Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Too bad it's a meow of apocalyptic proportions. The sheer magnitude of the noise rends the planet in two!

I wish for a tornado. In my house.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. My grandma hears you and forces you to join us.

I wish I could scrub that image from my mind.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Unfortunately, this particular grandma is deceased.

I wish for SPINNING BLADES OF DOOM to be installed haphazardly around my apartment.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. A delicious beetle and earthworm cookie coming right up. It's a specialty of the insect bakery.

I wish to destroy all plastics and plastic products. Ever.

 

[kdread1]

Granted but I EAT THE COOOOOKKKKKIIIEEEEE BWAHAHAHA.

I wish Minecraft was finished .

*EDIT* Ninja'd.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted, but she needs you to gather the seven sacred stones of the outworld before she'll give you the cookie.

I wish to eat a lead lollipop.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. But a Yoshi ninjas the cookie from you. Too bad all that work was for nothing.

I wish grandma would stop raping me. I mean, it was kinda cool at first, but that woman has more stamina than I thought possible. o.o

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Pre-digested and everything for your convenience.

I wish for a popsicle.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted iy taste AWESOME until you realized its poison and DIE
i wish i knew if there was an after life

 

[Nopodop]

Granted, you have been given a compulsory eternal tour of hell.
I wish for a blender-proof kitten.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted, but you die from the perfect moment involved in eating it.

I wish I was never ill again.