REPORT: US Military to Train Special Noscope Squad

[PsychicTaco115]

[Img_Inline width="300" height="240" Caption="A quick look at the program used to help prepare the soldiers"]http://i.imgur.com/ZBMTkBr.jpg
[/Img_Inline]

President Obama has recently approved an Army request to take a small number of elite soldiers and train them in a program known as Operation NOSCOPE

"We need to keep our military professionals at the very top of the game. If that means adapting tactics from video games, so be it; I will not let this country be left undefended" Obama said.

When asked whether or not this project would pay off, Obama was quick to respond.

"This project has a low-cost and low-risk investment for taxpayers. I fully believe that this project will keep US citizens safe from the Russia- I mean, Middle Eastern terrorists."

Obama then had Head Scientist and chief proponent of the project Eric Bradley talk about how the project would proceed.

"Obviously, you can't just give someone a gun and expect them to pull off these sick moves. You have to start them off slow; first we start with regular hard-scoping, then drag-scoping, then quick-scoping and finally we have them pulling off no-scopes at a professional Major League Gaming level. The human reflexes are able to pull this off with the proper training and diet."

Source


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[Zontar]

But will there be a medal for achieving the "Boom, headshot"?

 

[SirDerpy]

Is there any report on the percentage damage increase of utilizing the quickscope method? I read reports that quickscoping increases lethality of the weapon to 100% regardless of whether or not it hit the groin/head, confirm/deny?

 

[Auberon]

So... this is snapshots basically? I was expecting pure iron sights.

 

[SmugFrog]

I've heard the candidates for the program have an awesome K ratio.

 

[Summerstorm]

Hm... yes... let me just leave this here

I mean... there are certainly no scopes involved, yes?


Where did your daddy go?
He abandoned you when you were only 7 years old...

 

[seris]

i demand the soldiers be forced to listen to dubstep constantly during training, along with special glasses that distort the fuck out of their vision when they get a noscope headshot

 

[Albino Boo]

Nah the US army is buying aimbots made by Lockheed Martin's Skunk works.

 

[TKhanman]

Will hardscoping be punishable by court martial?

 

[Barbas]

They can get the Super Army Soldiers to train them - I mean, in between bringing down spy satellites with mind-beams and bossing everyone at bunny-hunting tournaments in Counter-Strike.

[small][sub]And why do the IDF wear camouflaged pizzas on their heads??? [/sub][/small]

 

[duwenbasden]

Counter Terrorists wins when you Scout no-scope the enemy and screaming n00b whenever someone uses the AWP.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

i demand the soldiers be forced to listen to dubstep constantly during training, along with special glasses that distort the fuck out of their vision when they get a noscope headshot

Said glasses need to be able to flood the soldier's vision with grainy JPEGs of pot leaves and grinning Bob Marley faces. Failing that, the word "KUSH" has to flash across the screen long enough to cycle through the colors of the Jamaican flag - preferrably to the beat of said dubstep.

Friend-or-Foe recognition systems need to be designed that represent the enemy forces as "Scrubs" and the allies as "Noobs". The system AI must be advanced enough to detect Sick Shots (TM), as well as when the enemy contacts were "Rekt". Sick Shots (TM) need to be rewarded by the appearance of emoticons over the injured or killed enemy's face.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

I can already see them calling up special instructors for indepth training like AncientReality or snipars, of course with a one-week course hosted by Faze Clan.

Equipment: M82A3, dual Desert Eagles with drum mags, ballistic knife, Flashbangs, Sleight of Hand Pro. Rations are MRE Mountain Dewritos.

 

[shootthebandit]

In order to become an elite 720 no scope warrior the training is very tough an its not without its side effects

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Spoiler: Well, the West desperately needs to catch up to Russia when it comes to video game moves!