1. You wake up to "Still Alive" playing over and over again progressively getting louder.
2. Suddenly goes quiet, and everything is bright swirling neon colors, focused around a toad.
3. The toad eats you and you are forced to separate his bowl movements by color, shape, and size for eternity or till slab is returned.
"Tonight, you will be visited by three plagues, each one worse than the last".
Originally, it was a flood (which made no sense, but what the hell, I can dig it), then it was very loud, and annoying (albeit, quite hilarious) music, and then the ridiculously overpowered locusts.
So, if it were your slab, what three plagues would you put on it? (And remember, that the plagues have to progress so that each one is worse than the last.)
I would have:
1. Pitch black darkness, that even the most powerful of light sources could not pierce.
2. A hoard of insects, of varying shapes, sizes, and creepyness.
3. A great flood, summoning with it the worst underwater horrors of the fantasy world.
I dunno about you, but I'd give that damn thing back at the very beginning of the second plague.
Side note: I would say "cookie for the reference", but if you don't get this reference, I pity you.
That is from "Courage the cowardly dog" awesome cartoon if i might say so my self.
hmm let me think about them.
1: i'd keep the repetative funky music because it's funny.
2: a wave of fire sent down every road.
3: every xbox gets RRoD.
(i couldn't be bothered to read all the replies but i hope i'm the first)
My slab would have my name all over it and the plauges would be
1.my ex gf naked(fat, ugly, skin condition)
2. Justin Bieber singing to you 24/7
3. all of the above and your bleeding out via pinky!
First curse: You begin to feel things much more. All your senses become overhyped and too strong, literal torture. Anyone who thinks that having really powerful senses is a good thing (like, better sex, or whatever) should read the Well of Echoes novel series, by Ian Irvine. In that series is a character called Ullii (pronounced ooh-lee), who is hypersensitive.
She's only 18, yet has lived her life in pretty much total darkness and constant pain for ten years, since her abilities manifested. Even a candle-light is too strong for her, she needs to keep her eyes closed all the time just to see normally and is blinded by normal light, until special goggles are later made for her. She can smell things from massive distances away, even better than a dog, which is torture when you can smell things like the waste from next-door's toilet, or someone walking a hundred metres away who hasn't bathed for ages.
Ullii also has overhyped taste. She can't eat anything more than bland gruel and vegetables, she can rarely even stomach fruit, and can't even be near strong flavours like spices, because of the smell. She has overhyped hearing and a whisper is like someone shouting directly into her ears unless she has goggles on. And finally, worst of all, she can't touch things because her sense of touch is too strong. She has to wear special clothes and gloves made of a substance in the series called spider-silk, and even holding someone else's hand is like hooks tearing into her skin.
So yeah, hypersensitivity is a really bad form of torture.
So as I say...
First Curse: Hypersensitivity.
Second Curse: Succubi from the underworld come to you and pleasure you in all sorts of different sexual ways. Remember the hypersensitivity, so it's literally a world-shattering good sensation, but mixed with really bad pain, from the touch and from the sound of their moans of pleasure.
Third Curse: A series of knives plunge themselves into you, starting in the least sensitive areas, justb pricking at first, and slowly cutting your body over time. Moving towards the more sensitive parts of the body, and causing even more agony, always leaving you alive by not cuting or stabbing any vital parts. This carries on for as long as possible, until you finally succumb and die.
Bloody hell, I've just thought, this could be the new idea for my next short story! I've had writer's block for a fair while now, so this can be my new idea. In the style of Clive Barker, perhaps...
hey! i remember that episode! god that takes me back...
1. a plague of very vocal gay bees = loud buzzing + constant gay flirting
2. a plauge of laser wielding penguins (any member of the PIIB knows how scary that is)
3. a plauge of shows from the very BACK of the TV channels (like channel 894) that no-one EVER watches cos they suck! and its on all the time and you have an irresistable urge to watch it but you're still struck by the crap-ness of it
hey! i remember that episode! god that takes me back...
1. a plague of very vocal gay bees = loud buzzing + constant gay flirting
2. a plauge of laser wielding penguins (any member of the PIIB knows how scary that is)
3. a plauge of shows from the very BACK of the TV channels (like channel 894) that no-one EVER watches cos they suck! and its on all the time and you have an irresistable urge to watch it but you're still struck by the crap-ness of it
1. Everyone but you is allowed to buy Half-Life Episode III.
2. No matter where you are, there is Spice Girls music in your ears.
3. Hordes of Twilight Fangirls close in to feast upon your flesh.
"Tonight, you will be visited by three plagues, each one worse than the last".
Originally, it was a flood (which made no sense, but what the hell, I can dig it), then it was very loud, and annoying (albeit, quite hilarious) music, and then the ridiculously overpowered locusts.
So, if it were your slab, what three plagues would you put on it? (And remember, that the plagues have to progress so that each one is worse than the last.)
I would have:
1. Pitch black darkness, that even the most powerful of light sources could not pierce.
2. A hoard of insects, of varying shapes, sizes, and creepyness.
3. A great flood, summoning with it the worst underwater horrors of the fantasy world.
I dunno about you, but I'd give that damn thing back at the very beginning of the second plague.
Side note: I would say "cookie for the reference", but if you don't get this reference, I pity you.
Second Curse: Succubi from the underworld come to you and pleasure you in all sorts of different sexual ways. Remember the hypersensitivity, so it's literally a world-shattering good sensation, but mixed with really bad pain, from the touch and from the sound of their moans of pleasure.
1) A song is stuck in your head, but YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!
2) You find out it was a Lady GaGa song, AND ARE HORRIFIED YOU LIKED IT!
3) At that moment, you were talking with some friends that all like Death Metal, and they ask you who you're favorite singer is. You automatically say Lady GaGa, just because you were thinking about her.
Second Curse: Succubi from the underworld come to you and pleasure you in all sorts of different sexual ways. Remember the hypersensitivity, so it's literally a world-shattering good sensation, but mixed with really bad pain, from the touch and from the sound of their moans of pleasure.
Bear in mind that you keep the effects of Curse 1 for the rest of your life. I really should have stated that earlier, but I'm too lazy. So you'd basically suffer for the rest of your life in the same way Ullii does in the Mini-Wall'O'Text that I posted...
That said, I'd probably do the same as you, even with that problem
1: You are teleported to the future where all twilight movies have been made and you have to sit and watch all of them ten times, as you watch every good movie thrown into a bonfire If you mock it, you will suffer permanant 3rd degree burns.
2: Same as above but add it to a justin bieber concert+thousands of screaming fangirls surround you.
Pfff, I'll take 'em head on, as if I had any other choice.
FargoDog said:
1) Every piece of literature concieved by man will be re-written by Stephanie Meyer
2) Every movie ever made will be remade by Michael Bay who has been given an unlimited CGI budget
3) Every piece of music ever composed will be destroyed and instead replaced by Nickleback every "teen heart-throb artist".
If you ever want to mess up societys cultural integrity, this is the way.
First curse: You begin to feel things much more. All your senses become overhyped and too strong, literal torture. Anyone who thinks that having really powerful senses is a good thing (like, better sex, or whatever) should read the Well of Echoes novel series, by Ian Irvine. In that series is a character called Ullii (pronounced ooh-lee), who is hypersensitive.
She's only 18, yet has lived her life in pretty much total darkness and constant pain for ten years, since her abilities manifested. Even a candle-light is too strong for her, she needs to keep her eyes closed all the time just to see normally and is blinded by normal light, until special goggles are later made for her. She can smell things from massive distances away, even better than a dog, which is torture when you can smell things like the waste from next-door's toilet, or someone walking a hundred metres away who hasn't bathed for ages.
Ullii also has overhyped taste. She can't eat anything more than bland gruel and vegetables, she can rarely even stomach fruit, and can't even be near strong flavours like spices, because of the smell. She has overhyped hearing and a whisper is like someone shouting directly into her ears unless she has goggles on. And finally, worst of all, she can't touch things because her sense of touch is too strong. She has to wear special clothes and gloves made of a substance in the series called spider-silk, and even holding someone else's hand is like hooks tearing into her skin.
So yeah, hypersensitivity is a really bad form of torture.
So as I say...
First Curse: Hypersensitivity.
Second Curse: Succubi from the underworld come to you and pleasure you in all sorts of different sexual ways. Remember the hypersensitivity, so it's literally a world-shattering good sensation, but mixed with really bad pain, from the touch and from the sound of their moans of pleasure.
Third Curse: A series of knives plunge themselves into you, starting in the least sensitive areas, justb pricking at first, and slowly cutting your body over time. Moving towards the more sensitive parts of the body, and causing even more agony, always leaving you alive by not cuting or stabbing any vital parts. This carries on for as long as possible, until you finally succumb and die.
Bloody hell, I've just thought, this could be the new idea for my next short story! I've had writer's block for a fair while now, so this can be my new idea. In the style of Clive Barker, perhaps...
Dear god... it's a little early, but I'm gonna have to award (current) most torturous slab to you.
Double A said:
1. Everyone but you is allowed to buy Half-Life Episode III.
2. No matter where you are, there is Spice Girls music in your ears.
3. Hordes of Twilight Fangirls close in to feast upon your flesh.
1. You have to beat "I wanna be the guy" without rage quitting.
2. Navi follows you around IRL, and if you kill her two more pop up.
3. You are sent to the parallel universe where everyone speaks in puns.
My slab would be made of granite.
The first plague would be the slab on your chest when you wake up.
The second, the slab is tied to your right testicle.
The third, your left testicle is tied to the bedpost.
The idea is, you wake up and find the slab. Decide to drop it somewhere so it's gone. Then you find out the second punishment, so you go with it. Then comes number 3.
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