Yeh, this seems to be going pretty well. Most people're in the Medium, some guys are starting to get into the swing of alchemising stuff. A few dudes have been lost, but Revolverwolf accounted for that at the start. Things can continue on just as well as before. Better, even.
Revolverwolf thinks it is about time to check on the status of the RP, using that internet browser that he didn't totally forget to put on his desktop and now can't be bothered to go back and fix because seriously are you fucking joking? Funny joke guys. Hah.
Suddenly the AMBERCAM and SHIPPING WALL short out and the internet goes off.
"ROUT3R DISCONN3CT3D: 1NT3RN3T D1S4BL3D >:["
OH SWEET JESUS WHAT!?
> Router: Be A Useless Piece Of Shit
The router succeeds, increasing it's USELESS SHITOMETER RANKING and rising up in it's personal ECHELADDER to the rank of INEFFICIENT INTERWEB INTERMEDIARY. Boondollars and gel viscosity are wasted on it's meagre INTELLITUDE stat; the router simply does not understand these gaming abstractions! Nevertheless, the PORKHOLLOW squeals with joy.
> ==>
The router finds itself sailing majestically through the air, crashing gracefully through Revolverwolf's window and landing with an almighty splash in the nearby pool. All the nearby imps thought it was fantastic.
Thus ends the greatest thing to happen in the RP's meta-history to date.
> Be Sam. Update the RP
Exactly as specified, you become Derek Elmers.
Oh... Oh my...
Well... this is awkward...
I suppose you can not be Derek Elmers, because Derek Elmers is too busy being dead...
After the succesful trouncing of the imp you mourn the loss of one of her trusty appliances; the computer. Well, the monitor anyway. And the mouse. No need to have an over the top goodbye scene or anything like that. That would just be silly.
Even more stupid was the abscence of her server player; Jeffrey. She promptly marched out of her room, beckoning the AMBERQUEENSPRITE to follow her, who was obviously peeved at the prospect of leaving her queendom alone. Although Amber was pleasantly surprised. A hole was poked right through her roof, and a staircase lead neatly through it. Jeffrey HADN'T been ignoring her in a life threatening situation. How thoughtful.
She climbed the staircase, finding it lead to a platform. A sort of castle-like construction reached just short of the first gate. Gotta love the guy that loves the classics. She tried pestering the guy that loves the classics, but he was still stubbornly abscent. Out of frustration she pestered the allknowing.
Mark.
In case you didn't get that.
<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering creativeLoon [CL] at ??:?? -- FA: ---O um MARK? CL: Yees AAmbeer? FA: ---O have you been IN TOUCH with JEFFREY? he seems ABSCENT CL: ... CL: Yoouu haaveen't guueesseed by noow? FA: ---O oh nooooo CL: Hee's veery veery veery veery veery liikeely... CL: Weell... CL: Hoow doo II puut thiis geently. CL: Moortaal Cooiileess. FA: ---O :'( CL: Hiis eentiiree neeuughboouur iis liikeely aa laargee craateer by noow. CL: Yoouu ookaay AAmbeer? FA: ---O well NOT REALLY CL: Weell,doon't breeaak doown oon mee. CL: Peeooplee weeree gooiing too diiee iin thiis. CL: Theey aalwaays weeree. CL: IIt waas aalwaays aa poossiibiiliity. FA: ---O i know but STILL CL: AAmbeer,doon't thiink oof whaat wee'ree loosiing. CL: Thiink oof Skaaiiaa. CL: Thiink oof thee uultiimaatee reewaard. CL: Thee greeaateest treeaasuuree eeveer. FA: ---O yeah but JEFFREY was a GOOD PAL CL: Jeeffreey waas thee beest paal. FA: ---O BEST friend FA: ---O no STINKING SKAIA will ever MAKE UP for that CL: Buut stiill, wee aaree kiindaa oon aa deeaadliine heeree. CL: ... CL: Aam? CL: II reeaallly doon't knoow whaat eelsee too saay. FA: ---O i guess OTHER FRIENDS also need me NOW right? CL: Yeeaah CL: Keegaan neeeeds yoouu. CL: Yoouur thee oonyl oonee whoo caan heelp hiim aasceend. CL: Wee aall neeeed eeaach ootheer. CL: Wee caan't staay aat hoomee fooreeveer. FA: ---O yes! i should keep my STIFF UPPER LIP :') CL: Thaat's thee spiiriit! FA: ---O alright so...how do I ASCEND? FA: ---O JEFFREY was my SERVER CL: Weell... CL: Deereek iis veery liikeely deeaad. CL: Neeiil,aalsoo veery liikeely deeaad. CL: Soo... CL: Doonniiee oof Claariissaa. FA: ---O hmm CL: II caan't saay muuch foor thee staatee oof Doonniiee's moortaal cooiil... FA: ---O i hope hes ALRIGHT CL: Wee aall doo,. CL: Buut aall wee caan doo noow. CL: IIs buuiild oouurseelvees iintoo eemootiioonaal juuggeernaauuts CL: Wee juust haavee too beeaat thee gaamee. CL: AAnd soomeethiign teells mee iit wiill aall bee woorth iit iin thee eend. FA: ---O i HOPE SO CL: AAll thee deeaaths,thee deestruuctiioon oof eeaarth,thee scaars meentaal aand physiicaal wee wiill aall suuffeer. CL: IIt's aall woorth iit iin thee eend. FA: ---O so how SHOULD we DO THIS? do you have a SPARE CD or SOMETHING? CL: Doo whaat? CL: Seervee? FA: ---O yes I dont think C got ANOTHER CD LAYING AROUND FA: ---O and YOURE the OMNIGENIUS CL: ... CL: Pooiint... FA: ---O perhaps I should ask AMBERQUEEN CL: Shee miight bee aa beetteer soouurcee. FA: ---O alright ILL DO THAT NOW CL: AAll II caan thiink iis thaat yoouu aalcheemiizee aa diisk. FA: ---O oh YEAH CL: Wee coouuld aalwaays doo aa daangeeroouus chaaiin breeaak... FA: ---O lets do AS LITTLE DANGEROUS things as POSSIBLE okay? CL: Mee oor Keegaan seerveer yoouu iinsteeaad oof Claariissaa... FA: ---O no more DYING HERE CL: Faaiir eenoouugh. CL: Yoouu goonnaa bee gooood too coontiinuuee? CL: Yoouu goonnaa keeeep fiightiing? FA: ---O yes I AM CL: Fuuck yeeaah yoouu aaree. FA: ---O B) CL: Geet oouut theeree aand muurdeer iimps foor mee. CL: AAnd foor Jeereemy. CL: AAnd foor eeveerythiing eelsee thiis gaamee aand theey wiill puut uus throouugh. CL: Keeeep oon fiightiing tiill thee fuuckiign eend. CL: Taalk too yoouu laateer AAmbeer CL: =) FA: ---O LATER -- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at ??:?? --
She turned to the AMBERQUEENSPRITE.
<spoiler=Show Spritelog><color=yellow>AS: *shrug* FA: ---O OH COME THE FUCK ON
The face of the SPRITE remained stoic and regal, like a queen should.
<spoiler=Show Spritelog><color=yellow>AS: We are sorry, but we cannot provide you with any information you deem important. We are a game construct now. We have to abide by certain limitations. FA: ---O well i UNDERSTAND that BUT IM in kinda a FRITZ now FA: ---O cant you LIKE FA: ---O DROP me SOME HINTS or STUFF?
<color=yellow>AS: Like we said before
AS: *Shrug*
With a defiant expression, Amber looked towards the spire that was ended just a few meters short of the first gate. Forget the sprite, forget the server. You are just gonna stack junk upon junk until you reach that damn gate even if it's the last thing you'll ever do!
Collapsing on his bed,Mark contemplated his navel for a little bit and wondered if Skaia would really be worth it.If it was the ultimate reward Eggbert was claiming.The strange little sprite sat at the foot his bed while he lay down,and looked at him softly.He smiled at the guardian and brother who had being looking after him for most of his life.Deciding he had enough peace for the time being,Mark wandered outside,seeing the singular imp in his doorway.
If I don't ascend after killing this little bastard,I'll eat my coat,and with that he span one of his Bladed Ukuleles at the Imp,seeking to decapitate it.Instead,the Ukulele got halfway through it and then just kinda got stuck.Sighing,Mark walked over and pulled the ukulele out and brought it down hard on the imps neck,causing a squeal,a pop and the ding of a echeladder ascension.
With only the portable computer coat in mind,Mark went on a killing spree,annihilating every imp with his house and purging parts of his garden in search of grist.When he obtained all he could,he ran back to the alchemiter with totem he needed for the upgrade,stuck it on the pedestal and initiated alchemization resulting in...THE COTTARDIS! OH HELL YES!
This thing is awesome,the pockets are as deep as a hardrive has memory,which is a little stupid as you'd need a spelunker to get it back out.There's a keyboard on the motherfuckin' sleeve! this is awesome! and the screen is...located on the coat flap...not so cool,but still a little cool!
He realized that Amber was pestering him,and realized that she pro0bably needed use of his unrealized genius.That's a joke,hee hee hoo hoo haa haa.Anyway,time to test this mother out,he flipped the back of the coat over head,and puzzled over how he was going to choose what icons,when he suddenly felt a stinging sensation in the back of his neck.
"Oh! mother of fuck!"
The cursor on the screen started to move to pesterchum and clicked when he thought about it,and then moved and clicked on the answer bar of the pesterchum window. Okay,that's pretty fucking sweet
-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 20:54 -- FA: ---O um MARK? CL: Yees AAmbeer? FA: ---O have you been IN TOUCH with JEFFREY? he seems ABSCENT CL: ... CL: Yoouu haaveen't guueesseed by noow? FA: ---O oh nooooo CL: Hee's veery veery veery veery veery liikeely... CL: Weell... CL: Hoow doo II puut thiis geently. FA: ---O METEOR SHOWERED? CL: Moortaal Cooiileess. FA: ---O :'( CL: Hiis eentiiree neeuughboouur iis liikeely aa laargee craateer by noow. CL: Yoouu ookaay AAmbeer? FA: ---O well NOT REALLY CL: Weell,doon't breeaak doown oon mee. CL: Peeooplee weeree gooiing too diiee iin thiis. CL: Theey aalwaays weeree. CL: IIt waas aalwaays aa poossiibiiliity. FA: ---O i know but STILL CL: AAmbeer,doon't thiink oof whaat wee'ree loosiing. CL: Thiink oof Skaaiiaa. CL: Thiink oof thee uultiimaatee reewaard. CL: Thee greeaateest treeaasuuree eeveer. FA: ---O yeah but JEFFREY was a GOOD PAL CL: Jeeffreey waas thee beest paal. FA: ---O no STINKING SKAIA will ever MAKE UP for that FA: ---O BEST friend FA: ---O but i guess OTHER FRIENDS also need me NOW right? CL: II reeaallly doon't knoow whaat too saay. CL: Yeeaah CL: Keegaan neeeeds yoouu. CL: Yoouur thee oonyl oonee whoo caan heelp hiim aasceend. CL: Wee aall neeeed eeaach ootheer. FA: ---O yes! i should keep my STIFF UPPER LIP :') CL: Wee caan't staay aat hoomee fooreeveer. CL: Thaat's thee spiiriit! FA: ---O alright so...how do I ASCEND? FA: ---O JEFFREY was my SERVER CL: Weell... CL: Deereek iis veery liikeely deeaad. CL: Neeiil,aalsoo veery liikeely deeaad. CL: Soo... CL: Doonniiee oof Claariissaa. FA: ---O hmm CL: II caan't saay muuch foor thee staatee oof Doonniiee's moortaal cooiil... FA: ---O i hope hes ALRIGHT CL: Wee aall doo,. CL: Buut aall wee caan doo noow. CL: IIs buuiild oouurseelvees iintoo eemootiioonaal juuggeernaauuts CL: Wee juust haavee too beeaat thee gaamee. CL: AAnd soomeethiign teells mee iit wiill aall bee woorth iit iin thee eend. FA: ---O i HOPE SO CL: AAll thee deeaaths,thee deestruuctiioon oof eeaarth,thee scaars meentaal aand physiicaal wee wiill aall suuffeer. CL: IIt's aall woorth iit iin thee eend. FA: ---O so how SHOULD we DO THIS? do you have a SPARE CD or SOMETHING? CL: Doo whaat? CL: Seervee? FA: ---O yes I dont think C got ANOTHER CD LAYING AROUND FA: ---O and YOURE the OMNIGENIUS CL: ... CL: Pooiint... FA: ---O perhaps I should ask AMBERQUEEN CL: Shee miight bee aa beetteer soouurcee. CL: AAll II caan thiink iis thaat yoouu aalcheemiizee aa diisk. FA: ---O alright ILL DO THAT NOW FA: ---O oh YEAH CL: Wee coouuld aalwaays doo aa daangeeroouus chaaiin breeaak... CL: Mee oor Keegaan seerveer yoouu iinsteeaad oof Claariissaa... FA: ---O lets do AS LITTLE DANGEROUS things as POSSIBLE okay? FA: ---O no more DYING HERE CL: Faaiir eenoouugh. CL: Yoouu goonnaa bee gooood too coontiinuuee? CL: Yoouu goonnaa keeeep fiightiing? FA: ---O yes I AM CL: Fuuck yeeaah yoouu aaree. FA: ---O B) CL: Geet oouut theeree aand muurdeer iimps foor mee. CL: AAnd foor Jeereemy. CL: AAnd foor eeveerythiing eelsee thiis gaamee aand theey wiill puut uus throouugh. CL: Keeeep oon fiightiing tiill thee fuuckiign eend. CL: Taalk too yoouu laateer AAmbeer CL: =) FA: ---O LATER -- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at 21:05 --
Satisfied with the fact that he had demoralized and remoralized Amber in the same chat,he started to think to his client player.He opened the Sburb window on his computer with the help of his new mentally controlled mouse cursor and checked on Clarissa,seeing that she was faffing about with and failing at alchemization.Opening Pesterchum,he started to talk to her.
-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at 20:02 -- CL: Juust waas waatchiign yoouu faaffiing aaroouund wiith aalceehmiizaatiioon. CL: AAssuumiing yoouu'ree juust throowiing thaat oouut thee wiindoow? AA: Hmm AA: Considering saving this piece of trash for an occasion CL: Faaiir eenoouugh CL: AAnywaay,haas Doonniiee taalkeed too yoouu laateely? AA: ... AA: Now that I think of it AA: he hasnt CL: ...IIt maay bee aa tiimee too staart woorryiing aaboouut hiis moortaal cooiil... AA: No AA: I mean AA: He's a pretty resourceful guy CL: ... AA: ANd he's avoided the meteors, he should be in the clear shouldnt he? CL: Wee caan't aall bee aas muuch oof aa fuuckiign meentaaliist aas yoouu Claarriissaa. CL: Doonniiee waas uusiing hooseekiind. CL: Thaat iisn't gooiing too bee veery eeffeectiivee aagaaiinst iimps wiithoouut soomee kiind oof uupgraadee. AA: You seen him whip that around? CL: Theeree's aalwaays thee chaancee aan oogree oor aa moob oof iimps tooook hiim oouut. AA: I think he can handle himself CL: Theeree's oonly soo muuch aa hooseepiipee caan doo. CL: AAnd oouu'vee seeeen,fiirst fuuckiing haand whaat OOgrees caan doo. CL: Whaat siizee theey aaree. AA: yeah AA: I'm still sore from that CL: AAnd yoouu weeree uusiing aa shooveel. AA: But his sprites together, so that should keep him out of extreme danger right? CL: AA blaadeed weeaapoon wiith aa meetaal eedgee. CL: ... CL: Whaat diid yoouu prootootypee hiis spriitee wiith? AA: A giant statue of his dad and a dead fish CL: ... CL: Hoow weell doo yoouu thiink thaat's gooiing too doo aagaaiinst OOgrees? AA: Good enough CL: Weell,wee caan oonly hoopee. CL: AAnywaay,yoouu goonnaa aasceend noow? AA: Was just starting that CL: Weell,bee caareefuul. AA: These imps and ogres arent getting in my way, ESPECIALLY now with this supposed great treaure on the line CL: Wee doon't neeeed mooree deeaaths CL: "OOn thee liinee"? AA: Hmm? AA: Oh yeah AA: didnt fill you in CL: Fiill mee iin oon whaat? AA: Me and Amber having a competition, first one to reach Skaia or whatever has complete rights CL: ... CL: II'm preetty suuree thaat's noot hoow Skaaiiaa woorks. CL: Thee whoolee thiings suuppooseed too bee aa groouup eeffoort too geet theeree. CL: Foor thee uultiimaatee reewaard. AA: Exactly CL: AA SHAAREED uultiimaatee reewaard. AA: Hey, I probably wont keep it all to myself CL: Yoouu doon't uundeerstaand. AA: But if I get there first I can do what I want, posession is 9\10ths of the law and all that garbage CL: IIt's noot soomee iiteem. CL: Soomee goold oor triinkeet. CL: IIt's pooweer. CL: Thee uultiimaatee reewaard. AA: ... AA: Still doesnt sound too diffrent CL: Yoouu caan't claaiim moost oof aa pooweer. AA: THen all or nothing, eh? CL: Yoouu geet yoouur buurst oof pooweer. CL: AAnd theen yoouur friieends geet theeiir buurst oof pooweer. CL: II'll leeaavee yoouu too aasceend. AA: And where are you hearing this from? AA: You eggy friend? CL: Taalk too yoouu laateer Claaiiree. CL: Yeep AA: Either way, I'll see that when I get there CL: Byee. AA: See you at the finish line -- apotropaicAntithesis [AA] ceased pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 20:13 --
Frustarted with Clarrissa's attitude,Mark kicked the wall,before flipping the coat back over his head and turning to face the glorious climb Kegan had made for him.He got an idea...if the Cottardis's pockets were infintely large,would a ukuele's strings be infinetly long?
He smiled and ran down stairs,checking the Cottardis's and his broken ukulele's codes and stick to empy captchalogue cards in,then repeating for the || method.going through the motions,he arrived at the alchemiter with the all glorious totem in array.He attemped to alchemize it,but had to little in the way of grist.Mark sighed with frustration,then equipped both his Bladed ukulele's and went on a murder marathon,returning with the required 55 grist.
Waiting a second to hype the resultant alchemization up to himself.Then did it got the POCKETSPACE SHOOTALELE! Something that's really useful! By combining the pocket-space of the Coattardis with the strings of the shitty broken ukulele,the strings are now capable of extending to great lengths like a hookshot with a blunt round thing at the end! The blunt round thing seems to be a mouse...the place where the hole would be is a screen and there are keys along the neck.
This. IS
[HEADING=1]AWESOME[/HEADING]
He walked outside,took out one of his bladed ukulele's and threw it as high as he could.Happily,it lodged in the wall and stuck firmly.He removed the Shootalele and held it in his right hand,,while holding the other bladed ukulele in his left hand.Raising shootalele to face the stuck object,clicked the button on the side that sent the grappling mouse flying through the sky then wrapping itself round,then pressed the second button that pull him up.The Bladed ukulele in left hand was lobbed higher then himself,firing the shootalele again to prepare to pull himself up,yanking the first ukulele out of the wall first.Repeating this process,Mark began to ascend further and further.
While he was climbing,some imps looked down at him from above the first platform.Suddenly,they started to throw themselves off at him,gnashing and clawing on there way down.To evade them,Mark began to sling around on the shootalele's cord,on which one landed and started nibbling.The Imp popped when the Mark threw the next bladed ukuele at him,then fired hookshotted his way to continuing avoiding the imps as they continued to throw themselves suicidally at him.One managed to grab onto the back of the Cottardis and bite at Mark's legs,take a few centimeters off his health vial.Kicking out at the little bastard,Mark continued to ascend.
When he reached the first platform,he had hordes of imps and an ogre to contend with.He grimaced and gripped the shootalele and his weapon of choice tight.The Ogre suddenly found the hook shot around it's neck,as Mark used it to pull himself towards the ogre.At the optimun moment of impact,Mark brought the bladed down hard on the ogre's face,causing it to roar at him in pain.It swatted him,sending him flying backwards away from the collasal beast.However,the shootalele was still wrapped around it's neck,allowing Mark to pull himself back around the ogre and start hacking at it's neck.When he reached out to pull him off again,he sliced and slashed at it's fingers,causing a few to fall off.Satified with this attack on the ogres neck,he jumped back down and swang around from underneath and through it's legs,landing on it's face and attacking it's eyes,blinding it,then cut away it the sides of it's mouth,making it grin permanently from ear to ear.Preparing to finish it off,Mark swang back around underneath the Ogre and lodged the bladed into it's chest as he went down,causing a long wound going all the way from it's chest to the small of it's back.Launching himself from the back,he pulled out on the Shootalele,causing,due to severe neck wounds and tightness of the cable,decapitation in the Ogre while as well as strangling.
He grabbed the resultant spoils,then turned to the hoard of imps fast approuching,and,with a look of steely determination,charged while screaming blood murder.
There's no way Amber's gonna lug all kinds of miscellaneous stuff up there to reach the first gate. She'd fall down from exaustion before she got half way.
Shame. She feels a bit lost with the lack of any server, or any friends for that matter. Mark wasn't all that helpful, though giving her a reason not to lock up with despair and sadness was a nice move of the guy. She wonders if there are any other chums available to talk to..
<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:?? -- FA: ---O um KEGAN? EM: Yea? FA: ---O REMEMBER jeffrey? EM: What about that jerkass? EM: Still having problems with his router or whatever? FA: ---O hes DEAD prick EM: What. FA: ---O he didnt MAKE IT into the GAME EM: How do you know? FA: ---O well hes not RESPONDING FA: ---O hes not SERVERING FA: ---O and MARK told me EM: Maybe imps devoured his computer. EM: But that doesn't bode well either, if he can't connect, he can't evade the meteor... EM: Shit, this seems less of a game now. FA: ---O i know AND its pretty SAD EM: I'm not really good at eulogies... FA: ---O but i guess WE CANT really HELP HIM NOW FA: ---O so we NEED to PLAY ON EM: The only thing we can do is find out why this thing is happening in the first place. FA: ---O yesssss REACH SKAIA EM: We've wasted enough time dicking around. We need to get serious now. FA: ---O and THERE i NEED SOME help FA: ---O seeing as JEFF cant SERVE ANYMORE... FA: ---O i cant reach the first GATE EM: Don't tell me he was your server... FA: ---O he was EM: Got anything planned? EM: I'm wondering if two server applications can run at once... FA: ---O well i THOUGHT of PILING STUFF to reach it FA: ---O but he DID kind of BUILD A BIG ASS TOWER FA: ---O cant get anything up TOP :I FA: ---O i thought perhaps SOMEONE ELSE could run a SECOND SERVER yeah FA: ---O but i cant ALCHEMISE a SECOND DISK and no one has a SECOND DISK EM: We could just try copying it to a normal disk. EM: Let me go try this. -- feistyAthlete [FA] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:?? --
In the meantime, Amber peeked through the arched entry into the tower. It was nothing but a giant stone shell with a single round staircase leading all the way up. No wonder she was so low on girst; stairways were expensive. That's why she'd given Kegan ample ramps and ladders. She hoped he appreciated her effort, at the very least. Oh, there he is.
-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:?? -- FA: ---O so HOWD it GO? EM: Thing didn't go as planned. FA: ---O aw it DIDNT WORK? EM: I'm lucky to still have a CD/DVD drive. EM: The disk was burnt to a crisp. FA: ---O oh MAN :I EM: The thing is literally too hot to hold now. EM: Oh well, I tried, good luck Amber! -- exceptionallyMean [EM] ceased pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at ??:?? --
FA: ---O what
-- exceptionallyMean [EM] began pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at ??:?? -- EM: Just kidding, that would be downright monstrous of me, now wouldn't it? FA: ---O meany > EM: That's my name. EM: Well, let's think this through. EM: We've got an arcane contraption. EM: It can create objects by combining them. FA: ---O i GUESS if i can CREATE SOMETHING i dont need a SERVER PLAYER right? EM: You'd need a lot of grist. EM: But you could technically duplicate stairs. EM: placing them however is a bigger issue. FA: ---O i dont think I HAVE ANYTHING that COMBINES INTO STAIRS EM: Something lighter, perhaps more portable. An array of ladder? I don't know. EM: Well, you could just duplicate one. FA: ---O alright FA: ---O this MIGHT sound CRAZY FA: ---O JETPACK EM: That sounds about as life threatening as it gets. FA: ---O yeah THOUGHT SO EM: I guess it depends on the jetpack... EM: You'd better start thinking about objects you have that can be combined into a jetpack. FA: ---O well uh FA: ---O I HAVE a BACKPACK EM: Otherwise, you're stuck duplicating pieces of wood and making ladders out of them. FA: ---O i dont suppose you HAVE a JET in your MANSION do you? EM: Actually, now that you mention it... EM: Nah, sorry, I don't have one. FA: ---O meh FA: ---O hmm... FA: ---O KEGAN you have TEAM FORTRESS 2 LYING AROUND RIGHT? EM: Yeah, why? FA: ---O could you GIVE ME THAT CODE? EM: So you can duplicate it? FA: ---O so i can ALCHEMISE IT EM: But... that's piracy! EM: It's illegal! EM: Woe is me to have a friend with such a lack of morality. FA: ---O pff YOU GET MOST of your GAMES through PIRACY FA: ---O just gimme the GAME already! EM: Now she resorts to slander! The indignity! EM: Pssht, fine. EM: Let me see... EM: 623B!D?q FA: ---O alright THANKS FA: ---O now to see IF THIS WORKS EM: Now to see if WHAT WORKS? FA: ---O its a SECRET! -- feistyAthlete [FA] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at ??:?? --
Amber quickly...
<spoiler=Lass scurries>
out of the stone beheamoth and back into her house, her loyal sprite in tow, as always. She barges into her room and flies towards the bed, reaching under it. She grabs a pair of sneakers, red ones obviously, and captchalogues it. Then she combines both the sneakers and the Team Fortress 2 disk into a DOWEL and create the item.
<spoiler=You recieve ONE (1) pair of HERMES SNEAKERS>
Awesome. She puts them on, and immediately sprints back to outside, across the platform and starts ascending the giant stone pillar, curiously void of imps. She makes it to the top without incident, the curious spirograph twisting above her head, casting warped shadows and light across her face. With an expression that could crumble a brick wall she takes few steps back and bound a few times on the new HERMES SNEAKERS. Then she starts sprinting, jumps as high as she can and then steps off the air, DOUBLE JUMPING into the portal. Stuff goes flying and spinning and flashing, and then the same sensation as she felt entering the medium pulled through her stomach.
There she was, the *****. Oh, and as fate would have it, so were her Most Loyal Servants, the Armed Dragoon and the Pyrotechnical Illusiomancer. The PS fucking hated these two almost as much as the royals; they'd allowed themselves to be deluded with all the talk of "harmony and virtue and goodness", and had willingly convinced themselves that they weren't completely miserable and bored as hell by the crowny bastards' enforced "rule of peace". Fuck these two guys.
The PS was going to have fun with these ones.
> Be the one who is still alive.
You are now the PI.
Briefly.
Their applicability for meeting that specification expired fairly quickly. Ah, well; back to being the murderous bastard.
> PS: Cast off the shackles of tranquility.
The Queen draws her scepter. The PS already had his out. She has the deaths of three friends to avenge, and a whole civilization to protect. He's really, really, really bored.
She swings at his head, and he ducks under her arm and lodges a knife in her throat. That was easier than he expected. Still, he'd been planning it for a lifetime, so there really wasn't any way it could've gone wrong.
Clarissa: Be Oblivious to Events That Will Most Likely Bite You In The Ass Later
What events? Either way, it's time to get up this thing and into your land, hup two girl!
As she started her ascent suddenly a beeping was heard form her inventory, it seemed that she was being pestered by some chum, hoping it was Donnie, or perhaps-
It was Mark.
Rolling her eyes she decided to indulge him yet again. She wont let him bother her too much now that he Goal is in place.
One Log as seen above in a much better post later
Well that was typical of him to rain on her parade, first saying Donnie's dead and then going on about how everyone's entitled to some of the Great Reward, and it wasn't even physical!
She swore that if it was something metaphorical like one of those stupid Nicolas Cage movies where the treasure turned out to be your friends\family\some other hokey life lesson she would do an acrobatic pirouette into flip-the-fuck-out town; population of one.
Shouldering her ever trusty shovel she began to Ascend at a rapid pace, the first few ramps were rather basic affair, maybe an imp here or there but mostly empty. They were dealt with in the manner she deals with most problems: Hitting it until it stopped bothering her. The higher she got the heavier the imps got in their density. But oddly they weren't everywhere, apparently Mark has done another thing right by clearing them off when he has a chance. He may be an unbearable ass hat but he knows more than enough about this game and seems to be able
Nearly to the top she stopped to regain her breath, abusing Imps until they learned to run from her on sight is tiring work. Looking out Clarissa noticed how she had a good panoramic view of her surroundings, or more accurately lack there of. As far as she could see there was nothing beyond her house on the pillar of dirt, like it was on display on a dais. Wait, was there something out there? Scuttling along the ground, far far below... a white speck seemed to-
Her observations were cut off suddenly as an Imp was sent flying past her, screeching and flailing in vain as it tried to gain purchase on the ledge but it bounced off.
Turning around slowly and looking up she saw an Ogre, so far the only one she had seen this entire ascent. It had picked up another unfortunate Imp and was taking aim, firing it's living artillery at her with frightening speed. Jumping to the side quickly the poor imp was reduced to a smear extremely quickly. Wasting no time she began to run full speed up the ramps, dodging shot after shot from the be-dressed monstrosity.
Reaching the top of the platform there was only a the Ogre left, and behind it her gate. Gritting her teet\h she decided to she if she could quickly run past, not thinking she could solo an Ogre without her sprite OR her serer player lobbing shit at it.
SHe shot off towards it, trying to skirt around the bulky monster, who seemed to be slow witted enough for this to work...
Until it's hand shot down and grabbed her by the tail of her coat and whipping her into the air, she skidded on landing and almost fell down the precarious edge, barely pulling herself back up she squared off against her opponent again. She most likely wouldn't survive one on one, or at least would have had a hell of a time limping into her gate. Thinking for a moment she suddenly had an idea, she kept the anchor the tried to alchematize with, and it would work perfectly.
SHe quickly dumped her inventory on the ground, captchaloguing the anchor first she then began to get all the other useless crap she held onto, glad that she didn't make too many extra cards the last thing she got in was the survival kit, opening it up she individually logged a grappling hook and water flask, looking up she suddenly saw that the Ogre was not in fact waiting idly to allow her to plot against it and was charging after her like a midnight meat-train. Finally logging the kit itself it overfilled her Captchalogue, sending the last item out at high speeds. The last item just so happened to be an anchor.
Being struck in the face is not a pleasant sensation, even more so by a large piece of gilded metal in an interesting shape, no matter how big you are. Knocking the Ogre on it's ass and breaking the smoked lenses on it's gasmask, showing two dazed and blazing Amber eyes, she took her shovel and lunged, burying the shovel into the beasts neck. It rumbled shortly before exploding into a number of wonderful gushers grist, not being able to savor this victory for much longer as she heard a distinctive roar and saw a massive hand and head look over the edge, as another Ogre was climbing up to get her.
Rolling her eyes she turned and sauntered into the gate, having gotten extremely tired of this scene and ready to see what her world is going to be like.
A ruddy land of dark red stone and earth stretched into the distance, eventually disappearing into a bloodshot haze. Diabolical flames surged up from the chasms and rugged crevasses of the landscape, scorching the boulders and catching the very ground on fire. Vines of massive girth sprung up from the parched rocks and spread their leafy bodies up and up and up into the crimson sky, until they were no longer visible amidst the russet fog. Between these sprawled thousands of creeping plants and tendrils of a sickly green hue, roots protruding obscenely from the aching stone and twisted vines choking the air overhead. A thick reddish dust filled the spaces between the rocks and grotesque trees, along with the odor of sulfur and burning weeds, so that the lungs were stifled and the mind numbed, aiding the eldritch misery of this accursed place.
Amber stood slack jawed, wide eyed and dumb struck. The vertigo of going through the gate lingered, and she gripped her DECKMASTER DECKER tighter; the only thing she had a hold on. The smoke immediately made her sneeze, adding to the tears obscuring her sight. After a brief coughing fit, she cleared her eyes and saw that lovely description of a post back.
The land looked far from unoccupied though. Everywhere she looked creatures, both small and large, moved through the wild growth, apparently fleeing from the flames that licked the plants all around her. Somewhere in the distance she could make out a glowing light just peeking over the mountains. Either dawn, more fire, or something else was over there. Out of curiousity she made a mental note to go and check that out one day.
With a double bound she jumped off the ledge and onto one of the thick vines snaking through the entire land. It wobbled precautiously, but held. Amber, arms outstretched like a cord dancer, walked the length of it and jumped off again at a second ridge. She sat down for a moment and opened pesterchum, eager to let Clarisa know her progress.
-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at ??:?? -- FA: ---O hey C AA: Amber! FA: ---O guess where I AM? AA: and where? FA: ---O through the FIRST PORTAL :3 AA: No way, already? FA: ---O YUSSSSS FA: ---O though i had to IMPROVISE to GET TO IT FA: ---O with JEFFREY gone and all :| AA: Yeah, your server player died or something right? FA: ---O rip UMBRELLA GUY AA: Yeah... something was off about him AA: *shrugs* AA: EITHER WAY! AA: What's your world like? FA: ---O all SMOKEY :\ FA: ---O THOUGH there are PLANTS AND BUSHES everywhere! AA: Everythings on fire then? FA: ---O pretty MUCH YEAH AA: sounds wonderful AA: have fun in your burning wasteland! AA: Im just reaching my world now AA: so this race is still going strong! FA: ---O hee! SAME PLACES YESSSSS AA: Dont get too cocky girl! AA: Still got a L-O-O-ONG way to go AA: Hopefuly you dont fall TOO far behind FA: ---O could HAPPEN there are OGRES AND STUFF EVERYWHERE 0_0 AA: Ogres? AA: Be caredful of those bastards... FA: ---O havent had ONE of THEM YET AA: count yourself lucky AA: If you do get in a fight, make sure you have the drop on them AA: they hit AA: HARD FA: ---O i regret having BATKIND AS my STRIFE SPECIBUS AA: Well I'm sure you can do all that fancy alchemy stuff to make it deadly FA: ---O alchemy GIVES ME a HEADACHE >.< FA: ---O though i got some SNAZZY DOUBLEJUMP SNEAKERS AA: Doublejumping eh? AA: Well seems like you lucked out there AA: And dont get me started on that alchemy bullshit FA: ---O didnt WORK OUT? AA: I;ve washed my hands of the whole struggle AA: besides, cant really improve a shovel can you? FA: ---O well.... FA: ---O FIND something INSANELY SHARP FA: ---O and CROSS it with the SHOVEL AA: Tch AA: maybe if they start using armor i'd consider it FA: ---O ooh ARMOUR id love to find SOME of THAT AA: But it's fine now, and given time those imp bastards learn not to mess with me so it all works out FA: ---O perhaps these LANDS have MAJOR TREASURE SOMEWHERE FA: ---O :O and SNAZZY OUTFITS! AA: treasure you say? FA: ---O yeah i GUESS FA: ---O its a GAME isnt IT? AA: Yes... AA: with insanely high risks and infite rewards FA: ---O BUT A GAME REGARDLESS AA: EXACTLY! AA: Treasure of the worlds AA: AND the one on skaia FA: ---O (mine) AA: Yours? FA: ---O MY treasure on SKAIA AA: Now your pushing it girl AA: You may be my best friend but that doesnt mean I'm letting you off easy! FA: ---O i wouldnt EXPECT any LESS FA: ---O oh yeah FA: ---O WHAT if KEGAN or MARK GET TO IT first?! AA: ... AA: Heh FA: ---O or DONNIE FA: ---O shoot NEARLY forgot HIM AA: huh... AA: Yeah, Mark said he's dead by now the bastard AA: Urgh, he gets to Skaia first I'll gladly eat my own hat FA: ---O :O FA: ---O HE ISNT RIGHT? AA: NO AA: no he isnt AA: He's just being all drama again AA: But again, that's the only thing he is so I find it safer to ignore his non-game related bullshit FA: ---O pff SCARED ME there for a moment C AA: Oh no, dont worry about being scared AA: Only thing you need to worry about is coming in second at the end AA: MAYBE third if Donnie gets back in gear FA: ---O hehehehehe FAT CHANCE > AA: No chance about it AA: ALL skill baby FA: ---O ooh FA: ---O think I GOTTA RUN FA: ---O these FLAMES are getting PRETTY HOT AA: Ooph AA: I cn imagine that being annoyed AA: Well, dont get melted and I expect to ehar from you again later FA: ---O dont worry I WONT get HURT !) FA: ---O see you LATER C -- feistyAthlete [FA] ceased pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at ??:?? --
Amber quickly jumped off the cliff, falling the paltry 2 meters and escaping fiery death. Though now she had no route to go on except the winding rock corridor that was cleft through the land. A glint caught her eye at the end of the path, and with a small grin she took off at a trot, eager for her treasure.
You stand on a piece of stone, both sturdy and slippery, along which a stream cuts a groove along the length of it. The stone was strangely tinted blue, and part of a ruined temple, or what had to go for it in this land. The strange construction seemed to stretch left and right, and snake through the entire land. The continuous drone of waterfalls presses against your ears, and a fine mist of water flows around you. You see, in the distance below you, a giant body of water, disturbed only by basins. The basins are sparse, but you can see one off in the distance, and one right in front of you. The insides of them are littered with what look like little specks. And if you listen carefully, screams and yells of combat can be heard, coming from the depression from which smoke steadily rises. Above you the sky is cloudless and lightblue, and a steady stream or light makes the water sparkle and casts shadows onto the landscape.
After what felt like a week or two in some kind of white purgatory, Clarissa finally exited out into her land. From her vantage point she was the able to survery her land as far as her eyes could see, and she found it...
"Wicked" she said under her breath, but it wouldn't have made a difference, the constant rush of a nearby waterfall made it hard to even hear her thoughts, and the clamorous roar of the fight going on in the impromptu arena before her.
A harsh and cold wind picked up, blowing some smoke her way, she scowled at the stench it brought with it and took a step back. Then she saw the strange ruins in the back, she didn't think much of it until she remembered two things, one that it seemed to be a main place of interest in this otherwise dead world and two, her Sprite mentioned riches and treasures in this game. A massive ruin was high up on the list of Places To Loot. And baby, does that place look open for business.
She turned around on the helpful sluice-like platform and proceeded into the temple her platform was jutting from, walking in the place was cold and dank, it seemed to have once been a grand place but Father Time took a nail-bat to the place. The once fine pillars and walls, made of some strange blue material, were pocked and cracked, there were steps going down that she cautiously treaded down, water constantly running down the steps along with her, wearing them down. Upon reaching what would have to be assumed as the main chamber she saw what could have once been an awe-inspiring statue of a seated... being, it was impossible to determine it's species or possible gender as all that remained was an arm on the rest and part of what could be assumed a leg. These parts towered over her, and it was made of the same odd blue material as the rest of this temple. Something about it... unsettled her for some reason. She turned and her heel and saw that directly opposite of her and this massive statue was the exit, the floor must have dipped down because only the mirror still surface of the flood water encroaching upon the temple was able to be seen as far as she could tell.
"Well, see you around big guy, keep doing as your doing" Clarissa said to the remains, heading out of the forsaken temple and into the water, it was only ankle high, her boots were high enough to keep the water out at least, but the back of her coat dragged behind her in the water. The water was, unsurprisingly, cold. Not freezing, but still biting.
She could see her destination in the distance, and the only thing standing in her way was the the dip into the basin, smoke was still rising out of it and she could hear the shouts. She hesitated slightly and briefly thought of skirting around the edge of this hell-hole. But then shook that thought away. Shortest distance between two points is a straight line and all that.
Swinging her shovel over her shoulder she walked down into the basin, knowing that the benefits would extremely outweigh the risks.
Taking a deep breath and exhaling, she descended into the basin, not one hundred percent sure what she'll see.
Mark had more blood on his hands than a war criminal. The weapon of choice was gripped hard,kept in an iron fist.After the endless climb and gauntlets of hundreds of imps, and about 30 ogre kills under his belt. The Echeladder had dinged a few times during this, climbing steadily, Mark too busy with his injuries and aggressors to keep count. His Gel viscosity was getting better, but still barely keeping his health vial at halfway. The Cottardis had been torn, thankfully not damaging any vital circuity. Mark looked up, the last climb ahead of him. This one was easily 30 meters, and a squad of Ogre's looked down at him from it, Wielding bits of platform, and wearing makeshift quivers of imps, no doubt made from the finest beard hair.
After a second or two of mulling it over, Mark decided something. He was going to do this, he was going to make this happen. Looking to Eggswordsprite, he grinned and leaped forward. Using the tried and true method of climbing known as "fling-a-ukulele-and-hook-shot-to-it fu" he reached the 10 meter mark before the first missile was sent at him, a bearded, fishy imp which gnashed and clawed at him. Using the momentum of the imps fall combined with being thrown, Mark simply held the W.O.C in front of him, bisecting the imp vertically and allowing him to keep climbing. Platform pieces began to fall at him, a couple coming close to knocking him down to a 20 meter fall of painful death. At 25 meters, Mark decided he was sick of this shit and hook-shotted directly to the largest ogres neck. Not bothering to try and beat them, Mark jumped past them and ran straight ahead. The plat form had been made into a dangerous crumbling wreck of pit falls and loose platforms. The gate was straight in front of and above him when there was a crumbling noise from below.
Oh buggery
Ground collapsing underneath him,Mark just about soiled himself before firing the shootalele through a desperate attempt not to fall to a horrible ending to his short tale, it seemed to connect to something, much to his surprise and joy. Quickly clicking the "Pull in" button, he was pulled from his ultimate fate and through the hole out of blackness before, and into the world beyond.
Man, treasure was apparently a big deal around this place. Imps and strange, hollow men around every corner tried to stand between her and the maddening glint at the end of the trench. All fell quickly under the steady baet of Ambers DECKMASTER, though the imps were getting more numerous and the strange lich-like beings were a whole lot stronger than the imps. The apparent lack of Ogres gave Amber a forboding feeling. She should've at least ran across a few of them. Or thirty, or whatever. Perhaps around this next corner?
A dragon. Or..wait, no, that was a Basilisk. Amber's mom showed her enough murals and ancient art for her to distinguish the two from one another. She looked at the black creature that flared its fins and spread its wings at the sight of this new foe. It climbed to the top of the spire and wrapped its tail around it, turning its wicked grin towards Amber. She gripped her weapon tighter, waiting for the inevitable swooping that would occur.
Sure enough, the Basilisk jumped off the spire and opened its wings and swooped down, mighty limbs and pointy digits streched out to reach for her. Amber took a step back and swung the DECKMASTER in a high arc. It struck the basilisk right onto the chitanous arm. It promptly shattered, and threw Amber back onto the dusty stone. The basilisk screamed and wobbled in its flight. Its arm hung limply at its flank, obviously broken. Amber quickly got to her feet, looking at the Basilisk. It was doubling back for another assault, apparently. Amber looked at the destroyed remains of her pink-and-red DECKMASTER, and looked up at the Basilisk, who was doubling back to do another sweep.
<color=orange>---O i am SO baeting the CRAP out of YOU
She tensed, and when the basilisk was close enough she GIRLJUMPED right into the path of the passing creature, landing on the spiky head. She immediately started punching the elongated head, it roaring in pain, and it started to dip, eventually touching the ground and slamming into the pillar. Amber was thrown off the beast and hit the wall again, losing more than three quarters of her health vial. The Basilisk gave one last twitch before dying and dissolving into Girst; a truckload of it.
Feeling victorious, Amber picked herself up and gingerly touched the back of her head. She looked at her hand and saw blotches of red. She shook her head and quickly gathered the girst, with some pieces reaching above her head. She doubted that her girst capacity was enough to hold all of it, but what do you do about it?
After the gathering, she took a peek behind the cracked pillar, and finally saw her treasure! A gleaming treasure chest just waiting for her to open it. She, like instructed by her mother, first checked the surroundings for any natural unsettlings, animals lying in wait or man-made traps that could injure her. Fortunately, none of those things were around, so she proceded to loot the insides as fast as she could. A few boondollars were ontop of some fabric. No...no fabric. Something even better.
<color=orange>---O A FREAKING NEW OUTFIT YESSSSS
---O the SCARF was GETTING TOO HOT man
The robbings of the Basilisk's loot was JUST enough to get her the prestegious rank of...
Your HEADBAND extends the OLIVEBRANCH between your OLYMPIAN SPORTING CAPABILITIES and AWESOME GARDENING SKILLS, with a small touch of ADVENTURER in it now that you are stealing your own TREASURE and KILLING ITS GUARDIANS.
And lo, Mark did arrive in his land; ah, and what a land it was! The second his feet touched the ground, it became apparent that it was no ground at all, but a brassy substance only describable as brass! Ah, but even before the contact was made between brass and shoe, Mark knew that this was not an ordinary land; the most prominent thing in the air was the noise! Ah, what noise. What utter noise. Too much noise, surely! It reverberated into his very soul, and caused his bones to jiggle in a manner most uncomfortable. What's this over the hill? Why, it could almost be a brass band! Nay, indeed; though the instruments were present, no players assembled. What was this before Mark's very visage? It looked to be a large musical note. Would the note perhaps seek comeradeship with Mark? Had he found a new friend in this strange land? A partner? A lover, even? Alas, no; though it looked close, the note was far away and in truth not even present; many such visible phantoms littered the sky, which was purple. Alack, this blasted noise! How could a gentleman cope?
As Mark observed his land, a noise washed over him.A Horrible, monstrous, painful noise. Blood slid out of his nostril and ran down over his lip, he felt wet feelings run down out of his ears and on to his neck, staining the Cottardis sanguine. His eyes began to buzz and another wet feeling leaked out, he thought it was tears at first, before raising his hand to his eye to dab it away, and seeing the red liquid on his finger. He began to scream,trying to block out the noise.
Cottardis tails flowing behind, he began to fun over his metallic and cold land. His foot slipped over the polished surface, causing him to face plant into the floor and roll forward a couple meters before hitting something, looking up, he saw what appeared to be a bell tower. Hurrying inside, he flipped the Cottardis over his head. The scream outside was dampened in here, not quite painful enough to completely fuck his head over.
-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at 15:43 -- CL: OOh,good... CL: AAmbeer... CL: Thee nooiisee... CL: my eeyees aaree liiteeraally bleeeediing... FA: ---O huh? MARK whats GOING on? :O CL: II eenteereed...aand thee laand... CL: OOh good,thee nooiisee iin thiis plaacee. CL: II'm bleeeediing oouut oof eeveery fuuckiing faaciiaal ooriifiicee. FA: ---O OH good! YOU entered YOUR land! CL: Noot gooood! CL: IIt's coold,haard,meetaalliic! FA: ---O D: GET SOME EARPLUGS DUDE CL: Noo waay too! FA: ---O UMM damn uh CL: II'm iin soomee kiind oof beell tooweer... CL: Waaiit,whaat thee diick... CL: Theeree's aa cheest aacrooss froom mee,giimmee aa seec FA: ---O :? -- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at 15:45 --
Crawling over to it, he found a note, it read "Dear Mark, when I came back, I assumed the noise I'd be making would hurt you really bad. I'm sorry for what I'll be doing, but here's something to make it better". Dropping the note in the same motion as pulling the chest open, Mark found a pair of earphones plugged into an MP3 player. Wondering how this would help, he probed the earphones and found, written on the side, "Noise cancelling".
"You magnificent bastard..."
He silently thanked the his benefactor and antagonist, before sticking the earphones in his ears and browsing the MP3's library, stuck on Bound for the Floor, thankful to find it, then went back to talking to Amber, or, at least tried to before being rudelty interupted by a troll.
color=#646464]-- atonalNightmare [AN] began pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 14:33 --[/color] CL: AAlriight; leet mee seet thee "sceenee" foor yoouu; -- atonalNightmare [AN] ceased pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 14:33 -- -- atonalNightmare [AN] began pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 14:33 -- AN: Alright; let me set the "scene" for you; AN: Our "intrepid young hero"; weary from the "vigours of conflict"; enters his "first gate" and comes to arrive in his "land". AN: But once there, he discovers to his "dismay" that all is not "right in the world", and that this "land" may be "stricken" with more "turmoil" than the last! AN: And then his ears start "bleeding blood", and it's totally "horrible" and "disgusting" and all the women reading "throw up" or "start crying" and it's really awful! AN: [14:34:44] Sam G: AND THEN THIS "DRAGON" TURNS UP AND "TAKES A BITE OUT OF HIS SKULL"! AN: ARE YOU SCARED YET!? CL: Why thee fuuck doo yoouu uusee soo maany quuootaatiioons? AN: What? Why, that's... that's "vulgar"! AN: What's even "up" with that? That's almost "insulting" to read! CL: Yoouu'ree aa teerriibly suucky trooll. AN: "Doo"? You "vagabond"! AN: I "wash my hands of you"! My "champion" must conduct themself with "grace"; and "posterity"; and "numerous other beautiful things"! CL: ... AN: Have fun "dying in the Medium", you illiterate "jerk"! CL: II aapooloogiizee,ooh loord aand maasteer. CL: Chaampiioon? CL: Pleeaasee eexplaaiin AN: "Really"? Well, that was "unexpected"... AN: I suppose there's "hope for you yet"; even if your reading your text is "close to torture"... AN: I can help you "get stronger". CL: Why doo soo maany peeooplee haatee my speeeech...aand soouunds gooood. AN: In fact; my guidance is probably your "only hope of survival" in this "realm". CL: Hoow,ooh greeaat oonee? CL: Hiis graand hiigh Troolly neess? AN: Hahaha! That sounds "ridiculous"; but honestly, I rather "like it". AN: Were you aware that you are the "Guide Of Peace"? CL: Noopee CL: Noot eeveen suuree whaat thaat meeaans AN: Something of a "wishy-washy" title; but if you can "tap into it" correctly, you could become stronger than any of the others. AN: "Titles" and "roles", knave; how could you not be "aware" of those? AN: I thought you were "the smart one"! CL: II aam CL: EEggbeert diidn't cooveer paast Meediiuum thoouugh AN: Well, speak to your "egg" about it; he may be able to "educate" you further. AN: Though probably not; I know what "sprites" are like... CL: Wiill doo,booss maan...woomaan...waaiit,whaat geendeer aaree yoouu? AN: You may know me as "Selant Eriout"; naturally, I am a "man". AN: Anyway; back on the topic of "power". CL: Soorry,yees AN: As a "guide", your "strength" lies in "diplomacy"; you may derive "power" from the way you "deal with people". AN: In order to grasp these "talents", I recommend you spend some time "getting acquainted" with your "consorts". CL: Coonsoorts? AN: I can only hope you "speak" better than you "type"... AN: The "lizard things" that populate your "land"; you should come across some eventually along your "travels". AN: Once you can track down a "settlement", then we may continue your "training" further! CL: OOkaay yoouur troolly neess,II'll hoop too iit. CL: AAny suuggeestiioons foor keeeepiing thee braass screeaams oouut? AN: Well, they won't "kill" you; or at least, they "shouldn't"; so as a matter of fact, it doesn't really "concern me" as to how you'll "deal with them". AN: Sorry; am I "moving too fast"? AN: Damn; I "always do that"... AN: Look, we'll "talk more later"; alright? CL: Doo yoouu haavee aany fuuckiign iideeaa hoow paaiinfuul theesee thiings aaree? CL: Theey doon't haavee too kiill mee too iincaapaaciitaatee mee. CL: AAn iimp coouuld kiill mee iin thiis staatee CL: II aapooloogiizee foor vuulgaar laanguuaagee AN: ...Dammit, you're a "lost cause"! I've been "too nice to you", haven't I? AN: I'll try your friend "Kegan" next; he seems like he's got a "lot of hate in him"... CL: Soorry,soorry,miighty oonee. CL: AAnd Keegaan's sheeeer saarky-neess wiill coonsuumee yoouu. AN: Stoop "aapooloogiiziing"; iit reeaally "geets mee doown" wheen iit seeeems liikee yoouu'ree "woorriieed aaboouut my feeeeliings"! CL: Dominate you. CL: Reeaally? Geets yoouu doown? CL: Woow. AN: Oh... oh my. AN: I... really? Do you think you could "put in a good word" for me with him? CL: Noopee CL: Keegaan's my saarky baastaard. AN: Oh; I "apologize"; I didn't realize you were "taken". CL: Whaat. AN: Well; I suppose even if you aren't useful to me "in that way", you could still be useful "in other ways"; so feel free to "message me back" once you arrive at your "village". AN: "Best of luck". -- atonalNightmare [AN] ceased pestering creativeLoon [CL] at 14:56 -- CL: buuggeery,waanteed too saay goooodbyee.
Going back to his originial attempt,he opened his second chat window with Amber.
-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at 15:53 -- CL: Hooly shiit,yoouu woont guueess whaat waas iinsiidee. FA: ---O umm FA: ---O loot? CL: Nooiisee caanceelliing eeaarphoonees. FA: ---O WIN CL: Wiith aa Waalkmaan. CL: Seeeemiingly,wiith aall my faavoouuriitee soongs oon iit... FA: ---O >.< SEEMS like THE land IS looking OUT for you CL: Theeree waas aa nootee... FA: ---O FROM who? CL: Diidn't saay CL: Giimmee aa seec... CL: "Deeaar Maark, wheen II caamee baack, II aassuumeed thee nooiisee II'd bee maakiing woouuld huurt yoouu reeaally baad. II'm soorry foor whaat II'll bee dooiing, buut heeree's soomeethiing too maakee iit beetteer" FA: ---O ...huh FA: ---O WELL seems LIKE you GOT a LITTLE guardian ANGEL looking OUT for YOU mark! CL: Thee saamee guuaardiiaan aangeel iis tryiing too poop my eeaardruums CL: Taalk too yoouu aafteer II'vee eexplooreed aa liittlee. FA: ---O (TOTALLY found AN awesome OUTFIT in MY chests! ) FA: ---O BUT yeah TALK to YOU later! CL: Reeaally? FA: ---O totally CL: soouunds aaweesoomee. FA: ---O WAS loot FROM some KIND of BASILISK thing CL: IIt's goonnaa bee cooool wheen wee aall meeeet uup. CL: Hmmm... CL: Soouunds diiffiicuult. CL: Hoow's yeer heeaalth viiaal? FA: ---O WAY low, 1/4TH left CL: Shiit,try aand geet soomee geel. FA: ---O though...MARK have YOU been FEELING different? FA: ---O BECAUSE i JUST punched WHAT looks LIKE a DRAGON out OF the sky :I CL: Whaat doo yoouu meeaan FA: ---O well FA: ---O I jumped ONTO a LIZARD and PRETTY much BAET it OUT of THE sky CL: Waaiit,juumpeed oon iit aand BAAEET iit oouut oof thee sky? CL: II thoouught yoouu'd buullfiighteed iit! CL: Thaat's fuuckiing aaweesoomee! CL: Weell,noow II feeeel liikee aan aass foor freeee cheest. FA: ---O I think THIS echeladder STUFF is REALLY working CL: seeeems liikee iit FA: ---O HAVE you BEEN hearing FROM the others? ONLY one IVE contacted WAS C CL: Keegaan's haasn't beeeen oon iin aa whiilee,saamnee wiith Doonniiee FA: ---O HRM i DONT like silence CL: EEspeeciiaally wheen wee'ree plaayiing aa moost daangeeroouus gaamee... CL: Juust goot troolleed by aa guuy teelliing mee hee coouuld giivee mee pooweer froom my tiitlee. FA: ---O YOU got trolled? BY who? CL: aatoonaalNiightmaaree CL: Caan't reemeebeer hiis naamee. FA: ---O UGH that THERE are PEOPLE still TROLLING out there.. CL: II preetty suuree thee woorld eendeed. CL: AAnywaay,II beest bee gooiing. CL: Taalk too yoouu iin aa biit AAmbeer. -- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering feistyAthlete [FA] at 16:08 --
Trying, and ultimately failing to stand, Mark collapsed back to the floor and sat there. His head throbbed as the soothing tunes of Local H bumped in his ears, he decided he would take a small nap...
Clarissa had finally entered the large basin, and what she saw inside was almost exactly what she expected, there were in fact a large group of individuals fighting each other, but instead of armored figures fighting for a cause they were in fact a large number of upright Chameleons baeting the piss out of each other. In what seemed to be color-divided teams of Green and Yellow.
Okay, now things have gone from desolate to just plain weird. I honestly don't know what to think of this-
Before she could continue on that line, it seemed like someone was pestering her...
Who the hell is this douchebag?
-- fortunesHussier [FH] began pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at 18:08 -- FH: how'7e ya doin', kid AA: ... who the hell is this? FH: 7ha7's no7 impo77an7 7igh7 now FH: A77ough ac7ua77y i guess i7 is FH: so, uh FH: name's ze7se7 fe7ici FH: and i... FH: am you7 god FH: haha, oh man, 7ha7 was awesome AA: ... your almost as annoying to read as Mark FH: a7mos7? 7ha7's a fi7s7 FH: i'm gonna have 7a mee7 7his ma7k fe77a... FH: he you7 kismesis o7 some7hin'? AA: what the hell is that? FH: oh, yeah, 7igh7, you pink guys don'7 have 7hose AA: and more importantly, why should I listen to you? FH: we77, fo7 a numbe7 of 7easons, 7ea77y FH: fi7s7 an' fo7emos7, i'm a p7e77y fun guy 7o 7a7k 7o FH: bu7 mo7e u7gen77y, 'cause i can 7each you 7o 7ap in7o you7 powe7s AA: I did not understand a single thing you just said AA: It's llike youir having a seizure or something on your computer FH: i ain'7 d7oppin' i7 FH: i didn'7 d7op i7 fe7 hoco7a, i didn'7 d7op i7 fe7 7ha7 se7an7 sc7ub, i ain'7 d7oppin' i7 fe7 you FH: 77ip7e 7s, 7igh7? 7ha7's s'posed 7a be 7ucky! AA: Luck? Seriously? FH: 7hough hones77y i7 ain'7 se7ved me g7ea77y in 7ha7 depa77men7 so fa7... AA: I dont know weither to laugh or reach through my computer and smack you FH: okay, kid, 7uck doesn'7 ma77e7 7igh7 now FH: 7he 7eason i con7ac7ed you is, as i said befo7e, 'cause i can he7p you 7ap in7o you7 hidden powe7s FH: you'd 7ike 7ha7, 7igh7? 'cou7se ya wou7d! FH: eve7ybody 7oves powe7! AA: Okay, I managed to hear you say something about power, that right so far? FH: 7ha7 is co77ec7 FH: d'you pink guys have 7o7e7ance b7eaches in you7 wo77d? AA: Beaches? AA: Okay, start making some kind of sense, times ticking FH: 7ha7 one was an 7. fo7 7abbi7 FH: o7, uh, dammi7... FH: 7oden7? FH: c7ap! FH: 7he co7ou7 a' you7 wie7d mu7an7 b7ood FH: 7 fo7 7ed FH: 7ha7 7 AA: Close enough then AA: Now get to the point so it doesnt feel like I'm being punched in the eye every few sentences FH: 7o7e7ance b7eaches! 7hey'7e, 7ike, migh7y powe7fu7 supe7-a77acks o7 some7hin'! AA: attacks? AA: Like strife or something? FH: an' as 7he wi7ch a' w7a7h, you'7e ab7e 7a' do 'em na7u7a77y! FH: ...dammi7, even i don'7 know wha7 i jus7 said 7he7e FH: a77igh7, if ya wan7 a 7eason 7o 77us7 me, a77 i can give you is 7his: FH: i can he7p you ge7 7ha7 77easu7e befo7e 7he o7he7s FH: yep FH: i see a77, young c7a7issa FH: 7e7 me be you7 guidin' beacon a' hope AA: Wait, how do you know my name? AA: I swear to god if this is Mark or someone role-playing to troll me or some shit FH: i see a77, 7emembe7? pay a77en7ion, dumbass! AA: I WILL KNOCK YOUR FUCKING TEETH OUT FH: wow, you 7ea77y a7e b7ack fo7 7his kid, ain'cha? FH: ye7 a cu7e coup7e FH: anyway, pay a77en7ion FH: if you wan7 my he7p, 7hen 7his is gonna have 7a' be a 7wo-way 7e7a7ionship, ya dig? FH: you'7e gonna need 7o do a 7i777e some7hin' fo7 me fi7s7 AA: Oh, all this other running around for you wasnt good enough now? Fine, hit me AA: I'm ready for whatever command you plotted up next FH: ya ain'7 usefu7 7o me 7ich, bu7 you'7e usefu7 7o me s77ong FH: fuck, powe7fu7 FH: anyway, i need you 7o ge7 s77onge7, and in 7e7u7n i'77 he7p you find 7his 77easu7e a' you7s FH: sounds 7ike a good dea7, 7igh7? AA: Alright, I'll play along FH: 7e77on one, miss c7a7issa: FH: ge7 mad. FH: 7ha7 is a77 FH: message me back when some7hin' in7e7es7in' happens, a77igh7? FH: bes7 a' 7uck 7o ya, kid. g'bye AA: Fine, seeya later -- apotropaicAntithesis [AA] ceased pestering fortunesHussier [FH] at 23:44 --
Mad? I'm already mad enough at you, that should count you illegible prick she thought bitterly, not noticing that during her conversation the fight had been reaching it's conclusion as the Green ones seemed to have won out over the Yellows, who were now on the ground in various stages of knocked out or worse.
But what she DID notice was Amber messaging her. Always good to hear from someone you know...
-- feistyAthlete [FA] began pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at 19:45 -- FA: ---O uh C? AA: Amber, what's up? FA: ---O i dhink Ir MIGHT need osme HELP AA: whats wrong? Your typings all funky FA: ---O SOMETHING gnot le AA: ... AA: got you? FA: ---O dh dog ai GOTTA finzd sone SANDAGEB AA: no AA: wait AA: WHAT HAPPENED FA: ---O got HURT a bit FA: ---O BADLY i think FA: ---O OH GOD I NEED TO BANDAGE THIS UP -- feistyAthlete [FA] ceased pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at 19:47 --
... and is probably bleeding out on their keyboard.
Suddenly Clarissa felt like she was punched in the gut, as it seems that now someone who actually matters could be the one to bite it. While freaking out over this C didnt notice a few of the Chameleons that were grouping around her...
HAD A CONVERSATION WITH MARK MOVE ALONG PLEASE ==>==>==>
Amber gathered the previously overlooked gel that surrounded the deathplace of the Basilisk, neatly filling her health vial up to 90% again. Not optimal, but enough for her to survive another basilisk baetdown. She glanced to where her trusty DECKMASTER lay, broken and still, a short yet trusted companion slain in battle. Farewell, trusty appliance. May you someday find a target once again.
Amber resumed her trudge through the trench behind the pillar, where some ugly tangle of vines obscured the passageway leading upwards, out of the trench. The glow that had been low at the horizon at first was now way off to her right up in the sky. So much for a vantage point, she thought as she shot the source of light a glare. She continued through up the winding pathway that led out of the trench. When she looked over her shoulder, she saw the disheartening view of the spire on which her house stood, still looking the same as ever. The constant testemony of one of her dead friends stung her a little, and she quickly hurried on.
Heehuu...heehuu...heehuu
Amber frowned. The underbush rustled.
Heehuu...heehuu...heehuu
Seeking shelter under a strange tree, she looked around her. Squeeky sounds were all around her, and the thick, yellow grass obscured any good look she could get at its source. Suddenly something jumped out of the grass, and Amber turned her face away and yelped out of surprise.
Something small and greyish had attached itself to her arm, looking at her with big, bulging black eyes. It opened its mouth, as if smiling, and made the same sound again. Amber carefully shook her arm, and as the strange creature looked up, it jumped off her arm and into the tree, trying to grasp one of the strangely colourful fruits hanging from its branches. Suddenly five more creatures jumped out of the undergrowth, and started the frenzy to get to the fruits.
What the hell?
<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>-- unverseClarify [UC] began trolling feistyAthlete [FA] at ??:?? -- UC: list3n up UC: 63caus3 i'm 0nly 60nna say this 0nc3 FA: ---O UUUH ok? UC: sh0rt 0n tim3 h3r3 and i d0n't think y0u'll 63 6r3at f0r tim3 3ith3r UC: plus this quirk is m0r3 ann0yin6 than i'd 3v3r hav3 th0u6ht UC: 6ut h3r3 603s UC: y0ur s3ssi0n? UC: th3 0n3 y0u'r3 in UC: c0mpl3t3ly fuck3d FA: ---O WAIT you TALKING about sburb? UC: y3s UC: j36us, 63t with th3 pr06ram FA: ---O WELL sorry YOU just COME out OF the BLUE with this FA: ---O WHO are YOU anyway? UC: n0t imp0rtant UC: what is imp0rtant is that y0ur 6am3 is aut06alancin6 UC: which is 0nly happ3nin6 63caus3 half 0f y0ur stupid fri3nds hav3 60tt3n th3ms3lv3s splatt3r3d 6y spac3 6ar6a63 UC: 6r3iv3 0r what3v3r FA: ---O YEAH thanks FOR being SUBTLE jerk UC: y0ur sayin6 that as th0u6h it's my fault! UC: and i'll hav3 y0u kn0w it wasn't! UC: if anythin6 it was y0urs FA: ---O mine!? UC: 0r that 6r33n wi66l3r UC: y0u'll w0rk this all 0ut 3v3ntually UC: 6ut 3v3ntually isn't fast 3n0u6h UC: plus y0ur thin6 with th3 0th3r wi66l3rs is 63ttin6 pitiful FA: ---O WELL sorry IF the DEATH OF MY FRIENDS INCONVENIENCES you UC: h0w sinc3r3 0f y0u FA: ---O bluh FA: ---O OKAY so WHAT did YOU want anyway? UC: w3ll l3mm3 ch3ck UC: i'v3 insult3d y0u, t0ld y0u y0ur fri3nds ar3 pr3tty much d3ad, that y0ur 3ntir3 s3ssi0n is fuck3d UC: that pr3tty much c0v3rs th3 6asics FA: ---O SO youre NOTHING but A troll? FA: ---O FIGURES that YOU would SURVIVE the APOCALYPSE UGH UC: unlik3 half y0ur fri3nds, huh? -- unverseClarify [UC] ceased trolling feistyAthlete [FA] at ??:?? --
FA: ---O ...jerk
You could totally punch a tree right now. And the tree would fall. And you would yell. Out of rage and fury. Because you are angry. And trees don't like it when you are angry.
Leaving the lizard...things to their eating, Amber trudges along the grooves the creatures had made when rapidly running through the thick grass. The trails often looped, and backed upon itself, but a trail was better than no trail, every woodtroll spelunkers daughter knows that. The trail led her up another hillside, and nestled in that hillside she saw a small village, populated by the same greyish-green looking lizard things. The structures were a combination of both grass and stone, though no iron or glass, and there were firepits surrounding the entire village. Some seemed busy tending the trees Amber had seen earlier, while others were busy...fighting one another?
She casually strolled down the mountainside and approached the ring of firepits, who every once in a while emitted either steam or built-up gasses. It didn't smell of anything, so Amber suspected it to be steam.
<spoiler=Show Geckolog>
<color=#267F00>GeckoGuard: Halt! FA: ---O HEY! What's UP!
<color=#267F00>GeckoGuard: ...what are YOU supposed to be? FA: ---O uh i DUNNO? a PLAYER i guess?
<color=#267F00>GeckoGuard: So. No imp or litch of basilisk in disguise then? FA: ---O NOPE
<color=#267F00>GeckoGuard: Drat. I was hoping to use this spear every once in a while. FA: ---O okaaay...can I ENTER now?
<color=#267F00>GeckoGuard: Wha? Oh sure. I'm not stopping you. Heehuu
Amber passed the Guard with a cheery smile on her face, and he seemed to return it. Although almost all of the lizards around here were smiling. Perhaps it was a racial thing. The village was quite small, with sometimes a booth or store praising outlandish wares such as <color=#57007F>RARE rocks FOR hire. In the center was an open space, where a few lizards had gathered. Amber walked up to them, and all looked up to her. She asked what was going on here. They explained that here was the deepest of firepits, running all the way down to the blood of the earth. They said that the blood ran only because of the airspirit that breathed its warm breath on it, but that its warm breath also cracked the land. But without blood, they said, there was also no life.
Amber thanked the tellers, who promptly resumed their stare into the pit. Amber, a bit at a loss, suddenly thought that, if this were a game perhaps here she could buy a new weapon! Kegan would have slapped her silly for not remembering the basic rule of City = Shop, and her mother for not remembering the one main law for eloquent ladies; City = Shop.
Suddenly the lizards started all to run downhill, towards the trees, and Amber noticed the light of earlier that day was alot brighter now, and coming right for them. She followed the strem of hip-high lizards to the orchard, where speared and sworded lizards stood to defend themselves from whatever. Amber took out her ORIGINAL CRICKET BAT again, changing from BRAWLKIND to BATKIND. She saw several basilisks, both winged and not, approach combined with a slew of imps and several giant lummoxes holding entire trees. All showed signs of their prototyping, with extra fins, amber limbs or dressed up dolls. It did not detract from their menacing.
The lizards threw some spears, but it did almost nothing. Soon the giant beasts were attacking left and right, although doing surprising little damage against the lizards. Amber jumped in front of one of the giants and-
Kegan resolved to equip himself before venturing to the portal. He took his father's pipe, and remove the tobacco that was inside. With a sheet of paper Kegan rolls the tobacco into a makeshift cigar. He then via means of alchemical shenanigans combines the cigar with a cherry bomb lying in his room. Kegan was keeping it for the Butler, but what the hell. The end result was a smoke bomb that Kegan duplicated several times.
Kegan Each few minutes of fighting ogres and imps Kegan decided to poke fun at Butltersprite. He was not amused. His state of non-amusement grew with each sharply applied wisecrack to the point Butlersprite flew into a butlery rage. Which is significantly worse than a normal rage. At this point Kegan could do nothing but exit stage left. Portal above, butler behind, ogres in front, Kegan had to make his way to the top of the tower built by Amber. Utilizing the smoke bombs Kegan could bypass ogres and Butler alike, the later with significant risk. Pesterchum started ringing on his smartphone. After putting some space between himself and the Butler, Kegan answered.
-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 21:40 -- CL: Hoow's yeer aasceensiioon coomiing? CL: OOR aaree yoouu stiill juust slaappiing iimps iin yoouur buutleers aareenaa? EM: I am being chased by my sprite. EM: Who is also my butler. CL: .... EM: Long story short. I am going to die. EM: If I don't get to the portal. CL: Weell CL: Geet throouugh thee gaate CL: Ruun! CL: Ruun aas faast aas yoouu caan broo! CL: FLY KEEGAAN PAAN! EM: Yeah, talking to you is really detrimental to my escape. CL: FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY CL: OOh,soorry CL: Seeee yoouu oon thee ootheer siidee EM: Bye. -- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering exceptionallyMean [EM] at 21:42 --
The closer Kegan got to the portal the harder it was to sneak by, and the more ogres were encountered. Unable to advance, Kegan decided to fight the ogres. Not head on, of course. That would lack tact. He deployed a smoke bomb and before the ogre could get his bearings, Kegan climbed on the ogres back using the metal spikes on his gloves. Kegan then proceeded to pummel the ogres head. Predictably, attempting to pummel something several times larger than himself didn't end in success. This was clearly a poorly thought out plan. The ogre was continuously trying to shake Kegan off. Time for plan B, Kegan started poking the ogre's eyes out. I mean what are you going to use a foolpoker for? This was significantly more effective. Kegan rode the now blind Ogre into several other ogres, giving him time to make a hasty escape towards his final objective. One more ladder and it's portal time...
Kegan ascended to the terrace where the portal was located. Before he could rejoice, the visage of the Butlersprite greeted him. Before Kegan could concoct a suitable apology for his beration, The Butlersprite punched Kegan into the portal. His entrance could of been more stylish. It was not.
Clarissa was currently attempting not to freak out more than she was, with a little success. She kept trying to convince herself that Amber was going to be fine, and the fact that none of her friends were going to die through this whole thing. They're smart enough to know better, yeah.
She was finally starting to reign in her feelings when suddenly the sounds of Pesterchum popped up, hoping it was Amber she was sorely disappointed at who it actually was.
The familiar icy feeling came over her as she prepared to deal with Mark. Again.
-- creativeLoon [CL] began pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at 12:16 -- CL: Hoow yoouu hooldiing uup Claar? CL: Claariissaa? AA: yeah yeah, I'm here CL: Kaay,haad mee woorriieed. CL: guueessiing yeer iin? AA: In? yeah, you can say thay CL: Hoow's thee laand oof Striifee aand Flooood? AA: Just what it sounds like, water and a bunch of lizards baeting the shit out of eachother CL: Heeh,hoow's yeer heeaalth viiaal hooldiing uup? CL: AAmbeer aaiin't dooiing soo gooood. AA: FUCK CL: Goot aa quuaarteer leefr. AA: You heard from her too? CL: Yeep. AA: how was she? AA: Last I heard it was like she was dying there on the keyboard CL: Shee seeeemeed fiinee oon my eend. AA: what the fuck happened! she just said something got her! CL: Thee woords oon thee tiip oof my toonguuee... CL: Shee juumpeed oon thee baack oof aa flyiing baasiiliisk aand baaeet thee shiit iintoo iit uuntiil theey booth feell oouut oof thee fuuckiing sky. AA: what CL: II knoow riight? CL: EEcheelaaddeers aareen't buullshiit iit seeeems. AA: Echeladders? AA: oh yeah AA: THose things AA: Never bothered checking them out CL: Speeaakiing aa whiich,yoouu goot aa deeceent aamoouutn oof griist. CL: Noot dooiing aany aalcheemiizaatiioon muust heelp wiith thaat. CL: Weeree yoouu troolleed eeaarliieer,by thee waay? AA: trolled? CL: OOnee goot too mee,teelliing mee hoow hee coouuld iincreeaasee my pooweer./ AA: You mean that douchebag who came by right before you? CL: Poossiibly? AA: Some bastard who was almost as annoying to read as you CL: HEEh CL: My guuy keept uusiing quuootaatiioon maarks aaboouut eeveerythiing. AA: Everything was 7's with this one CL: Theen goot ooffeendeed wheen II aaplooloogiizeed foor vuulgaar laanguuaagee aafteer hee reepriimaandeed mee eeaarliieer. CL: huuh. CL: Soo aappaareently II'm aa Guuiidee oof Peeaacee,yoouur oonee saay whoo yoouu weeree? AA: Guide of Peace? CL: Hee saaiid II haad thee pooteentiiaal too bee thee oonee oof thee moost pooweerfuul peeooplee iin oouur squuaad/ AA: I would have pegged you as the Master of Bullshit or something equal to that AA: ANd you one of the most powerful? CL: Haah, CL: Coontrool oof Peeaacee seeeems preetty sweeeet CL: AAnywaay,hee saay whaat yoouu aaree? AA: No AA: just gave me a task CL: Huuh. CL: AAnywaay,II'm gooiing too goo looook foor aa viillaagee oof liizaardy baastaards AA: But then lo and behold you pop up, amazing how these things work out CL: theen my guuy wiill taalk too mee aagaaiin. CL: ... CL: Whaat aaree yoouu iinsiinuuaatiing? AA: Exactly what it sounds like AA: We're already in text, dont see how it can be spelled out even cleared unless it was in flaming thirty foot high letters CL: Hooweeveer,II'm sloow. CL: Pleeaasee,craaft iit iin 30 foooot woooodeen leeft aand taakee aa maatch too theem AA: What a twist AA: Okay then, lets take a crack at it AA: How about the simple I Cant Stand You? CL: Weell,geet uuseed too mee. CL: Yoouu aagreeeed too plaay thiis gaamee AA: Yeah, but I didnt know it would have lead to this! CL: II'm riight uup theeree iin thee riisks wiith "Dyiing" CL: Too whaat? AA: ... you have to ask? A destroyed planet is a good starter, just about all the ones who came in biting it as well, and certainly didnt see it leading up to having SOME OF THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT FUCKING BEING TORN UP BY A GOD DAMN FLAMING MOSTER OR SOME SHIT CL: II'vee kiindaa bloockeed thoosee thiings oouut. AA: Yeah, well that doesnt fucking change what happened, does it? CL: Moostly beecaauusee iit's thee oonly waay too ntoo breeaak doown iin aa soobbiing heeaap aand bee kiilleed. CL: Noopee. CL: Buut iit heelps deeaal wiith iit. CL: AAnd iin thee eend,iit'll aall bee woorth iit. CL: Suuppooseedly. AA: ... CL: Hoopeefuully. CL: IIt's thee oonly thiing II reeaally cliing too aanymooree. AA: Hope? That's the est you can come up with? CL: Thaat aand my threeee reemaaiiniing friieends noot dyiing. CL: Yeep AA: You had all the answers in the start! CL: AAnd theen my aansweers weent oouut thee wiindoow. CL: Beecaauusee my plaans goot fuuckeed. CL: IIn my huubriis II diidn't plaan foor nooboody mooviing faast eenoouugh uundeer threeaad oof fuuckiing meeteeooriic muurdeer AA: Oh yeah, how could I forget about the plans you had CL: Beecaauusee theey faaiileed. CL: II faaiileed. CL: II fuuckeed uup,eeveerythiign haas goonee wroong. AA: Oh yes it did CL: Theeree iis noo reeaasoon leeft too keeeep oon liiviing aand hoopiing iis foor fooools. CL: Thaat whaat yoouu waant too heeaar Claar? CL: Thee plaan aand reewaard aaree thee oonly thiings stooppiing mee froom waalkiing iintoo thee screeaam oouutsiidee uuntiil my heeaad iimploodees. CL: Woow,thaat soouundeed hoorriibly eemoo... AA: You think? CL: Yoouu'ree noot soouundiing muuch beetteer. CL: AAnywaay,II'm noot gooiing too try aand mootiivaatee yoouu. AA: Oh, then excuse me for my lack of cooperation in that sense CL: Buut oouur fiinaal baattlee aat thee eend oof thiis wiill kiill uus aall iif doon't suurviivee. CL: Soo juust try aand staay aaliivee. CL: Goooodbyee Claariissaa. -- creativeLoon [CL] ceased pestering apotropaicAntithesis [AA] at 12:42 --
"Son of a *****!" She yelled, not only had he bullrushed her out of that conversation to get the last word in, now the fact is that he's getting emo about it. The bastard wont even take responsibility for all this!
The icy feeling she had now melted into a searing anger, as was becoming a custom at the end of her conversations with him, and she snapped her laptop shut and jammed it back into her inventory. At this point she finally noticed the group of chameleons that were standing around her, she glared at them and they took a collective step away from her.
Clarissa: Well? What do you want? Chameleon 1: Uh... where'd you come from? Clarissa: Where'd I come from? None of your damn business that's where Chameleon 1: Well... you see that- Chameleon 2: Just get on with it! Chameleon 1: Do you want to do this? Because I sure dont! Chameleon 2: I always knew you were the baby! Let me do it you coward Chameleon 1: Hey dont call me that! You were the one who was running scared when Oceanus's minions came by Chameleon 2: I told you never to bring that up again! Chameleon 1: Aww, what's wrong? Nothing wrong with being a coward Chameleon 2: I'll make you eat those words!
What followed were the two lizards lunging at each other and bickering like little kids while the rest cheered them on. Clarissa was in absolutely no mood for this and picked the two fighting ones up by their tales, after a disorienting second for the two she suddenly banged the lizards together, sending their two googly eyes spinning as they reverted back to a light green color. She dropped them to the ground before speaking again.
Clarissa: Now, let's try this again. What are you two going on about? Chameleon1: Urp. W-we just needed to know where you came from Chameleon 2: Because you sound and act like the wall said someone would Clarissa: The wall? Chameleon2: Y-yeah, the wall. Its probably easier to show you what we mean. If you follow us we can show you to the Long Tongue and- Clarissa: Long Tongue? That just sounds... kinda gross Chameleon 1: Yeah, he's our elder. He's been around since... uh Chameleon 2: Since when everything was dry! Clarissa: O...kay well that's probably where I'm supposed to go, lead the way you little bastards. But if you try anything tricky, you probably wont need me to tell you that it would be incredibly stupid.
Both Chameleons gulped loudly as they nodded, they turned and saw that everyone else had already left, even the defeated yellows. They both walked out of the basin, their suction cupped feet letting them climb the steep hill no problem while C had to use her shovel as support on the way up. The entire time she felt a presence staring at her, turning around at the top of the basin she looked behind her but all she could see was the ruined temple. One of her guides made mention of the tides coming in soon and they picked up the pace. She shook her head and continued on to her destination.
Not our Mark of course, that would be ridiculous. How could he wake up peacefully after all that's happened so far and the scream pounding at the walls of the tower? No, this was a different Mark. Much different to the one we know and loathe, for one, he's a lazy, but lovely bastard. He has his own whiteboard, of course, but this one has no notes or chains on it, it has a to-do list. Which reads as such:
Wake up
Call actual self a dick
Lounge around
Flip of Pristine Secretary
Shuffling over in a happy mood, he crossed off the first one and got to the third. The fourth was something he didn't want to do, but had written when he had shades of actual him present in his dream state. Man, what a dick awake him was. Smiling to himself, he crossed off number 2 and looked outside the window. Then he looked outside and barely stifled a startled announcement of pure horror.Prospit wasn't the one he knew and loved, instead it was a bloody mess of corpses and smoking buildings.
Gulping and shuffling, he bolted the door leading to the walkway he had built to his Prospitian Sister's tower with the assistance of the locals. Acknowledging he should probably check on her, to see if she was okay and/or awake, he opened the door. The smoking, golden remains of the bridge prevented him from actually seeing her, so he slammed and bolted it, then ran over and slammed down the screen he had built over his window. With no need for weapons until this moment, Pseudo Mark had nothing to personally defend himself with.
His loyal friend was still asleep at the foot of his bed,iron scale,beautiful organ set attached to his wings and all. Stroking him gently, Mark wrapped himself in his yellow bedcovers and rocked himself gently while screams started up outside. He would have tried to convince himself it was a nightmare if he wasn't fully aware of what he was. The fear impacted him so heavily as to cause him to faint.
Mark woke up with a sudden drive. He was going to go out and find those fucking lizard-y things that dude yesterday was talking to him about. Consorts? yeah, them. He had decided he liked the dude, Selant was him name right? Anyway, Mark got marching in search of settlements.
From your place in what you hope is really thick moss you can't see much at all. Left and right is aforementioned mossy, grassy stuff and forwards is lots of sky. You manage to get back up (several minutes of completely dignified arm-flailing to free you from the moss may or may not have been involved) and take a look around. The fields of moss continue for what seems like miles in every direction, usually ending in a disappointingly bland set of mountains. Every once in a while a set of bumps in the field exist that are entirely too orderly to be hills but you can't very well tell what they are from where you are. A structure in the distance also catches your eye; it towers over the moss-laden peaks and mounds of this land and stands like a navigational beacon for all inhabitants to see. You are pretty sure that if anywhere in this place is the hip and happening place to be, that would be it.
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