Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Eumersian]

Granted. An incredible sense of smell allows you to smell all things, which is overwhelming and you die of smelling.

I wish that my lack of avatar allowed me more room for a longer title.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. everyone realizes this and then everyone ditches their avatars so as to have longer titles. This then leads to a counter movement of people who do away with their titles for larger avatars.

These two sides at opposite extremes grow to hate each other because the title only people have only text which is boring to look at, while the avatar only people make their avatars obnoxiously huge. The Escapist then dissolves into a civil war, with pretty much everyone making threads about how the other side is full of assholes.

This goes on for 6 straight months, with bans being thrown out left and right, without seeming to stem the tide of douchenozzles until finally the mods quit out of stress.

With no mods , the Escapist collapses under the weight of the unrestrained flow of dickheads, trolls and adbots.

I wish that made sense.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Denied, U Jelly?

I wish for Fighting Game type powers.(Fireballs, jumping really high, ETC.)

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You are kidnapped by the government of your country so they can run tests in you to determine how your powers work. You never escape.

I wish the poster above me had actually ruined my previous wish instead of outright denying it.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but when he tries to edit his post, he fails.

I wish for an alternate universe where Firefly didn't get canceled.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It isn't cancelled because it never existed.

I wish I was kidnapped and experimented on by the government.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted. It isn't cancelled because it never existed.

I wish I was kidnapped and experimented on by the government.

Granted, you'er my replacment, NOW U Jelly?
I wish for a bottom-less coin bag

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you fall inside and are trapped forever.

I wish for a cup of hot chocolate.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, you now have burn wounds all over your mouth.

I wish for a Double Smirnoff and a 7-up

 

[steeple]

granted, two guys named smirnoff come over can jump on your head enough times to get seven extra lives out of it....

I wish that the person below me wont ruin my wish!

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, now you are bored ^_^

I Wish for an anvil to fall on my head and kill me.

 

[steeple]

granted, you just respawn 10 seconds later

I wish for a talking pet badger...

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, you have unlocked "Rabies"

I wish a sweet red dinner suit

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Goddamn Internet
Double Post Sorry

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's so sweet that everyone rips you out of it so they can get a taste of it.

I wish for my camera charger.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's missing a pin on the plug top.

I wish for a free beer.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, but it makes you crash your bus

I wish for a decent internet connection

 

[pyramid head grape]

You get BT... Try to enjoy it!

I wish for TV to stop! D:

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but then it starts right back up again a second later.

I wish for a nice juicy peach!

 

[NightmareWarden]

Granted, but she only wears a large pink dress and she is frequently in a different castle.

I wish I had 4 additional arms like Doctor Octopus which I have complete control of.