Serial Killer Round 71: Nightvale: Invaded

[crimson5pheonix]

@Wary_Wolf: I had enough trouble with console commands trying to get bring an orphan back into existence.

Will check it out, better not break my game...

*eyes you suspiciously*

It buys you excalipur

 

[Armadox]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡⊙ ͜ʖ ͡&#8857
( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡&#9673

What's in a name?

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡⊙ ͜ʖ ͡&#8857
( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡&#9673

What's in a name?

Unspeakable ingredients that would make both of your stomachs turn

 

[Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)]

Come on guys! let's have some gummy bears!

#SecondhandRevenant2015

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Come on guys! let's have some gummy bears!

#SecondhandRevenant2015

Unrealistic campaign promise, I don't turn to gummy when I die!

 

[Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)]

Come on guys! let's have some gummy bears!

#SecondhandRevenant2015

Unrealistic campaign promise, I don't turn to gummy when I die!

This is night vale, anything can happen. in reading my book of scientific bullshit of night vale when bears die they turn into gummy bears

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Come on guys! let's have some gummy bears!

#SecondhandRevenant2015

Unrealistic campaign promise, I don't turn to gummy when I die!

This is night vale, anything can happen. in reading my book of scientific bullshit of night vale when bears die they turn into gummy bears

I'm a human bear princess I just turn into a bear.

 

[Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)]

Come on guys! let's have some gummy bears!

#SecondhandRevenant2015

Unrealistic campaign promise, I don't turn to gummy when I die!

This is night vale, anything can happen. in reading my book of scientific bullshit of night vale when bears die they turn into gummy bears

I'm a human bear princess I just turn into a bear.

which in turn you becomes Gummy Bears. I mean get your facts straight about your species for once

 

[snekadid]

Meh, it doesnt matter at this point, I got crysan killed, as far as im concerned I won already, NEXT GAME! >

 

[Wary Wolf]

Ah, well don't worry then. I just enjoyed using Ghostblade with my mage for cosmetic purposes, plus it only had a weight of 1. Good for taking out those pesky wolves. (00094a2b)

Although 04004D91 could be tempered and dual wielded to increadible effect (Hearthfire only).

All that said, my supah mage is still at level 1... o_0

 

[EvilRoy]

Spoiler: My name is...

Spoiler: The Pro Log

"Darkness... The light... I don't know... It's a numbers game... Got the even position again... Repeat until you get the signal..."

"I just can't keep doing this anymore! You say that you were a Spy twice, a Priest, a Medic, a rapper, a different man, a different woman, a mime, and an apathetic pervert and that's not even the half of it! When are you going to stop thinking that you were all of these things because you haven't! You've just been you this whole time... and, frankly, I can't see myself staying with you until our end days if you still feel this way about yourself..."

My wife, John, was in the middle of another rant about my insane theory of being more than one being again... Usually while coincidentally sitting down, I would tune out, start rubbing myself with my thumb, and then offer to not have sex tonight because John is stressing harder than that flaccid carrot who met my teeth last month... But, tonight felt different like I was forgetting something important... Then, it dawned on me that tomorrow's the first part of the special broadcasting of the Nightvale... Granted, my knowledge of the original broadcasting went as far as the paraphrased phrase "Yes, it's true", but the fact that these special broadcastings have the same traces of SK waves as the ones I felt before in another life, I wasn't in me to forget something like this...

"Are you even listening to me?" John slapped me with the back of a hand... "Usually I could tell by your lewd thumbs, but I can plainly see through your blandish expression that my last statement has blown your mind back to nothingness... Now, do I have to leave while you're like that or are you going to say your goodbyes?"

I got up from my expression with words that could drive a steak into a vampire's heart... "You should leave because I don't want you to die by anyone's hands, of sorts, and that includes mine..." John stared at me, water shyly trying to escape the eye sockets... "Remember when I told you about my theory of SK waves? Well, I think I know where they're coming from in our world... However, if my theory is true, if you get the message, then not only are you effected by these waves, but it could lead to irrational behavior, changes in judgement, personality shifts, dazed confusion, and/or, worse, genocidal tendencies ranging from the singularity to the revengeance... As much as I want you to help me figure this all out, I just can't drag you into this if it means loosing the one person I would risk my life in making sure you don't end up like me... And you know how I am..."

John's water broke more on my shoulder than anywhere else. "You are fucking idiot, you know that? How can you be sure that we won't see each other again in the future?"

"Because..." As a pulled John closer to my pending hug, I drew out John's pencil from the butt pocket and stabbed John up the back of the neck... "This is the end of our arc together... just as the numbers predicted...." I could feel the blood flow down my arm, its familiarity seeping through my memories like bleach... When it seemed like the river was slowly drying up, I felt the buzzing from my PM ringing in my ear...

"Do you wish to accept the position?" A familiar voice spoke nonchalantly... "Then, let the host know right away! You know you want to!"

Spoiler: The Life in Times

"My name is of great importance... The numbers tell me this truth... When they change, so do I... My name is..."

I did not know what I really did before the invasion of the Nightvale... I assumed I was apathetic before, but it came off more salty than my semem in ice cream, yet that kind of continuity didn't seem to matter all that much... My number was 16 on the list and, before the call to roles, that was all I had as physical evidence... Mentally, all I could think about was numbers specifically their mathematic state of order on multiple numeric scales and patterns... Who cared who killed what as long as the number added up, at least... Or just work from the bottom up in a countdown fashion... I had a feeling that that would escape me physically from doing the mobster dance on the graves of the innocent...

However, my mathematical mental state peaked after 197 and was systematically replaced after 299 with names that came and went... Where they my name or someone else's? It didn't matter... I could just watch from the sidelines, say some bullshit, remember to say my name so that I wouldn't forget, and repeat until I could figure out who I truly was after all... As my manicured nails as my prerogative, that would be my goal! And yet, it still didn't feel like that was the thing I wanted to know the most about...

Regardless, just like everyone else, I sent my mail votes to the host when the time came around... Their names meant nothing to me every time... I was sure that none of them would die because of me just because the numbers told me so... They were right up until last night...

Spoiler: The Rip in Piece

I overslept when the PM buzzed... It was the current host... "Did you get that thing I sent you?" I checked my mail and noticed a note with the phrase "You ded as beans homie." written under who I previously voted for...

"Yeah, I did..." I drank some kool-aid to clear up my throat... "Question: Why is it written on one my mail votes?"

"Because I didn't feel like rewriting your current address..."

"But, it's only my name... What's so hard about writing my name?"

"Look, I got a lot of shit on my plate right now... unlike you, though..."

The PM stopped buzzing once my door started knocking... I opened casually as I see [REDACTED] covered in blood... "Can I please use your bathroom? I swear I won't Carrie the shit out of you or your bathroom..."

"Go on ahead, anyway... I don't care..." I sighed as [REDACTED] raced up to my bathroom and locked the door behind them... This was the illusive Killer the Nightvale spoke about during the Invasion broadcasts? Can't see I didn't vote for them once, I guess...

A hour or so later, [REDACTED] came out of the bathroom clean enough to kiss as they turned to me with a positive smile on their face... "So, how would you like to die? Now, just to be clear, I am on a tight schedule and please don't say 'like I'm Carrie' because without my lawyer, I can't have 2 times the luck on my side, am I right?" Their comedic banter wasn't helping this scenario...

"Meh..." I shrugged... "Surprise me..."

"Seriously?" [REDACTED] sounded annoyed by my initial response... "Come on! Think of something! I know the whole 'slasher stick' can only go so far unless your fucking Jason, but give me something to work with here!"

I thought about it before coming up with a solution... "How about when you kill me, I can figure out my true name! How does that sound?"

[REDACTED] looked at me like I was a terrible comedian doing standup on free open mic night... "Really? I thought your name was John..."

"No, I killed John before I got here..." Suddenly, me head started to hurt with memories from a pro log era... Images of a wife I used to have, a theory I knew to be true, and a cycle that never ended until I...

"Whoa! I did not do that, all right? I haven't even went in for the kill!" [REDACTED] pulled out a mechanical pencil shaped like a gun out of their butt pocket... "I told you I'm on a tight schedule, so don't make me pump you full of lead!"

I struggled to look into [REDACTED]'s eyes... "Tell me... Who am I?"

The next thing [REDACTED] said to me sounded like they were saying it with both a smile and a tear on their face... A smile knowing that they will kill someone off their list and a tear for not having a lawyer around to see something like this firsthand... "Ded, FPLOON..." BANG! The last sound of the gun traveled through my ears as the natural light of my eyes began to dim and the feeling of bean-shaped holes slowly fading away...

If one last thought analyzed throughout my mind, it would be this:
My name was of no importance this whole time...

I vote for

Hmm, that was well written, and surprisingly accurate at all the wrong times. Of course I deny everything, especially those items easily provable.

Well... I can't header text from my phone... Shit. Or newspost. Okay, well if ya'll want to start voting and throwing impotent accusations, you may indeed. In whatever order. I'll get a more official thing out in a few hours when I have a computer.

 

[Wary Wolf]

So it gives Ghostblade? I actually got that from a quest, two spooky ghosts gave it to me, have it hanging opposite my bed in my manor

Nah, it gave you a woodcutter's axe. Depending on your version, I found it strangely to be one of the better weapons in the game, assuming you can temper them (not in original game anyway). Oh, and 04004D91 is a wooden sword. Again, thanks to tempering and enchanting basically any weapon can be viable.

I also thought it was cool that you temper your Ghostblade with ectoplasm.

Probably the most fun I had in Skyrim was as a thief though. Albeit one that almost always avoided combat. He only killed 2 people in the entire game. It's fun to enter a bandit camp. Steal everything not nailed down and pickpocket various weapons and then sell everything back at Riften without the bandits knowing what was going on.

 

[Wary Wolf]

Wanna know what is truly broken? Right, there is a perk that makes sneak kills by daggers x15, which is great, but there is a piece of equipment that has the same effect and it STACKS! You can literally sneak behind a sleeping dragon and one shot it, no joke.

Yeah the dark brotherhood gloves right? Still killing most things on Legendary difficulty in one or two shots, so yeah you're doing 30x damage on most things tends to get overpowered fast. Enjoyed wielding them with the D.B. boots and the black hooded robes to make me look like a total bad ass. Vampirism helped too.

Going for a more witch hunter in this play-through, x-bow first then fireballs. Good fun.

 

[FPLOON]

@EvilRoy: Hay! At least I didn't give away names... except for John, who's more of a referential "Easter Egg" at best...

 

[Wary Wolf]

but it came off more salty than my semem in ice cream,

Shame the priest is dead, because for that line, I'd bet they'd resurrect you even if you were no-body.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Nightvale.

A theme I could have actually gotten behind...

*disappears back into the shadows*

 

[FPLOON]

@Wary Wolf: I see where you're going with that...

@Link_to_Future: Maybe next time, you and the rest of the "old guard" can keep up-to-date with the current themes so that none of you can have that kind of reaction, of sorts...