I would reenact famous scenes from the theatre, but in Chav/Gangsta speak, on the deck of a boat floating in a small tank of artic-tempreture water, duking it out Battle of Trafalgar style with another boat, but with AA guns
And mecha-polar bears
And it would all be acted out by your prisoners, enemies and slaves. The winner gets to be released and given the title of "Crowning Survivor of the Awesomapocalypse"
He would only keep his title and freedom if noone else made it through next month's Awesomapocalypse, and so he would work in tandem with me to design and coreograph an even harder gaunlet of crazy bloodshed to ensure noone made it through
For ever and ever
With commentary from the Quake chap