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Redd the Sock

New member
Apr 14, 2010
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I'd love to get the tax scammers. I'm certified in tax preparation and could fuck with their minds horribly.
 

Quellist

Migratory coconut
Oct 7, 2010
1,443
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UK here, get them all the time. Again always Indian...the two most popular are "I am calling from Windows Security/tech support etc and your computer is giving out bad information, your computer is infected with a virus" Or "You were in an accident two years ago and are entitled to compensation"

Usually i just tell them to fuck off but if i'm bored i string them along and waste as much of their time as possible (My record is 30 minutes where i pretended to be the most computer dense guy in the world with an ancient Windows 3.0 system, the guy switched tactic and tried to get me to buy a new OS from him and when i told him i didn't have a credit card or bank account tried to get me to steal one from my family!)
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
19,316
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I literally raged out on one so hard they stopped calling.

I have no idea how. O__O

We had about eight "You have a virus" calls throughout a week when we usually have one a month, and on the eighth one I was so upset that I just hulked out.

It's been a year since then, not a single call.
 

Zontar

Mad Max 2019
Feb 18, 2013
4,931
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lacktheknack said:
I literally raged out on one so hard they stopped calling.

I have no idea how. O__O

We had about eight "You have a virus" calls throughout a week when we usually have one a month, and on the eighth one I was so upset that I just hulked out.

It's been a year since then, not a single call.
Evidently you got added to the real "no call list" and not the bullshit one we're all a part of.

You have my envy of angry one.

Though I do love it when some Indian tech support guy (yeah, that's still a thing for these scams) calls about our system having trouble and Microsoft needing "x" done. It's funny because our main desktop is a Mac and it's always the owner of that one who gets named, not the owner of our actual Microsoft PC-using desktop, or either of us with a Microsoft using laptop. Not, just the one person who literally doesn't even use a PC gets those calls.
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

Henchgoat Emperor
May 15, 2010
5,499
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Since I screen every number that isn't in my phone (if you call me from a number I don't know, know me and DON'T leave a message you're an idiot), I never get these calls. Or at least if I do I don't ever hear them as they also don't leave messages.
Voicemail exists for a reason, and if its an emergency you'll leave a number. I don't even have a landline. No need for it. One of the benefits of antisocial tendencies.
 

CeeBod

New member
Sep 4, 2012
188
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MysticSlayer said:
Personally, I generally dislike it when people yell at someone on the phone. I always liked my older brother's approach: "Oh, I'm sorry, I have really bad diarrhea and have to go right now!"
I was impressed when I heard about my Grandad's method of dealing with scammers - he'd be very polite to them and would make agreeable noises, so they thought that he was exactly the kind of idiot they were after, and when they went into full-on sales pitch mode, he'd quietly put the phone handset down and go and make himself a cup of tea. Eventually the scammer would realise that the person they were talking to wasn't there any longer and hang up, but they could waste quite a lot of time talking to nobody before then. Lots of wasted time on one call means they get to annoy less people that day!
 

Pirate Of PC Master race

Rambles about half of the time
Jun 14, 2013
596
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Parasondox said:
Who ever said they wish to live forever, FUCK OFF!! If you aren't loaded, do you really want to work all your life until you can't retire or die? Good luck.

Fucking People. Well that's an intro. I honestly do not get it. I really don't. Yes, you can finally call me a retard. You know. If you weren't already. Each day, yes day, at work I am always faced with a new notice about fraudulent activities and scams involving certain customers looking for money that isn't theirs and things they haven't earned.
I however, want to live forever. I recommend you to find "internet enlightenment" - which can be obtained by surfing the worst kind of forum for straight 2 years(and not go mad).

And I for one think they deserve some golf claps for trying, unless I have something better to do than talking to them.

I can give you tips though. Keep asking simple questions and fail to fine answer. "Where is the start button?", "what is the task-bar?", "Oops, I pressed wrong button and turned off the window! could you start from the beginning please?".

According to my personal experience, this can go person mad within 60 minutes.
 

Parasondox

New member
Jun 15, 2013
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Oh God I just remembered one from a few years ago.

Got a call, they told me that I was in debt of about somewhat pounds and if I don't pay it back, they will send the bailiff round and face criminal action. They didn't even say who they were calling and I was 18 at the time. I had zero credit history. I even asked who he was calling from and all he replied back was, "Debt examiners and you need to pay us asap".

I told him to fuck off and hung up but straight away he rang back and said I rude I was and how I shouldn't have hung up the phone on him like that. I was just surprised as hell that he rang back. He must really needed money I didn't have.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
15,489
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aegix drakan said:
At least 3 times a year, we get a call from "Windows security services" by someone usually with a VERY think indian accent telling me how my computer is infected.
Quellist said:
UK here, get them all the time. Again always Indian...the two most popular are "I am calling from Windows Security/tech support etc and your computer is giving out bad information, your computer is infected with a virus" Or "You were in an accident two years ago and are entitled to compensation"
It's funny, 'cause apart from the ridiculous story, these men could have been actual Microsoft employees.

OT: I don't get calls like this. I have the usual email bullshit, which I point and laugh at. Weirdest ones have to be where I get spam from places like 'Youtube' and 'Google', claiming my account isn't working right, so please use this link to verify- Yeah right.
 

Addendum_Forthcoming

Queen of the Edit
Feb 4, 2009
3,647
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I've been called once by a phone scammer. Telling me that the tax office made a mistake and I needed to give them my details and photocopy and email some photo ID. I pretended to be old and asked to hold the line while I turn on my 'lap computer' ... cued up a sound of nails on chalkboard and blasted that into the receiver.
 

Cold Shiny

New member
May 10, 2015
297
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Here is my story:

I was on a COMPLETELY REPUTABLE AND NOT INAPPROPRIATE WEBSITE, and I somehow get a program that locks every file on my computer. A message appeared on my desktop saying that it would delete all files on my computer unless I gave the scammer 300$ dollars.

A Lenny face appeared in my head.

Literally everything on my computer is safe in cloud storage.

I restored my computer to factory condition, virus program gone, and I lose nothing.

SUCK IT LOSERS!!!!
 

chadachada123

New member
Jan 17, 2011
2,310
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Disco Biscuit said:
I have a call blocker, and take great pleasure in whacking those numbers out of my existence. My cell just doesn't get them, since I'm insanely protective of that number.
I use one too, and unfortunately, they've seemed to have found a way around it. I now get calls at least once a week from a number very similar to my own phone number. According to the internet, they're just spoofing numbers similar to mine with the hopes that I'll answer it. I'm not about to answer, obviously, but there have been times I've almost answered because the number looked familiar.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
15,489
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PaulH said:
I've been called once by a phone scammer. Telling me that the tax office made a mistake and I needed to give them my details and photocopy and email some photo ID. I pretended to be old and asked to hold the line while I turn on my 'lap computer' ... cued up a sound of nails on chalkboard and blasted that into the receiver.

Very nice. I approve. You are going in my record for great telemarketing deterrents, even though it wasn't against telemarketers.
 

Fijiman

I am THE PANTS!
Legacy
Dec 1, 2011
16,509
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1
When T.J. Max moved I to the mall I tried to aply there because I needed a job at the time. When I poked around on their site on how to apply it sent me to a third party site which apparently acted as some sort of job seach hub thing or whatever. "Fair enough," I think to myself and set up an account, during which there is a part asking if I was interested in they're college program, to which I answered "not at this time." After then failing to find anything related to a job at the place I originally intended I gave up for the day and moved on. Then, a few days later I receive a call asking if I was still interested in their college program, to which I politely answer no, said goodbye and hung up. Over the next several weeks they continued to call me about it, and while I tried to stay polite, after the second week of it I was starting to get pissed. At one point when I saw the number and answered I wouldn't even give them time to say hello before loudly yelling that I was not interested in their stupid program and to stop calling me, and at another point I would just strait up hang up on them. A while after I started doing that they seemed to have finally got the message. Suffice to say thought that it gave me damn good reason not to want to apply for anywhere online.
 

DarthCoercis

New member
May 28, 2016
250
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I used to get a lot of calls from "Windows Company" telling me my computer was broadcasting a virus, and from the "Australia Government Solar Rebate Department" (that is a thing that does not exist), often in the same day. I even got the "Windows Company" call 4 times in the same day once. As I was home recuperating from a car crash, and was taking some rather potent medication, I had fun with them for a little while. After 12 calls in less than a week though I got bored and just started playing Uncle Fucker from the south park movie down the phone at high volume. They stopped calling after a few days of that.
 

Sonmi

Renowned Latin Lover
Jan 30, 2009
579
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Other than your good old average "direct marketing" pyramid scheme job offer, I don't think I've ever been targeted by a scam.
 

Disco Biscuit

New member
Mar 19, 2016
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chadachada123 said:
Disco Biscuit said:
I have a call blocker, and take great pleasure in whacking those numbers out of my existence. My cell just doesn't get them, since I'm insanely protective of that number.
I use one too, and unfortunately, they've seemed to have found a way around it. I now get calls at least once a week from a number very similar to my own phone number. According to the internet, they're just spoofing numbers similar to mine with the hopes that I'll answer it. I'm not about to answer, obviously, but there have been times I've almost answered because the number looked familiar.
That happens here too, but I've just started screening calls. How many calls do you get from any number you don't know, when you're hot expecting a call that day from a new number? If it's important they'll leave a message, and you can call back immediately. No message... block the number. #'s are always more expensive than blocking #'s, so you'll only have to do it every so often.

Best of luck to you!
 

Lufia Erim

New member
Mar 13, 2015
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Imperioratorex Caprae said:
Since I screen every number that isn't in my phone (if you call me from a number I don't know, know me and DON'T leave a message you're an idiot), I never get these calls. Or at least if I do I don't ever hear them as they also don't leave messages.
Voicemail exists for a reason, and if its an emergency you'll leave a number. I don't even have a landline. No need for it. One of the benefits of antisocial tendencies.

This. So much this. Hell send me a text message I'll answer quicker. I hate speaking on the phone.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
10,400
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A girl at school had Pok?mon cards that were supposedly real, official cards. I traded her my rare Vileplume card for one.

But the more I thought about it, the weirder the card I got was. It had ridiculously high stats--way higher than any other cards I'd seen. The pok?mon on it had its Japanese name, and was from Gold/Silver, who weren't released yet. Also, it felt weirdly stiff, as if somebody had pasted a picture on a card to change its look. When I pointed all this out to her, she let me change back.
 

Cap'nPipsqueak

New member
Jul 2, 2016
185
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If I get any more bloody false lawsuit phone calls, I'm going to get violent. I'm getting a couple a day sometimes, and they have between ten thousand and ten million numbers to harass me with. I don't even have the option of blocking the area code they use.