REPORT: Giant Enemy Crabs Behind #GamerGate

[scorptatious]

That probably explains why I keep hearing about Zoe Quinn complaining about itching.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Perhaps if we just sat down and talked about this like mature adults they could become Giant Friend Crabs instead.

 

[Little Woodsman]

What??

OMC, the Giant Enemy Crabs were supposed to be kept a secret for at least 17 more weeks!

And with the Duck Legion and the Beatnik Troglodytes of Denver being outed on Facebook in the past couple of weeks, the Great Plan is going to pieces all over the place!

At least the Puppy Mafia are still secret!

 

[Muspelheim]

Ah, I thought I saw some webcrabs the other day. I steered clear of those!

http://images.uesp.net/thumb/2/26/OB-npc-Redas_Dalvilu.jpg/600px-OB-npc-Redas_Dalvilu.jpg

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Has anyone- anyone at all- tried attacking their weak points for massive damage?

the giant enemy crabs must be defeated. we have to attack it's weak points for massive damage.

This hoopy frood knows where his towel is.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

[Img_Inline width="300" height="240" Caption="They invaded Twitter, now they attack Japan!"]http://i.imgur.com/e8ajAeb.jpg
[/Img_Inline]

In a stunning development, it seems that giant enemy crabs have become the main culprit in spreading the viral gaming journalism campaign now called GamerGate.

"I've never seen a bigger outrage against gaming journalism in my time working with this industry. Something had to be controlling things at the top and I found the answer: giant enemy crabs controlling Twitter through hashtag campaigns" said an inside source.

When asked how gamers should take this news, various journalists responded.

"We OBVIOUSLY meant the crabs were causing the term 'gamer' to disappear, not gamers themselves. Hopefully they see the folly of their ways and we can all get in one big group hug" said Devin Faraci.

At TACO News, we take both sides of the issue. We sat down with an enemy crab to get their side of the debacle.

"Click click click. Click click? Click click click click click click" said one crab through e-mail.

The overall effects of such a reveal are still unknown but we promise to keep an eye out for any new updates on this surprising revelation.

UPDATE: It now seems that instead of giant enemy crabs, supposed Zoë-cuddler Nathan Grayson just has crabs. We apologize for the awesome conspiracy and promise to actually research what's happening in future issues. Please ignore the giant crabs.

-TACO NEWS: Doesn't Harass Others on Twitter
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.859866-EDITORIAL-Stop-Liking-What-I-Dont>Stop Liking What I Don't!

[/color]

Damn it Taco, I'm sick of your leftist bias lamestream media.

This is clearly Anti-Crab propaganda designed to help destroy the biblical definition of the family and I for one won't stand for it!

You are corrupt Taco!!!