Seriously, why do some guys pull this shit?

[Rin Little]

So long story short, I've recently started dating a guy who I met and he's awesome. We always enjoy spending time together, we're getting to be very close and we have a lot in common. Everything's going great...

But one of my guy friends is straight-up being an outright ass almost. When I first mentioned that I was dating someone new his first reaction was "I'm happy that you're happy, but I know that I could make you happy too" and launches into this whole sob story about why no one hangs out with him. I'm not very close with this guy at all, but he's constantly telling me how attracted he is to me and all this other shit and he barely even knows me because any time I saw him in person he just sat in a corner and didn't talk to anyone. Just a little bit ago when he was talking to me on IM he mentioned that he was feeling really horny... Why the fuck would I want to know that?! Seriously, this guy doesn't know shit about me and yet he's making all these comments as if he could convince me to dump my boyfriend and instead date him when he doesn't have a real job and no car and constantly whines about crap...

Why do guys pull this shit?!

Edit: Yea I know not all guys are like this, just when some of them do I'm completely unable to grasp as to why they think crap like this will work in their favor.

Edit 2: Thread's done, I deleted the guy from Facebook and am never going to associate with him again. Apparently he pulled shit like this on people before, I just wasn't in the loop to hear about it. The end.

 

[Ruwrak]

I know girls who pull these things as well. Don't generalize me along with them

Steppin back to answer your question:

"Because they got a no, but can try for a yes" fits in.
And because (most) people (like that) like wallowing in self-pity and hoping for a bone of any kind thrown to them.

Basically ignoring and moving on is an option

 

[chstens]

Oh god, well, some guys pull this shit because they're miserable, can't talk to girls etc. etc. He thinks that if he just tells you how he feels often enough and with enough detail, you'll suddenly realize that "shit, I was wrong, you're the one for me after all!" That's all there's to it, really. I suggest you tell him, sternly, to get his shit together and get over it.

 

[diebane]

Sounds like he's either 1 extremely needy, 2 unexperienced on how to win a partner over someone else, or 3 egoistic. Maybe all 3 of them...probably, that is. Don't blame him for his behaviour, he doesn't know better and is in love with you, despite not knowing much about you. Maybe he mixed up truly being in love with someone on a emotional level with being just really horny.

Dunno...why do you still hang out with him?

mfG diebane

 

[Colour Scientist]

Because guys who do that genuinely think they can guilt trip their way into your pants.
It has happened to me a couple of times.

I think they think that if they make you feel really, really sorry for them you'll sacrifice your happiness to be with them.
It's pretty bizarre, I know.

 

[RikuoAmero]

I'm somewhat like your idiotic guy friend. I too sit in the corner and don't talk to anybody when out with a crowd of people (which is rare). I too confessed to one of my girl friends, but got rejected. Thankfully, I never did anything creepy like your guy friend.
All I can say is make sure you explain calmly and clearly that you don't like him in that way. Also explain, that the IM comments aren't wanted, and if he continues, you won't be friends anymore and that you'll block all calls from him. Hopefully, like me, he'll get it through his head eventually that the feelings aren't reciprocated and will try to better himself. I did, I moved out of the crappy place I was in before and now have my own apartment.

 

[Mr Thin]

Now now, I know a lot of guys get unreasonable about women in this forum, but there's no need for the women to turn around and start doing it too.

You say he told you he was feeling horny? I'm afraid I can't put myself in the mindset of someone who would say that. Either he was coming onto you or he was trying to creep you out; either way, he's a creep. He also cares more about his happiness then your own, or he wouldn't be trying to guilt you into dating him.

I know you just wanted to rant, and weren't really looking for advice, but I say get a new friend. Guy can't go through his entire life thinking it's OK to act like that; someone needs to give him a wake-up call, and you are in a position to do so.

 

[Phasmal]

Because he has probably convinced himself that you are made for each other and nothing you say will convince him otherwise.
Just be honest with him, tell him in no uncertain terms that its never going to happen.

 

[Astoria]

I had a similar thing happen when I started dating my boyfriend. A guy I used to be flirty with suddenly became super flirty again and constantly asked me if I was still with my boyfriend and if I was happy. Every time I told him I was and he did the same thing 'I'm happy you're happy'. He got a girlfriend soon after and was constantly talking about her as if to try to make me jealous. It got really annoying so I just stopped talking to him altogether. I don't understand why anyone does it because I've heard of girls doing it too. In my case it was a jealousy thing even though he had never asked me out when he could've and it sounds like it is in yours too. He might not be expecting you to go out with him instead of your boyfriend but he probably is just forcing his way into your life.

 

[Rin Little]

I don't hang out with him, I've flat-out ignored him in a lot of instances, and I've shot down his offers to even hang out. I'm just sick of him thinking that he's going to "get" anywhere with me when 1) I make it pretty clear I'm not interested 2) I'm already taken and 3) I've made some pretty scathing remarks to him about the shit he says and he brushes it off or forgets it...

 

[EchetusXe]

Kindly explain to him that he needs to repress his emotions and never talk about them again. I mean if you end up pathetically begging people who you don't know to go out with you then you will end up either enormously depressed or going out with someone who has serious problems.

Tell him he still has a chance to maintain his dignity by leaving you alone and never speaking of the incident again. Its a hideous lie but he might believe it.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

I know girls who pull these things as well. Don't generalize me along with them

Steppin back to answer your question:

"Because they got a no, but can try for a yes" fits in.
And because (most) people (like that) like wallowing in self-pity and hoping for a bone of any kind thrown to them.

Basically ignoring and moving on is an option

This basically. There are desperate, pathetic people encompassing both genders. This guy obviously has, um, little understanding of social interaction, and social interaction with girls in particular. While I don't want to sound like I'm taking his side (because I'm not) this doesn't necessarily make him an arsehole. Keep letting him know, very clearly, that you are not interested. However, extending the hand of friendship, and giving him some constructive advice on how to sort his life out, might do the world of good for him, and if his getting over himself gets him off your back, then it's good for you too.

Edit: Plan B, if that doesn't work... just walk away. I foyu being around him will only ever make him more obsessive then the best thing you can do for the both of you is just stay away from him and hope somebody else can knock some sense into him.

 

[Dogstile]

Ah, round here we call that a joe.

Best thing to do is avoid him. He's a creep and if he's making you uncomfortable then you really should just avoid the hell out of him.

 

[Bobic]

Wait. . . Amy, is that you? I'm sorry! I just really like you! Can't blame a guy for trying right .

 

[WhyBotherToTry]

Yeah the guy you're on about is just jealous. He hates his life and thinks getting with you will be the miracle cure that will save him. He probably thinks the person you're out with now isn't good enough for you or something or that he'd be better for you. And as I'm sure has been said before, he doesn't get that you weren't into him and doesn't get why he's only just a friend.

 

[Ham_authority95]

So long story short, I've recently started dating a guy who I met and he's awesome. We always enjoy spending time together, we're getting to be very close and we have a lot in common. Everything's going great...

But one of my guy friends is straight-up being an outright ass almost. When I first mentioned that I was dating someone new his first reaction was "I'm happy that you're happy, but I know that I could make you happy too" and launches into this whole sob story about why no one hangs out with him. I'm not very close with this guy at all, but he's constantly telling me how attracted he is to me and all this other shit and he barely even knows me because any time I saw him in person he just sat in a corner and didn't talk to anyone. Just a little bit ago when he was talking to me on IM he mentioned that he was feeling really horny... Why the fuck would I want to know that?! Seriously, this guy doesn't know shit about me and yet he's making all these comments as if he could convince me to dump my boyfriend and instead date him when he doesn't have a real job and no car and constantly whines about crap...

Why do guys pull this shit?!

Most guys don't actually pull this. Tell him to his face in a very stern tone that you're not interested. Stay away from this person at all costs. Delete him from facebook/IM and block his calls.

If he keeps pursuing you, call the police.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Wait. . . Amy, is that you? I'm sorry! I just really like you! Can't blame a guy for trying right .

I'm not sure if this is a joke, or the most awkward moment these forums have ever seen.