Alright, I know this is pushing it, both in terms of what constitutes a review and what is fair game TO review, but this is too long to put in the ZP comments thread, and while reviewing a review is a bit... meta, I don't see anything wrong with it in theory. And now that I've discovered these forums, I promise to write some traditional reviews in the future.
So, in the hopes this thread doesn't get me banned on my first day, I present the following letter to Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw:
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SUBJECT: Noah's Arcade Presents Zero Punctuation
I promise this is constructive criticism, not a rant. Really.
First off, nothing wrong with a new intro. New is good. Professional is good. Two problems with what you've done:
1) It's generic. The randomly whizzing characters are fury signifying nothing, and the music screams "we're using angry guitar to prove we're subversive and 'mature.'" Most criminally, it has no sense of humor, to say nothing of yours in particular. I know you're self-conscious, because it seems self-consciousness is largely what motivated the new intro in the first place, but remember that your personality is the only thing Zero Punctuation has ever had going for it. So put it out there.
2) It's vacuous. I mean in terms of information. I'm a video editor, so I know that creating whizzy intro graphics is, among other things, loads of fun. But that's an impulse that should be restrained. TV shows need only enough intro to announce that WE ARE STARTING NOW... Get out of the refrigerator and pay attention! Web videos need even less. The unique song selections in the old intro essentially meant the review was starting from second 01. Now we have to sit through a full 17 seconds before getting any new content. This isn't going to "grow on" anybody in a few weeks, because in a few weeks we'll all be tuning it out/skipping past it/grabbing a soda... and nobody will care anymore about all the hard work you went to.
By way of suggestions, I just want to share something user Altorin posted in the LEGO Indy review forum: "I really liked ... the simplicity of just seeing yahtzee holding a controller with a look of hopeful confusion." I love that sentiment. Maybe 'confusion' is the wrong word, but 'hopeful' is spot on. Another good phrase would be 'quiet resignation.' Your new intro, with its rather violent visual barrage, gives the impression that you are an angry reviewer wandering the countryside with your big reviewing hammer, looking for unworthy games to prey upon. But I have in the past felt as if you want to be a gentle soul - that you aren't looking for a fight but are just trying to enjoy yourself - and that the games themselves are the bad guys. They are the ones that suck, that are humiliating you, angering you, and otherwise doing everything possible to spoil your good mood (with humorously successful results). And yet you soldier on, sitting down before each review with controller held lightly in hand, face blank because it can't choose between apprehension and cautious optimism, as if to say, "Well, here goes nothing..." Sort of the way Wile E. Coyote looks right before he pushes the operation button on his latest ACME purchase. I want to avoid the temptation to suggest a new form for your intro - but I hope you'll keep these images in mind while considering the appropriate tone it should set.
Thanks for reading (assuming you did). Long time, first time and all that.
-[name]
P.S. Nope, I can't avoid temptation. I think you should keep the new music for the outro, but use something jauntier for the intro over top an animated scene that varies each week ala the Simpsons' couch gags. The Colonel Bogey March comes to mind, but I didn't mention that earlier for fear it would invalidate all my other opinions.
P.P.S. It occurs to me that, being British and younger than me, there is a possibility you might not get the joke in my subject line. Oh well.
So, in the hopes this thread doesn't get me banned on my first day, I present the following letter to Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw:
----------
SUBJECT: Noah's Arcade Presents Zero Punctuation
I promise this is constructive criticism, not a rant. Really.
First off, nothing wrong with a new intro. New is good. Professional is good. Two problems with what you've done:
1) It's generic. The randomly whizzing characters are fury signifying nothing, and the music screams "we're using angry guitar to prove we're subversive and 'mature.'" Most criminally, it has no sense of humor, to say nothing of yours in particular. I know you're self-conscious, because it seems self-consciousness is largely what motivated the new intro in the first place, but remember that your personality is the only thing Zero Punctuation has ever had going for it. So put it out there.
2) It's vacuous. I mean in terms of information. I'm a video editor, so I know that creating whizzy intro graphics is, among other things, loads of fun. But that's an impulse that should be restrained. TV shows need only enough intro to announce that WE ARE STARTING NOW... Get out of the refrigerator and pay attention! Web videos need even less. The unique song selections in the old intro essentially meant the review was starting from second 01. Now we have to sit through a full 17 seconds before getting any new content. This isn't going to "grow on" anybody in a few weeks, because in a few weeks we'll all be tuning it out/skipping past it/grabbing a soda... and nobody will care anymore about all the hard work you went to.
By way of suggestions, I just want to share something user Altorin posted in the LEGO Indy review forum: "I really liked ... the simplicity of just seeing yahtzee holding a controller with a look of hopeful confusion." I love that sentiment. Maybe 'confusion' is the wrong word, but 'hopeful' is spot on. Another good phrase would be 'quiet resignation.' Your new intro, with its rather violent visual barrage, gives the impression that you are an angry reviewer wandering the countryside with your big reviewing hammer, looking for unworthy games to prey upon. But I have in the past felt as if you want to be a gentle soul - that you aren't looking for a fight but are just trying to enjoy yourself - and that the games themselves are the bad guys. They are the ones that suck, that are humiliating you, angering you, and otherwise doing everything possible to spoil your good mood (with humorously successful results). And yet you soldier on, sitting down before each review with controller held lightly in hand, face blank because it can't choose between apprehension and cautious optimism, as if to say, "Well, here goes nothing..." Sort of the way Wile E. Coyote looks right before he pushes the operation button on his latest ACME purchase. I want to avoid the temptation to suggest a new form for your intro - but I hope you'll keep these images in mind while considering the appropriate tone it should set.
Thanks for reading (assuming you did). Long time, first time and all that.
-[name]
P.S. Nope, I can't avoid temptation. I think you should keep the new music for the outro, but use something jauntier for the intro over top an animated scene that varies each week ala the Simpsons' couch gags. The Colonel Bogey March comes to mind, but I didn't mention that earlier for fear it would invalidate all my other opinions.
P.P.S. It occurs to me that, being British and younger than me, there is a possibility you might not get the joke in my subject line. Oh well.
