I don't "fart" rainbows at high "velocity"...[footnote]And I thought only Derpy thought that...[/footnote] The rainbows in question come from my mane in combination with breaking the sound barrier at high speeds... Or, I think that's how Twilight described it to me... I honestly wasn't paying that much attention to the "legalistics" of it all other than "go fast, break sound, sonic rainboom, I'm awesome"...
@Bagger 288: I-what? What even is that? Is that suppose to be me or something? All I see is my head and legs on something that's definitely not my real body! *gets frustrated* Is this some kind of joke or something because, unlike my jokes[footnote]And to a certain extent Pinkie's jokes...[/footnote], I'm not laughing...
I am but an ordinary lamp, though, I guess lamps generally aren't sentient and capable of speech...
When the school year started, I had been there.
I have always been there.
My job simple, to provide the area I was placed in with illumination.
A job I carried out with pride and efficiency.
Nobody ever paid me any mind, walking past me day in and day out.
From the very start I knew something was up, but despite being capable of speech, I am unable to form complex words.
Because I am a lamp.
I've attempted to warn them, but nobody can understand me...
My warnings fall on deaf ears as a student is slain on the first day.
Once word got out about a talking lamp, and then a murder afterwards, people got scared.
Scared of a lamp.
Some time after, as the remaining students converse and attempt to figure out who had killed their classmate, I was surrounded by students.
They were angry.
They were scared.
I attempted to talk them down, but again, they could not understand.
One of them grabbed me and I was taken to another part of the school.
It was the shop.
Here, the students would find various tools to see to my demise, thinking me responsible for the murder.
How absurd, I can't even move, much less carry out a homicide!
But, nonetheless, I am powerless (Ha-ha) to stop what is coming.
A student grabs a sledgehammer, and with but a few swings easily destroys the lamp.
Miraculously, my bulb is completely unharmed, I feel no pain from the destruction of the rest of me, however.
Lamps can't feel pain.
So, in a "fitting" end, another student picks up my bulb and screws it into a hanging light fixture, and muddles about with the wiring.
Power returns to my bulb.
Too much power.
Much as I try to contain it, it's just beyond my manufacturing.
In what seems like an eternity, my bulb overloads, showering the area below it in dust and glass fragments.
I.... am....... Lamp.
You have destroyed an innocent lamp.
Are you happy now?!
NOT EVEN FURNITURE IS SAFE
YOU WILL BE NEXT TABLE-KUN
Oh no... I don't know what came over me. I see now that something so incandescent as a lamp could not commit such a foul deed, yet I thought it best to destroy it. I am terribly sorry. I shall do my best to avenge you, my sunlampbro!
My Ring of +7 Protection makes it impossible for the killer to take me out. I found it a garage sale. Only cost 20$ too. It's a steal I'd say. You hear that killer!? You're worth 20$! That's all that's needed to stop you!
*looks through forum*
The lamp was the first to go, as was the medic? I guess that'll make the round go faster. So uh, how do you feel about the lamp's death, Pinhead? Is class going good for you?
Pin: "IT'S SUFFERING IN THE REALMS BEYOND WILL 'BRIGHTEN' MANY A DANK CORRIDOR IN ALL OF OUR HEARTS. AS FOR THE SCHOOL, I LIKE THE GYMNASTICS DEPARTMENT. I ENJOY SEEING THEM WRITHE IN PAIN."
....how did you get in this school again?
Pin: "YOU OPENED THE BOX. I CAME."
Welp.. Try to fit in a little better, why don't you?
Pin: "NO. I WILL, HOWEVER, LOOK INTO THEIR METHODS OF CREATING PLEASURE AND PAIN; SUCH AS THE GYMNASIUM."
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
... :I
