Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink'

[Manbro]

I would go back to the time of the dinosaurs take a few samples of some of the most dangerous back with me, then expose them to FEV (Forced Evolutionary Virus). This would turn them into some kind of super-race who were smarter than humans, yet kept some of their deadly features. They also learned to use advance technology. Then I would make them fanatically loyal to me and only me. Then use them to rule the WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Elurindel]

I'd go back in time to when Bill Gates was just starting up, and offer to invest in as much of his company as possible.

 

[JMeganSnow]

I would go to the destruction of the Berlin Wall. I would have loved to be there for the sheer exhilaration of freeing half a population. Plus, it's a bunch of people gleefully knocking down a barrier with various implements of destruction. Who would turn that down?

I *was* there. It wasn't as fun as you think, what with the water cannons and everything.

I'd probably go back and visit Ayn Rand, it'd be nice to chat with her for 60 minutes. (This is assuming that the effort required to GET the time machine means that I have no real use for grabbing gold or diamonds.)

Either that, or tip people off about 9/11.

There are a lot of things that'd be fun to do.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Go back in time and ensure people write proper histories of the English Civil war, rather than the 'Cromwell waz teh Evilzh!!' crap that floats around today.

 

[MrGFunk]

Being a Jew I would go back in time and sawn-off-shotgun Adolph Hitler's Head.

That's a good shout, right at his baby head.
Yep. I don't care it's a Baby. Dead. He was born evil.

If I set the time machine for the creation of the time machine I could replace it and the creator would believe it was a failure but I'd have a spanking new fully working time machine.

And if I had a wish I'd wish for ten more wishes.(sic)

 

[the_tramp]

I would go back and finally find out who assassinated JFK.

 

[PlasticPorter]

Im pretty s

Hypothetical situation: Through a series of trades and favors, you are now the proud owner of the world's only functional time machine. The previous owner has assured you that it will function properly, a statement evidenced by his vast collection of stolen presidential socks dating back to the 1700's.


With regards to the title of the thread: The machine goes 'boink' when you hit the 'go' button. A shiny new cookie is yours if you understand the reference.

Im pretty sure it was the duplicator that went boink
the time machine had its own book

 

[RufusMcLaser]

As much as I'd love to see the glory that was Rome, or take in a medieval marketplace, I must first defer to good sense and instead make myself slightly wealthy, whilst doing minimal damage to causality.
Therefore:
I should go to Sweden, in the year 1855, and purchase two Three Skilling Banco stamps, the ones with the yellow color error. I would make arrangements for these stamps to be held awaiting my return in 153 years. I would then sell them for, hopefully, 2 to 4 million dollars. This sum would be enough to keep me nicely financially independent while I pursue a career in something fun.

Free cookie (thin mint, specifically) to whoever names the story that pioneered this particular scheme.

 

[Gotham Soul]

Battle of Hastings.

That is all.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Being the Atheist that I am, I would go back to precisely when Jesus was supposed to be ressurected, just so I could know for myself that all christian religion is bunk, but that's just me. It would reaffirm my faith in the value of the world knowing that we are not beholden to some otherworldly power that unfairly judges us.

 

[Strategia]

I'd go 20 years into the future, buy a (by then) 10-year old PC for two pennies and a dead spider, and vintage games like Civilization VI, Call of Duty 8, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City III, SPORE 2, Heroes of Might & Magic VII, Diablo 4, Dawn of War III and Command & Conquer 5 for three pennies, two dead spiders and some dust bunnies. Since I wouldn't need to spend more than, say, 20 minutes on that, I'd go back in time, make sure THQ bought the Homeworld IP off Vivendi as a package with Relic, then go back to the future and buy a Homeworld anthology pack. Depending on how much time I've got left over, I'd then download 21 years of Zero Punctuation, and a full version of my ZH mod.

What can I say, I'm a gamer =P

 

[Zomni42]

I'd tell the Native Americans what the settlers were really up to DON"T TAKE THE BLANKETS!! MYyself and proly half the modern population ceases to exist w/ a really high chance of a universe collapsing time travel paradox. i'd still do it.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

I like the Red Dwarf idea of JFK myself, where they brought JFK back from a future where he had survived, screwed everything up and been imprisoned, so they bring him to the grassy knoll and let him assassinate himself in the present.

'I tell you, Mr President Sir, not only have you done the right thing, but it'll drive the conspiracy nuts mad!'

 

[Space Spoons]

Im pretty sure it was the duplicator that went boink
the time machine had its own book

True, but I wasn't referring to the duplicator specifically. I was referring to what it meant for scientific progress.

 

[sonicmaster1989]

I would punch Miley Cyrus, Hillary Duff, Ashlee Simpson, and Paris Hilton while they were still in the womb.

That or go back to the middle ages with a tank, some fuel, a Barret sniper with lots of ammo, an M-16 with tons of ammo, and some modern medicine in case they actually get me.

 

[Uncompetative]

I wouldn't use it, time travel is dangerous.

 

[orifice]

I'd visit the primordial ooze, then take a dump in it! Then I'd cough and sneeze a few times for good measure. That should screw everything up everything nicely!

 

[GenHellspawn]

I would go back and finally find out who assassinated JFK.

Already done [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_harvey_oswald].

 

[orifice]

I'd go back to the origins of WW1 and prevet Franz Ferdinand from being assassinated. That would save a few million lives, as ww2 wouldn't happen either

Sorry to ruin this for you, but ww1 would still have happened. All the empire nations of europe had been drawing up plans for that war at least 20 years in advance. The germans had laid down the Scheiffer plan in 1896. The assasination of franz ferdinand was merely an excuse to start the ball rolling.