- Mar 17, 2012
- 5,950
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- United States
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Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Martin Dempsey has announced today that the US military will be using babies in its new tactics against ISIS and other possible foreign threats.
"It's my job to make sure that the United States is secure against all threats that would dare to show hostility. That means using any and all advantages that we have to make sure that security is established against such possible threats. If you mess with the bull, you get the horns or in this case if you mess with the eagle, you get your faced clawed off by the talons of justice" said Dempsey.
Dempsey went into further detail on how best to use these new bundles of recruits.
"People just trust babies for some reason. With them, we can do things that just aren't possible with adults: biological warfare, mine detectors, bullet sponges, explosive device carriers, etc. With a stable population and horny teenagers who don't use condoms thanks to our sex education, we can have thousands of recruits almost every nine months! The biggest military can become even bigger."
"Some might claim that what we're doing is immoral but there's no need to fear. Our projections show that we'd only have to use non-Christians babies, specifically of the Muslim identity. So some Republicans would say that's a win-win. To quote a great war slogan, all gave some but some gave all. Just saying that gave me such a patriotism boner that I could mount an American flag on it and salute it valiantly" said Dempsey.
We also got President Obama to comment on the announcement.
"I trust the fine judgment of our military intelligence. These are the same guys that said drones would be easier for foreign warfare and that the Bay of Pigs would be a total success. At this rate, I'll just sit this one out and let the next President sort it out. I pity that poor bastard."
Look for tiny baby jihads with CIA training and funding to form in the distant future.
<a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8>Source
-TACO News: Leaking Patriotism with his Tears
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.872028-REPORT-Batman-v-Superman-Character-Sexualities-Detailed>Batman v Superman Character Sexualities Detailed
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Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Martin Dempsey has announced today that the US military will be using babies in its new tactics against ISIS and other possible foreign threats.
"It's my job to make sure that the United States is secure against all threats that would dare to show hostility. That means using any and all advantages that we have to make sure that security is established against such possible threats. If you mess with the bull, you get the horns or in this case if you mess with the eagle, you get your faced clawed off by the talons of justice" said Dempsey.
Dempsey went into further detail on how best to use these new bundles of recruits.
"People just trust babies for some reason. With them, we can do things that just aren't possible with adults: biological warfare, mine detectors, bullet sponges, explosive device carriers, etc. With a stable population and horny teenagers who don't use condoms thanks to our sex education, we can have thousands of recruits almost every nine months! The biggest military can become even bigger."
"Some might claim that what we're doing is immoral but there's no need to fear. Our projections show that we'd only have to use non-Christians babies, specifically of the Muslim identity. So some Republicans would say that's a win-win. To quote a great war slogan, all gave some but some gave all. Just saying that gave me such a patriotism boner that I could mount an American flag on it and salute it valiantly" said Dempsey.
We also got President Obama to comment on the announcement.
"I trust the fine judgment of our military intelligence. These are the same guys that said drones would be easier for foreign warfare and that the Bay of Pigs would be a total success. At this rate, I'll just sit this one out and let the next President sort it out. I pity that poor bastard."
Look for tiny baby jihads with CIA training and funding to form in the distant future.
<a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8>Source
-TACO News: Leaking Patriotism with his Tears
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.872028-REPORT-Batman-v-Superman-Character-Sexualities-Detailed>Batman v Superman Character Sexualities Detailed
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