Seduction?

[Erana]

I often hear people telling me that I should make more use of my looks. And occasionally, I've been given things just because I'm a pretty young woman. I generally feel guilty for this kind of affection, (though I'm the kinda person who feels guilty for getting any gifts, so its prolly just me.) I'm asexual and without a sex drive, so the chemistry of these sorts of things are lost on me.
There are few men in my life (other than on the interwebz, of course) so I generally only hear the women's side of the "pretty woman-man interaction," but I never hear anything from the man's side. Do you give things to attractive women? Where do you draw the line between one "using their looks" and downright seduction? Have people manipulated you by their looks, and how do you feel afterwards?
Where do you find the line between looking nice and being sexual about it?

And to my fellow Female Escapists, where are you on using your sexual appeal to affect others?

 

[Palademon]

I think gifts just because someone is physically attractive is shallow kissing up. Unless maybe if they actually have any other feelings for you.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

I have never, ever given a woman anything because she was attractive.

I am 100% immune to being manipulated by an attractive woman.

[sub]Back of the line, miss.[/sub]

 

[the_pleasure_is_mine]

Being the devilishly handsome guy that I am (/satire) I occasionally get 'gifts' (I so count that free packet of hobnobs) and feel the better for it!

Okay but seriously now... there's nothing wrong with a bit of harmless flirting (meaning, you are not flirting to somehow gain something), and if people want to give you gifts it's nothing more than marginally creepy really.

It gets too much when someone believed they can get anything/control anyone just because of their looks.
I believe people have tried that on me... however they were people I had already figured out were maipulative so I just kinda ignored them.

I suppose the line between looking nice and being sexual depends on tightness of clothing*cleavage shown.

 

[Irridium]

Using your looks to get things is a pretty big dick move. Quite a few girls tried it on me before. And it was funny telling them no, and them getting confused at the fact that a guy like me said no to a girl like them.

I say don't do it.

 

[Link XL1]

i dont give things to attractive people, i make them earn it!

but, no seriously, i'd only give gifts if i was dating the girl, otherwise it'd seem a little creepy or weird. as for manipulation, some girls have tried, but i was either turned off by their preppy-ness or the fact that they weren't hot enough to get that to work. this is something i really hate, when a girl THINKS she's cute, or hot, or whatever, and tries to use that to get something. and i'm just sitting there going "ummm, sorry your not THAT hot". thankfully though, most girls i know only do that sort of thing as a joke, and dont actually mean it.

as for you not having a sex drive... well, that's probably the best and worst thing ever.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Also being asexual, I can't really add much to this.

I will say, however, that I have noticed women attempting to use their looks to get something from me or someone else.
I do call them out on it, usually with harsh mockery, but I cannot say it bothers me that much. The people who actually fucking fall for it piss me off a lot more.
I mean, really. How can you not fucking see through that.

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

There used to be this girl that I really liked who I would have given anything to be with, literally, (until I found out she was a massive twattycake) but during this "honeymoon" period I admit I allowed myself to be strung along to the point where I did things for her without question..till one day a couple of friends pounded me in the head with a saucepan so that I could see whats happening.

So yes, I have been manipulated by a vixen (you haven't really lived unless otherwise) but in general I don't buy gifts as an "in" with pretty women. A conversation and perhaps coffee/dinner would suffice till I get to know her better.

Funnily enough I have received gifts for no apparent reason as well but I don't know if it was for my dashing looks or because I was sporting a spiffy hat or if it was that Doctor Who costume...

 

[astrav1]

Forgive me madam but I don't think anyone should use their looks to manipulate. If you don't then that is good, as for me I don't allow women to manipulate me. It's funny to see peoples reactions when they see that I actually have pride.

 

[Christemo]

being only 15 and not in Denmark´s equal of high school yet i have no experience of girls trying to manipulate me with their looks. i would call that out however, as im a guy with a lot of willpower. in the situation of being a attractive young woman, being the hypocrite that i am, i would probably do it myself, as i like life-stuff to be as easy as possible.

 

[Erana]

Using your looks to get things is a pretty big dick move. Quite a few girls tried it on me before. And it was funny telling them no, and them getting confused at the fact that a guy like me said no to a girl like them.

I say don't do it.

When I'm told, "Use your looks," its not necessarily flirting with someone to get them to give me things, but more of the idea of adding sexual viability into my interactions. I suppose in a way, they're suggesting that I be a bit flirtatious.

If you were to interact with a woman, would you want a bit of casual flirting involved? It seems expected of decent-looking young women these days.

Also, what does it mean these days to accept a drink from a guy?

 

[ThreeWords]

I don't give gifts as a rule, partly cos I don't think you can buy affection like that, and partly cos I suck at gifts (most of the time)

There have been times when attractive girls have tried to get what they want by a little persuasive body language, and I usually go along with it, but when they push it too far, their reaction is usually quite amusing when they find out I prefer guys

As for using my looks... I'm passably handsome, but my persuasive force is in my attitude; if people aren't expecting it they're putty in my hands.

 

[Rakkana]

Pfft women try but I usually end up doing the seducing

 

[Napierdalac]

I have recieved quite a bit of gifts, from this one girl working the lokal gas station.. Im really nothing special to look at, but i am damn charming.
I knew she had a thing for me, because she allways had another smile for me than any other customer, and my friends said she allways asked them how i was. I was not into her at all, but i strung her along.

Untill i tried getting strung along i thought it was harmless.. There was this one girl that used her femine charms to get stuff from me, right until someone willing to spend more money on her came along.

After i realised that i did the exact same thing on the gas station girl, i actually apoligized to her.

 

[Irridium]

Using your looks to get things is a pretty big dick move. Quite a few girls tried it on me before. And it was funny telling them no, and them getting confused at the fact that a guy like me said no to a girl like them.

I say don't do it.

When I'm told, "Use your looks," its not necessarily flirting with someone to get them to give me things, but more of the idea of adding sexual viability into my interactions. I suppose in a way, they're suggesting that I be a bit flirtatious.

If you were to interact with a woman, would you want a bit of casual flirting involved? It seems expected of decent-looking young women these days.

Also, what does it mean these days to accept a drink from a guy?

But... that doesn't make much sense. To me it sounds like they're telling you to be more flirtatious "just because". Which is not a good reason, for anything.

As for accepting drinks, I don't know. With the way its been shown in movies, it means that the girl is like, totally into the guy. Or something. But thats movies, so they aren't a good thing to go by.

 

[JanatUrlich]

Haha I've also been given things just because of my looks, but I don't think that's down to the girl. The way I see it, it's the guy's problem if he's willing to just give stuff away to girls he doesn't necessarily have any chance with. I see no problem with taking advantage of idiots like that. It may be sexual to them, but it doesn't have to be to you.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

A friend of mine said "The male libido is like being chained to an idiot who is far stronger than yourself".

Guys can be clouded pretty easily by a pretty face, whether they like it or not. Can't say it's not happened to me. Usually to do with T&A being on show... revealing outfits let chicks get what they want. Curse them!

On the subject of taking a drink, think of it this way: free drink.

 

[2fish]

Well I consider myself average looking but I flirt with most females I run across, however this really means nothing coming from me. When I like a person I do flirt but not in the same way and not as much. It is a subtle change with me.


I have been lead along by looks but then my hormones calmed down and I twisted (two separate events) due to these factors looks became way less important.

Now that you know how weird I am you can ignore my advice at will.

So do what you feel like, if you use your looks be careful as that is a balancing act. I tend to think that the shallower the girl the more she uses her looks. As you seem like a person who thinks things through this is not a problem I would associate with you.

As far as I know a drink allows conversation and gives they guy hope, this is a perfect time to build him up then run him over with a bus.