TOWN CRIES OVER BOILED BLOOD
MURDERVILLE, August 18 ? Despite the execution by mauling of Schizzy, the local crankpot, another Murdervillian was murdered yet once again.
The latest victim was Emurlahn, Murderville's local magician. Though reported by authorities to have died of extreme hemorrhaging, the local stand-in town doctor said otherwise.
"It's obvious he died by magic! He was boiled inside by his own blood!" raged Dr Skye, whose bloody chainsaw clearly marks her as a medical professional.
This declaration did little to calm the heightened tensions felt in Murderville as the locals are getting ready to lynch the next unlucky soul.
In other news, worshippers of the God-like being has 'gone camping' and has been unavailable to make dreams come true.
*NEWSFLASH*
LOCAL MURDERVILLE COUNCIL PLAYS GOD
MURDERVILLE, August 18 ? In a bid to end the carnage, Neo, the local village idiot, comedian and Canadian, formed a local council, declaring himself Lord and King of all, and plans to wipe out the town of Murderville in a nefarious bid to replace elementsoul as the new God.
How the town will respond has yet to be decided.
As this writer is stone cold dead, I say, "Death to the living!"