TL;DR - Regardless of gender, don't intentionally imply something (weather physical or emotional) that you're not comfortable following through on.
Firstly: I don't think it's a specifically female thing - men are more likely to give attractive women *stuff* (eg: buying drinks, etc), whereas women are more likely to give attractive men *attention* (eg: flirting, etc).
As for the morality of it: IMO the line in the sand is drawn when you imply acceptance of something that you're not willing to go through with (weather it be a simple beer, going on a date, or even sex) in order to get something in return.
As a man, for example, I tend to refuse the offer of a drink from women, since I usually have no intention of dating the person who offers it. While it's true that technically a drink is just a drink, it is *implied* that by accepting I am open to the possibility of a relationship with the buyer, which, since I know I'm not, I feel would be disingenuous.
Erana said:
When I'm told, "Use your looks," its not necessarily flirting with someone to get them to give me things, but more of the idea of adding sexual viability into my interactions. I suppose in a way, they're suggesting that I be a bit flirtatious.
Again, IMO, if you're not comfortable being sexually viable, don't imply that you are. Be yourself, not who you think the other person wants you to be (apologies for the triteness of that sentiment...). You might get a little less free stuff, but you'll get better friends and relationships in the long run; not to mention having a clearer conscience!
Erana said:
If you were to interact with a woman, would you want a bit of casual flirting involved? It seems expected of decent-looking young women these days.
Personally, I find women flirting with me to be a little disconcerting: it's usually obvious, and I've yet to feel the need to respond. I'm much more likely to connect with a woman (romantically or otherwise) if she actually expresses herself, rather than using redundant physical clichés. Flirting might be a little arousing, but ultimately the type of woman who consistently behaves suggestively is typically not the type of woman men are interested in being in a relationship with.
Of course, as far as teenage boys/casual sex goes, flirting remains the lifeblood of inter-gender interactions!
I wouldn't say people expect flirting, but if you are so inclined, occasional innocent (honest) flirting is basically harmless fun for both of you.
Erana said:
Also, what does it mean these days to accept a drink from a guy?
As for what accepting a drink from a guy means to the guy: I feel it means that you're open to the idea of a relationship with him; so if you're definitely not, don't accept, in my opinion.
With that said, I find the specifics of the potential buyers' grammar revealing - lets say you're talking to a member of the opposite sex in a pub or bar. He/She then says:
"Can I buy you a drink?" = implied potential romance.
"Shall we get some drinks?" = enjoying conversation, closer to friendship than romance.
Dear god relationships are complex...
