Serial Killer Round 36: Insert Witty One-Liner Here (Game Over)

[Schizzy]

@staika: I really thought that would work... oh well.

*winks at lion, who winks back*

 

[staika]

@Schizzy: you're in league with the lion........... That must mean!
*is sliced in the face by the lion*

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

@Schizzy:
@staika:

I think the wind is offsetting the trajectory of the feline.

You need something that will be optimal for obtaining your objective.

*stuffs a griffon into a cannon*

 

[staika]

@mortis: no I think schizzy is............ Plotting my murder!
*points at schizzy in a dramatic fashion*

 

[Schizzy]

@staika: Puhleeeez! I do not plot murders... I plot demises.

It's so much more classy.

Anyways, the people I kill don't stay dead for long anyways. They have a habit of getting back up.

 

[staika]

@Schizzy: so you don't deny it! You must be in league with mortis too.
I'M ON TO YOU!!! I'M NOT CRAZY!
*begins to foam at the mouth*

 

[Nouw]

*Cue dramatic music.*

 

[Schizzy]

*Pokes staika with a syringe full of sedative*

@staika: Now now... it'll be alright... just let us help you.

 

[staika]

@Schizzy: you bastard what did you do to me!? I am going to................... Why am i so sleepy......
*passes out*

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

So...fire the griffon?

 

[Schizzy]

*Paints "I m murderer" on staika's shirt and stuffs him into black van*

@Mortis: FIRE THE GRIFFON!

Note: Sorry for the edit. Got crazy with the delete and post button.

 

[CounterAttack]

In other slightly less weird news, the executed is working on their death-post.

 

[staika]

@Schizzy: not the black van D:

@mortis: fire the griffon at the black van!

@CA: Hooray news that isn't weird >.>

Let's hope they finish it before I really pass out

 

[RaNDM G]

Spoiler: I step in the bar and pull up a stool.

I step in the bar and pull up a stool.

"Barkeep. Round of Scotch. Please."

"Yeah, sure."

The barkeep pours me a round. I sip my Scotch. One of the townspeople in the back of the bar recognizes me.

"That's him. Grab him!"

I finish my Scotch and throw the shot glass at the man. Glass shards shatter and cut his face. Another man hits me from the side, giving me a black eye.

I stumble and catch myself on the counter. I pick up a chair and smash it over the man's back. He doubles over in pain.

I clock another assailant in the chin before a burlap sack is thrown over my head. My hands are tied behind me. I am beaten unconscious with clubs.

I wake up standing on a platform. Two men forcibly hold me upright.

The sack is pulled from my head. A crowd of villagers stand before me. One of them steps onto the platform, a judge by the looks of him.

"You have been found guilty by the citizens of Murderville for the deaths of two of its townspeople. The sentence is death."

A noose is tied around my neck.

"Any last words?"

I cough and spit on the floor.

"I'm flattered you think I'm responsible, really I am. Shame you have the wrong man..."

I take another look at the crowd. Their faces are expressionless, but their eyes are brimming with hatred and rage.

"Send my condolences to the next victim."

The judge pulls the lever. I fall several feet before the noose gives way. My body pulls tight against the rope, strangling me instead of granting the quick release of death. Whoever tied it must have done a terrible job.

I hang there for about seven hours.

I hang there for about six hours.

Five hours.

I lose track of time. As I hang there in my final moments, I form a simple thought in my head.

"Dying sucks."

 

[Schizzy]

@Mortis: Yes, fire the Griffon at the black van!

*Jumps out of rolling black van*

@RanNDM: First off... Neat effort on the death. Second... it's Murderville, not Goodsprings. Third... use spoiler tags. Fourth... you got glass in my eye.

 

[Jak23]

@RaNDM: I told you guys I shouldn't have done the knot!... Well, at least he died.

 

[RaNDM G]

@Schizzy Goodsprings? Spoiler tags? I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[Schizzy]

*Finishes popcorn*

@Jak: I dunno why you're complaining. That was entertaining.

OFF WITH THE NEXT VILLAGER'S HEAD!

@RaNDM: Don't be cheeky with me, young man. *Cocks shotgun*

 

[CounterAttack]

[HEADING=2]Yes, RaNDM G was the second to be executed!

But alas, he was not our killer.[/HEADING]​

We now wait once more for the killer and the medic to pick their respective victim and patients.​

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

@Schizzy:
@staika:

Oh dear, I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this...

*pokes head into cannon*

Erm...excuse me...Mister Bellingham? I'm uhh...

*sigh*

Yeah...I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you go...

*muffled voice coming from inside the cannon*

I know you have a family to provide for.

*muffled voice*

I know, I know. College isn't cheap, I mean I myself...

*muffled voice*

Well, Mister Bellingham, there's no need for that kind of language...

*angrier, louder muffle voice*

Excuse me? I will not have you come into my office so you can throw around words like that.

*muffled yelling*

You know what? You can kiss that letter of recommendation goodbye!!

*loud crash*

Thats it! Get outta my office!!