REPORT: Dragon Age: Inquisiton to have Co-Op Multiplayer Sex Scenes
- Thread starter PsychicTaco115
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Taco, you really should do some kind of video with these kind of news.
I really want to see this kind of satire more often.
I really want to see this kind of satire more often.
So I'll let Clara do it for me.
I kind of want to know more now. You can't just leave me with, "Co op multiplayer sex scenes", and not expect me to want more.
But, seriously, wouldn't this just be wonderful if it were real? Like, if it were, then I would insist that Fat Bottomed Girls play in the background.
What's funny is that I could seriously see this part:
'*Micro-transactions will allow impatient players to skip the build-up and skip right to the sex'
as being an actual future thing at some point.
"Are you sick of having to say the right things and constantly reload saves until you get it right to get Morrigan to have sex with you? Well fear not adventurer! The new DLC, 'It's business time', adds a new 'sex' option to all dialogue!"
'*Micro-transactions will allow impatient players to skip the build-up and skip right to the sex'
as being an actual future thing at some point.
"Are you sick of having to say the right things and constantly reload saves until you get it right to get Morrigan to have sex with you? Well fear not adventurer! The new DLC, 'It's business time', adds a new 'sex' option to all dialogue!"
This is what is wrong with video games, this is probably the worst thing ever. Someone at Bioware actually came up with the idea of sex multiplayer, they are truly dead to me. The worst part is that this will damage to the reputation of video games and as a whole people will thing less of them and the people who play them.
You're all sick, especially those who think this is a good idea. Bioware will be forever known as "Those guys who made sex multiplayer".
You're all sick, especially those who think this is a good idea. Bioware will be forever known as "Those guys who made sex multiplayer".
They're already known as the "guys who made a sex simulator" thanks to Fox. Multiplier orgies (even if that's what it turns out to be) won't change make video games any worse in the eyes of asshats who took Fox's "report" seriously.Toilet said:
EDIT: This "news item" is clearly Onionesque.
Well, Second Life or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Light_Center were technically probably the first. Second Life was not a dedicated sex simulator though, although it was arguably turned into that, where RLC which came out around some of the bigger Second Life moments arguably was, as the major point of it seemed to be to pay VIP memberships so your cartoon avatar can have sex with other cartoon avatars, and indeed their real money economy basically revolves around prostitution with people selling their avatar's sexual favors.Keoul said:
While I can't find any reference to it, I believe there was also "Naughty America Online" which was in the same spirit as RLC and run by the porn company of the same name. It might have gone out of business.
Then of course while there aren't custom animations and it wasn't the explicitly stated intent, many people have pointed out that "Habbo Hotel" has largely been an sexual hookup place, and infamous for people trying to pick up children there, although it allegedly made efforts to clean up it's act. Allegedly it's infamy in this area is what inspired a couple of the more E-famous (but now ancient) raids. It's also where the "black man in a suit" schtick started along with the whole "Pool's Closed due to Aids" meme, which some people think is racist, but it was actually kind of the opposite. Basically during the raid all of the people involved made either sexed up underage girls "Lolis" or black guys in suits with giant afros so they could recognize each other. Due to poor game design and collision detection they then went into the central lobby of the game where there was a pool and blocked all the entrances so people playing the game couldn't move around, and when asked what was going on they told people "The pool is closed, there is AIDS in the pool". Apparently they also managed to form swatstika patterns which blocked the room, hence the occasional symbol of all the little black dudes in suits walking in that position, it's from that raid.... kind of pointless internet history (which I figure most people on a site like this know) but the point is it was apparently inspired by Habbo being a sex hang out.
I know, I know... too serious a response for Taco news (and several days late to boot).
Actually I'm waiting for a return of the Arcanum-style whore house, but instead of paying gold, there will be micro transactions involved. You walk up to the Madam, give her your credit card, and for the low price of $5 you can watch a Bioware sex scene straight from "The Uncanny Valley" without any effort... with half a dozen different toons to choose from.Ihateregistering1 said:
Who knows, maybe we'll even get to see Dolly The Sheep again (if you asked for something different in the Arcanum whorehouse you'd wind up banging a sheep, which would be running away from you right before the black out)... or so I've heard, I couldn't possibly be sick enough to have ever trigger something like that even by accident... >.>
Never tried the "Bone" series since I'm actually not all that into porn. I did hear they did a sequel called "Bonecraft" which perhaps improved it (didn't know they were multiplayer to be honest).Weaver said:
That said it couldn't be worse than "Custer's Revenge" which I believe had a two player mode (albeit not one where you'd do each other). It was certainly the hawtest game back in the Atari 2600 days....