Sayings that annoy you

[McMullen]

I'm almost certain.... almost, almost 100% certain, that I'm the only one currently holding my penis.

...... Almost certain.


Almost!

..... maybe 50/50?!?

You can't feel my hand? I must have gripped a little too tightly and made it go numb. Sorry about that.

 

[A Raging Emo]

'I could care less'

Couldn't.

It's 'I couldnt care less'.

[HEADING=1]ALL MY HATE![/HEADING]

Oh, frak me. "I could care less". Fucking this.

Argh. Ugh.

All my rage.

 

[ThePenguinKnight]

I'm not so sure about phrases but I can't stand certain words and another thing I'll mention below.

Goofy - Seems like a word for children and it just annoys the hell out of me hearing it.
Silly - See Above
Yummy - See Above
Daddy - See Above, seeing a pattern here?
Mommy - See Above
Tummy - See Above
Sorry - Whenever someone says this when they have no way of stopping or even involvement in a problem yet they say it anyway, what are you sorry for?

And finally, the most horrific made up word that instantly puts me in a negative mood. So bad, that I have to put it in spoilers just in case I have to look back at this comment. So bad, that just posting it is pissing me off.

Spoiler

Nini - An ex of mine uses this instead of goodnight and it drives me FUCKING CRAZY! AGHH! GOD!

 

[Nazulu]

'Haters gonna hate' - Great argument, fuck face.

'Get a life' - Because you know everything about life.

 

[EeveeElectro]

"If you don't like it, then don't read it!"
How the flying fuck monkeys will I know I don't like it if I don't read it?!

When people ask for opinions and say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!"
So, tell you everything you want to hear then? You don't think you'd benefit from constructive criticism?

An irritating number of people are using 'remedial' to mean retarded or slow. Probably confusing it with remedial classes at school, the people who need extra classes to catch up. I want to bludgeon them to death with a dictionary!

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

'I could care less'

Couldn't.

It's 'I couldnt care less'.

[HEADING=1]ALL MY HATE![/HEADING]

I'm sorry but I must disagree.

I could/couldn't care less is an idiom, a saying, a phrase, taken as a complete, not as individual words. Thus the meaning of the words is made by the completed phrase, not the individual meanings of the words.

Has somebody ever said 'I could care less' to you, and you have thought 'ah ha! so you do care a little!' Or do you automatically correct it in your head to 'you couldn't care less?' If you are the first then I'm sorry but you are such an obsessive compulsive pedant that it's a wonder you manage to brush your teeth without raging at the fragment sentences frequently displayed by marketers.

Language is about communication. In an informal situation (the only situation an idiom such as could/couldn't care less would be used) then as long as the intent of the sentence is understood then you shouldn't complain, because it has done its job.

Like your post, you used an incomplete sentence fragment to express your anger towards it. I understood that sentence, I know that what you mean is '(I give) all (of) my hate (to people who misuse the word could in the sentence I could care less).' Thus your outburst of 'ALL MY HATE' has told me exactly what you mean, without the need for all the extra clutter.

As for OP, very seriously this is something that annoys me. Ever since David Mitchell did that stupid fucking soapbox rant about it everyone everywhere on the itnernet has been quoting, and people immediately requote that Stephen Fry speech back at them. It's annoying and I wish people would stop doing it.

 

[Bvenged]

The word/saying that puts me into a silent, sometimes verbal, rage induced coma-like state, is:

[HEADING=2]Apparently...[/HEADING]

If I'm talking with someone about something in the news, something in games, something we have planned for the future et cetera - the moment, the moment, they say "Apparently..." I know the following sentence is nothing but absolute bullshit and will be on equal terms to a vague rumour. I don't care for rumours as they nearly always turn out to be wrong.

FOR EXAMPLE:
-: "Lets go paint balling."
Me: "Sure, how about X place?"
-: "Apparently [small](birds fall out of the sky, the sun retreats behind the hills & babies start crying)[/small] they only let you have 50 paintballs per match."
Me:

"Even if that was true, it would be a stupid move from a business point of view."
-: "Hmm yeah, I suppose so."

 

[JWRosser]

'I could care less'

Couldn't.

It's 'I couldnt care less'.

[HEADING=1]ALL MY HATE![/HEADING]

This is EXACTLY what I was going to say!
"could care less" makes no sense in the context...it implies that you still somewhat care, which is the opposite of what you're trying to convey!


Also, and this may be more a British thing, when people say "I can't be asked". It's meant to be "can't be arsed", as it, can't be bothered. "Can't be asked" makes no sense - you have no power over what I ask you!!