Rip Apart A Movie, ANY MOVIE

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cojo965

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Jul 28, 2012
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Just do what the thread title says. I had done mine on The Giant Behemoth but Internet Explorer crapped out and I lost my work so I will sum up the movie's quality in one scene. At one point the behemoth flips over a car ferry cool, great, a must have scene. Unfortunately, it falls apart in the effects, namely it looks like how someone would hoax a Loch Ness Monster attack. Throughout the scene you keep seeing the fucking platform that is holding the monster's head and neck up.

P.S. Marter you are exempt by doing this on a daily basis.
 

ChupathingyX

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Jun 8, 2010
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The Last Airbender

*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why do most of the cast members have the opposite complexion of their character from the show?
*Why doesn't Zhao have awesome sideburns?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why can't all firebenders produce fire by themselves?
*Why are the earthbenders dancing?
*Why isn't Iroh fat?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why does Princess Yue's hair look like a penis?
*Why is Ozai in this film?
*Why does this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU1hYgGcosA] exist?
*Why does this film exist?
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
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Happy Feet<- an example of "preachy"

first off the penguins are done realisticly, the bad thing about realistic animals is we have trouble telling them apart, so the film makers sis certain things to make then more recognizable...which brings us to the horror that is our main protagonist

[spoiler/]
[http://imgur.com/VReGp][/spoiler]
because thats seriously what it looks like to me...

that and the plot is too ill fitting halfs, I mean the "enviroment" half is just so...stupid
 

Ruedyn

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Jun 29, 2011
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ChupathingyX said:
The Last Airbender

*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why do most of the cast members have the opposite complexion of their character from the show?
*Why doesn't Zhao have awesome sideburns?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why can't all firebenders produce fire by themselves?
*Why are the earthbenders dancing?
*Why isn't Iroh fat?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why does Princess Yue's hair look like a penis?
*Why is Ozai in this film?
*Why does this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU1hYgGcosA] exist?
*Why does this film exist?
Yeah, Shamallamamama shouldn't have been let near that. Also you stole my choice.
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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Vault101 said:
ChupathingyX said:
more to the point why the hell did shamalamanananalananana-whatever his name is get to direct it?
I believe it is pronounced Shame-llama.
On an unrelated note, I have just now spotted an animation error in your avatar with the cloud continuity and now I can't unsee it. The horror!

OT: So... about Scorpion King 3...
I kid of course, this forum is a dictatorship when it comes to contrary opinions to this particular film. But I feel like giving Marter that second of shock was worth it if he should ever stumble into here.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
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Quaxar said:
Vault101 said:
ChupathingyX said:
more to the point why the hell did shamalamanananalananana-whatever his name is get to direct it?
I believe it is pronounced Shame-llama.
On an unrelated note, I have just now spotted an animation error in your avatar with the cloud continuity and now I can't unsee it. The horror!
.
*sigh* I know but the whole process was so long I was like "fuck it"
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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Vault101 said:
Quaxar said:
Vault101 said:
ChupathingyX said:
more to the point why the hell did shamalamanananalananana-whatever his name is get to direct it?
I believe it is pronounced Shame-llama.
On an unrelated note, I have just now spotted an animation error in your avatar with the cloud continuity and now I can't unsee it. The horror!
.
*sigh* I know but the whole process was so long I was like "fuck it"
I'm not complaining, I just... noticed.
Plus I too much enjoy the Daystar camouflage every time I see it to protest.
 

lechat

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Dec 5, 2012
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inception
the movie revolves around dreams but the most interesting concept they could come up with is "it's like real life but with more explosions and ppl shooting at you.... also sometimes we can like bend streets and shit"

seriously when was the last time someone described a dream to you and it didn't sound like this
man i had a weird dream last night. i was on a rollar coaster but it was made out gummie bears. at first i thought it was disney land but then i realized i was it was actually my old high school. then i looked down and found my feet were being eaten by tiny pink glitter dragons but they told me they were helping me discover the entrance to a secret passage so i patted them and started flying

way to fail inception
 

mechashiva77

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Jul 10, 2011
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Is it time for me to Rip on "40 Days and 40 Nights" again? I do believe it is! Now in nice list format like ChupathingX!

*Insults men and women alike.
*Insults people who sleep around and celibate/chaste people alike
*The Girlfriend has sex with the Male Protagonist without his consent (in his sleep) to win a bet
*Male Protagonist has to APOLOGIZE for being raped.
*Has the stupid ass fucking thing in Romantic Comedies where the guy "messes up" and has to win back the girl.
*The ***** girlfriend gets away with raping her boyfriend. No really. She fucking saunters off into the Sunset with the money she got from the bet.

Captcha: "pleased as punch"

Captcha why do you mock me so?
 

BloatedGuppy

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Feb 3, 2010
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Hmm. Okay.

Scott Pilgrim sucked. I'm a big fan of the graphic novels, and absolutely none of their spirit, wit or charm comes across in the plonker of a film. Many major themes...arguably even primary themes...are completely abandoned, so the film can focus on the colorful video game and geek culture allusions. Significant characters have their roles vastly reduced, and others have their roles inexplicably expanded (Knives, most particularly). Cera is dreadful as Scott, playing him as a cringing, socially awkward dork (shocking, I know) instead of the charming, affable slacker he was in the books. The pacing is atrocious, as could be expected given how much material is being crammed into the short running time, resulting in long story lines being cut into a few tiny scenes, losing much if not all of their depth and resonance. Most criminally, the film often fails at comedic timing...some scenes and lines are lifted directly from the book but come across extremely flat on screen.

Seriously, I could go on and on. I generally enjoy Edgar Wright, but this is not a good outing for him, and it's not a good movie, period. I see people list it as one of their favorite films from time to time, and I'm honestly left wondering what the fuck those people are thinking. I do understand that everyone has their own favorite things for their own personal reasons, but I don't expect to see "Dude, Where's My Car" in a lot of top ten lists, and I'm just as shocked when I see Scott Pilgrim in there.

It stinks.

Seriously, it's really, really bad.
 

Flamezdudes

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Aug 27, 2009
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BloatedGuppy said:
Hmm. Okay.

Scott Pilgrim sucked. I'm a big fan of the graphic novels, and absolutely none of their spirit, wit or charm comes across in the plonker of a film. Many major themes...arguably even primary themes...are completely abandoned, so the film can focus on the colorful video game and geek culture allusions. Significant characters have their roles vastly reduced, and others have their roles inexplicably expanded (Knives, most particularly). Cera is dreadful as Scott, playing him as a cringing, socially awkward dork (shocking, I know) instead of the charming, affable slacker he was in the books. The pacing is atrocious, as could be expected given how much material is being crammed into the short running time, resulting in long story lines being cut into a few tiny scenes, losing much if not all of their depth and resonance. Most criminally, the film often fails at comedic timing...some scenes and lines are lifted directly from the book but come across extremely flat on screen.

Seriously, I could go on and on. I generally enjoy Edgar Wright, but this is not a good outing for him, and it's not a good movie, period. I see people list it as one of their favorite films from time to time, and I'm honestly left wondering what the fuck those people are thinking. I do understand that everyone has their own favorite things for their own personal reasons, but I don't expect to see "Dude, Where's My Car" in a lot of top ten lists, and I'm just as shocked when I see Scott Pilgrim in there.

It stinks.

Seriously, it's really, really bad.
On the contrary, I really enjoyed both the film and the graphic novels. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
 

NightmareWarden

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Jul 2, 2011
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Brave. I went into that movie expecting it would be a good version of the story for Shrek 4 forever after. I was disappointed, but I that was an unrealistic expectation.

-Merida has the strength to prove her point, the competence and even the confidence to support her views, yet she always decides to storm off at important moments. This is proven when she stands out in the archery competition as well as whenever she is arguing with her mother. Other than when she is acting as a distraction for her transformed mother, she always just storms off rather than explain her point. She has no...followup. She is willing to push that poor witch to get what she wants, yet that is only so she can actively void her mother as a factor.

-The Queen is a stubborn hypocrite; she wants the best for her daughter, however she is letting other lords control her daughter's life and she attempted to destroy a beloved gift from her husband to her daughter.

-The King is a weak man. He hides it with war stories and a happy attitude, but he refuses to stand up to his wife nor will he stand up for his daughter. The king, the man with the BIGGEST control over his daughter's fate, is just pitiful. He flat out ignores his daughter's cries and attempts to kill a bear rather than search for his ill wife.

-Don't even get me started on the three princes that everyone ignores.
 

klown

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Jun 6, 2012
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ChupathingyX said:
The Last Airbender

*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why do most of the cast members have the opposite complexion of their character from the show?
*Why doesn't Zhao have awesome sideburns?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why can't all firebenders produce fire by themselves? Because harnessing the heat from within your body is hard work, and within the movie, is a master skill.
*Why are the earthbenders dancing?
*Why isn't Iroh fat?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why does Princess Yue's hair look like a penis?
*Why is Ozai in this film? The very last episode of the book of water does have Ozai at the end doing the exact same thing, setting up the book of earth.
*Why does this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU1hYgGcosA] exist?
*Why does this film exist? Because it would be a good movie if someone else was at the helm, and they gave it two movies per book.
Don't get me wrong, I hate this movie, but a couple of the questions you ask are answered within the movie.
 

Marter

Elite Member
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Oct 27, 2009
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Quaxar said:
OT: So... about Scorpion King 3...
I kid of course, this forum is a dictatorship when it comes to contrary opinions to this particular film. But I feel like giving Marter that second of shock was worth it if he should ever stumble into here.
I did have a mini heart attack when I was reading through the thread and totally not participating because apparently I've been barred from doing so.

I love how "stumble" was the word you used. Very fitting. :)
 

Itdoesthatsometimes

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Aug 6, 2012
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Three horror films

Saw-It has been awhile since I watched it. This is from what I can remember about it. It would have been a fine one act play with two actors and a third person to get up at the end. Fine, thought provoking. As a movie, however, it was padded for time. By Padded I mean everything that took place outside of that room. By time I mean any excuse to make sequels. Fine, thought provoking story in the room, inane sequel bait outside of it. You know what this fine set of tits need...cheeseburgers! Inane

Nightmare on Elm Street (not that one, the remake)-What is scariest name in horror...Fred Kruger...Wes craven...no silly, it's Michael Bay. This should have been a no brainer, Freddy kills teens gets sequels. The movie threw in a twist. Freddy may have been wrongly accused and murdered. Oh, you mean Fred was innocent, well no wonder he has reserected in the dreams of his tormentor's children. Who would not, honestly. Maybe I can root for this Freddy after all. Nope, he was a pedophile. Goodbye sequels, I can root for a mass murdering dream invader, but pedophile. Maybe I ought to thank Micheal Bay for this film, with it's clear point of existence being to provoke a global discussion as to the discrepancies in thought within ones own perception towards one horrific act on another person versus another horrific act. Wait no that was saw. Now I am just putting tits on cheeseburgers.

Halloween II (again the remake)-...What?
 

CommanderL

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May 12, 2011
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ChupathingyX said:
The Last Airbender

*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why do most of the cast members have the opposite complexion of their character from the show?
*Why doesn't Zhao have awesome sideburns?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why can't all firebenders produce fire by themselves?
*Why are the earthbenders dancing?
*Why isn't Iroh fat?
*Why are the characters' names pronounced differently?
*Why does Princess Yue's hair look like a penis?
*Why is Ozai in this film?
*Why does this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU1hYgGcosA] exist?
*Why does this film exist?
* WHY DID THE FIRE NATION HAVE THE EARTH BENDER PRISONER IN A PRISON MADE OF EARTH AND WHY DIDNT THE EARTH BENDER"S ESCAPE
*why did mknight shamamamamlamdingong change the way bending work it was fine the way it is
*why is aang a moody teen and why is he called ung
*why is sokka so dull
*why is katara so horrible
 

Fortunes_Friend

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Mar 29, 2012
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1. Hostel - Why? Enough said...

2. All the Dr. Dolittle movies - Eddy Murphy is capable of making me so nervous that I could run out of the movie theater. Besides after the first movie (which was the least horrible one) the plot becomes even worse and cheesier. I simply don't like them. -.-

3. I have to go with that too:

Itdoesthatsometimes said:
Saw-It has been awhile since I watched it. This is from what I can remember about it. It would have been a fine one act play with two actors and a third person to get up at the end. Fine, thought provoking. As a movie, however, it was padded for time. By Padded I mean everything that took place outside of that room. By time I mean any excuse to make sequels. Fine, thought provoking story in the room, inane sequel bait outside of it. You know what this fine set of tits need...cheeseburgers! Inane
But I think the other Saw movies were even worse...

4. Did you ever see a movie from the german director Uwe Boll? He wants to make movies out of games, but they are realllllly bad (I don't know all his movies, but those I have seen were totally crap).

For example he did:

- Far Cry
- Postal
- Alone in the Dark
- ...
 

bartholen_v1legacy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 24, 2009
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300 THREE THOUSAND TIMES!!!!!!

I've been waiting so long for an excuse to display my loathing for this movie in full online, and now you've given me it. Thank you.

- Why are we supposed to care about the main character whose character arc goes: he's badass, he's badass, he's badass and then he dies? In fact, why are we supposed to care about any of the characters?
- Why do people praise its visuals when it looks like it was made by 10 people with a green screen in someone's living room? Seriously, it looks like shit!
- Why is it said to be super-violent and gory when all the blood spatter looks like someone edited it in with MS Paint's spray tool in post-production?
- Why is the movie almost 2 hours long? All that happens in it is this: the spartans get cross, and then they go fighting. They go fighting and then they die. That's it.
- Why are we supposed to think the persians are evil? The only direct evidence we have is that weird "tree of corpses" bit. Everything else we hear is spoken by the spartans, who throw weak babies down cliffs. Yeah, totally the good guys. And Xerxes actually treats the misformed guy decently, rather than dismissing him as some lower form of human being.
- The fight scenes are even less exciting than in Sucker Punch. At least in SP (a boring piece of shite also) you had some sense that the characters were in possible danger. In 300, all the spartans have basically god mode on. It's boring.
- I know it's based on a Frank Miller comic book, but its philosophy is still repulsive. The men who want to help them are viewed as second class citizens and the only role they serve is being a distraction to the Immortals. And all the spartans act like 13-year olds watching a super-violent movie "WHOOAAA ISN'T THAT COOL AREN'T WE BADASS PHWOAAAARRR??!?!?!!!"

For the record, I tried watching it again with a twist: every time I thought the movie wasn't any good, I took a shot of absinthe. It ended with me vomiting on my friend's floor without finishing the movie. 300 is probably the worst film I have ever seen, competing with Sex and the City 2.
 

Itdoesthatsometimes

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Aug 6, 2012
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I never have seen any of Uwe Boll's movies. The name sounds familiar. I am just assuming your question was directed towards me.

If I did see any of Saw's sequels I can not remember ever doing so. I have had the same opinion about Saw from the first and only time I have seen it. A fan made edit that takes place only in the room would be worth watching again though.

I do have to disagree with you about Hostel though. I liked that movie and to some extent it's sequel. I apparently was gullible and fell for the whole-the person you thought was the main character is not, it is really this guy. And Rick Hoffman's dialogue was so wonderfully unsettling, I would recommend the movie just based on that. The trick is, that scene would not have been so visceral out of context. Plus maybe I have an abnormally high tolerance for blown torched eyes. Do not get me wrong it is a disturbing violent movie. I would like to know why you dislike it. If you would indulge me.