REPORT: Evidence Suggests All Battleborn Porn Drawn by Randy Pitchford

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PsychicTaco115

I've Been Having These Weird Dreams Lately...
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Mar 17, 2012
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[img_inline caption="It's basically a PornHub Premium subscription" align='right' src=http://www.allkeyshop.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/buy-battleborn-season-pass-cd-key-pc-download-img1.jpg' width='300' height='300' img_source='' source_site='']


Famed midget hater Randy Pitchford came under attack after tweeting a link to the Battleborn porn subreddit. Further investigation has led to the assumption that he himself not only made the subreddit but has also drawn all the porn himself.

"The fact that the Battleborn porn community was formed barely a day before Pitchford tweeted it leads me to believe that this whole thing was set-up from the beginning. Setting up about 300+ fake accounts and bots really isn't that hard, it's just time-consuming and honestly, he has plenty of that because there's no need to balance or fix bugs in a game that no one's playing" said Steve Huffman, reddit CEO.

The quality of the porn also leads to suspicion. After many hours of exhaustive research, many of them are drawn in pencil and not even colored in. There is also a lack of artist signatures, suggesting that they could have all been done by one person or that no one wants to take credit for the works.

Attempts were made to contact Pitchford but he refused to comment on the actual questions. Instead, he simply supplied a link to a video of himself calling the writer a "huge mega virgin" and playing a few string guitar solo.

This is just more bad news for the Gearbox CEO as a neighbor claims to have heard Pitchford curse out his son, calling him a "fedora wearing f**k." With earlier reports of Pitchford himself admitting that Overwatch has the best waifu cast he's ever seen, it just shows that making a game is hard work if you don't know your audience.
 

Dansen

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Mar 24, 2010
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As soon as i saw the title I knew it was you taco. Step up your game you used to actually trick me before. :p
 

PsychicTaco115

I've Been Having These Weird Dreams Lately...
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Dansen said:
As soon as i saw the title I knew it was you taco. Step up your game you used to actually trick me before. :p
Looks like you know how to identify FAKE NEWS!
 

Frankster

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Mar 13, 2009
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The sad thing is i could actually believe this is true.

Seriously though, poor Battleborn, i feel bad for peeps who worked their asses of in that game, coming up with a crazy diverse roster of alien creatures each weirder and stranger then the last, all to get trumped up by a smaller lineup of the most fetish fuel friendly characters, which to add insult to injury, gets praised in some quarters for its "diversity".

Anyways s/he who controls the pr0ns, controls the w0rld.
 

Terminal Blue

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Frankster said:
Seriously though, poor Battleborn, i feel bad for peeps who worked their asses of in that game, coming up with a crazy diverse roster of alien creatures each weirder and stranger then the last, all to get trumped up by a smaller lineup of the most fetish fuel friendly characters, which to add insult to injury, gets praised in some quarters for its "diversity".
I'm pretty sure 2K screwed them over.

Like, "dueling" is a big thing in the movie industry (one studio decides to release a movie, so another studio decides to release a similar movie to try and leech of the marketing). The thing is, seeing a movie costs a lot less and takes a lot less time than buying/playing a game so dueling doesn't really work. Clearly, someone at 2k didn't get that memo.

It is kind of sad though.
 

vallorn

Tunnel Open, Communication Open.
Nov 18, 2009
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This entire article is a lie, Dark Souls obviously has the best waifus in videogames!