automatically expect you the OP to adopt) is to just not think about it, get yourself out there to parties and nightclubs and go to the parties to have fun with friends and save the "Haaaave you met Ted?" crap for clubbing when everyone's drunk enough to think that stuff is witty and when there's little chance of you meeting those people again.

 

[Raideh]

Cleaned.

 

[aba1]

Being single has not been documented to have killed anyone. Being in a relationship does not give you access to some Holy Grail of happiness or somesuch.

I agree, and there's so much more that can go wrong IN a relationship than out of one.

Some of my old friends from high school have started contacting me again, and half of them are pregnant and/or have a baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're happy, and I'm sure they'll be great mums (well, most of them...) but after they're done telling me all about it, they go on to ask me how my love/sex/baby life is. Then when I tell them I'm single, they act like it's the most horrible thing in the world.

I'm 20. Not exactly on the verge of becoming a crazy spinster cat-lady here!

your friends are all having kids and are only 20 :S wow how can they afford a child?

 

[Alexnader]

Being single has not been documented to have killed anyone. Being in a relationship does not give you access to some Holy Grail of happiness or somesuch.

I agree, and there's so much more that can go wrong IN a relationship than out of one.

Some of my old friends from high school have started contacting me again, and half of them are pregnant and/or have a baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're happy, and I'm sure they'll be great mums (well, most of them...) but after they're done telling me all about it, they go on to ask me how my love/sex/baby life is. Then when I tell them I'm single, they act like it's the most horrible thing in the world.

I'm 20. Not exactly on the verge of becoming a crazy spinster cat-lady here!

It's not ordained that your role in life is to settle down and become a people factory for the rest of your life. Go out and gain some life experience and become a parent when you feel like it, though I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. Out of curiosity what socio-economic level do your friends live on and in what culture? Because having kids at 20 is just... wow. Now I get why so many people claim that highschool is the best time of your life.