Serial Killer Round 39: Return of the Doubles Round (Cycle 12: We Have A Winner!)

[Tortilla the Hun]

@Trilby: Ah...so, can you be my permanent doctor, then?

 

[Link_to_Future]

@Trilby: Hugh Laurie always cures his patients. Sure, he almost kills them about three or four times before actually finding the cure, but he still has an almost perfect track record for survival.

So you could do worse. XP

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@Link I can and will. *proceeds to give a staiklone jaundice, misdiagnoses, kills patient*

 

[Jak23]

@Link: Once I was told to google "2 girls 1 cup". Never again...

 

[Link_to_Future]

@Trilby: HOW DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE TO PRACTICE MEDICINE? GET OUT OF MY HOSPITAL NOW!

@Jak: Yeah, that one is pretty infamous for good reason.

Of course, XKCD [http://xkcd.com/467/] did the research on all derivatives so no one else has to.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@Link As I said in the Holiday Special: I sharpied it onto my wall.

 

[Link_to_Future]

@Trilby: SHARPIE IS UNACCEPTABLE! THE ONLY FAKE MEDICAL LICENSES WE TAKE AROUND HERE WERE FORGED WITH A GENUINE QUILL!

*calls security*

 

[Malyc]

*forges genuine medical license with a legitimate old-school printing press and quill*

*puts up sign that says "Doctor Malyc's office"*

Now accepting customers

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@Mal you're trying to put my cookie stall out of business, aren't you! well at least I have my barber shop and insurance office.
Well guess what? Now I'm branching off into malpractice law!
*HAVE YOU BEEN SICK?
BLAME DOCTOR MALYC, THEN SUE HIM!
WE'LL DO THAT!*

 

[staika]

*appears wearing a suit and glasses holding a brief case*
Hello I am Mr. staika and I can help you sue Dr. Malyc for any thing he may have done to you. And if I lose the case you still have to pay me.
*adjusts glasses causing light to reflect off the glasses*
So don't let dr malyc get away without a hit to the wallet. Hire me and I can give you a 70% chance of winning your law suit. act now and get a free bobble head with any law suit.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

staika! GIVE UP OR I KILL YOU! *holds knife to staiklone throat*

 

[staika]

*sues trilby for a million dollars and wins*

Don't question what I can do to your wallet.
*adjusts glasses*

 

[ShindoL Shill]

Can you... impregnate it? *throws wallet at staika*
*returns to baking cookies made of staika-parts*

 

[Malyc]

*puts on business attire and sunglasses*

*changes sign to read "Dr. Malyc's Law Firm*

*uses same technique to forge law degree*

@Staika: Come at me, bro.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

*gets quill and writes down various degrees*
HAH! I now have a Bachelors degree in French Literature! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!

 

[staika]

@malyc: is that a challenge!?
*adjusts glasses*
I will sue you for everything your worth.

 

[Malyc]

@Staika: Why yes, yes it is indeed a challenge.

*settles trenchcoat*

I'll counter sue you for everything the both of us are worth combined!

 

[InsomniJack]

@staika A million dollars isn't cool. You know what is cool?

A frillion, wajillion, bazillion... [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnl-yQjGYBs&t=1m]

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@Malika: I'll read François-René de Chateaubriand's Atala at you until you drop the lawsuits!

 

[ShindoL Shill]

Hello? Is anybody there? *turns on torch, waves it around*