The lights were out.
The night was dark.
The sky was falling.
CRACK!
Schizzy awoke to the chill of a storm.
CRACK!
"Holy bear balls on fire!"
Now fully awake, the storm had his full attention.
"Must be nature's payback for not recycling those coke cans last night" mumbled Schizzy.
CRACK!
"Look, I'm sorry!"
CRACK!
"Y'know what, nature! Screw you!"
Schizzy put on his pants, grabbed a steel baseball bat and ran out to meet nature.
CRACK!
He slipped and fell face first into his bat.
"Crapballs in a puddle of urine!"
He got up again.
CRACK!
An electric arc jumped from an electric socket and zapped Schizzy's pinky toe.
"Puking poodle panties! I'm gonna kill you!"
Muttering under his breath now, he ran out to meet nature.
"Stop being a naggy old ***** or I'm going to open a can of whupass in your direction!"
In that instant, the rain stopped.
And there was silence.
"That's better. Now stay that way!"
"*****!"
[HEADING=1]CRACK!!![/HEADING]
In the morning...
Two Hman and Keelzbunny, tasked with their first execution, arrived at Schizzy's home.
"Keelz?"
"Yeah?"
"We don't have to do this."
"What do you mean? 'We don't have to do this'? Of course what have to do this! He's the frickin' killer!"
"Yes, but..."
"And it's my first execution! Don't you want to do this?"
"Yes..."
"Look, I'll kill him, then you can do your hip thrust thing. How about that? I'll even take a picture."
"I'd love to, but he's already dead!" snapped Hman.
"What?"
"Look outside."
There stood Schizzy. Albeit charred to the bone. And still smoking. The ground around him turned into glass. Keelzbunny didn't know any better, but it looked like Schizzy was screaming defiantly at the heavens.
"Crap."