relationship/ being single rants
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Yeah. That's how every thread goes. Modest people and people are just happy about their relationship - don't exist. All of them are gloating, horrible sods.RAKtheUndead said:
And, really, even if they aren't - fuck them, right? Shoving their happiness in
You know what, this is probably going to amount to nothing, but what the fuck, I'm going to write it anyway.RAKtheUndead said:
I am a woman, but I don't feel hostility toward you. I do however, feel pity. And while you may find that repulsive in and of itself, it's at least honest. So, I have some advice for you, which you may choose to completely ignore. Normally, I would not really comment, but I've seen your posts in these threads and you must know how you stand out. It may be a futile attempt to stop you from posting in these types of threads, or it may generally be an attempt to help you. I leave that up to you to decide.
1. You know how a dog reacts to a threat? Aggressively. You may say women are hostile to you, but from your posts I actually feel that it is you who are hostile toward women. You have described them as hateful, deceitful beings bent on making you miserable. You sound like a woman hater. Whether or not you think you are an expert at hiding this when you approach a woman, you aren't. We are going to pick up on that vibe. You are going to make women wary of you before you even open your mouth; in your body language, in the small expressions of your face, in the way you talk to us. It's going to happen. So until you adjust your attitude toward our sex, you are likely going to continue encountering this type of "hostile" woman, who is merely reacting to your apparent disgust.
2. I think you need therapy. Seriously. The level of self hate you have seems dangerous. I think you are deeply troubled and need to talk to someone who can help you. I don't think you should bother with even trying to meet anyone romantically until you do this. You say you are incapable of helping yourself. If that is so, then you should really look into letting a medical professional help you. Trying to eliminate all evidence that the world exists is not going to help you. A professional just might.
3. You must know how pointless it is to try to end relationship threads. The human race thrives because people have sex and want to have sex which inevitably leads to relationships. It's the most basic drive among us. You aren't going to be able to end it just by inflicting yourself on these threads. You claim people make these threads as a direct attack against you, but the truth is you are attacking them. You are doing precisely what you claim they are by posting in here. If you think that attacking someone for their relationship status is wrong, then logically you should be the one to stop. Clearly you are making people unhappy with your posts, and you are doing it on purpose. They have merely stumbled into your sore spot, and have no real ill intent toward you. The same cannot be said for your motivations.
You'd almost imagine that you wouldn't trust yourself to know the truth and how everything works, especially with that whole "I am the worst person in the world" schtick.RAKtheUndead said:
The only "relationships" (and I use that term lightly) I've had involved the occasional meet up and horribly awkward silence, followed by a stale agreement that friendship is better.
Don't get me wrong, I've had a fair share of people attracted to me, but for whatever reason, I just... don't fit into relationships. The only people I've dated were those who didn't really speak to me on a regular basis, leaving us with virtually no history or background with each other. Perhaps that is why I failed at being in relationships.
Sure, I get lonely sometimes, but at this point I really want to focus on my future rather than "omg I'm so ronery and need a super hot boyfriend".
It also doesn't help that I live in a very small, very ghetto town. All of the ridiculous MTV-esque drama has very much polluted my idea of relationships at my age.
Don't get me wrong, I've had a fair share of people attracted to me, but for whatever reason, I just... don't fit into relationships. The only people I've dated were those who didn't really speak to me on a regular basis, leaving us with virtually no history or background with each other. Perhaps that is why I failed at being in relationships.
Sure, I get lonely sometimes, but at this point I really want to focus on my future rather than "omg I'm so ronery and need a super hot boyfriend".
It also doesn't help that I live in a very small, very ghetto town. All of the ridiculous MTV-esque drama has very much polluted my idea of relationships at my age.
RAKtheUndead said:
RAK, no offense, but I'll be honest in this post: I'am fully with Megan here - Go. See. A. Therapist.meganmeave said:
Really.
Just ask yourself why you do bother trying to dismantle relationship threads by making yourself appear to be a hopeless loser and presumably making people miserable in the process. Its not because you truly believe to get rid of all those relationship threads by doing that. We both know that.
My explanation is the only thing you are trying to accomplish with that behaviour is trying to get help. You are trying to reach someone with that behaviour to pity and comfort you in the process. From your repeated comments I could gather that you are, as far as I can tell, lonely, sexually frustrated and generally feeling miserable. 3 things you subconsciously try to fix with aforementioned behaviour.
Thing is, I don't think it works. You've tried this for how long now? 3 years? Longer? Trust me when I say, the only thing you have accomplished with that is people making fun of you and bringing down whoever dared to venture into these relationship threads. I think it might be time to try something different. First and foremost this means: visit a Therapist. You might not like it but just weigh it against you feeling miserable most of the time....
Please, keep in mind that I didn't intend to offend you throughout this post. Just think about it...
I am single and have forever been single. Never even been on a date yet. That doesn't mean that I haven't tried, though. I always get told that I'm "cute" and/or "sweet", especially "sweet", but every time I try to get a date, I get shot down. I've given up for now and while I can get unbearably lonely sometimes, I don't think any relationship that I can be in has the sort of qualities that I wish for. People tell me that I'll find "miss right" some day, but I honestly doubt that.
The only time things like this annoy me is when I see somebody who is worse than me in almost every way yet they are in a relationship and I haven't had one in a while. or when I asked one of my friends and I asked her why no one liked me and I still dont have an answer, I mean I know I'm average looking and that doesn't matter too much but there are worse lookng people with me that still end up in relationships
Honestly, topics like this just make me scratch my head. Everyone complains about their problems and the sheer excess of relationship posts is often mentioned. But...in almost all of those posts that I've seen, there's actually to my knowledge GOOD ADVICE contained within it.
So...what's going on, folks? Are you all just too busy wallowing in cynicism and self-pity to actually shelve your twisted pride and take some bloody advice? See kids, there's this...thing. I think most of the people complaining in this topic have got it. It's this horrible affliction that is more awful than anything physical save for super-ebola. It probably has a real name and whatnot, but personally I call it SSS. Special Snowflake Syndrome.
What is SSS? It's the state of mind that many people are brainwashed, inadvertently, into being. It's peak is typically during the teen years and early 20s. Generally hitting hard when, as usual, life fails to meet the victim's expectations of glory and grandeur.
SSS's main attack is as follows: It makes the victims forget, deny, or somehow otherwise NOT understand that, although they ARE in fact unique on a physical, mental, and emotional level, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT OTHERS HAVE NOT HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCES AS THEM.
Someone tells the victim that they shouldn't worry about having a relationship? That it's just as simple as going up, taking a swing and if you miss you miss? That sometimes you do in fact have to change a bit, not entirely, to be happy?
GASP! SHOCK AND HORROR! HOW can you say that?! You're not THEM! You don't know what they've BEEN through! So tragic! So sad! Feel for them! FEEL I SAY! GIVE THEM THE WORLD ON A SILVER PLATTER!
Sadly....Special Snowflake Syndrome only has one cure, and it doesn't always work. That cure is twofold: Time, and Life Experience. Time as in years, Life Experience as in going out and NOT being on the prowl for love, but just going out and living life and talking to people, and learning the lessons and finding things out the old-fashioned way.
Easy to say but hard to do? Hell yes. Do I perhaps not understand what one or all of you are going through or have gone through? No. I may not.
I, and everyone else here who encourages others and tries to help may not have lived YOUR life, but we've lived OUR lives. and you know what? Many of us DO share some experiences in common. There's good advice being said here, and just about every time a 'romance' topic pops up. Take it. There's no Preparation S that you can rub on this problem to make it magically go away.
Take the tough road, shelve your pride and fears, and just go through with it. Ultimately? You'll be better off.
So...what's going on, folks? Are you all just too busy wallowing in cynicism and self-pity to actually shelve your twisted pride and take some bloody advice? See kids, there's this...thing. I think most of the people complaining in this topic have got it. It's this horrible affliction that is more awful than anything physical save for super-ebola. It probably has a real name and whatnot, but personally I call it SSS. Special Snowflake Syndrome.
What is SSS? It's the state of mind that many people are brainwashed, inadvertently, into being. It's peak is typically during the teen years and early 20s. Generally hitting hard when, as usual, life fails to meet the victim's expectations of glory and grandeur.
SSS's main attack is as follows: It makes the victims forget, deny, or somehow otherwise NOT understand that, although they ARE in fact unique on a physical, mental, and emotional level, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT OTHERS HAVE NOT HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCES AS THEM.
Someone tells the victim that they shouldn't worry about having a relationship? That it's just as simple as going up, taking a swing and if you miss you miss? That sometimes you do in fact have to change a bit, not entirely, to be happy?
GASP! SHOCK AND HORROR! HOW can you say that?! You're not THEM! You don't know what they've BEEN through! So tragic! So sad! Feel for them! FEEL I SAY! GIVE THEM THE WORLD ON A SILVER PLATTER!
Sadly....Special Snowflake Syndrome only has one cure, and it doesn't always work. That cure is twofold: Time, and Life Experience. Time as in years, Life Experience as in going out and NOT being on the prowl for love, but just going out and living life and talking to people, and learning the lessons and finding things out the old-fashioned way.
Easy to say but hard to do? Hell yes. Do I perhaps not understand what one or all of you are going through or have gone through? No. I may not.
I, and everyone else here who encourages others and tries to help may not have lived YOUR life, but we've lived OUR lives. and you know what? Many of us DO share some experiences in common. There's good advice being said here, and just about every time a 'romance' topic pops up. Take it. There's no Preparation S that you can rub on this problem to make it magically go away.
Take the tough road, shelve your pride and fears, and just go through with it. Ultimately? You'll be better off.
I was in a great relationship for almost a year.
We gamed together, laughed together, slept together....
and then he dumped me because he felt too comfortable with me and i felt like a friend -_-"
well thats the last time i'm ever friends with my boyfriend then.
We gamed together, laughed together, slept together....
and then he dumped me because he felt too comfortable with me and i felt like a friend -_-"
well thats the last time i'm ever friends with my boyfriend then.
A friend advised me that "You're too nice". Nice to have something by way of explanation I suppose.
The one girl that I find that's smart, funny, pretty and just overall amazing happens to be one that's not as cuddly as I am.
Amen to that sir/madam. Although I dont think they are that complicated it just requires you to know the person and to have open communication. Also (to quote the great Commander Shepard) the trick to baggage is finding someone with a matching setVault101 said:
Now for my problem. I was in a long term relationship however it unfortunately came to an end (mutual to a point). Long term is good but the problem with if they end then you find yourself missing the companionship. To anyone on this thread I say that if there are 6 billion people out there odds on the right one is out there for you. You dont need to look in a specific spot for that special person. You just need to start looking. So how about instead of sitting on a thread complaining we got off of our backsides and get out there and start looking. Nothing in life ever comes easy or cheap, you have to work at it but trust me (and others) when I say that coming home to the one (or if your 21 like me and still live at home) makes everything in life seem simpler and nicer
Good luck to you all!
Most of my relationship "troubles" come from my dad pressuring me to get a girlfriend. He's incapable of comprehending that, while I'd like to have a girlfriend, I'm perfectly fine with being single until the right girl comes around.
Unfortunately, I have never in my life met a girl who shares my interests so it could be a while. In the meantime, I've got an awesome best friend and am very happy in my life, even if my dad (and pretty much everyone else) is convinced that I'm gay.
Unfortunately, I have never in my life met a girl who shares my interests so it could be a while. In the meantime, I've got an awesome best friend and am very happy in my life, even if my dad (and pretty much everyone else) is convinced that I'm gay.