Serial Killer Round 44 - Dungeons & Doubles! Started! Killer is Dead! Round Over!
- Thread starter sky14kemea
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@RaNDM G: You really shouldn't have bothered pointing out that pun. Honestly it's hardly a pun and not even funny by the standards of people who actually like them. *Picks up a bag of lightning bolts and dumps it on top of RaNDM G. Watches intently as RaNDM G is turned into a burnt crisp.
This is all positively enlightning, and I can think of ample reasons why you would think that pun was a waste of time.elementsoul said:
Are a ghost.
Is a proton pack.
A ghost of a chance.
*blasts element with proton pack and traps him*
Let's stop with the puns and unnecessary cycles of respawning now.
Damn, has it been a rough day. All day it's been busy enough to not get anything done. At the same time, it's not busy enough to have great numbers at the end of the night. The customers are interspersed enough that just as one sandwich or pizza gets made, another one pops up. And each one is talking about the series of murders and lynchings that are going on, saying the same things over and over. 'Who could it be? Who's next?' It doesn't help that I'm on babysitting duty today for the new hire. It doesn't help that I haven't slept more than three hours a night for months. Who could, with nightmares like that?
Getting tortured to death by everyone in town isn't exactly the most tormenting thing I can think of; but, the intensity of the dream, the vividity of it...I'd swear it actually happened. I shake my head clear and look at the clock, hoping and fearing for what I'll find. Hope wins out as I see that it's finally time to lock the door and get to everything that I haven't been able to all night. I take a quick catalogue of all that's left to do and look at the newbie. He's a nice kid, but it doesn't take me long to figure out what he should be doing that would help most.
"Go home," I say, looking him straight in the eye.
"Are you sure?"
"It'll take me twice as long to walk you through everything than if I just do it myself."
"Alright. See you later, I guess."
I grumble an uncommitted reply as he clocks out and walks out the back door, making not a sound. The managers still haven't fixed the chime on the door. Not my problem right now. I have more important things to worry about right now, like the task of cleaning every damn thing in the store.
Barely an hour later, with only one thing left on my list, I'm a little surprised. I don't think I've ever cleaned anything around here without getting interrupted twenty times. I breath a heavy sigh of satisfaction and turn away from the headlights that just pulled into the parking lot. In front of me is my last project: the deli slicer.
I know that, mentally, I'm not in a good place to be anywhere near this beast, let alone handling it. The slicer has tasted human flesh before; but, I know that as long as I'm careful, the blade won't feast tonight. I ready myself and return with my fearsome sponge to find someone at the front door, looking inside. We catch eyes quickly and I just shake my head, pointing to the CLOSED sign right next to the door. The stranger doesn't seem to accept this, but I'm not being paid to care about that right now. I'm almost free. I begin cleaning and a smug smirk flashes across my face as I see the would-be customer turn away from the door.
I quickly get the dangerous bit out of the way and clean the blade first. No injuries. I'm in the home stretch, fantasizing about the rest that would hopefully be mine when I got home. The rest that the newbie was no doubt getting right now. And a curious thought crosses my mind.
"Did I lock the back door when he left?" I turn to check, and am met by something very hard crashing into my nose. My mind is going a mile a minute. Ow. Shit. Ow. It's just one thing after another around here. Damn that hurts. Why didn't the door make that obnoxious beep? Oh...right.
Wait a minute. This can't be right. This is just another dream, right? But I'd normally wake up right about now, right? No. As real as my dreams have seemed lately, they haven't been anything like this. Dammit, dream or not, I can't die here. Not like this. Without a fight. Again. I fucking refuse.
I've miraculously managed to keep standing with an arm on the counter. Perfect. All my muscles tense as I prepare and unleash the heaviest backhand I could muster while praying that I would, against whatever odds, actually hit this jerk's face while swinging blind. A grunt and the sharp pain in my hand tells me I at least hit my target. I can't afford to think. Continue the assault. Fists, feet, knees, forehead, whatever. Elation fills me. Whoever this guy is, I have him on the ropes. He slumps against the wall and something hits the floor with a heavy CLANG. I look down to see a wrench on the floor.
A wrench? That can't be what hit me. I can still stand. Did he need to be in an awkward position to swing it like he did?
No matter. I pick up the wrench. And even in those tight quarters, I don't have any trouble bringing it straight up and down onto his head for the finale. The form of my assailant crumples to the floor. Good, because I have nothing left.
Slouched, gasping, and panting, I carelessly toss the wrench into the killer's lap, and walk to the phone to call the police. Walking ten feet has never taken so long in my entire life. I stand next to the phone for a bit just trying to catch me breath. It won't do any good to talk to anybody if I'm wheezing and coughing every word. I gather enough of myself to control my breathing and pick up the phone right as it's torn from the wall.
God dammit. Not this shit again.
No more tight quarters allows for a much better swing, and I'm on the ground before I know what's happening. The killer spends a few minutes dissolving any sort of resistance I could put together by stomping my head and smashing my limbs with that damn wrench. When the thrashing is finally halted, I can feel myself being dragged across the floor. My bell has been rung too hard to know that anything else is happening. I'm standing now? How? I'm leaning on something. My head is resting on...what? I hear a faint voice, almost a whisper.
"Did you think that would work? Sorry, but you're no arbiter."
Not a what? Why's that important? What's going on? I summon all my strength just to open my eyes, and I wish I hadn't. My head has been resting on the slicer rack, the rotating blade now wide open and whirring hungrily. I have enough of myself to know what's going to happen, and my last, clear thought as the blade gets closer.
But...I just cleaned that...
Getting tortured to death by everyone in town isn't exactly the most tormenting thing I can think of; but, the intensity of the dream, the vividity of it...I'd swear it actually happened. I shake my head clear and look at the clock, hoping and fearing for what I'll find. Hope wins out as I see that it's finally time to lock the door and get to everything that I haven't been able to all night. I take a quick catalogue of all that's left to do and look at the newbie. He's a nice kid, but it doesn't take me long to figure out what he should be doing that would help most.
"Go home," I say, looking him straight in the eye.
"Are you sure?"
"It'll take me twice as long to walk you through everything than if I just do it myself."
"Alright. See you later, I guess."
I grumble an uncommitted reply as he clocks out and walks out the back door, making not a sound. The managers still haven't fixed the chime on the door. Not my problem right now. I have more important things to worry about right now, like the task of cleaning every damn thing in the store.
Barely an hour later, with only one thing left on my list, I'm a little surprised. I don't think I've ever cleaned anything around here without getting interrupted twenty times. I breath a heavy sigh of satisfaction and turn away from the headlights that just pulled into the parking lot. In front of me is my last project: the deli slicer.
I know that, mentally, I'm not in a good place to be anywhere near this beast, let alone handling it. The slicer has tasted human flesh before; but, I know that as long as I'm careful, the blade won't feast tonight. I ready myself and return with my fearsome sponge to find someone at the front door, looking inside. We catch eyes quickly and I just shake my head, pointing to the CLOSED sign right next to the door. The stranger doesn't seem to accept this, but I'm not being paid to care about that right now. I'm almost free. I begin cleaning and a smug smirk flashes across my face as I see the would-be customer turn away from the door.
I quickly get the dangerous bit out of the way and clean the blade first. No injuries. I'm in the home stretch, fantasizing about the rest that would hopefully be mine when I got home. The rest that the newbie was no doubt getting right now. And a curious thought crosses my mind.
"Did I lock the back door when he left?" I turn to check, and am met by something very hard crashing into my nose. My mind is going a mile a minute. Ow. Shit. Ow. It's just one thing after another around here. Damn that hurts. Why didn't the door make that obnoxious beep? Oh...right.
Wait a minute. This can't be right. This is just another dream, right? But I'd normally wake up right about now, right? No. As real as my dreams have seemed lately, they haven't been anything like this. Dammit, dream or not, I can't die here. Not like this. Without a fight. Again. I fucking refuse.
I've miraculously managed to keep standing with an arm on the counter. Perfect. All my muscles tense as I prepare and unleash the heaviest backhand I could muster while praying that I would, against whatever odds, actually hit this jerk's face while swinging blind. A grunt and the sharp pain in my hand tells me I at least hit my target. I can't afford to think. Continue the assault. Fists, feet, knees, forehead, whatever. Elation fills me. Whoever this guy is, I have him on the ropes. He slumps against the wall and something hits the floor with a heavy CLANG. I look down to see a wrench on the floor.
A wrench? That can't be what hit me. I can still stand. Did he need to be in an awkward position to swing it like he did?
No matter. I pick up the wrench. And even in those tight quarters, I don't have any trouble bringing it straight up and down onto his head for the finale. The form of my assailant crumples to the floor. Good, because I have nothing left.
Slouched, gasping, and panting, I carelessly toss the wrench into the killer's lap, and walk to the phone to call the police. Walking ten feet has never taken so long in my entire life. I stand next to the phone for a bit just trying to catch me breath. It won't do any good to talk to anybody if I'm wheezing and coughing every word. I gather enough of myself to control my breathing and pick up the phone right as it's torn from the wall.
God dammit. Not this shit again.
No more tight quarters allows for a much better swing, and I'm on the ground before I know what's happening. The killer spends a few minutes dissolving any sort of resistance I could put together by stomping my head and smashing my limbs with that damn wrench. When the thrashing is finally halted, I can feel myself being dragged across the floor. My bell has been rung too hard to know that anything else is happening. I'm standing now? How? I'm leaning on something. My head is resting on...what? I hear a faint voice, almost a whisper.
"Did you think that would work? Sorry, but you're no arbiter."
Not a what? Why's that important? What's going on? I summon all my strength just to open my eyes, and I wish I hadn't. My head has been resting on the slicer rack, the rotating blade now wide open and whirring hungrily. I have enough of myself to know what's going to happen, and my last, clear thought as the blade gets closer.
But...I just cleaned that...
Hey guys.
Just doing a little bit of advertising here, since a friend's RP isn't getting all that much attention and I figured why not help spread the word. With that in mind, have a link to The Children of Erebus, a role-play involving political revolutions, cyberpunk technology and zombies to an extent.
Just doing a little bit of advertising here, since a friend's RP isn't getting all that much attention and I figured why not help spread the word. With that in mind, have a link to The Children of Erebus, a role-play involving political revolutions, cyberpunk technology and zombies to an extent.