Saviours of the Waking World - Homestuck RP (co-GMed by Revolverwolf)

[revolverwolf]

[img_inline align=left]http://www.majhost.com/gallery/revolverwolf/Homestuck/Update1/mwangry.png[/img_inline]> Revolverwolf: Update The RP

Revolverwolf fails catastrophically. He tries to update the RP, but he finds it so hard to write anything these days, especially when it doesn't look like he's getting any return on his effort investment.

Today is the day he is playing an RP with his friends. Or, at least, he is meant to be playing an RP with his friends but these guys haven't written anything for a whole week. What's even up with that?

Okay, he is basically sure that they are taking the piss now. He has absolutely all of his irons in pretty much every fire he owns right now and these guys can't even all get into the goddamned Medium? Those inconsiderate fucks. Those bastardly dickbags. Those sick bitches. Those derogatory douche-canoes. He is pretty sure he will continue making up weird insults until they do what he wants them to. That's totally how GMing works.

Oh God, what even is this shit now? Someone is pestering him and they can't even have the common courtesy to be one of the shitster fags he needs to kick up the arse to RP more? Seriously. Just his luck.

Spoiler: -- riotsVanguard began trolling miracleWordsmith --

-- riotsVanguard [RV] began trolling miracleWordsmith [MW] at 16:13 --
RV: +-CD ready?
RV: +-CD you better be ready
RV: +-CD because you are about to be trolled so hard
MW: Fuck no, I, don't have time for you
MW: I'm telling you, man I don't need, your, sort of, shit, today
MW: Go, fuck up, some, other guy's life
RV: +-CD hahah
RV: +-CD seriously?
RV: +-CD this is more important than you now
MW: Seriously, shut up
MW: I, don't even, care
RV: +-CD just shut your stupid fleshy mouth and point me in the direction i need to go already
MW: Urgh you're always such, a pain!
MW: Go, troll some other, kid, and leave me alone for once!
-- miracleWordsmith [MW] blocked riotsVanguard [RV] at 16:15 --

Whoever gets trolled now is not his problem. Seriously, fuck those guys...

 

[Link_to_Future]

Donnie slumped in the corner of his room, sweat dripping from his face. Things were not going well at all. Four imps stood in front of him, each with a look of malice upon their face. They wanted nothing more than to prematurely end Donnie?s life. His eyes narrowed into slits, determination filling his being.

He wouldn?t be dying today.

He couldn?t.

He slowly staggered to his feet, focusing single-mindedly on their imminent destruction. This was going to prove to be difficult.

Accentuate!!

He ensured he put extreme emphasis on his extreme displeasure at the current situation. He was certain that his utter annoyance and complacency were coming through in both his words and his actions as his foes fell around him. He was tired of seeing these imps behave in the manner in which they had been behaving. All he wanted was for them to leave him alone. He had too much on his plate right now to consider, what with the world ending and his entire family seeming having kicked the bucket. Having to deal with the constant annoyance of these imps was just fatiguing.

By focusing on the negative, Donnie was able to quickly find reasons to find drive his foes into the ground. He moved swiftly to take care of the issues at hand. The hose whipped around with speed and precision, striking with a swift prejudice against his enemies. The first imp took rubber and copper straight to his fishy little face, temporarily staggered by weaponized gardening implement. A second imp that looked suspiciously like a snake with a gasmask on was trying to flank him. Well that?s unusual.

Gasmask?s legs were soon wrapped in a coil of rubbery tripping hazard. Donnie tightened the coil and dropped the foe to the ground. He placed his foot squarely in the middle of the filtering device and applied swift pressure. His foe didn?t respond kindly. In fact, he only responded by exploding into resources.

He turned to face his remaining foes. The goldfish seemed to be recovering from the sharp snap to the face while the other two advanced. One looked suspiciously like a beautiful girl?doll?thing while the other was wearing a toga. What a hodge podge of horribleness that he had in front of him today. He stepped back quickly before springing forward again. Their deaths would be painful and swift.

AMPLIFY!!

If there was one thing Donnie knew how to do, it was make things louder. He made a point to amplify the sound of sharp impact enough that the whole room would shake.

He knew he wouldn?t reach that goal. But hell, what was the harm in trying?

Before long only piles of grist were left where his opponents had once walked. Donnie panted for a moment before smirking. Hopefully these actions would give him some breathing room. Maybe he would be safe from the nuisances and botherings of these unrelenting enemies for a while longer.

Maybe he had won himself some breathing room for the time being. Maybe.

 

[Zirat]

Clarissa was storming about her house, and storming was the proper word as she was reducing whatever imps that came withing striking distance into their base components, as she tried to blow off steam, while she was the obvious victor in most battles they managed to get off a lucky hit here and there, leaving her a bit sore and not helping her current temper.
Halfway through this slaughter suddenly a crystal clear thought entered her head. She was told that Pop had left a note. After searching around her trashed home she found it secured to one of teh overturned Canary cages in the center room, the birds long since either eaten or having escaped the confines of the cage when teh Imps had their way with the place. Hoping for an answer she unfolded the note and read

Spoiler: Show note

-.-. .-.. .- .-. .. ... ... .- / .. / - .-. ..- .-.. -.-- / .-- .. ... .... / - .... .- - / .. - / .... .- -.. -. - / -.-. --- -- . / - --- / - .... .. ... --..-- / -... ..- - / .. - / ... . . -- ... / - .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- / --- ..- - ..-. --- -..- . -.. / -- . / -.-- . - / .- --. .- .. -. .-.-.- / -... ..- - / -.. --- -. - / --. . - / - --- --- / -.-. --- -.-. -.- -.-- / ... .. -. -.-. . / .. - .----. ... / -. --- .-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ..-. .- ..- .-.. - / .-- . .----. .-. . / .. -. / - .... .. ... / -- . ... ... .-.-.- / -.-- . - / .. - / ... . . -- ... / -. --- .-- / - .... .- - / .-- .... .- - / .. / .... .- ...- . / ..-. . .- .-. . -.. / .... .- ... / -.-. --- -- . / - --- / .--. .- ... ... --..-- / .- -. -.. / - .... . / - .... . --- .-. -.-- ... / .. / .... .- ...- . / ..-. --- .-.. .-.. --- .-- . -.. / .- .-. . / -. --- .-- / .- -... --- ..- - / - --- / .--. .- -.-- / --- ..-. ..-. .-.-.- / ... - .- -.-- / .- - / - .... . / .... --- ..- ... . / .- -. -.. / ... - .- -.-- / ... .- ..-. . --..-- / .. .----. .-.. .-.. / - .-. -.-- / - --- / -.-. --- -- . / -... .- -.-. -.- / .- ... / ..-. .- ... - / .- ... / .--. --- ... ... .. -... .-.. . .-.-.- / .- -. -.. / -.. --- -. - / ..-. --- .-. --. . - / - --- / -- .. -. -.. / -.. .. -. -. . .-. --..-- / .. / -.. .. -.. -. - / -.- .. .-.. .-.. / - .... .- - / ... -. .- -.- . / ..-. --- .-. / -. --- - .... .. -. --. .-.-.-

God damn it.

He was writing in morse code again, he only did that when he was getting worked up that things were afoot. But by the looks of things it certainly seemed that way... but he enver made things simple. Luckily, she was taught Morse so she quickly set to translating it
.
.
.
Or would if she remembered any of the stuff he taught her that didnt involve treasure mining. But how was she supposed to know deciphering his crazy text would have done her any good?! Who even used Morse Code anymore anyways? As outdated as things were at her house she was sure that no one uses telegraphs anymmore and she sure as hell wasnt captaining a ship. She just groaned and captchalogued the usless piece of paper for future delegation.
Unbeknownst to her, her Sprite had slinked it's way in to the room behind her, it had had enough of waiting around and it felt like it had to say it's piece. She spun around when she heard it make a hissing sound, shovel at the ready to bash some heads, but she eased up a bit when she saw it was only her freakish pet

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

Clarisssa: Whoah! You kinda freaked me out when I you just snuck up behind me like that.
Clarrisa: But ah well... you're the only company I got here that doesnt piss me off so I guess that's a good I didnt bash your head in!
Snakesprite:... no, that would not be good for you.
Clarissa:...
Clarissa:...
Clarissa:...
Clarissa:What the fuck

Both her and her snake had mutualy shared feeling that this is going to be weird, and it was only going to go downhill from there.

 

[SamuelT]

Amber dragged the dowels upstairs one at a time, utulising the single captchalogue card she did not have occupado. The imps around here were not at all phased by her beating of the REGAL IMP, and got in her way every time they could. Lowly GASMASK IMPS didn't give her ECHELADDER as much as a boost as the REGAL IMP had given her. After about ten trips up and down the dreaded staircase she had a suitable pile of DOWELS waiting to be structured.

With the AMBERQUEENSPRITE still in tow, she saw Kegan finally decided to show his chumhandle again.

<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:?? --
FA: ---O hey KEGAN
EM: Hello.
EM: Have you noticed the neatly arranged imps?
EM: The large marked off zone?
FA: ---O yeah i SAW >.>
EM: The blackboard with the arena tiers?
FA: ---O your BUTLERS work i SUPPOSE?
EM: Yes, that freaking fairy.
FA: ---O well it keeps him FROM BAETING the CRAP OUT OF YOU
FA: ---O baeting is a WORD NOW
EM: Yes, totally.
EM: Actually a mandate from Heaven has announced that beating is forbidden.
EM: Only baeting shall be accepted.
FA: ---O he HASTH COMMANDED
EM: Anyways, my butler doesn't just randomly baet shit.
EM: I mean that might seem so at first sight.
FA: ---O well he KEEPS A MIGHTY FINE house
EM: But he's a pretty meticulous guy with rigid rules.
FA: ---O the IMPS seem to WORSHIP HIM? :/
EM: More like cower in fear everytime he comes inspecting the room.
FA: ---O oh thats COWERING
FA: ---O i thought BOWING
FA: ---O oh yeah
FA: ---O I TALKED TO mark
FA: ---O he told me about ALCHEMISATION
EM: Yeah, the tiers are getting harder faster then I'm reaching new rungs.
EM: I guess that's where alchemization comes in.
FA: ---O it DOES
FA: ---O apparently you use A CONTRAPTION to punch in CODES into a CAPTCHALOGE CARD
FA: ---O you destroy the CARD but you can use the CARD to make one of those CURVED THINGIES
FA: ---O and create stuff on the PLATFORM like you did with the PREPUNCHED card
EM: Ugh, more arcane contraptions.
FA: ---O only ONE and this is a KEYBOARD
EM: I wish I could visualize these things as 'science'.
FA: ---O hmm im NOT THAT GOOD with ANALOGIES or SCIENCE
EM: Well, it's just that
EM: I don't know how any of this works.
EM: That's a bit unnerving.
FA: ---O well it works LIKE A GAME
FA: ---O i thought youd be ALL INTO THAT
EM: Gaming abstractions are much harder to accept when they unravel before your eyes.
FA: ---O yeah i GUESS
EM: I mean we're basically fighting black little humanoids
EM: We know nothing about
EM: For no apparent reason
FA: ---O THEY are ATTACKING YOU
EM: Well, they attack YOU on sight.
EM: My imps? They just wait until I enter the arena.
EM: In retropsect, I should be more appreciative of my butler.
EM: When he isn't kicking my ass...
FA: ---O hee! perhaps you need to take ADVANTAGE oF IT
FA: ---O our job is to PROGRESS through the SECOND GATE
FA: ---O i need GIRST to BUILD THAT HIGH
EM: Right. I get the message. Beat more imps.
FA: ---O and eventually GO HIGHER
EM: I'll need to alchemize some new weaponry though.
FA: ---O well I ONLY need the BLUE ONES
FA: ---O but you have DIFFERENT kinds
EM: The more we alchemize the slower we'll get to the top.
EM: The less we alchemize the harder and thus slower we'll progress.
FA: ---O but the MORE you ALCHEMISE the more GIRST YOU GET
EM: But that's a moot point considering the fact that there's no impending meteoric doom this time.
EM: Right?
FA: ---O not here ANYWAY
EM: Yeah, Mark evaded his own impending meteoric doom.
FA: ---O oh thats goood
FA: ---O i think most OF US ARE in now
EM: Speaking of which, I haven't really contacted the other 'players'
EM: What are they doing?
FA: ---O C's baeting MARK OUT OF his INFORMATION and IMPS last i heard
EM: Speaking of baeting.
FA: ---O JEFFREY is having trouble with HIS LAPTOP
EM: I need to start baeting some imps. After a little alchemization.
FA: ---O oh okay
EM: I will contact you after the baeting is finished.
FA: ---O LET ME throw down THE PUNCH DESIGNIX first
EM: Out of curiosity
EM: Can you throw it on some imps?
FA: ---O >.>
FA: ---O sure

Amber selected the PUNCH DESIGNIX, dropping four out of their precious ten SHALE, and a bunch of GIRST. Kegan's beatings gave her alot of leeway though. She threw the thing down on a bunch of imps at the end of the line to Kegan's arena. She conemplated what a weirdo the butler was, then went back to the chum.
<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>
EM: Yeaaaa, free grist.
EM: Why don't we do this more often?
FA: ---O because last time BUTLER got ALL MAD
FA: ---O should i THROW more STUFF?
EM: NO.
FA: ---O okay
EM: You're right, who knows that vase dangles at the edge of a table.
EM: And the minute quake of a large object landing sends reverberations through the marble floor and sends the vase to it's doom
EM: And by extension, my doom.
FA: ---O well I JUST moved it a BIT TO THE RIGHT
FA: ---O doom SOLVED
EM: Good. Time to dispense some baeting.
EM: Baeting. This... this should be a word.
FA: ---O IT IS >
FA: ---O do you WANNA ALCHEMISE first or CAN I GO BUILD NOW?
EM: Alchemise first.
EM: Otherwise I won't be able to baet efficiently and you'll run out of grist.
FA: ---O ALRIGHT well you need DOWELS for it of COURSE
EM: I'll get some then.
FA: ---O alright I THINK ill try to CONTACT JEFFREY for him to DROP ME a PUNCH DESIGNIX
EM: The inhumanity, I'll have to use a gaming abstraction to carry them.
EM: Okay.
EM: That sounds like a plan.
FA: ---O guy has a DEMON LAPTOP now THOUGH :S
EM: Demon Laptop?
EM: Some result of alchemization?
FA: ---O i dunno HE SAID it SPROUTED TEETH and went all HARRY POTTER on him
EM: That does not strike me as being added functionality.
FA: ---O i dont think it IS ALCHEMISATION
FA: ---O he said it was SUDDENLY after his DRIVER UPDATE
FA: ---O anyway IM gonna DO THAT
FA: ---O CHUM ME if youre done with ALCHEMISATION kay?
-- feistyAthlete [FA] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:??--

Time to kick this ***** down the stairs.

<spoiler=Show Pesterchum>-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering voidedParasol [VP] at ??:??--
FA: ---O JEFFREY >XO
FA: ---O you MANAGED to get your LAPTOP under control yet?
FA: ---O guess not....
FA: ---O MESSAGE ME as soon as you CAN okay?
-- feistyAthlete [FA] ceased pestering voidedParasol [VP] at ??:??--

 

[i don't know]

Go to sleep

Derek does that, waking up only a few hours later.

go chat with Donnie

Spoiler: pesterlog incoming

Pesterlog is credit to team!

 

[Voukras]

Kegan briefly considers doing something other than slapping imps.

He fails at briefly considering that, slapping imps is too appealing. Kegan enters the arena and decides to take a different approach at defeating the imps, otherwise slapping would get rather boring. Well, they do have philosophic tendencies...

"Which of you ascribe to nihilism?" ...Two imps step forward. Kegan continues: "Nihilism states that everything is without meaning, or at least lacks intrinsic values, right?" The imps confused, but forbearing, nod in an approving manner. "But if that would be true then the philosophical doctrine of Nihilism should not exist, because it would be meaningless; yet it does, proving that the absence of meaning has some sort of meaning." The two Imps think on this matter for a few brief moments and shortly begin to flip the fuck out. Kegan then resumes the usual imp slapping for grist; but what is this... pesterchum again...?

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 22:54 --
CL: Thaanks foor noot cheeckiing oon mee aafteer aa fuuckiing eexploosiioon tooook oouut haalf my hoouusee
CL: Reeaally niicee oof yoouu
EM: I know. I try my best. You're lucky to have a friend like me.
CL: Wheen wee aall meeeet uup II'm flaayiing yoouu foor thiis
CL: EExceept noot reeaally,beecaauusee wee'ree broos.
CL: Buut yoouu knoow whaat II meeaan...
CL: AAnywaay,leet's geet too woork,yoouu goot thee puunch deesiigniix iin yoouur iinveentoory?
EM: I don't know what flaaying means, but cool, bro.
EM: Yes.
CL: Plaacee thaat biitch toown
CL: Maany iimps saacriifiiceed theeiir liivees foor thee shaalee reequuiireed
EM: I've placed it in the hallway.
EM: Sorry, couldn't find a more inconvinient position.
CL: ...
CL: Good II haatee yoouu soomeetiimees KEEgaan
CL: ookaay,giivee mee aa seec too shuufflee doown theeree...
-- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 22:57 --
-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 22:58 --
CL: II reetuurn aa neew maan
CL: OOnee weeaapoon uupgraadee aand aa caaptchaalooguuee leess laateer
CL: Yoouu reeaady too staart buuiildiing thiis biitch uup oor aaree yoouu buusy piissiing aaboouut?
EM: Whatever. Glad to hear you've upgraded your tin foil sword.
EM: What's it now? A cartboard scimtar?
CL: II'm wiieeldiing thee brookeen reemaaiins oof my uukuuleelee....
CL: Whiich II reeaaliisee waas aa stuupiid striifee speeciibii chooiicee,buut whaateeveer...
EM: YOU ARE SO HONEST.
CL: AAnywaay,II'll goo oouut aand muurdeer soomee iimpy liittlee baastaards,yoouu buuiild uup my hoouusee iinbeetweeeen slaappiign iimps aand yoouurseelf yoouu weeiird baastaard
CL: Haavee fuun.

Time to resume imp slappi-- pesterchum. Again. Oh well...

<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:?? --
FA: ---O hey KEGAN
EM: Hello.
EM: Have you noticed the neatly arranged imps?
EM: The large marked off zone?
FA: ---O yeah i SAW >.>
EM: The blackboard with the arena tiers?
FA: ---O your BUTLERS work i SUPPOSE?
EM: Yes, that freaking fairy.
FA: ---O well it keeps him FROM BAETING the CRAP OUT OF YOU
FA: ---O baeting is a WORD NOW
EM: Yes, totally.
EM: Actually a mandate from Heaven has announced that beating is forbidden.
EM: Only baeting shall be accepted.
FA: ---O he HASTH COMMANDED
EM: Anyways, my butler doesn't just randomly baet shit.
EM: I mean that might seem so at first sight.
FA: ---O well he KEEPS A MIGHTY FINE house
EM: But he's a pretty meticulous guy with rigid rules.
FA: ---O the IMPS seem to WORSHIP HIM? :/
EM: More like cower in fear everytime he comes inspecting the room.
FA: ---O oh thats COWERING
FA: ---O i thought BOWING
FA: ---O oh yeah
FA: ---O I TALKED TO mark
FA: ---O he told me about ALCHEMISATION
EM: Yeah, the tiers are getting harder faster then I'm reaching new rungs.
EM: I guess that's where alchemization comes in.
FA: ---O it DOES
FA: ---O apparently you use A CONTRAPTION to punch in CODES into a CAPTCHALOGE CARD
FA: ---O you destroy the CARD but you can use the CARD to make one of those CURVED THINGIES
FA: ---O and create stuff on the PLATFORM like you did with the PREPUNCHED card
EM: Ugh, more arcane contraptions.
FA: ---O only ONE and this is a KEYBOARD
EM: I wish I could visualize these things as 'science'.
FA: ---O hmm im NOT THAT GOOD with ANALOGIES or SCIENCE
EM: Well, it's just that
EM: I don't know how any of this works.
EM: That's a bit unnerving.
FA: ---O well it works LIKE A GAME
FA: ---O i thought youd be ALL INTO THAT
EM: Gaming abstractions are much harder to accept when they unravel before your eyes.
FA: ---O yeah i GUESS
EM: I mean we're basically fighting black little humanoids
EM: We know nothing about
EM: For no apparent reason
FA: ---O THEY are ATTACKING YOU
EM: Well, they attack YOU on sight.
EM: My imps? They just wait until I enter the arena.
EM: In retrospect, I should be more appreciative of my butler.
EM: When he isn't kicking my ass...
FA: ---O hee! perhaps you need to take ADVANTAGE oF IT
FA: ---O our job is to PROGRESS through the SECOND GATE
FA: ---O i need GIRST to BUILD THAT HIGH
EM: Right. I get the message. Beat more imps.
FA: ---O and eventually GO HIGHER
EM: I'll need to alchemize some new weaponry though.
FA: ---O well I ONLY need the BLUE ONES
FA: ---O but you have DIFFERENT kinds
EM: The more we alchemize the slower we'll get to the top.
EM: The less we alchemize the harder and thus slower we'll progress.
FA: ---O but the MORE you ALCHEMISE the more GIRST YOU GET
EM: But that's a moot point considering the fact that there's no impending meteoric doom this time.
EM: Right?
FA: ---O not here ANYWAY
EM: Yeah, Mark evaded his own impending meteoric doom.
FA: ---O oh thats goood
FA: ---O i think most OF US ARE in now
EM: Speaking of which, I haven't really contacted the other 'players'
EM: What are they doing?
FA: ---O C's baeting MARK OUT OF his INFORMATION and IMPS last i heard
EM: Speaking of baeting.
FA: ---O JEFFREY is having trouble with HIS LAPTOP
EM: I need to start baeting some imps. After a little alchemization.
FA: ---O oh okay
EM: I will contact you after the baeting is finished.
FA: ---O LET ME throw down THE PUNCH DESIGNIX first
EM: Out of curiosity
EM: Can you throw it on some imps?
FA: ---O >.>
FA: ---O sure

The Punch Designix floats menacingly over the imps head's before promptly flattening them.

<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>
EM: Yeaaaa, free grist.
EM: Why don't we do this more often?
FA: ---O because last time BUTLER got ALL MAD
FA: ---O should i THROW more STUFF?
EM: NO.
FA: ---O okay
EM: You're right, who knows what vase dangles at the edge of a table.
EM: And the minute quake of a large object landing sends reverberations through the marble floor and sends the vase to it's doom
EM: And by extension, my doom.
FA: ---O well I JUST moved it a BIT TO THE RIGHT
FA: ---O doom SOLVED
EM: Good. Time to dispense some baeting.
EM: Baeting. This... this should be a word.
FA: ---O IT IS >
FA: ---O do you WANNA ALCHEMISE first or CAN I GO BUILD NOW?
EM: Alchemise first.
EM: Otherwise I won't be able to baet efficiently and you'll run out of grist.
FA: ---O ALRIGHT well you need DOWELS for it of COURSE
EM: I'll get some then.
FA: ---O alright I THINK ill try to CONTACT JEFFREY for him to DROP ME a PUNCH DESIGNIX
EM: The inhumanity, I'll have to use a gaming abstraction to carry them.
EM: Okay.
EM: That sounds like a plan.
FA: ---O guy has a DEMON LAPTOP now THOUGH :S
EM: Demon Laptop?
EM: Some result of alchemization?
FA: ---O i dunno HE SAID it SPROUTED TEETH and went all HARRY POTTER on him
EM: That does not strike me as being added functionality.
FA: ---O i dont think it IS ALCHEMISATION
FA: ---O he said it was SUDDENLY after his DRIVER UPDATE
FA: ---O anyway IM gonna DO THAT
FA: ---O CHUM ME if youre done with ALCHEMISATION kay?
-- feistyAthlete [FA] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:??--

Kegan captchalogues a few cruxite dowels and heads for Punch Designix. He captchalogues the foolslapper gloves and grabs a fireplace poker. After obtaining the corresponding cards, Kegan begins alchemization:

Foolslapper || Iron Poker = Iron Foolpoker

Poking does not seem as a great improvement from slapping, quite the opposite, but that is just nomenclature. The gloves functionality has improved. Instead of leathery slappage, the imps shall have to endure cold iron against their faces. The gloves also have small protrusions not unlike mini fireplace pokers. Except that they will be henceforth imp pokers. Imps shall be poked. And poked to death they will be.

 

[SamuelT]

...to steal the spotlight here. It's just so quiet.

Amber grinned as the Iron Foolpoker started living up to his namesake, with imps dropping everywhere in a flurry of well deserved SLAPPINGS. Girst was pouring into the application, and soon she found herself with more than she could currently think of using.

Gleefully, she dragged a staircase from the hallway she had recently wrecked upstairs up to the roof, and promptly depleted more than half of her girst. Crap.

Oh well. She cleared a small piece of the roof, and put an ajacent platform on the roof. It wobbled precautiously, so she reinforced it with simple walls. Already her build girst was pretty much empty. Stairs; a no-go.

She spun around on her chair a few times, thinking what she should do. Jeffrey wasn't responding, Kegan was busy with FOOLSLAPPERY and she wasn't even sure what the others were doing. Their chumhandles all were omniously absconded. She decided it was time to find out how this alchemising could work for her. With a pretty big stock of dowels, all she needed was different items to COMBINEALISE.

She jumped off the chair, and when she landed her door flew open. A BEARDED SNAKE IMP stormed into her room, looking bewildered. Or as much Amber could read a snakebeardface. She wasted little time and ADVANCED the hell out of the distance between them, followed up with an ARISE of her cricketbat. It IMPBUMBLED out of her room and down the stairs. The house shook with the crash it made when landing on the bottom floor. It could not possibly be anything else, she was positive of that.

Going against the norm this time, Amber started her EXPLORATION of the upper levels of the house, hoping she was wrong about her mother living in the STONE AGE.

 

[Zirat]

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

Snakesprite:Yeah.... I knew you were going to react like that but I kept getting this naggling thought in my head that I had to ssspeak to you now
Clarissa:...
Snakesprite:What's wrong? You were in full on raving mode before, ssspeak up!
Clarissa:Why are you talking?
Snakesprite:...

The Snakesprite facepalmed at this, well not so much facepalmed but brought the tip of it's tail up to its face as it gave a very human sigh

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

Snakesprite:... you know that thing your ssserver player had you ssstuff my corpssse into? Yeah, that'sss how. So can we pleassse get thisss moving? It's just asss hard on me asss it isss on you
Clarissa:Hard on you? Please, you've just been sleeping and eating Imps all this time!
Snakesprite: Yeah? Well let me know when you died completely normal and came back asss... sssomething elssse! Let me tell you, it isssnt fun
Clarissa: Okay, okay! Fine, I get it... and I've been kinda meaning to apologize about how Pop kinda broke you up for the pot
Snakesprite: Yesss... well it'sss too late for any of that to be taken back.

Clarissa had lowered the shovel from striking stance to now just having the tip against the floor as she leaned on the handle. Normaly she'd find this much odder, and perhaps swing at it anyways, and if it was as annoying as what she was dealingwith up to this point she may as well have done so already, but the sprite seemed straight to the point and wanted to tell her something and that was a blessing. But it looked like he was about to go off on a tangent so she decided to cut to the chase

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

Clarissa:So... you said that you had to tell me something?
Snakesprite: ANd then... wait, oh yesss. The sssprite part of me knowsss sssomething about the game I have to tell you, you may want to pull up a chair, thisss is kinda long.
Clarissa: Oh great, exposition. Well hit me, I'm ready for whatever you have
Snakesprite: Sure? ALright, here goes...
Snakesprite: Now, you know that you're in the medium, right? This is some kind of void or purgatory that you're ssstuck in, and the only way to get out is climbing up to you Gate, to access your world
Clarissa: Yeah, I've been told this before wriggle-boy! Skip to the chase
Snakesprite:Will you let me finish? Thank you! Anywaysss where was I?
Clarissa: *Sigh*
Clarissa: Alright then, you said something about the gatesss... er, gates
Snakesprite: Ah, thanksss. But yes, once you reach your world there will be other gatesss to reach! But... not quite as dependent on your ssserver player to reach. Ssseven in total, then past that you willfind the Incissssphere... and there, you ssshall find Ssskaia
Clarissa: Skaia? Sounds interesting... what is it?
Snakesprite: I... cant sssay
Clarissa: ...
Clarissa: Why Not?
Snakesprite: Now dont get like that with me! I sssimply cant say. But I can promissse you thisss, it is sssomething of limitlesss potential, now doesssnt that sound promisssing?
Well... that sounds like something I wouldnt mind getting my hands on, so lets put it this way, what CAN you tell me?
Snakepsrite: About Ssskaia? Not much more, but something elssse you ssshould know, it'sss protection is charged to the Forcesss of Light, who will alwaysss insure that it isss meant to be used by those it isss needed by, but just as ssstrong in their beliefs, there isss an equal opposition in the Legionsss of Darknesss who want nothing more than to sssee it dessstroyed.
Clarissa: Okay, so bad guys against good guys, is that where we come in?
Snakesprite: Exactly! Now you're getting it! You sssee... as rightouss as the Light isss in it'sss caussse... they are alwaysss dessstined to losse
Clarissa: Huh... shitty. But I guess that's where the us players come in, right?
Snakesprite: Indeed, ssso now do you ssseee what you're sssupposssed to do?
Clarissa: Yeah, stomp the badguys, save the good ones, smash the baddies, grab this ultimate treaure and we're all back home for a nice vacation and stuff. Sounds like a plan to me!
Snakesprite: Right on almossst all countsss... you wont be going home again
Clarissa: Why not? It's not like I could hang around inside this game for the rest of my life, I knew things looked bad but it's all supposed to work out by the end, it always does!
Snakesprite:... not thisss time I'm afraid, there is no stopping the dessstruction of your home world

This revelation cause Clarissa to lean forward a bit, causing her to lose her balance and topple over like a complete clutz, her shovel fell with a clatter but her sprite shot out it's tail to break her fall, she quickly pushed the helping appendage away and striaghtened up.

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

Care to run that by me again Scales?
I'm sssorry Clarisssa... your planets done for. It'sss dussst, ceassed to be, bereft of form it ressstsss in piecesss[/silver]
Clarissa: B-but... that means
Clarissa: I...
Clarissa: I NEVER FOUND THAT DAMN TREASURE!
Snakesprite: Wait, that'sss what you're only concerned about?
Clarissa: No duh! I've spent most of my life hunting that thing down, and now it just slips away like that! God damn it I've been bitchslapped by life before but this is a new one!
Snakesprite:B-but... what about your family and friends? Pets? Favorite locations? Dont you care?
Clarissa: Why should I? I mean yeah, all those people and stuff that were on there... but I have all my friends, and I'm using that word somewhat strenously now considering some of them, out here and safe, and in case you didnt notice I wasnt able to flutter around a lot like a social butterfly so this is just about all I need!
Snakesprite: Uh... wow, well I guesss this is going better than expected then. Um...
Clarissa: Speak for yourself, you didnt lose your lifeswork... just your life.
Gah... low blow girl. But... think of it this way, you lost one treasure, right? Well, I know for a fact once you get into the game proper you'll be able to find SO MUCH it'll be ridiculousss!
Clarissa: ... really?
Snakesprite: Hey, I'm kind of honor bound here. I cant just flat out lie to you. Play your cards right and you'll be ssswimming in the loot[/silver]
Clarissa: That... sounds pretty good right about now, when can I get to that part?
Snakesprite: Very sssoon! All you need to do is get out of here and you'll be golden! But thisss meansss no more fighting with your ssserver player if you want to make it out of here quick, got that?
Clarissa: shit, I forgot about that melodramatic douche. Do I really have to work together with him? I mean, there has to be some other way to-
Snakesprite: NO, I mean it, if you want to make it through here and ready to get going, you have to bury the hatchet, and no matter how bad he getsss make sssure it isssnt in hisss ssskull, got that?
Clarissa: Fine, got it. God, you sound like someones grandma. But I better get going then, get more grist drama boy can build up my house, I get out of his clutches faster. Win for everyone involved. Thanks slithers

Clarissa grabbed her shovel and set out with new purpose, a grand treasure was awaiting her at her world and a potentialy bigger one at Skaia, and she didnt like the odds of anyone that got in her way. The sprite eyed her departure sleepily and yawned, it did it's job for now, she was motivated and ready to play the game right. All he had to do was make sure she didnt screw anything up too bad and it would be one hell of a game.

 

[Sir Strange Of The House Lycan]

Mark stalked through his house one last time in his search for imps,making sure every room had been cleansed,every hallway purged and the garden baptized.Despite the amount of imp-genocide he had enacted,he had yet to claim a new feather in his hat.Muttering in a mild rage,he ascended the stair case to his room,and sat down on his computer,getting ready to talk to his Server player.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 20:54 --
CL: Thaanks foor noot cheeckiing oon mee aafteer aa fuuckiing eexploosiioon tooook oouut haalf my hoouusee
CL: Reeaally niicee oof yoouu
EM: I know. I try my best. You're lucky to have a friend like me.
CL: Wheen wee aall meeeet uup II'm flaayiing yoouu foor thiis
CL: EExceept noot reeaally,beecaauusee wee'ree broos.
CL: Buut yoouu knoow whaat II meeaan...
CL: AAnywaay,leet's geet too woork,yoouu goot thee puunch deesiigniix iin yoouur iinveentoory?
EM: I don't know what flaaying means, but cool, bro.
EM: Yes.
CL: Plaacee thaat biitch doown
CL: Maany iimps saacriifiiceed theeiir liivees foor thee shaalee reequuiireed
EM: I've placed it in the hallway.
EM: Sorry, couldn't find a more inconvenient position.
CL: ...
CL: Good II haatee yoouu soomeetiimees Keegaan
CL: ookaay,giivee mee aa seec too shuufflee doown theeree...
-- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 20:57 --

Mark swore under his breath as he tore his door open,almost ripping it from it's hinges,and marched to the stairs.He stopped and cursed again when he saw the stairs were suddenly infested with imps.Without hesitation he dived forwards and whipped the first imp twice across the face,then collected the gushers as it popped before jumping behind another and garroting it.After collecting the resources,he leaped into the air and used the mooks heads as stepping stones to reach the punch designix,leaping over to the accessible side and using it as a shield against the hordes,or at least,hordette...small group...it didn't matter.

Mark jammed the broken ukulele's card into the machine,then the blade.Then moved onto the cruxtruder and jammed the cards in together,then grabbed the dowel and moved on to the alchemiter,creating through the process of && alchemization...The Shattered Fantasy Songblade,a weapon useless to his current Strife Specibi...

Fuck

He then realized the old saying,and moved up back to his notes,finding the alternate course of alchemization Eggbert had discussed,repeating the process,instead in the manner needed to || alchemization,he created the...Bladed Ukulele.Mark shouted victory and equipped the weapon,getting to work slicing the imps clogging up his staircase to ribbons.After a sufficient amount of experimentation,Mark got to contacting Kegan.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 20:58 --
CL: II reetuurn aa neew maan
CL: OOnee weeaapoon uupgraadee aand aa caaptchaalooguuee leess laateer
CL: Yoouu reeaady too staart buuiildiing thiis biitch uup oor aaree yoouu buusy piissiing aaboouut?
EM: Whatever. Glad to hear you've upgraded your tin foil sword.
EM: What's it now? A cartboard scimtar?
CL: II'm wiieeldiing thee brookeen reemaaiins oof my uukuuleelee....
CL: Whiich II reeaaliisee waas aa stuupiid striifee speeciibii chooiicee,buut whaateeveer...
EM: YOU ARE SO HONEST.
CL: AAnywaay,II'll goo oouut aand muurdeer soomee iimpy liittlee baastaards,yoouu buuiild uup my hoouusee iinbeetweeeen slaappiign iimps aand yoouurseelf yoouu weeiird baastaard
CL: Haavee fuun.
-- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 21:01 --

Mark grinned with gleeful insanity as he moved through his house,obliterating all who stood in his way.

 

[Zirat]

Hurrying out of the kitchen and outside, Clarissa craned up her neck to get a good look at how far Mark was going along, he seemed to have stopped and started a bit lately but now she couldn't tell if he was finished building or not.
Well... seems like I have to speak to him again. Just think of the reward in Skaia this whole time like the Snake said and maybe I can go through it without wanting to strangle him with his own hair she thought, taking a deep breath, composing herself, and then opening up her currently baron pesterchum client and seeing he was on. And distraught. This amused her slightly before she called him up

Spoiler: show pesterlog

AA: Mark you there?
CL: Yees,Ms Greeeenwiitch.
CL: Whaat iis thee proobleem?
AA: None...
AA: atleast now
AA: Pretty much, I see what you meant before. ABout having to get all this crap in the game done fast
AA: So thats what this is about, can you hurry this up and get us moving?
CL: II caan't reeaally doo aanythiing too huurry thee ootheers aaloong.
CL: Theey'ree taakiign theeiir sweeeet aass tiimee thoouugh.
CL: Meeteeoors aaree goonnaa staart flyiing.
CL: AAnd noo oonees oon Peesteerloog aany mooree.
AA: HAVE flown
CL: IIt feeeels liikee iit's toooo laatee soomeetiimees.
AA: And yeah i've noticed that
AA: But lets just take care of the ones here, how far am I from that gate now?
CL: AAll wee caan doo iis try too Geet aas faar wiith oouurseelvees aas poossiiblee.
CL: Weell,Yoouu'vee kiileeld eenoouugh oof thee liittlee baastaards foor mee too buuiild uup too iit.
CL: Buut,aas weel diiscuusseed,IImps aand oogrees haavee taakeen iit ooveer.
CL: IIt's teeeemiign wiith thee liittlee fuuckeers.
CL: Yoouu maay waant too aalcheemiizee aa shooveel uupgraadee.
CL: Soo aas too maakee thee prooceess eesiieer
AA: Yeah yeah, I heard that one before...
CL: Buut yoouu coouudl staart woorkiing yoouur waay uup noow.
CL: Buut,theeree iis liiteeraally huundreeds,iif noot thoouusaands oof theem theeree.
CL: Pluus OOgrees.
AA: never easy is it?
CL: Noopee.
CL: Thaat's thee naatuuree oof thiis gaamee,diiffiicuulty.
CL: Hoow iis Doonniiees proogreess?
CL: Good iis iit haard too keeeep froom caalliign hiim Doonoovaan.
AA: As good as someone with a hose can be
CL: Heeh
AA: He's doing what he needs to, kinda slow though
CL: Weell,giivee hiim aa kiick uup thee baacksiidee.
CL: IIs hee iin yeet?
AA: Most of the time it seems to be more ways than one
AA: Of course he is
CL: EExceelleent.
AA: Think I'd leave him twisting in the wind?
CL: Pooiint.
CL: Leet mee seeee thee booaard foor hee's suuppooseed too coonneect toooo...
AA: A board? I'm not suprised...
CL: IIt's juust aa whiiteebooaard.
CL: AAh,hee's neext too faatty,
AA: ... who?
CL: II'm aall buut ceertaaiin tgaar hee iis noo l;oong oon hiis moortaal cooiil.
CL: Deereek.
CL: Mr EElmeers
CL: Deerroor.
AA: ...
AA: I only had the misfortune to talk to him once
AA: NEVER
CL: Yeeaah,preetty suuree hee's deeaad.
AA: Heh...
AA: Well nothing lost I guess
CL: Haarsh!
AA: But true
AA: You were thinking the same thing!
CL: AAnywaay,hee's liinkeed too Neeiil.
CL: II'm preetty suuree hee's aalsoo deeaad,yeet iit raamiisn too bee seeeen.
AA: Hmm
AA: Think Donnie could connect to him?
CL: AAnd theen hee's liinkeed too Jeeff.
CL: Maaybee?
CL: Yoouu'd haavee too try aand coontaact hiim.
CL: AAnd liikee II saaiid,raaree aamoouunts oof peeooplee oon peesteerchuum noowaadaayaa
AA: Yeah...
AA: thats kind of worrying
CL: AAnd fiinaally AAmbeer.
AA: What about her?
CL: Thee oonyl peersoon II knoow iis deefiinteely stiill aaliivee,.
CL: Shee liinsk too Jeeff.
CL: EEveeryoonee froom Doonniiee too AAmbeer iis MIIAA.
AA: Well, we dont need a set amount of people right?
CL: Noopee.
AA: We'll just have to make due then
CL: Juust neeeed too keeeep reeplaaciing theem.
CL: Keeeep mooviing oon.
CL: Stiill,wee beetteer maakee suuree eeveeryoonees noot deeaad fiirst.
AA: Alright, I'll make rounds between levels of my own house
CL: Juust staart slaauughteeriing,
AA: Which brings me to something I wanted to ask you... after this one gate there are six others right?
CL: Hoopeefuully yoouu'll maakee aa deent.
CL: Yeep
AA: And these take just as long as this one?
-- creativeLoon [CL] shurgged --
AA: Hmm
CL: II reeaally haavee noo iideeaa.
AA: Well, better do my best to clear them first then
CL: EEggbeert gaavee noo cluuees paast thee fiirst gaatee.
CL: EExceelleent.
CL: Coontaact yoouu aagaaiin soooon Claariissaa.

Well... that wasn't too bad. He finished his work for her without being too whiny dramatic, a win-win in her books. But the mention of countless ogres and imps standing between her and what she wanted was a slight issue. That and the complete and utter lack of people of Pesterchum, but half of them she didn't care for, and the lack of competition for Skaia would be appreciated... but still, she was worried for those she DID consider her friends. And she hadn't spoken to Amber for a while, or Donnie...
She shook her head, she was sure they'd be fine. But first chance she got she would speak to them, but in the meantime, she needed to alchematize some new gear for her challenge ahead.

 

[SamuelT]

Well. That was a complete waste of time.

Mums room was completely void of anything past the 1940's, with even an old grammophone standing on a positively ancient cubbard. A record was on it, spinning. The needle however was lifted off it. A disheartened sigh escaped her, as this archaic device showed her that, no, her mum probably wouldn't have anything useful anywhere around.

The rest of the upper floor showed even less usefulness, yet more imps. Her health vial dropped below half, and Amber, with a couple of more rungs attached to her name, thought it wise to retreat into her room. She saw that Jeffrey had been going to town with her room.

And with to town, there was a punch designix in the room. Freaking finally.

As she closed the door, the Amberqueensprite still stared at her.

<spoiler=show Spritelog>
AS: May we finally converse with you?
FA: ---O oh WOW you can actually TALK?
AS: Of course we can; we of regal bearing can do alot more than merely talk.
FA: ---O um SURE i guess? so HELLO my LADY
AS: Proper decorum would be preferred, yes. But as we need to serve you, it is not needed.
FA: ---O OKAY queenie whyd you SPEAK UP now?
AS: Because your bumbling around does your ultimate goal no good.
FA: ---O my ULTIMATE GOAL
FA: ---O :?
AS: That face. It's ridiculous.
AS: But yes. Your Ultimate Goal, to gain access to Skaia.
FA: ---O WHAT is SKAIA?
AS: Skaia will be everything. More I cannot say.
FA: ---O oh man THAT sounds AWESOME how do i GET THERE?
AS: You go up.
FA: ---O haha
FA: ---O WHAT?


The Amberqueensprite pointed upwards, and Amber looked through a window. Sure enough, she was pointing at the small blue-white dot that she'd seen earlier.

<spoiler=Show Spritelog>
FA: ---O HOW am i supposed to GET UP THERE?
AS: Your server player will build your way up there. Once there, you will be taken to a different place, where you will have to seek out a different portal. This will repeat itself six times, and when you step through the seventh portal, you will be taken to the incisphere. And from there on; Skaia.
FA: ---O WOW this all sounds REALLY NEAT can you TELL ME anything else?
AS: The armies of both light and darkness fight on Skaia, and through the entire medium. You have encountered its soldiers already, the lowly imps. There are more powerful enemies, and light always fights darkness. They cannot win without your help though.
FA: ---O ALLRIGHT so i NEED to GET THROUGH the GATES and THATS IT?
AS: Not entirely, but for the moment, yes. That is it.
FA: ---O WHAT about EARTH?
AS: What about it?
FA: ---O WONT WE save it AT SOME POINT?
AS: Saving the world is not possible. It is doomed.
FA: ---O oh nooooo :'(
AS: Yes. It is true. Though, this world will more than make up for that. I give you my word.
FA: ---O AND what about YOU? WHAT will YOU DO?
AS: For now, I will keep my kingdom free from any that would ursurp my rule.
FA: ---O your rule?
AS: This room.
FA: ---O oh

As the Amberqueensprite took her place perched on top of Ambers wardrobe her computer rang.

omgchumsomg

<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>-- apotropaicAntithesis [AA] began pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at ??:??--
AA: Amber!
AA: You alive out there?
FA: ---O sure AM B)
FA: ---O not that these IMPS make it EASY
AA: Well you should be able to handle em fine
AA: I just need to help with a headcount
FA: ---O OH?
AA: Turns out that some of our numbers met an end somewhere in this whole process...
FA: ---O WHAT do you MEAN, C? :|
AA: Just what it sounds like
AA: Crushed under spacejunk by not making it in time
FA: ---O
FA: ---O WHO didnt MAKE IT? I HEARD nothing ABOUT THIS!
AA: Well, no one too important. Mainly that one kid Derror or something
FA: ---O oh him
AA: Yeah, so no big deal in the whole thing
FA: ---O still SAD though
AA: *shrug*
AA: Que sera sera and all that crap
FA: ---O i guess ALOT of PEOPLE DIED
FA: ---O with the EARTH DESTRUCTION and all that
AA: Yeah, that was pretty final according to slithers back here
FA: ---O i heard YEAH
FA: ---O OOH
AA: But, lets not focus on that too much, we're here and they're not
FA: ---O HAVE YOU HEARD about this SKAIA THING though?
AA: YES!
AA: Thats another reason for this little chat of ours
FA: ---O :?
AA: How about a little contest to liven this game up?
FA: ---O heheheh WHAT DID you HAVE in MIND?
AA: Well, pretty simple
AA: A race to Skaia
AA: First one there gets rightful claim over whatevers inside
FA: ---O YOURE ON >
AA: Good!
FA: ---O oh man JEFFREY'S BEEN GONE for a while THOUGH
AA: Jeffrey?
FA: ---O yeah HES MY SERVER
AA: The one with an
AA: UMBRELLA thing?
FA: ---O yup!
AA: *Shakes head*
AA: he always skeeved me out
FA: ---O hes pretty cool IF YOU CAN GET PAST his MUSICALS
AA: well just about anything would be preferable to Mark and his omnious MR EGGBERT and their plot
FA: ---O
FA: ---O OH can i have the CODE for your LAPTOP?
AA: So you dont have to bother going back to your own compy?
FA: ---O yuss
AA: Sure, give me a sec to find the code
AA: hollahollaget$
AA: ...
AA: thats just stupid
FA: ---O ...totally
FA: ---O still THANKS
AA: your welcome!
FA: ---O im totally gonna CREATE like FIVE COMPUTERS
AA: Five? Thats more than any sensible person would need
FA: ---O well ILL be in CONTACT FOREVER then
AA: bluh, but have fun with that. if you excuse me Mark finaly finished what he was supposed to do and I have a race to win!
AA: Looking forward to that
AA: See you at the finish line!
FA: ---O bluh bluh huge LIES
FA: ---O LATER
-- apotropaicAntithesis [AA] ceased pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at ??:?? --

It was on. More on and you would be flipping polar opposites like the sun wouldn't fucking rise the next day so on it was. First note of buisness though; get your shit sorted out. This alchemisation was too tempting to not try out right now.

As per Marc's instructions, she first sacrificed her only remaining empty card with the code for the laptop. She carved a dowel, and spent 30 build girst and 2 shale for a LAPTOP. Rembering the cross-coding for alchemisation, she immediately sacrificed the card holding her UNFINISHED HOMEMADE DRESS with its code. She &&'d the two, and created the DRESSTOP. A stylish red dress with home computing abilities! Never leave home without at least five.

She equipped the DRESSTOP, letting the CHUNK OF AMBER fly off into a wall somewhere. Annoyed at the limitations of her captchacards, she sacrificed the card holding the JOKERCARD from earlier cards with her mum to create the stupidest code 0000000000; an empty card. She played it safe, creating five and enlarging her inventory. Score for planning ahead.

And now for the big cheese. Combining the UNCOMPLETE DECK OF CARDS with her CRICKET BAT she could create the...

UNCOMPLETE CRICKET BAT

WOW

THIS IS STUPID

She quickly ||'d the entire situation and discovered the DECKMASTER DECKER; a weapon so funkey it changed SYMBOLS and NUMBERS after every hit.

Watch out imps, Amber's on the prowl.

 

[Sam G]

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- prodigiousGunbladery [PG] began pestering miracleWordsmith [MW] at ??:?? --

[img_inline align=left]http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/masdalgred/AngrySam.png[/img_inline][img_inline align=right]http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/masdalgred/AngryKris.png[/img_inline]
PG: Dude; the players ain't posted in days!
MW: Man, you think I don't know that?
MW: I've, tried finding them, on Pesterchum to tell them to get, a, move, on but they're barely ever, online, man
PG: DUUUUDE!
PG: I just had the best idea ever!
PG: This is the closest an idea is ever gonna be able to get to bein' as brilliant as SlendyGaga!
MW: Well what the, fuck is it?
PG: We do the PS intermission.
PG: As in, we do the PS intermission right the fuck now.
MW: Really...?
MW: I guess, we, could
MW: But I thought we, were, saving, that, man
PG: Nah, it's fine! I bet this'll be the kick up the bum that gets the players postin' again, as well!
MW: If, you say, so man. If you, say so
PG: "Say so" is indeed a thing that I do.
-- prodigiousGunbladery [PG] ceased pestering miracleWordsmith [MW] at ??:?? --

>

In his office in the highest tower of Prospit stands a PRISTINE SECRETARY. Though he has been alive for what feels like countless years under the dull, monotonous regime of his LOATHED RULERS, it is today that he has decided to die!

PS hated his life. He hated his job, he hated his bosses, but what he hated most of all was that there was nothing he could do about it. Prospit was a perfect, idyllic world, and the reason for that was that if anyone set a single foot out of line, they would be removed.

PS hated the line. He fucking abhorred that goddamn line. So he was going to set a motherfucking foot outside it; he was going to set his goddamn foot so far outside the line he'd need to bring his passport to get back inside the line. But he wasn't going to get back in line! Fuck "being removed"; things were going to change for the denizens of Prospit. And in the likely event that all did not go according to plan, then at least PS wouldn't have to suffer the same-y tedium of "being removed"; he was going out with a bang. Either way, he wouldn't have to put up with this orderly bullshit any more. Win-win, right?

Spoiler: GM's note

This intermission will be on-going, but the players are allowed (and, indeed, encouraged) to continue posting whilst it is taking place.

 

[SamuelT]

>PS: Step out of line

 

[Sam G]

PS: Step out of line

You don't tell PS what to do. PS TELLS YOU WHAT THE FUCK TO DO.

> Dumb Kid: Choke to death on a mouthful of razor-blades.

Unfortunately, the Dumb Kid cannot choke to death on a mouthful of razor-blades, as then he wouldn't be able to post about the wacky antics of Amber Greenwich! THE DUMB KID IS SURELY FAR TOO BUSY COMPOSING A POST ABOUT AMBER'S ANTICS TO CHOKE ON A MOUTHFUL OF RAZOR-BLADES!

 

[SamuelT]

>Dumb Kid: Act as instructed

The Dumb Kid cannot complete his post on Ambers wacky antics!

He is being assaulted by razor blades!

 

[Sam G]

...Seriously, who the fuck was this kid? Where did he come from? Why was he staring at PS like that? Oh, wait, this was symbolic. None of this was actually happening; it was merely to illustrate what was going on in the kid's mind. Alright then; back to the regicide.

There he was. Bastard. Where were his snaky fangs and his regal staff now, eh? They seemed to go away when he went to sleep; it was probably something to do with the shutting down of the brain deactivating his powers, or something. Yep, the act of going to sleep was definitely the thing that caused them to go away. That was the only possible thing it could be. Which meant when he woke up, shit was going to hit the fan.

He'd better not wake up, then. He'd better not wake up ever again.

The Pristine Secretary hadn't really thought this plan through. The King was here, but the Queen was still up and working; always working, for the livelihood and well-being of her beloved people. *****. She surely wouldn't react well to finding her husband stabbed to death in his bed by the hands of his trusted assistant, but in a way PS kind of looked forward to the sting of her amber-clad fists, and the final jolt of venom coarsing its way through his system. Release; and he got to take one of the bastards along with him when he went. PS couldn't ask for anything better.

The Secretary raised his trusty knife; and as he raised it, he screamed; and as he screamed, the King opened his eyes. Shit. Rather than swiping at PS with his lethal book of philosophy or attempting to breathe poisonous gas at him, however, the White King reached for his night-stand to grab that ring he always wore on his finger. How unusual. Still, PS decided it'd be better for his long-term health if he didn't dwell on it, so he lunged forward and planted his knife between the king's eyes.

Job done. The Pristine Secretary felt a sense of satisfaction, and though he knew this would inevitably lead to his death he didn't feel afraid. There was one thing nagging him, though... why hadn't the king utilized his incredibly deadly arsenal of bizarre and unrelated attacks to defend himself against PS? And why had he reached for the ring, rather than making any moved against his attacker whatsoever?

The Secretary pondered; and, as he pondered, he - almost absent-mindedly - slipped the ring onto his finger.

 

[SamuelT]

<spoiler=SO>Just to keep this thing moving. I had time during INTENSE STUDIES, so I messed with MSPaint a bit.

Curious. All the imps seemed to have vacted her room. Perhaps they were scared away by the Amberqeensprites unquestionable rule. Obviously this is the only explanation that makes sense. All the better; her DRESSTOP would remain untarnished for a while longer!

[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/696/amberdresssmile.png/]
<color=orange>---O so SWEEEEET

She looked around. Her house was dissapointingly the same. Jeffrey must've been busy with his tooth'd laptop. Still though. She had a bet to win! She concidered pestering him for a moment, but he remained stubbornly offline. Perhaps she should pester Mark or something. He'd have some-

[http://www.makeagif.com/gKGTah]

Oh no he didn't.

[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/850/amberbattlescene.png/]

 

[Sir Strange Of The House Lycan]

Mark was outside,chilling and killing imps with various methods of mutilation and decapitation,practicing and perfecting his art for the big boss Eggbert mentioned a while ago.As he was thinking of this,he realized his sprite hadn't talked in a while,or rather...ever...he turned around and looked him for a few seconds before speaking.

Spoiler: Open Spritelog

Er,Hello?
Hey buddy!
OH BUGGERY
You're surprised? I swear I told you about this...
Oh yeah,yeah...sorry man it's just...I didn't expect you to reply,let alone be,y'know,you...
Oh silly! you know I'd never abandon you Mark! you and me bros for life! I go where you go,you walk how I teach you to walk!
heh,yeah man,you and me to the end.So you got anything to say or is this just to make me happy your alive again?
Oh yeah right! well,I can't be as free with information as a sprite,it's against the rules.Sorry about that by the way.
No problem man,you warned me before sprite-tification.
Anyway,I think you're forgetting one very important part of the game,don't you?

Mark followed his little buddies ghostly finger,then facepalmed.How could he have forgotten?

Spoiler: Open Spritelog

Oh,the gates,right.
Yup! better get your server on the pesterchum and ask him to get to work.
Will do man

Mark gave a thumbs up to his old friend before bounding off into the house,but not before being accosted by a gang of imps hanging out on the bottom of the stairs.Their split tongues hissed dangerously above their epic beards of awesome.Their fish tales smacked wetly on the floor back and forth as their gills wheezed slowly.These seemed to only be the foot soldiers though,as standing behind them stood an imp in business wear with a brilliant crown atop of his glorious gas mask.Suddenly,the leader struck his hand forward at Mark and his underlings rushed.The imps clawed and bit at him as he tried to struggle past them,they popped into gushers left and right.When he was close enough,he leaped and brought the ukulele down on his foes head.He popped with a deafening squeal and Mark heard a sudden ding.

Spoiler: 20+ Build grist attained! 40/40 Grist in stock.

Smiling and pleased with himself,Mark continued to ascend to his room,before jumping on his chair and bringing up a chat with Kegan.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 20:52 --
CL: Keegaan?
EM: Yes?
CL: IIs AAmbeer ruunniing yoouu raaw oor aaree yoouu gooood too staart buuiildiing my staaiirwaay too heeaaveen?
EM: A little bit of column A, a little bit of column b.
CL: Meeaaniing yoouu caan buuiild haalfwaay buut neeeed too geet baack too woork.
EM: Sherlock Holmes on the job.
CL: IIndeeeed Waatsoon.
CL: AAnywaay,yoouu knoow thee liittlee liights aaboovee oouur hoouusees?
EM: Yes. If this was a game without doubt we would have to somehow reach it.
CL: Biingoo.
CL: IIt aand seeveeraal ootheers liikee iit.
CL: Noot suuree wheeree theey leeaad.
CL: Buut iit's oouur oonee waay tiickeet oouut oof vooiid toown.
EM: I guess I have to start building your house up.
EM: A little hard work never killed anyone...
EM: But why take the chance?!
-- exceptionallyMean [EM] ceased pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 20:58 --

Mark fumed to himself quietly for a little bit,waiting until Kegan would stop being a dick and call back.Just before he went to click Kegan's name again,he replied.Typical,waiting to the last minute to spite him.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- exceptionallyMean [EM] began pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 20:59 --
EM: Nah, just kidding.
CL: AAh kaay
CL: Foor aa seecoond theeree yoouu haad mee gooiing
CL: AAssmuunch.
CL: AAnywaay,II'vee doonee iit foor Claarriissaa uusiing laaddeers aand leeveels.
CL: Buut knoowiing yoouu,yoouur proobaaly gooiing too maakee iit oouut oof aa seeriiees oof haarsh sloopees.
EM: I'll get to building. You'll have a lot of stairs to climb.
EM: I'll make a point out of putting them as inefficiently as possible.
CL: NOOT SOO FAAST BUUCKOO
CL: Staaiirs aaree riidiicuuloouusly eexpeensiivee.
CL: II preefeer thee sloopees.
EM: Kay, 45 degree slopes should do the job.
CL: Yoouu'ree aa diick.
CL: Thoouugh II coouuld scaalee wiith some blaadeed uukuuleelees...
EM: Not at all.
EM: This me caring for you.
EM: For your fitness.
CL: OOh fiinee,juust staart thaat shiit.
EM: I'm doing this because I care about your health. You're just too vain to see beyond that.
EM: Alas, perhaps one day you'll appreciate what I'm doing for you.
CL: Caan II aat leeaast haavee sooiimee stoops oon my waay too aasceentiioon?
EM: Yeah, how about a spiked floor?
CL: Noo spiikees iin my hoouusee!
EM: Blah, fine.
CL: Juust leet's saay 10 meetrees oof veertiicaal cliimb.
CL: Flaat suurfaacee stoop.
CL: AAnootheer 10.
CL: EEct eect
EM: Nah. 10 -> 11 -> 12 -> etc etc.
EM: You need to keep pushing yourself, bro
CL: ...
CL: Fiinee.
CL: Geet thaat shiit seet uup.
EM: Done... and done.
EM: Too bad we don't have grist to spare on fancy architecture.
CL: ...
CL: Whaat diid yoouu doo.
EM: A few 45 degree slopes.
EM: Look outside.
CL: Good.
CL: Daamn.
CL: Thaat's goonnaa bee tiiriing.
CL: OOkaay,Thaanks Keegaan.
CL: Taalk too yoouu iin aa biit.
EM: You can thank me for not putting descending escalators.
EM: Though not yet... this building menu might have them...
CL: ...
-- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 21:09 --

Mark looked outside at the monstrous climb Kegan had built for him and sighed with an air of failure.He trod outside slowly and exacted the process which allowed him to create a second Bladed ukulele,then got an idea.He stuck an empty captchalogue card into the machine and took the card to the lathe,then got to work alchemizing.He smiled as the price came up,1 grist per card,and he only had five left.He alechemized the cards and equipped them,becoming very very pleased with himself.He then realized he would be able to climb the walls and still talk to his friends back in the house.So he ran upstairs and captchalogued his desktop then ran downstairs,before removing his signature red coat,revealing the black waistcoat underneath.He used the || method,learning from the Fantasy Songblade incident,and took it to the alchemiter.He found however,it was one echeladder level from his grasp.

"Well,Fuck,Better get to work"

 

[Zirat]

NO TALENT FUCKASS: MAKE A POST AND STOP HOLDING UP PROGRESS!

Clarissa was having one hell of a time with trying to Alchematize useful weapons or useful... just about anything! She started with a basic Shovel X Shovel... which resulted in a normal shovel. This was quickly discarded and she tried again. Next thing she attempted was to weaponize a solid silver Anchor that Pop had in his study, the reasoning for that was beyond her but it was probably best not to think about his ways too much, it usually gave her a headache. The ornate thing looked heavy enough to cause some damage, and she may as well give it a whirl.

After putting the card in as well as another shovel what came out was... nothing, turns out that she couldnt afford whatever the hell this was going to be. Oh joy, it's fucking nothing. Beautiful.

In a last ditch effort to get anything that could help her get an edge in this game she grabbed the next thing at random, a deck of cards, and decided to test her luck with that. After a brief delay something was finally produced.


The Ace of Spades!

Excited she hefted her new weapon... and wasn't too surprised to find that it had the same feel as her old one, but that didn't come too much of a surprise, a shovel is still a shovel. She Decided to take it for a test run against a few imps, they fell down to a few blows... after a few runs she came to conclusion, this was just a gaudy version of her regular weapon. Holding the Ace of Spades in one hand and her regular and trusty shovel in the other she judged both and came to a conclusion; Alchematization if freakin' useless for her weapons.

Like she meant before, you cant really improve a shovel... it's a stick with a chunk of metal at the end. The only thing you can do is make it look fancier. She captchalogued the surplus shovel, it may as well be useful as an ugly backup or something. Taking one last glance at her inventory, having packed the essentials such as water, a survival kit she took from an emergency self in the kitchen, laptop, and her backup hat. Everything essential for survival wherever the hell she could be going.

Next stop... Skaia! She thought triumphantly as she began to ascend the steps, shovel at the ready to punish whatever got in her way... or looked annoying to her.

 

[Voukras]

Steady progress was being made in the imp slapping tournament, the sprite was occasionally lending a hand philosophizing with the imps and confudazzling them with his philosophical prowess, it was prototyped with an Epicurus bust after all. How the imps are able to grasp both English and Greek is something beyond Kegan's understanding. IT'S A MYSTERY. Kegan grabs his dad's pipe. Perhaps it's time for Kegan Holmes to investiga-- Pesterchum... Lovely.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 20:52 --
CL: Keegaan?
EM: Yes?
CL: IIs AAmbeer ruunniing yoouu raaw oor aaree yoouu gooood too staart buuiildiing my staaiirwaay too heeaaveen?
EM: A little bit of column A, a little bit of column b.
CL: Meeaaniing yoouu caan buuiild haalfwaay buut neeeed too geet baack too woork.
EM: Sherlock Holmes on the job.
CL: IIndeeeed Waatsoon.
CL: AAnywaay,yoouu knoow thee liittlee liights aaboovee oouur hoouusees?
EM: Yes. If this was a game without doubt we would have to somehow reach it.
CL: Biingoo.
CL: IIt aand seeveeraal ootheers liikee iit.
CL: Noot suuree wheeree theey leeaad.
CL: Buut iit's oouur oonee waay tiickeet oouut oof vooiid toown.
EM: I guess I have to start building your house up.
EM: A little hard work never killed anyone...
EM: But why take the chance?!
-- exceptionallyMean [EM] ceased pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 20:58 --

Kegan assumed a more comfortable position, hands underneath his head, laid back, let out the best smugface he could, and decided to wait a bit. Let it sink in.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- exceptionallyMean [EM] began pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 20:59 --
EM: Nah, just kidding.
CL: AAh kaay
CL: Foor aa seecoond theeree yoouu haad mee gooiing
CL: AAssmuunch.
CL: AAnywaay,II'vee doonee iit foor Claarriissaa uusiing laaddeers aand leeveels.
CL: Buut knoowiing yoouu,yoouur proobaaly gooiing too maakee iit oouut oof aa seeriiees oof haarsh sloopees.
EM: I'll get to building. You'll have a lot of stairs to climb.
EM: I'll make a point out of putting them as inefficiently as possible.
CL: NOOT SOO FAAST BUUCKOO
CL: Staaiirs aaree riidiicuuloouusly eexpeensiivee.
CL: II preefeer thee sloopees.
EM: Kay, 45 degree slopes should do the job.
CL: Yoouu'ree aa diick.
CL: Thoouugh II coouuld scaalee wiith some blaadeed uukuuleelees...
EM: Not at all.
EM: This me caring for you.
EM: For your fitness.
CL: OOh fiinee,juust staart thaat shiit.
EM: I'm doing this because I care about your health. You're just too vain to see beyond that.
EM: Alas, perhaps one day you'll appreciate what I'm doing for you.
CL: Caan II aat leeaast haavee sooiimee stoops oon my waay too aasceentiioon?
EM: Yeah, how about a spiked floor?
CL: Noo spiikees iin my hoouusee!
EM: Blah, fine.
CL: Juust leet's saay 10 meetrees oof veertiicaal cliimb.
CL: Flaat suurfaacee stoop.
CL: AAnootheer 10.
CL: EEct eect
EM: Nah. 10 -> 11 -> 12 -> etc etc.
EM: You need to keep pushing yourself, bro
CL: ...
CL: Fiinee.
CL: Geet thaat shiit seet uup.
EM: Done... and done.
EM: Too bad we don't have grist to spare on fancy architecture.
CL: ...
CL: Whaat diid yoouu doo.
EM: A few 45 degree slopes.
EM: Look outside.
CL: Good.
CL: Daamn.
CL: Thaat's goonnaa bee tiiriing.
CL: OOkaay,Thaanks Keegaan.
CL: Taalk too yoouu iin aa biit.
EM: You can thank me for not putting descending escalators.
EM: Though not yet... this building menu might have them...
CL: ...
-- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 21:09 --

Again a rush of smugness took over Kegan. He grinned slightly after looking at the endurance course he built for Mark and seeing his resigned face. Truly what is best in life. If smugness was a radiation, Kegan would be Chernobyl. In celebration, Kegan took a sip of imaginary wine and --pesterchum, jeez this is the most annoying program ever.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 22:02 --
FA: ---O hey KEGAN
EM: Yes...?
FA: ---O i FINISHED building
FA: ---O your ASCEND to the FIRST GATE is OPENED
EM: Good, poking imps gets old.
FA: ---O little BASTARDS destroyed my COMPUTER
EM: But I'm guessing till I hit the top I'll have to poke a lot more imps...
FA: ---O oh YES the entire CONSTRUCTION is SWARMED WITH IMPS
FA: ---O and WORSE
EM: Worse? I've had worse. It's called a butler.
FA: ---O butlers arent SIX METERS high SMARTASS B)
EM: Yeah, they are a lot more concentrated in terms of raw pain.
EM: Did you perchance prototype your sprite a second time...?
FA: ---O yesssss!
FA: ---O SHES a PRETTY QUEEN made of AMBER NOW
EM: And...? Please do elaborate.
EM: That's nice.
EM: Does she do anything useful?
FA: ---O she RULES over...
FA: ---O well my ROOM
FA: ---O but it KEEPS the IMPS AWAY
EM: What, are they magically repulsed by her or does she just beat them up?
FA: ---O i dunno THEY just DONT ENTER my ROOM ANYMORE
FA: ---O though that might be BECAUSE im BAETING THEM by the DROVES
EM: I was thinking...
EM: These sprites are here to help us, right?
FA: ---O i THINK SO
EM: Well mine hasn't been helpful. At all.
EM: Might be because it speaks in Greek.
FA: ---O did you DROP TWO things IN IT?
EM: It does distract the imps though, they can somehow understand him. Well, a mystery for another time...
EM: No, that's what I was getting at...
EM: How about... throwing the butler into the sprite?
EM: That could force him to help me...
FA: ---O WOULDNT he MIND? :O
FA: ---O last time HE pretty much KICKED YOUR ASS
EM: Well, I don't think I can prototype my sprite with anything else that will make it useful.
EM: If the theorycraft is right, and sprites are bound to help us
EM: Then two birds, one stone.
FA: ---O well YOURE the GAMING EXPERT here
EM: If not then one stone that lands back in my face.
FA: ---O if you THINK itll HELP you should GO FOR IT
EM: Yes, let's be reckless.
EM: Isn't that what playable characters do in games?
FA: ---O pretty MUCH
FA: ---O ooh! DID YOU try this ALCHEMISATION already?
EM: Yeah. I made an iron foolpoker. Sounds like a downgrade at first.
EM: But take a look at it. Looks a lot more painful than the foolslapper.
EM: Well I'm going to go ahead and put in motion my suicida-erm, brilliant plan.
FA: ---O heh ILL BE keeping an EYE OUT in case your BUTLER needs a quick BAETING with a CHAIR OR SOMETHING
EM: Thanks.
EM: Off I go to my doo- erm, victory.
-- exceptionallyMean [EM] ceased pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at 22:25 --

The idea of throwing his Butler into the sprite was beginning to sound increasingly bad. But, hell, no guts, no glory. Kegan managed to get the sprite to follow him and called for the butler. He beckoned the Butler to take a look at this sprite. While the Butler was closely examining the sprite, Kegan took a few steps back, built a bit of momentum and shouldered the Butler into the sprite. The fusion caused a blinding flash of light. The newly created Butlersprite now floated meacingly over the floor, slightly hunched forward, arms inert. He quickly assumed his normal dignified stance.

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

[color=660000]BUTLERSPRITE: You..., you degenerate! This is unacceptable.[/color]
KEGAN: Do you feel an overwhelming desire to physically hurt me?
[color=660000]BUTLERSPRITE: Yes...[/color]
KEGAN: Since my jaw hasn't been dislocated, then it was a success. Sprites are obligated to help players.
[color=660000]BUTLERSPRITE: Unfortunately, you are right.[/color]
KEGAN: Ha, after years of abiding by your stupid house rules, what a turnabout.

Kegan was ready to assume his usual smug demeanor before being promptly slapped by the Butler.

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

[color=660000]BUTLERSPRITE: Don't push your luck, boyo. Get going to the portal before I decide that sprite policy isn't all that important.[/color]
KEGAN: Fine, oh master of overreaction.
[color=660000]BUTLERSPRITE: Watch it...[/color]