relationship/ being single rants

[Robert Ewing]

Well OP. You need to break down conceptions about yourself. Because... Closet rapist? People will base you on first impressions, word of mouth, rumors and such all of your life.

It will take some time, but it shouldn't be difficult. You just need to watch your actions, and think, will this affect my chances of doing anything in the future?

Everything you do reflects either badly or good on yourself, it sucks to have to keep maintaining it all the time, but you must if you want to get a girlfriend in a very closed community.

I am not in a closed community, there is a wealth of females where I live, so I have never experienced this. So I'm not really sure what to say.

 

[CrashBang]

I'm fairly average when it comes to relationships. I'm 21 and I've had 2 that've lasted longer than a year. One of those two was dreadful, we fought and bickered and I hate her now. The second ended badly (my fault) but we're still good mates and we still hang out so that's awesome.
All the relationships before were good but were only about 6 months long each.

 

[DrgoFx]

If you had asked me a couple months ago, I'd have an enormous rant over why the only emotional interaction I have with girls is either being a giant teddy bear or a sex object. My most obscure stories is that my ex, the last one, used me for sex while dating the guy she chose over me, mainly because he was more interested in hentai.

But aside from that, I'm generally attractive, or so my girlfriend tells me. I have an outer shell of being cruel and generally stuck up about things, but once people get to know me, I can be a caring, kind person. I'm generally funny, entertaining, smart and during conversations, I listen as well as speak. But as everyone in my closely together family says, I am my father's son at the end of the day. That means I'm generally perverted and have a dark and foul sense of humor.

I currently am dating a girl who I hope to spend the rest of my life with. In all honesty, our relationship is one that just feels right. We stay optimistic, give each other space, love each other entirely and share a birthday. Yeah, I'm seven hours older than her, go figure.

 

[Blow_Pop]

My only issues dating is just the fact all the guys out here are shallow arses. If I want an easy lay I seriously just have to scroll through my gamer list of guys out here i game with. However none strike my fancy. Same with our girls though I have other issues with them. The only guy I'd want to date if I were even interested in a relationship is 5000 miles away from me so....Oh and the fact that most of the guys aren't at all intelligent either.

 

[Astoria]

Right now I'm in a great relationship and couldn't be happier but a few years ago there was this guy who screwed me around a fair bit. He flirted with me at first but when I showed that I was interested he backed off. He started flirting again a little later and used that to get money out of me and when I couldn't give him any anymore he backed off again. The next few months consisted of him being flirty one week then ignoring me for the next three. That lasted about 8 months before I met my boyfriend. He always made sure to not ignore me for too long so I didn't lose interest or hope. Asshole.

People shouldn't worry so much about finding love. Either it works or it doesn't. Trying to force it won't make either of you happy. It's a clique but love finds you when you least expect it, did for me at least.

 

[Dominic Burchnall]

If the OP doesn't mind, I'll use this page to vent a bit of my own frustration, because my friends are probably fed up to the back teeth of it. Just so you know a smidgen about me for context, I'm a 19 year old Englishman.

Eight months ago, while at university, I met a girl. She is perfect. She is beautiful, intelligent, funny, she's a gamer as well, she's cute, she's caring, and any other assortment of endearments that can be cobbled together into a sentance to describe someone you're blindly in love with. We've only met face-to-face a few times, but we've talked incessantly through skype, and we became quite close when I helped her through a break-up. All it takes is for me to see she's left me a message, or texted me, and my day instantly improves.

Only down side?
We were introduced by her girlfriend.

The hammering noise some of you may be able to hear would be me venting my frustration on a nearby brick wall by way of my forehead.

Without exposing too much of her personal life without her consent, she had been in relationships with men prior to meeting her girlfriend, and from what I could glean they were an assortment of cheats, scum and rogues, to keep the language clean. She said that it was part of the reason she started going out with women, was because all the men she knew seemed to be shiftless, feckless and emotionally stunted. And I tear myself up thinking as to how things could've been if only I'd met her before her girlfriend did. I'm not so stuffed up my own rectum as to think I'm flawless, but I would do anything for her.

I know that I shouldn't keep pressing my nose into the mincer on this, but there is quite literally NO ONE ELSE. I've not been in a relationship before, but I have had feelings for other girls before her, although not to this extent. And though certain people have told me to move on, there is no one to move on to. JUST TO MAKE THIS CLEAR, I'm not looking for advice or sympathy from the Escapist community, I just feel better for not having to keep emotions under wraps. Thanks for reading this.

 

[DrgoFx]

My only issues dating is just the fact all the guys out here are shallow arses. If I want an easy lay I seriously just have to scroll through my gamer list of guys out here i game with. However none strike my fancy. Same with our girls though I have other issues with them. The only guy I'd want to date if I were even interested in a relationship is 5000 miles away from me so....Oh and the fact that most of the guys aren't at all intelligent either.

That pretty much reminds me of how my single life was, I would attract all the wrong girls. I could get laid whenever I wanted but none of them were anything relationship material, even if some of them tried. What was really annoying was when they tried to impress me. One conversation started off with her talking about the English voice actor for Ichigo in Bleach. She tried to impress me by saying the fact that until Hollow Ichigo's full form, there are no edits done to the actor's voice, as well as the actor doing both Ichigo and Hollow Ichigo. This I already knew since the voice actor is actually one of my favorite even if I don't watch Bleach. I then one her up with the fact that the same voice actor played Adam from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Kiba from Wolf's Rain, Bumble Bee in the War For Cybertron game and Kuhn from the .hack//G.U. games.

Also at the time, any girl I was interested in would take probably a month or so to getting to know them before they even considered dating me since the actual imagery was a 16 year old guy trying to hook up with an 18 year old girl. Since most of them preferred older guys, my month of having her get to know me normally was ruined by some older guy in his twenties.

 

[StormShaun]

And here we are once again to everybody that knows my story.

I am a single 16 year old guy in his last year of high school, im nice, have good hobbies and manners and havent hurt a single person, ever, for me It kinda hard to talk to girls since because of my last girlfriend and in my dating life I have dated one person so far and I was into another person but it didnt work out, the first girl I dated was a year younger but we only dated for one week before I broke up with her, I dont know but I just had a really bad feeling about her so I dumped her (Dont like the word), but a year or so later I find out that she is acutally a slut and has slept with many people and I thought to myself "thank god" Due to the fact I had that bad feeling about her, still to the day I still think "What if".

Right now I am enjoying being single, BUT I am intrested in someone, its my best friend's sister, shes three years younger then me and I know that is wrong but I cannot tell my self to not like her, I told myself to wait. Also my best friend has a kinda hunch that I like her and I dont know if she knows, but man now I feel evil about this, damn, but oh well, I have all of my life to date and etc.

 

[Vault101]

I think everybody who's ever read through a relationship thread in the last year and a half is familiar - too much so - with my story. I am a pretty foul person, very introverted, not very pleasant to be around and pretty immature to boot. I tend to dominate conversations, and sometimes stop abruptly to try to do that "listening" thing which I hear women like. Despite that, women do not like me romantically. I understand their point of view; not only am I lacking in personality, but I don't have any future prospects which would make them stomach my appalling habits.

I think just about the only things which women have been attracted to me for are my appearance (which I actually don't understand, because I look awkward, childish and slightly asymmetrical) and the most ephemeral parts of my personality - the parts which can arrogantly talk about a subject for hours in a conversation-dominating fashion. Once they break the surface, women always go off me in all capacities except friendship.

In this capacity, it deeply upsets me that people give so much credence to love, romance and relationships, when it has proven so difficult - so far as to be literally impossible - to find a partner of my own. Every so often, I come to the (probably correct) conclusion that I'd be better off on my own, but society has ways of making the wounds deeper. Every love song I hear on the radio acquires a bitter undertone, like the writers are mocking me for being a loser. It's equally painful to see romance shoehorned into action movies, and I don't watch romantic comedies, because it's like hammering a stake through my chest. At this point, I've pretty much acknowledged that there will never be a woman for me, but I'd prefer if people weren't so bent on making me feel guilty and upset over it.

see my problem with you is that your so SET on accepting the way you are...

well DONT, your smart right? then learn how to CHANGE

dont just sit there and whine to the rest of us how horrible you are and not try and do a bloody thing about it

its one thing to be forever alone by choice, its another to TELL everyone about over and over and overt and over

 

[Vault101]

I have only ever had one "serious" relationship so my experience is limited

and in the end after EVERYHTING Ive read about realtionships...here and other places

Ive decided i want no part in this screwed up game, right now Im fine with being single, I mean is just so COMPLICATED

as for the kind of guy I would like...no Idea, I guess Id lean towards somone who had similar interests, but without uhh "issues" (like sociapathy..thats a turn-off)

 

[DrgoFx]

Right now I am enjoying being single, BUT I am intrested in someone, its my best friend's sister, shes three years younger then me and I know that is wrong but I cannot tell my self to not like her, I told myself to wait. Also my best friend has a kinda hunch that I like her and I dont know if she knows, but man now I feel evil about this, damn, but oh well, I have all of my life to date and etc.

My single life in a nutshell. However, in all honest, it was a bit more complicated. To those that didn't know me personally, I enjoyed being single, having one night stands and it was truly an adrenaline rush at times. But those that knew me better knew that I had that empty void in my heart, yearning for that "other half." I wasn't too eager to latch at the nearest given option to have a relationship because I wanted something real with emotion and understanding.

In fact, being such a caring guy I am, near the time of meeting my current girlfriend, I had a sudden want to do all those romantic relationship things. Cuddle up by a fire place, watch television together, fall asleep in each others' arms, the whole nine yards. Sometimes people ask my girlfriend the question "This guy is a real asshole, how can you stand dating him?" And to that she replies "He's only an asshole because you don't know him well enough for him to open up to you. He's a sweet heart to me."

 

[Hosker]

Punctuation, please.

I've never been in a relationship, and I'm perfectly fine about it. I'm not that fussed about finding one.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I'm gonna stop now because I'm gonna start hurling insults if I don't.
I leave you with this protip: You are the problem. But it is not insurmountable. Work on it.

It is insurmountable. I am beyond redemption. I simply do not have the mental fortitude or reasoning powers required to make myself a better person.

I really have to give you respect for your commitment to derailing relationship threads. You seem to have gotten more effective at it too.

It's great. I actually follow his posts now, like a feature. The gift that keeps on giving..

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

As i always say-
It's not my fault women don't have any taste in men!
BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUSLY THE CASE, OR WHY WOULD I STILL BE SINGLE!?
...
*crys*
And if things don't turn up in 30 years or so, you can always hire a prostitute!
/HUGE AMOUNTS OR SARCASM.

 

[Svenparty]

It's because your complaining about your problems on the internet and dwelling on them instead of putting up with the bullshit of going out to meet people. You don't have to have hundreds of friends and be a socialite but it is possible t make a few friends socially.

Also chances are if you try and act like Jim Morrison on the sex front you'll either end up trapped in a loveless relationship with a child at some ridiculous age like 20 or with nobody because of your arrogance. Take it slow and go out

 

[Blow_Pop]

My only issues dating is just the fact all the guys out here are shallow arses. If I want an easy lay I seriously just have to scroll through my gamer list of guys out here i game with. However none strike my fancy. Same with our girls though I have other issues with them. The only guy I'd want to date if I were even interested in a relationship is 5000 miles away from me so....Oh and the fact that most of the guys aren't at all intelligent either.

I've seen stranger things happening, girl.

OT; *shrug* Relationships are alien to me; why would I want to shackle myself to one person? Why would I want to rely and need that person like a hit of crack? No thanks.

Call me selfish, but I like running my own life on my own, without interference; if anyone wants a one-night fuck from me, sure thing. Unless its someone pretty damn special, a relationship would be like being dropped in a tank with a kraken; suffocating and cramped as fuck.

Oh my word. Is the world ending? Usually I don't get a quote from you unless I quote you first! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!?!?!? ok now that I am over it ;] What do you mean stranger things? And wait......what about me? I thought I was special to you *sniff*


[sub]ok I'm completely over that. You have no idea how hard it was to pretend to freak out and be all drama queen[/sub]

 

[Dogstile]

Wait, there are people who don't like being single still?

Being single is great! There's nothing wrong with it. You don't have responsibilities, giving you time. Time to improve yourself or simply do what you want with. You're not tied down, you don't have to consider other people in a lot of your decisions and you quite clearly haven't seen the bad side of a relationship.

I mean, I loved being wih my ex when I was, but its not like she was the reason I was happy. If anything, she was a supplement to an already happy lifestyle. It's not like you guys/girls NEED a girlfriend/boyfriend. You just seem to be suffering from the grass is always greener thing that people often get.

Its not, stop complaining and just enjoy life would ya?

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I think everybody who's ever read through a relationship thread in the last year and a half is familiar - too much so - with my story. I am a pretty foul person, very introverted, not very pleasant to be around and pretty immature to boot. I tend to dominate conversations, and sometimes stop abruptly to try to do that "listening" thing which I hear women like. Despite that, women do not like me romantically. I understand their point of view; not only am I lacking in personality, but I don't have any future prospects which would make them stomach my appalling habits.

I think just about the only things which women have been attracted to me for are my appearance (which I actually don't understand, because I look awkward, childish and slightly asymmetrical) and the most ephemeral parts of my personality - the parts which can arrogantly talk about a subject for hours in a conversation-dominating fashion. Once they break the surface, women always go off me in all capacities except friendship.

In this capacity, it deeply upsets me that people give so much credence to love, romance and relationships, when it has proven so difficult - so far as to be literally impossible - to find a partner of my own. Every so often, I come to the (probably correct) conclusion that I'd be better off on my own, but society has ways of making the wounds deeper. Every love song I hear on the radio acquires a bitter undertone, like the writers are mocking me for being a loser. It's equally painful to see romance shoehorned into action movies, and I don't watch romantic comedies, because it's like hammering a stake through my chest. At this point, I've pretty much acknowledged that there will never be a woman for me, but I'd prefer if people weren't so bent on making me feel guilty and upset over it.

I'm just curious, if relationships anger you so much, why do you post in every relationship thread on here?

 

[SuccessAndBiscuts]

Yay an excuse to vent with little or no risk of consequences!

About 3 years a go I was a no hope virgin stereotypical basement dweller sans basement, I now have a social life (admittedly in the city and I've been at home in the countryside all summer) friends and a general hope for my future far in excess of what I had then (no more walking in front of cars in an attempt to kill self for me)

There is just one slight snag, I'm officially in a relationship with one of the first girls who ever showed the slightest interest in me. It came about out of what with hindsight was probably a mix of desperation and well at least I can learn from this but she just doesn't suit me any more, I've moved on in life in several big ways and she just hasn't.

It's reached the stage where I have little to no investment in the relationship at all, can think of around dozen female friends who I know are at least somewhat interested in me and who I am much more interested in than my current girlfriend and have cheated on her on a couple of occasions. The best part? She not only knows all of this but is convinced its just me being "difficult to tie down" because of my family history and that I really do love her like she loves me.

The only reason It's not long since ended is because she is a genuinely nice, if misguided, person and I really don't want to hurt her after all the good she has done helping to stabilise my life but I've moved on and she is stubbornly refusing to accept that. Possibly it's mixed signals on my part but I just wish I could see how to make her agree to just let me go quietly and not turn the whole fucking mess into a soap opera plot.