"Return the slab... or suffer my curse."

[Blimey]

Wait, is this for my cursed slab? If so...

First: Hot women massage the body.

Second: Hot women feed me cake whilst massaging my body.

Third: Sex.

How horrific... what agonizing pain they'll be in.

<__>

I see what you did there....

Heh, I'm just saying, if you're supposed to design the plagues some that the person will be motivated to return the slab, sex and massages isn't the best way to go about it. Unless you were being ironic, in which case the joke is on me, especially after my sarcastic reply.

Yes I was being ironic. Its hard for things like irony and sarcasm to come out over the internet

Plus, I had no idea what the slabs were for...haha.

 

[Xeros]

-snip-

-snip-

-snip-

-snip-

Yes I was being ironic. Its hard for things like irony and sarcasm to come out over the internet

Plus, I had no idea what the slabs were for...haha.

You... You've never seen that episode of 'Courage the Cowardly Dog'? I've never met a single person who hadn't seen that. Basically, they found a slab stolen from the tomb of King Ramses. On it, were three insignias, illustrating the plagues that would befall the possesser, should they not return it. Each plague was worse than the last one. In the episode the plagues were:

1. Flooding the house, to the point where you could drown in the house.
2. Deafeningly loud, and annoying music.
3. An overpowered swarm of locusts that could destroy anyone, and anything, and leave absolutely no trace of it.

So my question was, if you were the king, if it were your slab that were stolen, what three plagues would you have on your slab?

 

[Rensenhito]

My slab would be made out of lead with silvery blue runes that glow when the next plague begins.
1. Chains. Lots of chains. They emerge from the skin of the afflicted, and they grow ever-longer. They cannot be cut or otherwise removed.
2. The inability to eat, plus the inability to starve and a constant, gnawing hunger.
3. A black sheet will materialize around the afflicted, so that no one can see their face or their body. However, the sheet will be transparent to the eyes of the afflicted, so that they can see everyone on the outside.

So basically, I'm makin' dementors.
Damn, I am one sadistic mo'fo.

 

[Kimarous]

1. Blindness with one's movement inhibited by dragging weights, the cries of all manner of foul beasts constantly echoing about you, always seeming to get closer, yet are each consumed by a fiercer roar...
2. Razor-sharp icicles rain down on your body, freezing over your entire being until hellfire blazes it off, scorching your skin until the evaporated ice once again rains down upon you; the cycle repeats constantly...
3. Thousands of stinging, biting insects spread themselves over every accessable fraction of your body, be it outside and in, from every single access point, every breach in your flesh you can possibly think of...

 

[devbot2]

My slab would be made out of granite with shaven sheep skin sown around it and then carved into it would be a bunch of quotes from a certain god in a certain game.

Now onto the rest...

1. There would be a giant vermin infestation in the city/town your living in.
2. There would be a plague that would kill all the animals in your city/town.
3. Flaming dogs drop from the sky.

Cookie to whomever figures out the reference.

 

[Xeros]

My slab would be made out of granite with shaven sheep skin sown around it and then carved into it would be a bunch of quotes from a certain god in a certain game.

Now onto the rest...

1. There would be a giant vermin infestation in the city/town your living in.
2. There would be a plague that would kill all the animals in your city/town.
3. Flaming dogs drop from the sky.

Cookie to whomever figures out the reference.

Good ol' Sheogorath.

 

[devbot2]

My slab would be made out of granite with shaven sheep skin sown around it and then carved into it would be a bunch of quotes from a certain god in a certain game.

Now onto the rest...

1. There would be a giant vermin infestation in the city/town your living in.
2. There would be a plague that would kill all the animals in your city/town.
3. Flaming dogs drop from the sky.

Cookie to whomever figures out the reference.

Good ol' Sheogorath.

Congratz, you would have gotten a cookie, but I ate it waitin.

 

[Xeros]

My slab would be made out of granite with shaven sheep skin sown around it and then carved into it would be a bunch of quotes from a certain god in a certain game.

Now onto the rest...

1. There would be a giant vermin infestation in the city/town your living in.
2. There would be a plague that would kill all the animals in your city/town.
3. Flaming dogs drop from the sky.

Cookie to whomever figures out the reference.

Good ol' Sheogorath.

Congratz, you would have gotten a cookie, but I ate it waitin.

This is an outrage! Flaming dogs I say, flaming dogs!

 

[devbot2]

My slab would be made out of granite with shaven sheep skin sown around it and then carved into it would be a bunch of quotes from a certain god in a certain game.

Now onto the rest...

1. There would be a giant vermin infestation in the city/town your living in.
2. There would be a plague that would kill all the animals in your city/town.
3. Flaming dogs drop from the sky.

Cookie to whomever figures out the reference.

Good ol' Sheogorath.

Congratz, you would have gotten a cookie, but I ate it waitin.

This is an outrage! Flaming dogs I say, flaming dogs!

Don't worry, I've got a half empty bag of french twists you can have.

 

[Xeros]

-snip-

Good ol' Sheogorath.

Congratz, you would have gotten a cookie, but I ate it waitin.

This is an outrage! Flaming dogs I say, flaming dogs!

Don't worry, I've got a half empty bag of french twists you can have.

Hmmm... French twists will suffice. Oh, and welcome to the Escapist.

 

[devbot2]

-snip-

Good ol' Sheogorath.

Congratz, you would have gotten a cookie, but I ate it waitin.

This is an outrage! Flaming dogs I say, flaming dogs!

Don't worry, I've got a half empty bag of french twists you can have.

Hmmm... French twists will suffice. Oh, and welcome to the Escapist.

Thanks, so far it's been pretty fun here.

 

[Xeros]

Hmmm... French twists will suffice. Oh, and welcome to the Escapist.

Thanks, so far it's been pretty fun here.

Yep, just remember to read the posting guidelines, if you haven't already, avoid mod wrath, and you'll be fine.

(Don't worry, we all had to read 'em. Plus there's some pretty nifty tips in there.)

And again, welcome to The Escapist.

Spoiler: Posting Guidelines

[link]http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.116826-These-forums-and-you-Forum-Posting-Guidelines][/link]

Spoiler: A User's Guide to the Forums

[link]http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.112832-The-Banhammer-and-You-A-Users-Guide-to-the-Forums[/link]

 

[Revolutionary]

1 everyine around you does not know you
2 everyone looks at you stranglet
3 everyone wants to kill you

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

An oldie, but a but goodie...

My slab would be made of granite.
The first plague would be the slab on your chest when you wake up.
The second, the slab is tied to your right testicle.
The third, your left testicle is tied to the bedpost.

The idea is, you wake up and find the slab. Decide to drop it somewhere so it's gone. Then you find out the second punishment, so you go with it. Then comes number 3.

What if you is a lady? Are ladies in the clear? Can they just have the slab?

Err...
They have to give birth to it.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

That phrase is in the bible? I don't recall any "Return the slab, or suffer my curse" from the bible.

I meant the plagues...

 

[Blimey]

Spoiler

-snip-

-snip-

-snip-

-snip-

Yes I was being ironic. Its hard for things like irony and sarcasm to come out over the internet

Plus, I had no idea what the slabs were for...haha.

You... You've never seen that episode of 'Courage the Cowardly Dog'? I've never met a single person who hadn't seen that. Basically, they found a slab stolen from the tomb of King Ramses. On it, were three insignias, illustrating the plagues that would befall the possesser, should they not return it. Each plague was worse than the last one. In the episode the plagues were:

1. Flooding the house, to the point where you could drown in the house.
2. Deafeningly loud, and annoying music.
3. An overpowered swarm of locusts that could destroy anyone, and anything, and leave absolutely no trace of it.

So my question was, if you were the king, if it were your slab that were stolen, what three plagues would you have on your slab?

Well...um...No I didn't see that episode. Truthfully, I never saw any episode of it.

However with the information you gave me in mind, my revised 3:

First: The persons luck would go through the roof, with fantastic things happening to them for many weeks.

Second: After the person is on the emotional high of their life, a successive series of disasters destroyed everything they ever loved. (At this point I assume their mental status has been severly damaged)

Third: Their brains get fucked with, Eternal Darkness style, until they go bat-shit insane. They spend the rest of their lives in a padded cell, alone with a thousand ghosts of their own design.

Fin.

 

[Czargent Sane]

1. all your internets are belong to me
2. 50 of me appear and begin to harass you
3. starwars christmas special.

The Star Wars whatmas special?

you've heard of so bad it's good? the star wars christmas special is so bad it's horrible.

No, you don't understand, The Star Wars whatmas special?

your right, I dont.

This movie does not exist.

sure, you can go on ignoring the horrible truth.

No he is right. And there is only one matrix movie, and Alien Resurrection never happened. neither did Starship Troopers 2.

but, I loved the last matrix movie. one of my favorite films.

Leave Now. And NEVER COME BACK!

*snarl* wot did you say??

Leave. Now. AND NEVER COME BACK!

*rrrraaaaghggggipph* NOooooOOooOOO!

LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER COME BACK!

*silence*

 

[Xeros]

That phrase is in the bible? I don't recall any "Return the slab, or suffer my curse" from the bible.

I meant the plagues...

Ah. You said that you thought of the bible when you read the title, assumed you meant the "Return the slab" bit.

Well...um...No I didn't see that episode. Truthfully, I never saw any episode of it.

However with the information you gave me in mind, my revised 3:

First: The persons luck would go through the roof, with fantastic things happening to them for many weeks.

Second: After the person is on the emotional high of their life, a successive series of disasters destroyed everything they ever loved. (At this point I assume their mental status has been severly damaged)

Third: Their brains get fucked with, Eternal Darkness style, until they go bat-shit insane. They spend the rest of their lives in a padded cell, alone with a thousand ghosts of their own design.

Fin.

Such a cruel lead in, I do like the Eternal Darkness bit though. That game alone freaked me the fuck out, if that shit was real, my god.

 

[gigastrike]

First, you must suffer through this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmjppNkqszk].

Then, you must suffer through this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmjppNkqszk].

Finally, you must suffer through... this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmjppNkqszk].

Spoiler

Mixing it up only keeps it interesting.