Selling Life on Earth, how would you accomplish it?

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

If you were tasked with selling Earth as a tourist attraction or perhaps draw folks to live there (whatever species)how would you approach it? What would be your highlights? Would you be honest about the drawbacks? Who or what are you trying to sell living on or at least vacationing at this planet?
I'm just curious as to how one would categorize or market living or vacationing on Earth.

Captcha is weirdly on topic: Want to get away?

 

[tippy2k2]

Well first I'd make sure I'm NOT marketing to the aliens from "Signs". That just wouldn't' go well...

Stay out of the Middle East. That's bound to not end well...A couple of countries in Asia are not a great destination either since a few of those are run by nutter butters...

I bet they'd love the ocean (again, assuming it's not the Signs aliens). They have the technology to fly all the way over here, I bet they'd have the ability to just live in the ocean. Look at all that untapped real estate! Be careful of jelly fish though.

 

[Veylon]

Marketing depends on the audience. A drawback to one set of folks is a draw to another. You might well want to sell Earth as this seedy, violence-soaked hellhole.

I sort of imagine sufficiently advanced aliens as having used their skills and technology to create perfectly safe, well-ordered lives. Those who want to leave such a society - even temporarily - would likely value a place where everything isn't quite so bolted down and organized. Earth: Chaos Incarnate!

 

[Eamar]

Completely depends on the nature and experiences of the potential tourists, but off the top of my head I'd agree with Tippy - I reckon the oceans would be a pretty good bet. Especially if I could set up some sort of armada of submersibles so they could go on underwater safaris and check out all the cool, freaky sealife. There's so much variety down there, some of it has to be completely new and exciting to them.

EDIT: Hell, screw the alien tourists, can we just work on making underwater safaris a thing? Pretty please?

 

[Brian Tams]

Wow, I'm absolutely shocked that I read the title of the thread, and it turned out to be exactly what I had thought it was going to be about before entering. I'm amazed. This is a first for me.

OT: I'd probably just point out our massively diverse biomes. Like desert? Got 'em. Ocean? Check. Ice? Check. Overpopulated, smog covered cities? Checks in spades.

 

[Gustof26]

Come one come all, bear witness to the most amazing site. A sentient species that believe themselves alone in the universe. A species that has existed for over ten thousands year without leaving their solar system. We give you the one, the only, Earth home of the Homo-Sapiens. With our cloaking ships you can watch this information age people go about their lives. Take pictures, and hostages. That's right for 40,000 credits you can abduct one of these creatures as long as your sign our waver to ensure you wipe their memory. So come on and visit the greatest Zoo in all the United Empire of Zoah.

 

[FPLOON]

Well, first off, I would ask them a set of questions that would tell me exactly what would sell them to visit Earth as an [intergalactic] tourist... The last thing I want to do is show them something that could trigger them to go at war with us... or worse, as in they decide to never come back to Earth even on their planet's equivalent to what we call a "Holiday"...

Second, once I know what would interest them the most, that's where I begin the tour... Granted, not all tours will be the same, assuming this "aliens" [which hopefully we would have a human equivalent to their species' name] have different personalities just like us...

Third, if everything goes off "swimmingly"[footnote]I wonder if that would count as a "pun intended", if they're what we call amphibious or something...[/footnote], then hopefully they tell their "friends" and we could continue doing business like this... and then some... *wink wink*

 

[Esotera]

Sex sells. I'd give the aliens exclusive rights to anal probing rural farmers and to eviscerate cows. Assuming someone else hadn't already taken my business model.

Alternatively, I'd go with the zoo approach - "Look at the dumb monkeys and how cute they are"

 

[Gizmo1990]

I could sell this planet to any alien with 3 simple words.

We have cookies.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I would probably advertise the inner aspect of Earth like cave, urban or inside some famous shopping mall since I assuming the alien have already seen our beautiful landscape from their probe or telescope. Granted they may have already invented stealth probe to check in close areas already without detection.

 

[Foolery]

Heh. I came into this thread, thinking it might be about selling the populace of the planet into slavery or something.
Anyway, once you go intergalactic, Earth doesn't seem like it'd be all that great.

 

[Someone Depressing]

Easy; Margaret Thatcher pin-ups!

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Assuming Single-Biome planets are a thing that happens, I would advertise that Earth has a really diverse set of ecosystems. The difference between a forest, a desert and, a beach paradise are only a few thousand kilometers of travel. With out diverse ecosystems come diverse wildlife to study or otherwise just enjoy observing in their natural habitats. I'd also like to think we're the only planet that has something that we consider really commonplace...maybe extraterrestrials don't know what Oranges are? Or Potatoes!

 

[Queen Michael]

"Like the taste of that? We call those cookies. And we've got more of them. Plenty more."

 

[krazykidd]

I wouldn't . I'd tell them to get the hell away from here. Humans are hostile. Very hostile, even if they are going up against a more powerful entity.

 

[Risingblade]

Baby animals duh?

Capcha: TAKE THE CAKE

Yes cake too...

 

[shootthebandit]

Pubs are probably the best places on earth. I would take aliens on a pub crawl and then a nightclub. Electronic music, lights, smoke and sticky floors to give the impression of more gravity. They'll love it

 

[Arakasi]

I'd sell it on anything that differs from the alien culture, based on whatever they find enjoyable or desirable. Obviously since I have no idea about what the alien's culture/tastes are, the point is moot.