Research Warns of Crazy, Computer-Eating Ant Invasion

[Lazy Kitty]

Ants that eat computers?

I see only one solution.
Restrict all traffic coming from the American continents and then nuke them into oblivion. Sink both continents.

I don't want any ants in my pc.

Better do it before some alien decides the don't want ants in their machines either and vaporizes the planet.

 

[Madner Kami]

If they're resistant to traditional insecticides, maybe they can wipe out the colony by taunting it with a live wire. I'm sure we can find plenty of electricity for all the ants that want to come chow down.

Yup, simple solution: Take a car-battery, attach wire/resistor and lay wire at ant nest. Watch self-destruction of an entire colony. Much more environmental-friendly than any conceivable insecticide.

 

[Dogstile]

Looks like all we need to do is set up a tesla coil near houses. That's easier than any other insecticide.

 

[tangoprime]

If they're resistant to traditional insecticides, maybe they can wipe out the colony by taunting it with a live wire. I'm sure we can find plenty of electricity for all the ants that want to come chow down.

Yup, simple solution: Take a car-battery, attach wire/resistor and lay wire at ant nest. Watch self-destruction of an entire colony. Much more environmental-friendly than any conceivable insecticide.

The problem is, it doesn't do anything to kill a few million of them. To anyone who has been following this for the last few years, they're a pretty serious problem- to the point where the guy that originally ID'ed them mentioned heavily treating an infested lot with long-term pesticide, and coming back weeks later to find dead ants several inches deep with new ants just running across the pile of dead like it was just ant-shaped dirt.

So, "baiting" them with electricity? You'll kill a few hundred thousand or so of them before your bait shorts out, and their numbers will be replaced shortly, or another colony will just roll on in.

The old adage "kill it with fire"? Nope, as mentioned previously in the thread, it's been tried. Burn an entire lot to ash, come back a few weeks later, and it'll be crawling with crazy ants digging around in the ashes. Nuke the Southern US, Brazil, etc. from orbit and glass the whole place over? Cockroaches and crazy ants will survive, and the roaches will get overrun and eaten, and they'll keep marching north. These things are freaking scary. At least they don't bite, but at the rate they're multiplying, are we going to run into a "grey goo" scenario with crazy ants overrunning and reprocessing everything organic into themselves? Scary shit.

We've had some issues with them messing with stuff on our school district's campuses, and our pest control guy being a good friend of mine, these things are a serious PITA. Worst story I've heard so far about them is the fact that they were infesting the fields surrounding Hobby Airport (HOU) in Southeast Houston and chewing up lighting and navigation aid equipment.

 

[Storm Dragon]

What you guys need are ant-eaters trained to repair hardware.

Brilliant!

 

[Verzin]

I remember reading about these crazy ants a little while ago.

I hate ants.

When they're displaced from the environment that had unique elements to help control them, they're like a self-replicating plague killing and eating everything.

Those things scare me. The imported fire ant is ridiculously destructive to local environments. Even large predators need to move if the bloody ants decide to move too close to their dens and come poking around.

you know, thinking about it now, I believe that ants are the best (semi)unexplored way for a comic book villain to realistically pose a horrible threat to the whole world. Genetically enhanced ants. Ants that eat just about EVERYTHING, have a weak paralytic bite, and reproduce at insane speeds.

Fuck imported ants man. They're frigging scary life forms when they have no natural checks.

 

[llafnwod]

Priest: "My Lord, all around the world people have fallen from your worship. They now bow down to technology instead of to their Creator! If this continues-"
God: "I'M WORKING ON IT."

 

[littlewisp]

wikipedia says:

Over recent decades yellow crazy ants have emerged as one of the worst 100 invasive species in the world. Communities from Hawaii to Madagascar are trying to eradicate them, but no one has found a permanent solution yet. Christmas Island is a focal point for this international control effort. It is the only place where the ants are known to have formed supercolonies - groups with up to 300 queens that can contain millions of ants (although new reports on Johnston Atoll Pacific Remote Island Marine National Monument from the 'Crazy and Strike Team' (CAST) from the USFWS have begun to show the YCA supercolony status as colonies are reaching >300 queens in population[8]). These supercolonies spread further and cause more damage than single colonies, and they pose the single greatest known threat to the island's biodiversity. Staff from Christmas Island National Park have worked constantly in recent years to keep ant numbers in check. With help from the Christmas Island Crazy Ant Scientific Advisory Panel and support from the Australian Government they are holding ground.

A strike team. A strike team to try to figure out how to effectively kill them without destroying the local ecology. Yikes.

. . . .so uh, yeah, yet another reason to live in Alaska. Sure, we have cold and bears and moose and wolves, but at least we don't have to worry about all the insane shit that breeds in warm places.

 

[SinisterGehe]

So when will Greenpeace start raising money to save the fireants. From Darwinian evolution. So they can save the environment, from itself. They want to preserve the moment not the future. Which will be machinery and technology so...
Queen of Ants will happen right after the ants get to nuclear silo and then we will get Fallout for REAL!

I have started digging my vault already.

 

[Johkmil]

The solution? Ant-eaters. An army of ant-eaters. An army of All-American ant-eaters amassing among a mass of alien amish ants.

But in all seriousness, the only solution I can devise is importing some natural predator, or go full WMD by designing some horrible parasite eating the ants alive, and both these solutions have obvious flaws.

Captcha: RESPECT ME
Escapist, are you certain this thing isn't sentient?

 

[Pinkamena]

I really, really hate ants. The thought of these motherfuckers not keeping to their nests in the yard is terrifying.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Spoiler

See, the Russians would never have this problem.

On the bright side, the Atlantic ocean and a terrible climate is protecting me from these buggers. Suck it, America!