@Pm0n3y: Yay! Finally the arbiter is actually doing their job!
*begins taking notes on the ensuing carnage*
*begins taking notes on the ensuing carnage*
Serial Killer Round 34: Raw, Uncensored & Uncut! (Yet Another Completed Round!)
- Thread starter Pm0n3y
- Start date
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@Schizzy: You already caused me to go all suicidal clown today. Now you want me lynched on top of that? 
*writes increasingly suspicous notes...er...'doodles'*
*writes increasingly suspicous notes...er...'doodles'*
@j1-2: you assume my goal was to kill the killer
also: I GET TO WRITE THE DEATH D8 mwahahah i take away your death writing powers
srsly i was just bored, and the spy almost nulled my powers
also: I GET TO WRITE THE DEATH D8 mwahahah i take away your death writing powers
srsly i was just bored, and the spy almost nulled my powers
What was I doing?
I had no idea who the killer was. As usual. I made a mental note to tweak the rules if I had the luck to get drawn as killer thrice, and be reincarnated as god. But that's all beside the point. How many other people got a free pass to kill someone? Too bad it does absolutely nothing without any direction. I literally rolled a die to decide the fate of some chump.
In the most nonchalant of ways I waited in an alley, a little past midnight, and counted the people that walked by. Lucky number 5... aka the-first-guy-who-walked-by-alone. I pulled out a fire ax: my trident was buried under a mound of stuff I bought with my new paycheck, and I was already going through some copyright bullshit for my lovely chainsaw.
This time I shot him first, then proceeded to hew his limbs off. The body was still warm, and bled a little, but it wasn't too messy and, well, he wasn't screaming and thrashing anymore. Win-win. Each piece went in shrink wrap, and then in a little box with packaging and xmas wrapping. Happy holidays to all residents of Murderville eh? Sorry if the pieces rot a little before you get them. Also, I tried to make sure everyone got a decently sized piece.
Since I signed my names on all your cards, I guess it wasn't stupid to think that the police would show up. They looked pretty pissed about finding a killer: only to find that I wasn't the right one, per se. What kind of city gets disappointed when they catch a killer? Murderville.
So here I stand, drenched in sweet smelling gasoline. It's very cold, and plenty uncomfortable as I toy with a lighter. Hopefully the explosion will kill me before the fire.
I had no idea who the killer was. As usual. I made a mental note to tweak the rules if I had the luck to get drawn as killer thrice, and be reincarnated as god. But that's all beside the point. How many other people got a free pass to kill someone? Too bad it does absolutely nothing without any direction. I literally rolled a die to decide the fate of some chump.
In the most nonchalant of ways I waited in an alley, a little past midnight, and counted the people that walked by. Lucky number 5... aka the-first-guy-who-walked-by-alone. I pulled out a fire ax: my trident was buried under a mound of stuff I bought with my new paycheck, and I was already going through some copyright bullshit for my lovely chainsaw.
This time I shot him first, then proceeded to hew his limbs off. The body was still warm, and bled a little, but it wasn't too messy and, well, he wasn't screaming and thrashing anymore. Win-win. Each piece went in shrink wrap, and then in a little box with packaging and xmas wrapping. Happy holidays to all residents of Murderville eh? Sorry if the pieces rot a little before you get them. Also, I tried to make sure everyone got a decently sized piece.
Since I signed my names on all your cards, I guess it wasn't stupid to think that the police would show up. They looked pretty pissed about finding a killer: only to find that I wasn't the right one, per se. What kind of city gets disappointed when they catch a killer? Murderville.
So here I stand, drenched in sweet smelling gasoline. It's very cold, and plenty uncomfortable as I toy with a lighter. Hopefully the explosion will kill me before the fire.
Man shit has gone down since I last poked my head in here. I still blame the Toronto Maple Leafs
@sky: nuh uh
on a more frustrating note, i realize i hate my new job before ive even started.
yesterday my dad politely informed me that i cannot make it to my new jobs orientation because he will be taking the car. today i called the manager, and she said my hiring is now suspended until further notice, aka until they actually need people again. which may be next week, or may be after xmas. and then i found out it wouldnt have worked anyways, because while i scheduled my orientation at 2 with her, she says this morning that the orientation was at 10. imagine me showing up at 2pm for a 10am meeting.
>_>
_>
maybe i should look for another job
WHATEVER I DONT NEED YOU I HAVE BLACK FRIDAY GAMES COMING IN THE MAIL! WWOOOOOOO
[sub][sub][sub]also i already have another job, so nyeh[/sub][/sub][/sub]
that also means that i get a free vacation day today to sleep in. good thing too, i feel like i was getting sick.
on a more frustrating note, i realize i hate my new job before ive even started.
yesterday my dad politely informed me that i cannot make it to my new jobs orientation because he will be taking the car. today i called the manager, and she said my hiring is now suspended until further notice, aka until they actually need people again. which may be next week, or may be after xmas. and then i found out it wouldnt have worked anyways, because while i scheduled my orientation at 2 with her, she says this morning that the orientation was at 10. imagine me showing up at 2pm for a 10am meeting.
>_>
_>
maybe i should look for another job
WHATEVER I DONT NEED YOU I HAVE BLACK FRIDAY GAMES COMING IN THE MAIL! WWOOOOOOO
[sub][sub][sub]also i already have another job, so nyeh[/sub][/sub][/sub]
that also means that i get a free vacation day today to sleep in. good thing too, i feel like i was getting sick.
@Skye: Wow, that sounds amazingly complicated :0
Kinda harsh they suspended your hiring though..
Kinda harsh they suspended your hiring though..
@Sky: Snow's pretty much gone now (Hooray for living on the coast!)
@Link: Again, I know your MO. I think you're clean.
@Arbiter kill: Good effort Skye, even though to are now the first Arbiter to not successfully kill the killer. Still spot in the record books for you. Rough break though J1.
@Void: It's all their fault. Their not sucking this year is ripping this dimension apart.
@Skye: That kinda sucks about the job but if they're going to be that anal then you didn't need it anyway. Probably for the best too, if it's Target. I heard they are right assholes.
@Link: Again, I know your MO. I think you're clean.
@Arbiter kill: Good effort Skye, even though to are now the first Arbiter to not successfully kill the killer. Still spot in the record books for you. Rough break though J1.
@Void: It's all their fault. Their not sucking this year is ripping this dimension apart.
@Skye: That kinda sucks about the job but if they're going to be that anal then you didn't need it anyway. Probably for the best too, if it's Target. I heard they are right assholes.
And with two of my three suspects out of the way, I can safely say that SteakHeart is our killer this round. Thank you, Skye, for taking care of that for me.
First Question:
Does the killer live in the USA?
Answer: Yes.
Result:
Suspects Remaining: Gypsy ninja pirate zombie king, Icarion (aka Stockholm), Ynnek89, Link_to_Future, Fragrance of Mtn Dew, staika, axle 19, RBMidknight, SteakHeart, SkyeNeko, j1-2themax, War Penguin
Second Question:
Does the killer have more than one word in their username? Underscores are treated as spaces, hyphens are not.
Answer: Technically yes, but in the matter in which you're asking, no.
Result:
Suspects Remaining: SteakHeart, SkyeNeko, j1-2themax
With Skye and j1 dead:
Third Question:
Is SteakHeart the killer?
Answer: Yes.
Result:
[HEADING=1]GET HIM![/HEADING]
Does the killer live in the USA?
Answer: Yes.
Result:
Suspects Remaining: Gypsy ninja pirate zombie king, Icarion (aka Stockholm), Ynnek89, Link_to_Future, Fragrance of Mtn Dew, staika, axle 19, RBMidknight, SteakHeart, SkyeNeko, j1-2themax, War Penguin
Second Question:
Does the killer have more than one word in their username? Underscores are treated as spaces, hyphens are not.
Answer: Technically yes, but in the matter in which you're asking, no.
Result:
Suspects Remaining: SteakHeart, SkyeNeko, j1-2themax
With Skye and j1 dead:
Third Question:
Is SteakHeart the killer?
Answer: Yes.
Result:
[HEADING=1]GET HIM![/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]And with the Arbiter's mishap, two more people fall at the hands of calamity! But! The Spy may have the Killer cornered! Is the Secretive Savior correct in his findings?! Only time will tell![/HEADING]
...Because someone still has to die before we can vote.
...Because someone still has to die before we can vote.
