"Return the slab... or suffer my curse."

[Brotherofwill]

The 'Morning Glory' curse.

1)You wake up with a hard on but also need to go pee really badly, so you desperadly try to calm yourself.

2)When you get to the toilet, it wasn't flushed and a brown dragon is staring right at you.

3)Tired and annoyed you walk into your kitchen, pour cereal in your bowl, get the milk out only to find that someone put the empty milk back in the frigde...but wait, your bowl! You'll have to eat it dry muhahahaMUAHHAHAUAHA.

That's real torture here.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

1. You will wake up in the morning with the words "iPads suck" tattooed on your forehead and a ravenous horde of Apple fanboys outside your house.

2. You will be forced to play Battletoads on 40x normal speed over and over, only being freed from the second curse when you complete the game. Twice.

3. Elevator music will begin playing in your head, drowning out all other sounds. The only break from this will be brief moments of "cheapo company on hold" songs.

And occasionally dim so that the automated voice can appreciate your call.

 

[Redratson]

The 'Morning Glory' curse.

1)You wake up with a hard on but also need to go pee really badly, so you desperadly try to calm yourself.

2)When you get to the toilet, it wasn't flushed and a brown dragon is staring right at you.

3)Tired and annoyed you walk into your kitchen, pour cereal in your bowl, get the milk out only to find that someone put the empty milk back in the frigde...but wait, your bowl! You'll have to eat it dry muhahahaMUAHHAHAUAHA.

That's real torture here.

Son of a ***** thats scary! I aint stealing your shit!

 

[eggy32]

1. They will have to sit through the entire run of Everybody Loves Raymond.
2. They will be given bubble wrap to play with, but all the bubbles will be popped.
3. They will get an itch all over their body, which will, but boxing gloves will be surgically attached to all limbs.


I don't know. I'm not very good at this.

Truly, The Devil exists on Earth.

 

[rileyrulesu]

1. You go to mcdonalds, AND THEY MESS UP YOUR ORDER!
2. You must go to the bathroom, BUT THE MOVIE IS AT THE BEST PART!
3. While walking barefoot around the house, YOU STUB YOUR TOE!
P.S. I'm pretty sure the flood was before the music.

 

[Czargent Sane]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

The Star Wars whatmas special?

 

[Czargent Sane]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

The Star Wars whatmas special?

you've heard of so bad it's good? the star wars christmas special is so bad it's horrible.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

The Star Wars whatmas special?

you've heard of so bad it's good? the star wars christmas special is so bad it's horrible.

No, you don't understand, The Star Wars whatmas special?

 

[Xeros]

First of all you lose all of your sense except for pain, which becomes more intense.
Then everything on the world becomes engulfed in fire.
Third you are granted immortality.

Oh god... Owwwwwwww.

First: Death
Second: More death
Third: No cake

You... You're a monster!

A Plauge of biting ants and mosqutios
A Plague of lava rain
Cuthulu

Knew Cthulu would get here eventually. And here he is, first page too no less.

First curse: All your electronic devices stop working.
Second curse: All your electronics explode when you touch them
Third curse: Cthulhu appears and destorys you.

Lack of imagination on number 3. So sue me.

EDIT: Ninja'd on 3 by the guy above me. Nuts.

Cthulu ninja'd on the first page too.

Kthulu
Godzilla
Kthulu V.S. Godzilla...on your bed...with your mother.

Okay, a little too much Cthulu.

I only need 1 curse!

1) Britney Spears



Cant get worse than that

Meh, some of her stuff is catchy, like 'Circus' for example. If the curse was "Britney Spears not singing anything catchy", then I'd be scared.

1. You will wake up in the morning with the words "iPads suck" tattooed on your forehead and a ravenous horde of Apple fanboys outside your house.

2. You will be forced to play Battletoads on 40x normal speed over and over, only being freed from the second curse when you complete the game. Twice.

3. Elevator music will begin playing in your head, drowning out all other sounds. The only break from this will be brief moments of "cheapo company on hold" songs.

I think you need to reverse 2, and 3, that might just be me though.

The 'Morning Glory' curse.

1)You wake up with a hard on but also need to go pee really badly, so you desperadly try to calm yourself.

2)When you get to the toilet, it wasn't flushed and a brown dragon is staring right at you.

3)Tired and annoyed you walk into your kitchen, pour cereal in your bowl, get the milk out only to find that someone put the empty milk back in the frigde...but wait, your bowl! You'll have to eat it dry muhahahaMUAHHAHAUAHA.

That's real torture here.

Only problem is that you don't need a cursed slab for that. That happens to me all the time... all three of them. Plus there's always pancakes.

1. You go to mcdonalds, AND THEY MESS UP YOUR ORDER!
2. You must go to the bathroom, BUT THE MOVIE IS AT THE BEST PART!
3. While walking barefoot around the house, YOU STUB YOUR TOE!

Every fast food chain, ever, will mess your order up without fail.
I hate that.
I hate that too.
I guess you really don't need a slab for that either.

P.S. I'm pretty sure the flood was before the music.

Indeed it was, I'll fix the OP after these responses.

 

[Czargent Sane]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

The Star Wars whatmas special?

you've heard of so bad it's good? the star wars christmas special is so bad it's horrible.

No, you don't understand, The Star Wars whatmas special?

your right, I dont.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

The Star Wars whatmas special?

you've heard of so bad it's good? the star wars christmas special is so bad it's horrible.

No, you don't understand, The Star Wars whatmas special?

your right, I dont.

This movie does not exist.

 

[eggy32]

1)You wake up with a hard on but also need to go pee really badly, so you desperadly try to calm yourself.

2)When you get to the toilet, it wasn't flushed and a brown dragon is staring right at you.

3)Tired and annoyed you walk into your kitchen, pour cereal in your bowl, get the milk out only to find that someone put the empty milk back in the frigde...but wait, your bowl! You'll have to eat it dry muhahahaMUAHHAHAUAHA.

That's real torture here.

Only problem is that you don't need a cursed slab for that. That happens to me all the time... all three of them. Plus there's always pancakes.
[/quote] Sounds to me like your mornings are awful and cursed. Are you sure you haven't accidentally taken a slab?

 

[Czargent Sane]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

The Star Wars whatmas special?

you've heard of so bad it's good? the star wars christmas special is so bad it's horrible.

No, you don't understand, The Star Wars whatmas special?

your right, I dont.

This movie does not exist.

sure, you can go on ignoring the horrible truth.

 

[The Maddest March Hare]

1. You will wake up in the morning with the words "iPads suck" tattooed on your forehead and a ravenous horde of Apple fanboys outside your house.

2. You will be forced to play Battletoads on 40x normal speed over and over, only being freed from the second curse when you complete the game. Twice.

3. Elevator music will begin playing in your head, drowning out all other sounds. The only break from this will be brief moments of "cheapo company on hold" songs.

I think you need to reverse 2, and 3, that might just be me though.

They were actually switched around when I wrote it, but then I thought hard about what it would be like to be stuck on hold, or with elevator music, for eternity. With all other sounds drowned out by the music in your head. And that's when I thought they might be worse the other way around.

 

[Xeros]

1)You wake up with a hard on but also need to go pee really badly, so you desperadly try to calm yourself.

2)When you get to the toilet, it wasn't flushed and a brown dragon is staring right at you.

3)Tired and annoyed you walk into your kitchen, pour cereal in your bowl, get the milk out only to find that someone put the empty milk back in the frigde...but wait, your bowl! You'll have to eat it dry muhahahaMUAHHAHAUAHA.

That's real torture here.

Only problem is that you don't need a cursed slab for that. That happens to me all the time... all three of them. Plus there's always pancakes.

Sounds to me like your mornings are awful and cursed. Are you sure you haven't accidentally taken a slab?

Could be, though 2 doesn't happen nearly as much as the others.

 

[ineedscissors]

First, your eyes fall out.
Then, your arms fall off.
And then you get zerg rushed.

 

[HT_Black]

Actually, I've got several:

ED Version
1. Offended
2. L.B.
3. Painseries

4Chan Version
1. Zippocat
2. Post ending in X
3. WHEN I WAS

Visitation of Fear Version
1. Fear stops by your house
2. Fear engages you in conversation
3. Fear removes his cloak and reveals (Note: I'd describe what it looks like underneath, but I've only thought about it once, and I spent the next two hours trying to pull my own skin off)



That is all.

 

[gilbro7]

1. All electronics explode when you touch them
2. Duke Nukem Forever is released
3. You are strapped to a chair and forced to watch 2 girls 1 cup on infinite loop