relationship problems

[novixz]

No, not to hurt her, to test her. I think love is accepting each other flaws and everything. we have talked about it, ... extensively

Wait, so she already knows you're Bi?

] yeah she does

 

[novixz]

I do have proof we may very will be in love, when we started dating she was Christian and I was Satanic, (shut up the good type of Satanic) she is know kinda Agnostic, IDK what we hardly ever talk about religion. I think I'll hold on the tattoo for now. I respect her boundrys, like when I'm doing something that makes her uncomfortable I'll stop, she seems to think every time something happens she doesn't want to happen the world hates her.

How old is she? (I'm guessing the same age as you are from the last line of your post.) If you're both 14, you're likely not in love. Changing one's religious beliefs because of another person isn't a good sign.

Also, I didn't take your post as a "I'm testing her". Now that I read it in that light, I think you're making a mistake in doing that.

And again, you are FOURTEEN (should be double-underlined for emphasis). You're not old enough to get tattooed. You're barely old enough to realize that you HAVE a sexuality, much less be 'testing' your 'homophobic' girlfriend by telling her something you know she isn't gonna like. In ten years, you will be an entirely different person than you are now and you will look back and wonder why you made the choices that you did.

I'm willing to bet money you're going to skip my post. Still, I think that all of us in this thread make a valid point: if you have to test someone's love for you by doing something that will very likely make them angry or uncomfortable, that is not love.

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

 

[novixz]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 8 months, and I think I'm in love with her. (I'm 14 btw :/) Okay, let's get right to it, I'm bisexual, she's homophobic, I've been thinking of getting long hair and I bisexual pride tattoo, IDK maybe I'll just outgrow it. :/ But, it's not a matter of if I get it, it's a matter of, would she accept me if I did get it?

You probably aren't in love. Not in any meaningful/longterm way.

At 14 a tat of any kind is just plain stupid. Don't do permanent things to your body.

Not sure what hair has to do with anything.

As for her accepting your, you should be honest with her about who you are. She might even learn something.

Love can blossom anywhere, I know it seems like infatuation, I just think love is when people accept you for who you are, as for the hair IDK, but when I mean long, I mean 80's Metallica long.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

 

[novixz]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

14, in fact we share the same birthday, ....same as nikki sixx to, but that's off topic

 

[funguy2121]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 8 months, and I think I'm in love with her. (I'm 14 btw :/) Okay, let's get right to it, I'm bisexual, she's homophobic, I've been thinking of getting long hair and I bisexual pride tattoo, IDK maybe I'll just outgrow it. :/ But, it's not a matter of if I get it, it's a matter of, would she accept me if I did get it?

Wow. If you really think of bisexuality as a passing curiosity or a phase, why get a bisexual pride tattoo? Also, only fundie grannies think that there's a link between hair length and sexuality. Did you think Natalie Portman was coming out of the closet when she had supershort hair?

Do what you want to do (except for the tat, don't get that if you're not sure if you're really bi, because that's just insulting to bisexual people. Don't trivialize them). An Escapist isn't going to be able to tell you if your girl really loves you and will accept you regardless of hair length/sexual orientation (which, again, are mutually exclusive). You have to find out for yourself. Sounds kind of sucky, but you have to do it.

 

[novixz]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 8 months, and I think I'm in love with her. (I'm 14 btw :/) Okay, let's get right to it, I'm bisexual, she's homophobic, I've been thinking of getting long hair and I bisexual pride tattoo, IDK maybe I'll just outgrow it. :/ But, it's not a matter of if I get it, it's a matter of, would she accept me if I did get it?

Wow. If you really think of bisexuality as a passing curiosity or a phase, why get a bisexual pride tattoo? Also, only fundie grannies think that there's a link between hair length and sexuality. Did you think Natalie Portman was coming out of the closet when she had supershort hair?

Do what you want to do (except for the tat, don't get that if you're not sure if you're really bi, because that's just insulting to bisexual people. Don't trivialize them). An Escapist isn't going to be able to tell you if your girl really loves you and will accept you regardless of hair length/sexual orientation (which, again, are mutually exclusive). You have to find out for yourself. Sounds kind of sucky, but you have to do it.

My sexuality is bisexual that's for damn sure. She doesn't think there is a correlation between hair and sexuality, she just doesn't like it. (also when I mean long hair I mean 80's Metallica long)

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

14, in fact we share the same birthday, ....same as nikki sixx to, but that's off topic

All right then.

You are trying to 'test' her by telling her you want a Bi-Pride tattoo and growing your hair out.

She 'seems to think every time something happens she doesn't want to happen the world hates her.'

Neither of these is the most mature behavior in the world. And the fact that you feel like you have to test her love for you (even with your declarations that 'love is when people accept you for who you are' and 'I think I'm in love with her') is a sign of mistrust. Not a healthy way to begin a relationship of any sort.

 

[novixz]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

14, in fact we share the same birthday, ....same as nikki sixx to, but that's off topic

All right then.

You are trying to 'test' her by telling her you want a Bi-Pride tattoo and growing your hair out.

She 'seems to think every time something happens she doesn't want to happen the world hates her.'

Neither of these is the most mature behavior in the world. And the fact that you feel like you have to test her love for you (even with your declarations that 'love is when people accept you for who you are' and 'I think I'm in love with her') is a sign of mistrust. Not a healthy way to begin a relationship of any sort.

When I say "test" I mean like a check up. and we I'm not starting this relationship, it's quite "mature" I trust her full on, I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

14, in fact we share the same birthday, ....same as nikki sixx to, but that's off topic

All right then.

You are trying to 'test' her by telling her you want a Bi-Pride tattoo and growing your hair out.

She 'seems to think every time something happens she doesn't want to happen the world hates her.'

Neither of these is the most mature behavior in the world. And the fact that you feel like you have to test her love for you (even with your declarations that 'love is when people accept you for who you are' and 'I think I'm in love with her') is a sign of mistrust. Not a healthy way to begin a relationship of any sort.

When I say "test" I mean like a check up. and we I'm not starting this relationship, it's quite "mature" I trust her full on, I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.

Re-read your post right there.

'I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.'

That isn't a trusting boyfriend's statement.

 

[novixz]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

14, in fact we share the same birthday, ....same as nikki sixx to, but that's off topic

All right then.

You are trying to 'test' her by telling her you want a Bi-Pride tattoo and growing your hair out.

She 'seems to think every time something happens she doesn't want to happen the world hates her.'

Neither of these is the most mature behavior in the world. And the fact that you feel like you have to test her love for you (even with your declarations that 'love is when people accept you for who you are' and 'I think I'm in love with her') is a sign of mistrust. Not a healthy way to begin a relationship of any sort.

When I say "test" I mean like a check up. and we I'm not starting this relationship, it's quite "mature" I trust her full on, I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.

Re-read your post right there.

'I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.'

That isn't a trusting boyfriend's statement.

I do tend to not trust people, like anybody. In fact recently I've had my sister go through my texts and my parent's go through my facebook conversations, so maybe I'm just a little on edge.

 

[funguy2121]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 8 months, and I think I'm in love with her. (I'm 14 btw :/) Okay, let's get right to it, I'm bisexual, she's homophobic, I've been thinking of getting long hair and I bisexual pride tattoo, IDK maybe I'll just outgrow it. :/ But, it's not a matter of if I get it, it's a matter of, would she accept me if I did get it?

Wow. If you really think of bisexuality as a passing curiosity or a phase, why get a bisexual pride tattoo? Also, only fundie grannies think that there's a link between hair length and sexuality. Did you think Natalie Portman was coming out of the closet when she had supershort hair?

Do what you want to do (except for the tat, don't get that if you're not sure if you're really bi, because that's just insulting to bisexual people. Don't trivialize them). An Escapist isn't going to be able to tell you if your girl really loves you and will accept you regardless of hair length/sexual orientation (which, again, are mutually exclusive). You have to find out for yourself. Sounds kind of sucky, but you have to do it.

My sexuality is bisexual that's for damn sure. She doesn't think there is a correlation between hair and sexuality, she just doesn't like it. (also when I mean long hair I mean 80's Metallica long)

Because you're both so young, it stands to reason that neither of you is terribly experienced in relationships. With that understanding, there is a chance she will get over her irrational fear/distaste/whatever of bi/homosexuality and your hair. If not, you've been given a very early opportunity to make a very very MAN decision. Letting her go if she won't accept you for who you are is taking ownership of your life. Doing it knowing how much it absolutely sucks means you're a person of character.

 

[Dark Knifer]

snip

Wait and see what happens is all you can do really. If she's worth keeping she'll get passed it (homophobia seems more common at that age but most people grow out of it, like myself for instance) but IMO if your both fully in love with each other then there shouldn't be a question of whether she'll still go out with you for your beliefs. In my experience, love is when nothing could ever change your feelings towards each other. As long as you are loyal to her then being bi-sexual shouldn't change her feelings towards her so actions like tattoos shouldn't be a problem, apart from you know, being too young to get one.

The tattoo probably not worth it, you'll almost certainly look at when your older and wonder why you ever got it, especially since your not sure what your sexuality will be when you are older. So basically give it time and thought and I hope it works out for you.

 

[mattikarp]

There is nothing wrong with being bi and if you two are really inlove then that shouldn't be a problem to her. but on the other hand, if you really love her then yuo shouldn't go getting a tattoo that might upset her. the best thing you can do is talk to her about it. then when you can actaully get a tattoo. get one if shes okay with it.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

14, in fact we share the same birthday, ....same as nikki sixx to, but that's off topic

All right then.

You are trying to 'test' her by telling her you want a Bi-Pride tattoo and growing your hair out.

She 'seems to think every time something happens she doesn't want to happen the world hates her.'

Neither of these is the most mature behavior in the world. And the fact that you feel like you have to test her love for you (even with your declarations that 'love is when people accept you for who you are' and 'I think I'm in love with her') is a sign of mistrust. Not a healthy way to begin a relationship of any sort.

When I say "test" I mean like a check up. and we I'm not starting this relationship, it's quite "mature" I trust her full on, I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.

Re-read your post right there.

'I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.'

That isn't a trusting boyfriend's statement.

I do tend to not trust people, like anybody. In fact recently I've had my sister go through my texts and my parent's go through my facebook conversations, so maybe I'm just a little on edge.

So maybe this isn't the right time to be doing this. And if you feel like you can't have complete trust in someone because of someone else's actions, well then, I don't know what to tell you.

For context here: I was married to a man who went through my saved IMs and my text messages, read my diary, and followed me to message boards to see what I was saying. That caused a lot of problems between me and him and eventually led to our divorce. My current boyfriend trusts me implicitly, and doesn't go through my stuff for that reason; I feel the same way about him. We have the occasional argument, but I don't ever question his love for me or test it. He doesn't question my love for him or test me. That is what a relationship should be like.

 

[novixz]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 8 months, and I think I'm in love with her. (I'm 14 btw :/) Okay, let's get right to it, I'm bisexual, she's homophobic, I've been thinking of getting long hair and I bisexual pride tattoo, IDK maybe I'll just outgrow it. :/ But, it's not a matter of if I get it, it's a matter of, would she accept me if I did get it?

Wow. If you really think of bisexuality as a passing curiosity or a phase, why get a bisexual pride tattoo? Also, only fundie grannies think that there's a link between hair length and sexuality. Did you think Natalie Portman was coming out of the closet when she had supershort hair?

Do what you want to do (except for the tat, don't get that if you're not sure if you're really bi, because that's just insulting to bisexual people. Don't trivialize them). An Escapist isn't going to be able to tell you if your girl really loves you and will accept you regardless of hair length/sexual orientation (which, again, are mutually exclusive). You have to find out for yourself. Sounds kind of sucky, but you have to do it.

My sexuality is bisexual that's for damn sure. She doesn't think there is a correlation between hair and sexuality, she just doesn't like it. (also when I mean long hair I mean 80's Metallica long)

Because you're both so young, it stands to reason that neither of you is terribly experienced in relationships. With that understanding, there is a chance she will get over her irrational fear/distaste/whatever of bi/homosexuality and your hair. If not, you've been given a very early opportunity to make a very very MAN decision. Letting her go if she won't accept you for who you are is taking ownership of your life. Doing it knowing how much it absolutely sucks means you're a person of character.

*sigh* so it's be a man about it or be a jackass about it huh?

 

[novixz]

I didn't make her change religions, that was her own, independent decision, and I also believe love can be anywhere. Yeah I will be different than what I am today in 10 years, it's like pokemon, you love it as a child, then forgot it in 2 years. I was planning on waiting for the tattoo anyway. :/

Never said you made her. Just that she did.

Also, you didn't answer my question. How old is she?

14, in fact we share the same birthday, ....same as nikki sixx to, but that's off topic

All right then.

You are trying to 'test' her by telling her you want a Bi-Pride tattoo and growing your hair out.

She 'seems to think every time something happens she doesn't want to happen the world hates her.'

Neither of these is the most mature behavior in the world. And the fact that you feel like you have to test her love for you (even with your declarations that 'love is when people accept you for who you are' and 'I think I'm in love with her') is a sign of mistrust. Not a healthy way to begin a relationship of any sort.

When I say "test" I mean like a check up. and we I'm not starting this relationship, it's quite "mature" I trust her full on, I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.

Re-read your post right there.

'I just want to see if she picks me over her homophobia.'

That isn't a trusting boyfriend's statement.

I do tend to not trust people, like anybody. In fact recently I've had my sister go through my texts and my parent's go through my facebook conversations, so maybe I'm just a little on edge.

So maybe this isn't the right time to be doing this. And if you feel like you can't have complete trust in someone because of someone else's actions, well then, I don't know what to tell you.

For context here: I was married to a man who went through my saved IMs and my text messages, read my diary, and followed me to message boards to see what I was saying. That caused a lot of problems between me and him and eventually led to our divorce. My current boyfriend trusts me implicitly, and doesn't go through my stuff for that reason; I feel the same way about him. We have the occasional argument, but I don't ever question his love for me or test it. He doesn't question my love for him or test me. That is what a relationship should be like.

I just don't know who to trust anymore, I try to be open with her, like that time I told her I touched a girls breasts and could have kept it a secret. I guess I'll just put the tattoo on hold and wait to see if her opinion changes.

 

[TheTaco007]

Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 8 months, and I think I'm in love with her. (I'm 14 btw :/) Okay, let's get right to it, I'm bisexual, she's homophobic, I've been thinking of getting long hair and I bisexual pride tattoo, IDK maybe I'll just outgrow it. :/ But, it's not a matter of if I get it, it's a matter of, would she accept me if I did get it?

If she doesn't accept you, you shouldn't be dating her in the first place. (Also, I'd wait until you're a bit older to get a tattoo. Wait until you're like 18-20.)

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I just don't know who to trust anymore, I try to be open with her, like that time I told her I touched a girls breasts and could have kept it a secret. I guess I'll just put the tattoo on hold and wait to see if her opinion changes.

I think you really need to step back and examine yourself and your relationship right now. And in all honesty, I don't think you're mature enough to be making any of these decisions.