Relationship Deal Breakers

[Haunted Serenity]

Only two massive deal breakers if you try and kill me or you have no love at all. Otherwise I'm a anything goes kinda guy. If my spouse wants to mess around she only needs to tell me ahead of time. (she never will though, shes a one man kinda girl.) but I think partners should let you expierence life and share it with you.

 

[tseroff]

Cheating is a definite no, as well as stealing. Disrespecting your parents without good reason, doing drugs heavier than the occasional joint. (Though I won't partake, and don't push it.) There are others that most people have said already, so here's one that's different:

Taste in films. I have refused some relationships based solely on that fact. Movies are such a huge part of my life that I can't spend two or four hours of every day in conflict with you, plus conversing about them. (This usually applies to girls who don't like movies much at all, but occasionally applies to girls with incompatible tastes. I'm pretty lenient, though, so it's not usually a problem.)

 

[elvor0]

Wow, I feel incredibly laid back after reading this thread. I'm incredibly niche about the women that I end up fancying but there's only a few things that would break a relationship for me. There's the obvious ones (cheating, stealing, bad natured lies), but beyond that, I dunno. I mean a lot of the things here people are listing are stuff that would prevent you getting into a relationship in the first place, not things that would ruin the relationship.

I am also surprised by the amount of anti drug posts actually, most of them seem to be under the impression that anyone who does them is a bad person and will invariably end up depending on you to support their habit.

Even if the person I loved ended up doing smack, I'd stay with them, because I love them, and would want to help them get through it, because well... it's not a very nice experience. Leaving them because they're doing Heroin isn't going to do them any favours, and would only exasperate the problem 100 fold.

But seeing as the topic has changed nature I'll play ball. Although mine tend to stem from pure incomparability issues, stuff that would cause issues on both sides. I'm quite happy to compromise and try and work round stuff.

-Issues with getting blind drunk: I like to get hammered, if you can't deal with that, it likely wouldn't work out.

-Strong anti drug stance: If you don't like em fine, and if you don't want me to do them around you, sure fine, but I like my drugs, therefore I am going to be doing them.

-Really girly girls/ strong "Female" sensibilities: Yeah I essentially like women who are men with a girls body. I want a girl I can get smashed with, be myself, be crass around, and act like I would around my male friends without reprimand. This also extends to the faux equality problem some women exhibit. If we're having an argument, you can't just use the "storm out and cry" approach, it makes the problem worse and doesn't solve anything. It shouldn't then just fall to me to repair the problem regardless of who's at fault. And vice versa, a relationship should be totally 50/50.

-Strong religious beliefs: I have no problem with religion persay, but I am outspoken about certain things, and given my personality I can't see a relationship working with that, as I'd likely offend them on a regular basis.

-One sided sex: Okay obviously if you're in a relationship you can mix it up, given you're going to be sleeping together on a regular basis so you can do one sub one dom on rotation or whatever. But I don't want to be doing all the work all the time. I like to view sex as a "competition" to see who can out-fuck each other basically, more of the 50/50 view. Plus I like experimentation on both sides to make things more interesting.

 

[l3o2828]

i have never been in a relationship, but i would appreciate if we had something in common, and that we could accept eachothers flaws and general annoyances, but worked togheter to make them more equal and balanced...

am i making any sense?

But yeah, cheating, hurting me physically or emotionally,smoking...those things i would have major issues with...Smoking less so than the others.

 

[Akytalusia]

1. being corporeal.
that's it. if they're corporeal, i'll have nothing to do with them if i can help it.

 

[Diddy_Mao]

#1. Completely incompatible tastes in entertainment. Yeah I know it's shallow I'm not making excuses for it. But I look at it this way, if you can't sit down and watch a movie, Tv or listen to music together because everything your partner likes is shit...that's a problem.

#2. No Vegans, preferably no vegetarians.

#3. No religious folks

#4. No Kids.

#5. No Cats

#6. No guilt trips about my personal indulgences. (Seriously. It sucks that your ex-boyfriend was a violent drunk but I come from a brewing family. I'm going to drink frequently but I rarely get drunk. Besides...the worst thing I'll do while drunk is murder a Tom Waits song.)

 

[manic_depressive13]

I think it's pretty arrogant to say "I would never date a smoker, drinker, person of this faith, person of this ideology, etc." as if such people would ever show interest in you to begin with given how hostile and intolerant you are towards their beliefs and behaviours.

I could say "I would never date a right winger!" but it is equally true that "A right winger would never date me." The former implies that I'm forced to constantly turn down right wingers who throw themselves at me, when in reality right wingers probably have as low an opinion of me as I have of them. "I would never date a smoker because I think they're gross" is also disingenuous because it ignores the flipside, which is "A smoker would never date me because I carry on like a precious little princess whenever they light one up".

 

[Zoe Castillo]

--

 

[Mellomi]

OT first, I suppose.
- If you try to control my actions (abuse falls under this clause)
- If you cannot help yourself AND are unwilling to try (mostly, I mean lifestyle choices, although emotional issues might count depending on the situation)
- If you are dishonest with me (really, I don't care if you have sexual or romantic relations with other people, just let me know and keep it safe, please. Gosh, maybe I want to join in!)
- If you can't accept who I already am (unless you find an unhealthy or self-destructive trait and would like to help me, but if it's about me not shaving, then you're gone)
- Or if you have radically different views than I (but I probably wouldn't enter a relationship with you in the first place, though).

intellectually slow- i don't want sex with you to be an act of bestiality.

Now you. I can understand not wanting to have a romantic and/or sexual relationship with somebody because of a mental illness. You don't want to deal with the complications or the moral issues of can they consent, etc. How-fucking-ever: you're going to compare someone to an animal because of that? Why not just call sex with another human being bestiality? What you said was horrifically dehumanizing, and you would drop a relationship because of bigotry? You might want to check what's coming out of your mouth and try to sound like a decent person before trying to sound funny.

 

[Russian_Assassin]

One simple thing: the "merging of personalities" that occurs when two people do not understand what the fuck love is and consider the sexual-o-magnetic attraction that goes on between them to be it. Not to mention the bloody indoctrination that goes on, basically coming down to one person stripping off all that made the other one an individual and forcing them to submit to their whims (seen this done to a mate of mine, we haven't spoken in months because his girlfriend doesn't allow him to speak to me).

I don't need a lovey-dovey smoochie-wookoums liquid shit-stain of a thing going on between me and another person. It is disgusting, hypocritical and disingenuous. Also shit. Did I mention shit? Because that's what it is!

[small]*Been holding this in me for fuck knows how long.[/small]

 

[Xan Krieger]

1) Being under 200lbs . No skinny bitches for me thanks . I would MAYBE sleep with a skinny girl , but never date one .

2) Must not be black . I'm black , but have zero attraction to black girls . Everything else is fair game .

3) Must be willing go give and recieve oral sex . Do i have to explain this one?

4) Must NOT be athiest . I don't care which god you believe in , as long as you believe in something . Do not quote me on this , i refuse to discuss this on a forum .

5) Must not be on welfare . Been there , done that , never again .

Not sure if serious, but whatever;

1: That's weird, but each to their own.
2: Also kinda odd, it's only a skin tone and facial structure, really, which are often discredited by hereditary traits anyway.
3: Fair enough.
4: What the fucking fuck. That's obscene in my mind and you're the type of person I steer to avoid. Unless you can provide an understandable explaination.
5: Welfare isn't that bad. As long as they can manage their money. And it means you have more free time together! Yay!

And I found your perfect match. She lives in Alabama, she weighs 400 pounds, she helps her cousins fix their third gens for a job, and she's white as dirty chalk. She's also a genuine ol' god fearin' Christian.

With regards to number 4 I find it really funny that so many people find religion a deal-breaker and that's not an issue but when someone finds atheism to be a deal-breaker it gets negative attention.

As for my own list:
1. Not obese
2. Not black (I love black women as friends, I'm just not sexually attracted to them)
3. Not affiliated with the KKK (I used to be attracted to this girl but her computer desktop was [and she explained when I saw it] a picture of her grandfather in his klan robes).
I think that's about it. My standards aren't exactly high, I'll want to date people regardless of their opinion. Don't care their stance on gay-marrige, if they smoke (I do), if they like police, if they listen to Justin Bieber, none of that matters.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

If she is extremely religious it simply wouldn't work. Unless she was at least vaguely Leftist it wouldn't work.

If she was opposed to me smoking plant matter of a couple of sorts and generally expanding my mind in various relatively safe ways it wouldn't work.

On the other hand, if she was meth user, crack user, or intravenous heroin user it wouldn't work.

Also if she used either cocaine or MDMA more than around twice a month or used non-intravenous heroin more often than once every few months it wouldn't work.

On another note entirely if she was too white, too black, too skinny, or morbidly obese it wouldn't work.

Other than obvious shit that's pretty much the only things absolutely deal breaking I can think of.

 

[fayfly]

1) Lying. I'm honestly not hung up on cheating as much as hiding it. If I feel like I can't trust you, I can't be with you.
2) Dependancy on hard drugs or alcohol. I'm okay with some pot use, even smoking or social drinking. Not okay with a crack addict.
3) Religious nutjobs, or athiest nutjobs. I really do not want religion, or lack thereof, to be a pivotal point of a relationship.
4) Lack of motivation. I NEED a person I'm with to want to better themselves and have a drive. I'm pulled toward successful people-- the honor student, the person who has a plan for their life and the ability to see it through.
5) Issues with how much I game, or do any hobby. I tend to obsess over things and geek out about my interests, and I want someone who will share that, not make me feel bad about it.

I'm sure there's more but its 5am.

 

[BartyMae]

1. Alcoholism. My family seems to have a disposition in regards to having this problem, and it's simply more trouble than it's worth. Light, controlled drinking is O.K.
2. Drug addiction. The only type of drug addiction I could bear to stand is maybe nicotine in non-cigarette form, (a nicotine vaporizer would be O.K.).
3. Food problems. Bulimia or anorexia, to be specific. I've known too many people with either of these, (and some with both!), that I simply can't take being around anyone like that anymore. There's just too much worry and heartache.
3. Holding too strong of beliefs in regards to...well, anything. Anything that isn't just for themselves - whether religion, (or the lack thereof), political views, morals, etc. I don't mind them having any of these things - but strongly believing that others are wrong for what they think/believe is not acceptable to me, even if they generally believe the same things I do. So, basically...I'd like some empathy and for them to not be too extremely narrow-minded.
4. Excessive lying. I can bear lies when...I can see the reasons for it. But too many times have I seen there start to be less and less reason for it from people who have the habit of doing so - too many times, have I seen others fall into the rut of lying for the sake of avoiding a perceived discomfort - a strange and unreal discomfort self-constructed by them. When lies consume a person so much that I can't tell in the essentials of a person what's real and what's fake, I can no longer take it.

 

[Scarecrow]

No having fun, of any kind, unless it's with me, doing what I like doing!


Sorry, some of the responses are starting to sound like that.

I knew I wasn't the only one getting that feeling. Some of it I can understand...but...uhh...some of it...no.

OT: The only "deal breaker" for me would be being mean. I'll be different from most of these people and be honest about myself. I'm a strange person, and I do a lot of things that might freak a girl out...so I suppose all I ask is that they respect my choices, as I would respect theirs, be that smoking, light drugs, clubbing or whatever.

 

[Angie7F]

My dealbreaker is when guy has horrible text messaging skills.
Bad spelling, bad grammaer, and just bad conversation is a turn off.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

My dealbreaker is when guy has horrible text messaging skills.
Bad spelling, bad grammaer, and just bad conversation is a turn off.

LoL He never even bothered to use a spell checker at least?

 

[Angie7F]

My dealbreaker is when guy has horrible text messaging skills.
Bad spelling, bad grammaer, and just bad conversation is a turn off.

LoL He never even bothered to use a spell checker at least?

yeah, and I have a typo in the post myself. LOL

But you know, the type that does not come up in your spell check like there/thier bear/bare etc.

 

[N3squ1ck]

Apart from the usual stuff: cheating, murdering, listening to Justin Bieber, blablablubb... I don't really mind much.
But: if I go out once in a while with my friends, one shall not be weirding out over it. Also slight overlap in tastes of music, tv shows, games, etc should be there too.

Captcha says chicken noodle, well that is important too.